Bones|Temperance Brennan|That's Life
Title:That's Life
Fandom:Bones
Characters:Angela/Hodgins,Booth,Brennan,Zack
Prompt:003. Funeral
Word Count:2,264
Rating:T
Summary:"Brennan doesn’t know how many ‘other times’ there will be. But she knows that she’d gladly go out drinking with Angela every Friday for the rest of her life if it meant that she would live. "
Author's Notes:Oh my god. This fic is,like, my baby! *cries* ANGST! Feedback please!
So many thanks to my beta callieach
That’s Life
I
Osteosarcoma. Bone cancer. They tell her it’s terminal after what seems to be the millionth test she’s had done, and she doesn’t know what to make of it. She accepts the news calmly. She does not scream or cry, but Hodgins looks like he’s ready to do both. He’s been through it all with her, and he doesn’t want to accept that it’s coming down to this.
She thinks of Brennan and the others and how she’ll have to break the news to them. Brennan especially, she knows, will be heartbroken, though she’ll try to hide it to the best of her ability. Booth will be sad for Brennan, and Zack will rationalize and examine the hell out of the situation.
For a fleeting moment, she thinks of Amy Cullen. She thinks of how she was much too young to die, and how she herself is about to befall the same fate. It isn’t fair.
II
She calls them all to her office one morning a few days later.
“I have some news,” she says gravely. She watches Brennan’s features crease with worry. A wave of guilt washes over her for what she is about to do. She loves Brennan like a sister, and she knows what she has to tell her will hurt her deeply. She doesn’t mean it and it’s not her fault, but the guilt is there regardless.
So, grabbing Hodgins’ hand for support, she begins. She tells them everything and there are no interruptions. When she finishes she has tears in her eyes and Hodgins is rubbing soothing circles on her hands with his thumb. Brennan is trying her hardest not to let the tears shimmering in her eyes fall. Her hands are poised on her hips and her lower lip is between her teeth as she processes what she’s just been told. Booth, looking sympathetic, is gently rubbing her back but she doesn’t appear to have noticed. Zack has a blank look plastered on his face as he tries to comprehend the situation.
The tension in the room is palpable and Angela wishes someone would speak.
“How long?” asks Brennan after a few moments. Her voice is choked and she swallows hard.
With a heavy sigh Angela replies, “Six to eight months.”
Brennan nods silently. There are a few more moments of silence before Brennan sniffles loudly and walks quickly from the room.
“Bones!” Booth calls after her but she does not stop for him. He does not miss the look of hurt that flashes across Angela’s face.
“Angela I’m sorry,” he says. “You know how she is. This is a lot for her to take in and she’s just trying to cope.”
“I know, Booth. I know.” She sits down behind her desk. She looks almost defeated. Booth finally runs after Brennan, leaving Zack still gaping at Angela and Hodgins. Eventually he leaves, too.
**
Booth catches up with Brennan as she enters her office.
“Are you okay, Bones?” he asks concernedly.
“No,” she says. The statement is so blunt in it’s truth that he aches for her. “I’m not okay. I’m not going to be okay.”
Booth doesn’t know what to say to her. He wants to tell her that everything will be fine. But he knows she won’t appreciate him lying to her.
III
Brennan has been avoiding Angela for the better part of three days. Angela doesn’t know why, but knows that it’s just like Brennan not to tell her. She’s distancing herself, and Angela doesn’t know if she can deal with that coming from her best friend just when she needs her most.
When she confronts Brennan about it, she is expecting to hear that she is sad, or that she is scared, but what she hears is entirely different.
Brennan is angry.
“Why aren’t you fighting, Angela?” The accusing tone of Brennan’s voice has Angela taken aback.
“What? What do you mean?”
“Why aren’t you fighting? There has to be something they can do! In fact, I know that there are several-”
Angela cuts her off. “I know. I know there are several ways to treat this…condition.” She doesn’t refer to it by name. It makes things real. “But it’s terminal anyway. Treatment would only prolong the inevitable. Plus, the drugs make you tired. I don’t want to spend what little time I have left too sick to do the things I love. We know how it’s going to end anyway.”
It’s disconcerting for Brennan to see Angela, the one who’s smile usually lights up a room, so pessimistic and down on herself. She wants to be selfish and tell Angela to prolong the inevitable as long as she can because she can’t imagine her world without her best friend. She needs to have that little ray of sunshine as long as she can, even thought it might hurt that much more. In the end she respects her friends decision because Brennan would want no different if the tables were turned.
IV
Angela wastes no time. She knows that her clock is ticking and she is not going to waste a single minute. She’s learned perhaps a little too late how precious life really is.
She focuses on the little things. The things that everyone takes for granted.
**
She teaches Zack the basics in reading body language, a crucial step in becoming a people person. She teaches him how to act, react and how to fit in. It’s all he’s ever wanted, to fit in, and she feels glad that she’s at least helped push him along the right path. He has great potential. He just needs someone to explain things to him.
Zack is filled with a certain melancholy feeling at the realization that the one person besides Dr. Brennan who’s ever really believed him won’t be around for as long as he’d first thought.
**
“Booth?”
“Yeah, Angela?”
“Take care of Brennan for me, won’t you?”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.”
“Don’t let her push you out, alright? She’s been through so much and dealing with this will be very hard for her. She’s going to try to push you out but do not let her. You’re someone she can trust and she’s gonna need someone to be there for her, okay? She won’t be able to deal with this alone. You know this already, though, don’t you? Just be there for her. You always are. You’ve been one of the best things that I’ve seen happen to her, Booth. Thank you. Just do that for me, okay?”
“Okay. Okay, Angela.”
“And Booth? Don’t you dare hurt her. I don’t know how much more she can take.”
**
Brennan and Angela do all the things that best friends do; the things they missed out on. Brennan feels immensely guilty. She has always been ‘too busy’ for Angela when in reality she hadn’t been busy at all. Clubs and bars are places that Brennan has never fit in, so she’s always avoided them by telling Angela that she has work to do, maybe some other time. Brennan doesn’t know how many ‘other times’ there will be. But she knows that she’d gladly go out drinking with Angela every Friday for the rest of her life if it meant that she would live.
**
She and Hodgins take the day off to do fluffy, pointless things. Hodgins takes her to the beach and the sickness disappears. They walk on the shoreline, swim in the ocean and picnic on the sand. She feels like she’s ten years old again and it feels exhilarating. She wishes the feeling could last forever.
He brings her to the swing set that night where the kiss, laugh, cry and relive the memory of what this place means to them.
They make love that night and afterwards Hodgins falls asleep holding Angela close. She doesn’t want to leave this behind.
When he wakes up in the morning he realizes just how much he’s going to miss this.
V
Angela’s condition deteriorates faster than anyone had imagined it could. It has only been three months. It’s too fast and nobody is prepared to deal with it.
She already looks half dead, hooked up to beeping machines and strangling tubes. She is a ghost of the woman they know and love.
There is always someone sitting in the hard, plastic chair at the side of her bed. Mostly, it’s Hodgins, losing sleep just to stay awake at her side. He does go home occasionally to eat, sleep and shower and when he does, he leaves Brennan to watch over Angela. Usually, Booth is with her, never too far away. He forces her to go home and sleep at night because he knows that if he doesn’t tell her to, she won’t.
Zack comes by at frequent intervals, helping anyone whatever way he can. He is not awkward or insensitive like everyone expects. The lessons from Angela paid off.
**
It is mid afternoon and Brennan is sleeping when Hodgins calls. She is suddenly wide-awake.
“Brennan.”
“It’s Hodgins.”
“What’s wrong with Angela?” She is worried. Her heart is racing. Did something happen? Was this the phone call?
“They don’t think she’s got much time.” Hodgins sounds like a dying man.
“Okay.” Brennan hangs up. Her chest tightens. With trembling fingers she calls Booth.
**
They gather around her bed silently. Hodgins sits in the chair and holds her hand, Brennan stands close to Booth at the foot of the bed and Zack is on the other side, across from Hodgins. The waiting is painful, especially when they know exactly what is going to happen. They’re not supposed to be waiting, and Angela is not supposed to be dying.
Sometimes when the doctors say that someone doesn’t have much time, they’re wrong. Sometimes it takes days.
Watching her best friend, Brennan wants things to be quick. She wants her suffering to end and she wants the agony for the rest of them to be over with. Waiting for the inevitable isn’t right. Angela dying isn’t right. But it’s life. And she knows better than most that life is unfair.
She doesn’t have to wait long.
A couple of hours later the beep of her heart monitor turns into a droning monotone. Her heart has stopped beating. The rise and fall of her chest is nonexistent.
Hodgins holds Angela’s hands to his lips, silently crying tears of sorrow. Brennan lets out a dry sob and turns into Booth’s embrace for comfort. Booth holds her close, one arm around her waist, the other soothingly stroking her hair. It’s the best he can do to console her. Zack’s eyes mist over as he realizes what they’ve lost.
VI
It pours during her funeral. It’s a nice funeral. It screams “Angela!” and Brennan is sure that it’s what Angela would want. But she is not listening to what is being said by the priest at the altar. She is staring and the ground and listening to the roaring rain falling around her. She does not cry. She feels numb.
Hodgins stands alone, not wanting anyone to come near him. She understands completely. Zack is standing respectfully to Brennan’s left. Booth is on her right. At some point his hand slipped into hers. He squeezes her hand and she squeezes back, but otherwise she is unresponsive.
**
When the funeral is finished, Brennan approaches Hodgins.
“I’m sorry, Jack.”
“I know, Brennan. Me, too.” She knows there’s nothing else she can say to him, just like there’s nothing anyone can say to her to make things right.
VII
“Hey, Bones.” Booth says, coming into her office one day after hours. He’s checking up on her. He’s been doing that a lot, as of late. It’s not really doing her any good, but she thinks the gesture is sweet so she lets him anyway. When he takes her to dinner or out for coffee she complies instead of being stubborn.
“How are you holding up?”
She sighs heavily. “I’m not.”
He knows that already, but maybe by asking she’ll talk about it a little.
“I always thought that Angela would be the one to never leave me. And I know it wasn’t her fault. But the feeling is still there, you know?”
Booth nods sympathetically, encouraging her to continue.
“Now that she’s gone…I feel like the world is pressing in on me. The pressure I feel on my chest is crushing. It takes so much effort just to breathe, Booth.” She looks up at him and there are tears in her eyes. He sits next to her and takes her hand in his, letting her cry tears she’s been holding in since Angela’s funeral. He feels he is a poor substitute for her best friend, but it is the most he can give her right now.
VIII
The new forensic artist at the Jeffersonian is a nice enough girl. She gets the job done well and is not in the way of anybody.
But she can’t hold a candle to Angela, and she knows this. She’ll never really be a member of their team. That’s okay with her because she knows what Angela was to this group. She would never dare try to replace her.
It would be disrespectful to the others and to Angela’s memory. The team is so grateful that they found someone so gracious. Things will never be the same.
But that’s life.
FINIS
Fandom:Bones
Characters:Angela/Hodgins,Booth,Brennan,Zack
Prompt:003. Funeral
Word Count:2,264
Rating:T
Summary:"Brennan doesn’t know how many ‘other times’ there will be. But she knows that she’d gladly go out drinking with Angela every Friday for the rest of her life if it meant that she would live. "
Author's Notes:Oh my god. This fic is,like, my baby! *cries* ANGST! Feedback please!
So many thanks to my beta callieach
That’s Life
I
Osteosarcoma. Bone cancer. They tell her it’s terminal after what seems to be the millionth test she’s had done, and she doesn’t know what to make of it. She accepts the news calmly. She does not scream or cry, but Hodgins looks like he’s ready to do both. He’s been through it all with her, and he doesn’t want to accept that it’s coming down to this.
She thinks of Brennan and the others and how she’ll have to break the news to them. Brennan especially, she knows, will be heartbroken, though she’ll try to hide it to the best of her ability. Booth will be sad for Brennan, and Zack will rationalize and examine the hell out of the situation.
For a fleeting moment, she thinks of Amy Cullen. She thinks of how she was much too young to die, and how she herself is about to befall the same fate. It isn’t fair.
II
She calls them all to her office one morning a few days later.
“I have some news,” she says gravely. She watches Brennan’s features crease with worry. A wave of guilt washes over her for what she is about to do. She loves Brennan like a sister, and she knows what she has to tell her will hurt her deeply. She doesn’t mean it and it’s not her fault, but the guilt is there regardless.
So, grabbing Hodgins’ hand for support, she begins. She tells them everything and there are no interruptions. When she finishes she has tears in her eyes and Hodgins is rubbing soothing circles on her hands with his thumb. Brennan is trying her hardest not to let the tears shimmering in her eyes fall. Her hands are poised on her hips and her lower lip is between her teeth as she processes what she’s just been told. Booth, looking sympathetic, is gently rubbing her back but she doesn’t appear to have noticed. Zack has a blank look plastered on his face as he tries to comprehend the situation.
The tension in the room is palpable and Angela wishes someone would speak.
“How long?” asks Brennan after a few moments. Her voice is choked and she swallows hard.
With a heavy sigh Angela replies, “Six to eight months.”
Brennan nods silently. There are a few more moments of silence before Brennan sniffles loudly and walks quickly from the room.
“Bones!” Booth calls after her but she does not stop for him. He does not miss the look of hurt that flashes across Angela’s face.
“Angela I’m sorry,” he says. “You know how she is. This is a lot for her to take in and she’s just trying to cope.”
“I know, Booth. I know.” She sits down behind her desk. She looks almost defeated. Booth finally runs after Brennan, leaving Zack still gaping at Angela and Hodgins. Eventually he leaves, too.
**
Booth catches up with Brennan as she enters her office.
“Are you okay, Bones?” he asks concernedly.
“No,” she says. The statement is so blunt in it’s truth that he aches for her. “I’m not okay. I’m not going to be okay.”
Booth doesn’t know what to say to her. He wants to tell her that everything will be fine. But he knows she won’t appreciate him lying to her.
III
Brennan has been avoiding Angela for the better part of three days. Angela doesn’t know why, but knows that it’s just like Brennan not to tell her. She’s distancing herself, and Angela doesn’t know if she can deal with that coming from her best friend just when she needs her most.
When she confronts Brennan about it, she is expecting to hear that she is sad, or that she is scared, but what she hears is entirely different.
Brennan is angry.
“Why aren’t you fighting, Angela?” The accusing tone of Brennan’s voice has Angela taken aback.
“What? What do you mean?”
“Why aren’t you fighting? There has to be something they can do! In fact, I know that there are several-”
Angela cuts her off. “I know. I know there are several ways to treat this…condition.” She doesn’t refer to it by name. It makes things real. “But it’s terminal anyway. Treatment would only prolong the inevitable. Plus, the drugs make you tired. I don’t want to spend what little time I have left too sick to do the things I love. We know how it’s going to end anyway.”
It’s disconcerting for Brennan to see Angela, the one who’s smile usually lights up a room, so pessimistic and down on herself. She wants to be selfish and tell Angela to prolong the inevitable as long as she can because she can’t imagine her world without her best friend. She needs to have that little ray of sunshine as long as she can, even thought it might hurt that much more. In the end she respects her friends decision because Brennan would want no different if the tables were turned.
IV
Angela wastes no time. She knows that her clock is ticking and she is not going to waste a single minute. She’s learned perhaps a little too late how precious life really is.
She focuses on the little things. The things that everyone takes for granted.
**
She teaches Zack the basics in reading body language, a crucial step in becoming a people person. She teaches him how to act, react and how to fit in. It’s all he’s ever wanted, to fit in, and she feels glad that she’s at least helped push him along the right path. He has great potential. He just needs someone to explain things to him.
Zack is filled with a certain melancholy feeling at the realization that the one person besides Dr. Brennan who’s ever really believed him won’t be around for as long as he’d first thought.
**
“Booth?”
“Yeah, Angela?”
“Take care of Brennan for me, won’t you?”
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.”
“Don’t let her push you out, alright? She’s been through so much and dealing with this will be very hard for her. She’s going to try to push you out but do not let her. You’re someone she can trust and she’s gonna need someone to be there for her, okay? She won’t be able to deal with this alone. You know this already, though, don’t you? Just be there for her. You always are. You’ve been one of the best things that I’ve seen happen to her, Booth. Thank you. Just do that for me, okay?”
“Okay. Okay, Angela.”
“And Booth? Don’t you dare hurt her. I don’t know how much more she can take.”
**
Brennan and Angela do all the things that best friends do; the things they missed out on. Brennan feels immensely guilty. She has always been ‘too busy’ for Angela when in reality she hadn’t been busy at all. Clubs and bars are places that Brennan has never fit in, so she’s always avoided them by telling Angela that she has work to do, maybe some other time. Brennan doesn’t know how many ‘other times’ there will be. But she knows that she’d gladly go out drinking with Angela every Friday for the rest of her life if it meant that she would live.
**
She and Hodgins take the day off to do fluffy, pointless things. Hodgins takes her to the beach and the sickness disappears. They walk on the shoreline, swim in the ocean and picnic on the sand. She feels like she’s ten years old again and it feels exhilarating. She wishes the feeling could last forever.
He brings her to the swing set that night where the kiss, laugh, cry and relive the memory of what this place means to them.
They make love that night and afterwards Hodgins falls asleep holding Angela close. She doesn’t want to leave this behind.
When he wakes up in the morning he realizes just how much he’s going to miss this.
V
Angela’s condition deteriorates faster than anyone had imagined it could. It has only been three months. It’s too fast and nobody is prepared to deal with it.
She already looks half dead, hooked up to beeping machines and strangling tubes. She is a ghost of the woman they know and love.
There is always someone sitting in the hard, plastic chair at the side of her bed. Mostly, it’s Hodgins, losing sleep just to stay awake at her side. He does go home occasionally to eat, sleep and shower and when he does, he leaves Brennan to watch over Angela. Usually, Booth is with her, never too far away. He forces her to go home and sleep at night because he knows that if he doesn’t tell her to, she won’t.
Zack comes by at frequent intervals, helping anyone whatever way he can. He is not awkward or insensitive like everyone expects. The lessons from Angela paid off.
**
It is mid afternoon and Brennan is sleeping when Hodgins calls. She is suddenly wide-awake.
“Brennan.”
“It’s Hodgins.”
“What’s wrong with Angela?” She is worried. Her heart is racing. Did something happen? Was this the phone call?
“They don’t think she’s got much time.” Hodgins sounds like a dying man.
“Okay.” Brennan hangs up. Her chest tightens. With trembling fingers she calls Booth.
**
They gather around her bed silently. Hodgins sits in the chair and holds her hand, Brennan stands close to Booth at the foot of the bed and Zack is on the other side, across from Hodgins. The waiting is painful, especially when they know exactly what is going to happen. They’re not supposed to be waiting, and Angela is not supposed to be dying.
Sometimes when the doctors say that someone doesn’t have much time, they’re wrong. Sometimes it takes days.
Watching her best friend, Brennan wants things to be quick. She wants her suffering to end and she wants the agony for the rest of them to be over with. Waiting for the inevitable isn’t right. Angela dying isn’t right. But it’s life. And she knows better than most that life is unfair.
She doesn’t have to wait long.
A couple of hours later the beep of her heart monitor turns into a droning monotone. Her heart has stopped beating. The rise and fall of her chest is nonexistent.
Hodgins holds Angela’s hands to his lips, silently crying tears of sorrow. Brennan lets out a dry sob and turns into Booth’s embrace for comfort. Booth holds her close, one arm around her waist, the other soothingly stroking her hair. It’s the best he can do to console her. Zack’s eyes mist over as he realizes what they’ve lost.
VI
It pours during her funeral. It’s a nice funeral. It screams “Angela!” and Brennan is sure that it’s what Angela would want. But she is not listening to what is being said by the priest at the altar. She is staring and the ground and listening to the roaring rain falling around her. She does not cry. She feels numb.
Hodgins stands alone, not wanting anyone to come near him. She understands completely. Zack is standing respectfully to Brennan’s left. Booth is on her right. At some point his hand slipped into hers. He squeezes her hand and she squeezes back, but otherwise she is unresponsive.
**
When the funeral is finished, Brennan approaches Hodgins.
“I’m sorry, Jack.”
“I know, Brennan. Me, too.” She knows there’s nothing else she can say to him, just like there’s nothing anyone can say to her to make things right.
VII
“Hey, Bones.” Booth says, coming into her office one day after hours. He’s checking up on her. He’s been doing that a lot, as of late. It’s not really doing her any good, but she thinks the gesture is sweet so she lets him anyway. When he takes her to dinner or out for coffee she complies instead of being stubborn.
“How are you holding up?”
She sighs heavily. “I’m not.”
He knows that already, but maybe by asking she’ll talk about it a little.
“I always thought that Angela would be the one to never leave me. And I know it wasn’t her fault. But the feeling is still there, you know?”
Booth nods sympathetically, encouraging her to continue.
“Now that she’s gone…I feel like the world is pressing in on me. The pressure I feel on my chest is crushing. It takes so much effort just to breathe, Booth.” She looks up at him and there are tears in her eyes. He sits next to her and takes her hand in his, letting her cry tears she’s been holding in since Angela’s funeral. He feels he is a poor substitute for her best friend, but it is the most he can give her right now.
VIII
The new forensic artist at the Jeffersonian is a nice enough girl. She gets the job done well and is not in the way of anybody.
But she can’t hold a candle to Angela, and she knows this. She’ll never really be a member of their team. That’s okay with her because she knows what Angela was to this group. She would never dare try to replace her.
It would be disrespectful to the others and to Angela’s memory. The team is so grateful that they found someone so gracious. Things will never be the same.
But that’s life.
FINIS