Happy birthday, saura_! *brings in a cake with burning candles*
saura_ made a request today:
"Write me something funny, sloppy and Domlijah AND long. It's my birthday present."
I admit that maybe it's not all she's wished for, but at least the last part is fulfilled: It's her birthday present.
Happy birthday, honey!
I know that this is a few hours too early, but the next time I'll be online will be late, late after twelve, so fight the temptation and read it after midnight. If not, I'll spank you. =P And I know that it's not the promised B/J, but I guess that you'll like this pairing better, anyway. *laughs*
Title: Dom Does Not Cheat or 1001 Ways To Cheat Without Cheating
Disclaimer: Don't own Dom, Lij or Billy. This is 100 % fictional. Not making any money.
Pairing: Domlijah - I never thought I'd write it again, but that's what we do for love. ;)
Summary: Billy gets a phone call. Make that two. ...make that three. Elijah is having hallucinations. Dom is cheating -- isn't he?
A/N: No angst, no warnings, rating is PG13.
“Bills?”
“Hey Lij, what’s going on?”
“Bills... someone’s here.”
“Sorry?”
“Uhm... holy shit, Billy, here *is* someone…”
“Lij, why the fuck are you whispering? I can’t understand a damn word, the connection’s crap anyway, what’s so hard about making proper telephone connections between Europe and Am...”
“Shut up, Billy! They might hear you!”
“They? Who’s they, ‘Lijah?”
“I don’t know! I don’t know, Bills! I just know that they’re in there and they’re... they’re...”
“Don’t tease me so much. What?”
“They’re... . Shit Bill, I knew this would happen! I knew! What shall I do know? What if... if he’s really...”
“Elijah. What.The.Fuck.Are.You.Talking.About?”
“I... he... God, Bills... Billy... I wanna go home... away... he...”
“Who’s ‘he’?”
“...Dom...”
“Oh Shit! Ah, my dear Dommie. How is he?”
“I don’t know... I fucking... d-don’t know!”
“Boy, where are you?”
“In... our apartment.”
“You should be filming!”
“I took an earlier plane back.”
“Why?”
“There was no more work left and I wasn’t in the mood to meet any more reporters.”
“Admit it, you wanted to see him again.”
“YES! Fucking yes, I wanted to see him!”
“So, now tell me little one: Who is ‘they’, what are ‘they’ doing, what did you know would happen, why are you calling me instead of fucking Dom into the mattress?”
“I probably call you because HE’S FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE INTO THE MATTRESS!!!”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Say something, Bill.”
“He might have heard you now.”
“I don’t get it! I don’t get it! I’m away for one week doing shots and he fucks around... and he fuck-fucking takes the n-next BITCH!”
“How do you know it’s a woman?”
“I can hear their voices, Billy. I can hear their voices... . She’s talking and talking...”
“Can you understand her?”
“No.”
“And him?”
“Yes... oh God! Wait!”
“What? What is it?”
“He’s coming, Billy. He is coming in our bedroom because of a fucking pussy!”
“Oh, great, be quiet for a sec, will you?”
“What?”
“...”
“Billy?”
“I didn’t expect Dom to be this loud.”
“Billy, I’ve got a serious problem here!”
“Really? I can’t see it.”
“WHAT? My boyfriend’s cheating on me in my bed and you don’t see my problem?”
“Well, Dom’s the fucked one, isn’t he? Just walk in and catch the bastard.”
“I can’t.”
“What? Why can’t you?”
“Uhm... well...”
“Yeah?”
“I’m horny, Bills. I think I’d join a threesome now. In fact, I’m sure that I’d share him with six people if necessary.”
“You are such a baby, Lij.”
“I know.”
“OK. Listen... .”
“It’s over.”
“Huh?”
“It’s quiet in there. It’s over.”
“Oh how wonderful... Look Lijah, you really have to... Oh, hang on! Someone’s trying to call me. Stay exactly where you are and don’t dare to move, you understand me? I’ll be right back.”
“But Bill...”
“Just stay there!”
click!
“Hello?”
“Hey Bills, Dom here.”
“Uhm.”
“Sorry?”
“I said how incredible wonderful it is to speak to you, but I think there was something wrong with the connection.”
“See. So... how’s it going?”
“Dom, it’s about four am at yours, you surely didn’t phone me to ask how I am, did you?
“Uhm.”
“Sorry?”
“I said that you’re absolutely wrong, but I think there was something wrong with the connection.”
“Don’t try to lie at me, you fail anyway. Why are you phoning me?”
“Well... I didn’t want to... wait a second, how do you know how late it is here? I forget about the damn time shift every time.”
“I’ve got a watch here which tells me how late it is in L.A.”
“Oh.”
“So, what is it?”
“I didn’t want to talk to myself again.”
“Missing him, I guess.”
“Oh God Bills. You have no idea. I’m going insane.”
“And what do you do to keep sane? Fucking around, maybe?”
“Wha... WHAT?”
“Dom - what are you doing right at the moment?”
“I... I’m laying in my bed.”
“And?”
“Do you really wanna know that I’m a mess and have to take a shower?”
“Why are you mess?”
“For heaven’s sake, why’s a man a mess in the middle of the night?”
“Have no idea.”
“Why’s a man a mess in the middle of the night when he misses his boyfriend badly?”
“Still no idea.”
“For fuck’s sake, do I have to spell it out for you?”
“I’d love that.”
“Wanking, idiot.”
“You’re… wanking?”
“Don’t have much of a choice, do I? Shit, one more night, Billy…”
“But - wait a sec!”
click!
“’Lij?”
“You’re right.”
“’cuse me?”
“I’ve gotta go in there and kill the motherfucker. Thanks, mate!”
“Wait! Elijah, WAIT! It’s not-“
Beep.
“Shit.”
***
24 hours later:
Riiiiing!
“Dom? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, well, after ‘Lij and you had envisioned so nicely that I was fucking a woman - a fucking pussy - in our bedroom, he entered the room kinda upset. He basically beat me up before he realised that I - in fact - wasn’t cheating.”
“Dom… you’ve gotta admit that it was a little bit suspicious…”
“A little bit fucking suspicious that I was jerking off in my own bed?!”
*giggles* “I forgot how vocal you are, by the way.”
“Fuck you, Billy. I’m fucking pissed at you.”
“Jesus, Dom, get over it. Elijah said that he heard a woman talking and you having an orgasm - what the fuck am I supposed to think?”
*laughs* “That was Lij’s voice, you dumbass.”
“What?”
“It was Lij’s voice. I was watching this scene from the Rings where he’s half naked.”
“…”
“…”
snickers wildly “Fuck! I guess Lij was happy to hear that he sounds like a pussy.”
“Not really.”
“I know. It’s called irony, prick.”
“Whatever.”
“Anyway. I’m glad that Lij and you have kissed and made up.”
“And fucked. Twenty-four hours straight.”
“Yeah right. As if you could come so many times.”
“Well… maybe we slept a minute or two - but that’s it.”
“Right. I’d love to listen to all the details of happy homoland, but I’ll stick to my boring hetero girlfriend. She’s coming over in a minute - believe it or not, but it’s late enough to have sex here already.”
“I know. It’s eight at yours. I found a clock that was lying around more or less uselessly, so I thought I’d set it on your time.”
“Love you too, mate.”
“Yeah. You too.”
“…”
“Lij’s coming, Bills. Gotta go!”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Click!
Billy laughed softly as he cut the call. He didn’t even want to imagine how Dom was probably pressing Elijah to the door right now, kissing him as passionately as only two lovers could who needed to make up for long, lost nights.
"Write me something funny, sloppy and Domlijah AND long. It's my birthday present."
I admit that maybe it's not all she's wished for, but at least the last part is fulfilled: It's her birthday present.
Happy birthday, honey!
I know that this is a few hours too early, but the next time I'll be online will be late, late after twelve, so fight the temptation and read it after midnight. If not, I'll spank you. =P And I know that it's not the promised B/J, but I guess that you'll like this pairing better, anyway. *laughs*
Title: Dom Does Not Cheat or 1001 Ways To Cheat Without Cheating
Disclaimer: Don't own Dom, Lij or Billy. This is 100 % fictional. Not making any money.
Pairing: Domlijah - I never thought I'd write it again, but that's what we do for love. ;)
Summary: Billy gets a phone call. Make that two. ...make that three. Elijah is having hallucinations. Dom is cheating -- isn't he?
A/N: No angst, no warnings, rating is PG13.
“Bills?”
“Hey Lij, what’s going on?”
“Bills... someone’s here.”
“Sorry?”
“Uhm... holy shit, Billy, here *is* someone…”
“Lij, why the fuck are you whispering? I can’t understand a damn word, the connection’s crap anyway, what’s so hard about making proper telephone connections between Europe and Am...”
“Shut up, Billy! They might hear you!”
“They? Who’s they, ‘Lijah?”
“I don’t know! I don’t know, Bills! I just know that they’re in there and they’re... they’re...”
“Don’t tease me so much. What?”
“They’re... . Shit Bill, I knew this would happen! I knew! What shall I do know? What if... if he’s really...”
“Elijah. What.The.Fuck.Are.You.Talking.About?”
“I... he... God, Bills... Billy... I wanna go home... away... he...”
“Who’s ‘he’?”
“...Dom...”
“Oh Shit! Ah, my dear Dommie. How is he?”
“I don’t know... I fucking... d-don’t know!”
“Boy, where are you?”
“In... our apartment.”
“You should be filming!”
“I took an earlier plane back.”
“Why?”
“There was no more work left and I wasn’t in the mood to meet any more reporters.”
“Admit it, you wanted to see him again.”
“YES! Fucking yes, I wanted to see him!”
“So, now tell me little one: Who is ‘they’, what are ‘they’ doing, what did you know would happen, why are you calling me instead of fucking Dom into the mattress?”
“I probably call you because HE’S FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE INTO THE MATTRESS!!!”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“Say something, Bill.”
“He might have heard you now.”
“I don’t get it! I don’t get it! I’m away for one week doing shots and he fucks around... and he fuck-fucking takes the n-next BITCH!”
“How do you know it’s a woman?”
“I can hear their voices, Billy. I can hear their voices... . She’s talking and talking...”
“Can you understand her?”
“No.”
“And him?”
“Yes... oh God! Wait!”
“What? What is it?”
“He’s coming, Billy. He is coming in our bedroom because of a fucking pussy!”
“Oh, great, be quiet for a sec, will you?”
“What?”
“...”
“Billy?”
“I didn’t expect Dom to be this loud.”
“Billy, I’ve got a serious problem here!”
“Really? I can’t see it.”
“WHAT? My boyfriend’s cheating on me in my bed and you don’t see my problem?”
“Well, Dom’s the fucked one, isn’t he? Just walk in and catch the bastard.”
“I can’t.”
“What? Why can’t you?”
“Uhm... well...”
“Yeah?”
“I’m horny, Bills. I think I’d join a threesome now. In fact, I’m sure that I’d share him with six people if necessary.”
“You are such a baby, Lij.”
“I know.”
“OK. Listen... .”
“It’s over.”
“Huh?”
“It’s quiet in there. It’s over.”
“Oh how wonderful... Look Lijah, you really have to... Oh, hang on! Someone’s trying to call me. Stay exactly where you are and don’t dare to move, you understand me? I’ll be right back.”
“But Bill...”
“Just stay there!”
click!
“Hello?”
“Hey Bills, Dom here.”
“Uhm.”
“Sorry?”
“I said how incredible wonderful it is to speak to you, but I think there was something wrong with the connection.”
“See. So... how’s it going?”
“Dom, it’s about four am at yours, you surely didn’t phone me to ask how I am, did you?
“Uhm.”
“Sorry?”
“I said that you’re absolutely wrong, but I think there was something wrong with the connection.”
“Don’t try to lie at me, you fail anyway. Why are you phoning me?”
“Well... I didn’t want to... wait a second, how do you know how late it is here? I forget about the damn time shift every time.”
“I’ve got a watch here which tells me how late it is in L.A.”
“Oh.”
“So, what is it?”
“I didn’t want to talk to myself again.”
“Missing him, I guess.”
“Oh God Bills. You have no idea. I’m going insane.”
“And what do you do to keep sane? Fucking around, maybe?”
“Wha... WHAT?”
“Dom - what are you doing right at the moment?”
“I... I’m laying in my bed.”
“And?”
“Do you really wanna know that I’m a mess and have to take a shower?”
“Why are you mess?”
“For heaven’s sake, why’s a man a mess in the middle of the night?”
“Have no idea.”
“Why’s a man a mess in the middle of the night when he misses his boyfriend badly?”
“Still no idea.”
“For fuck’s sake, do I have to spell it out for you?”
“I’d love that.”
“Wanking, idiot.”
“You’re… wanking?”
“Don’t have much of a choice, do I? Shit, one more night, Billy…”
“But - wait a sec!”
click!
“’Lij?”
“You’re right.”
“’cuse me?”
“I’ve gotta go in there and kill the motherfucker. Thanks, mate!”
“Wait! Elijah, WAIT! It’s not-“
Beep.
“Shit.”
***
24 hours later:
Riiiiing!
“Dom? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, well, after ‘Lij and you had envisioned so nicely that I was fucking a woman - a fucking pussy - in our bedroom, he entered the room kinda upset. He basically beat me up before he realised that I - in fact - wasn’t cheating.”
“Dom… you’ve gotta admit that it was a little bit suspicious…”
“A little bit fucking suspicious that I was jerking off in my own bed?!”
*giggles* “I forgot how vocal you are, by the way.”
“Fuck you, Billy. I’m fucking pissed at you.”
“Jesus, Dom, get over it. Elijah said that he heard a woman talking and you having an orgasm - what the fuck am I supposed to think?”
*laughs* “That was Lij’s voice, you dumbass.”
“What?”
“It was Lij’s voice. I was watching this scene from the Rings where he’s half naked.”
“…”
“…”
snickers wildly “Fuck! I guess Lij was happy to hear that he sounds like a pussy.”
“Not really.”
“I know. It’s called irony, prick.”
“Whatever.”
“Anyway. I’m glad that Lij and you have kissed and made up.”
“And fucked. Twenty-four hours straight.”
“Yeah right. As if you could come so many times.”
“Well… maybe we slept a minute or two - but that’s it.”
“Right. I’d love to listen to all the details of happy homoland, but I’ll stick to my boring hetero girlfriend. She’s coming over in a minute - believe it or not, but it’s late enough to have sex here already.”
“I know. It’s eight at yours. I found a clock that was lying around more or less uselessly, so I thought I’d set it on your time.”
“Love you too, mate.”
“Yeah. You too.”
“…”
“Lij’s coming, Bills. Gotta go!”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Click!
Billy laughed softly as he cut the call. He didn’t even want to imagine how Dom was probably pressing Elijah to the door right now, kissing him as passionately as only two lovers could who needed to make up for long, lost nights.