Internet broken down - Baby Blue Eyes II
The latest News: My Internet hasn't been working for 72 hours (counting the minutes... counting the minutes...) by now and I don't know when it will get fixed - though I hope for tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
To salogel42 and saura_: I printed both, Home 8 and The Wedding 2 and will read (*whispers* freak out by happiness and drool over it *coughs*) them tonight! You're so wonderful for writing this!! Keeping me connected with the fandom. ♥
~
Title: Longing for the impossible (Kill me for it, it's crap)
Author: 0corona0
Rating: PG
Summary: Elijah's POV of Baby Blue Eyes - Elijah would do everything to make Dom happy, but there's one thing he believes he will never be able to give to him...
Feedback: Living and breathing from it!
Still dedicated to elfellon111, though she can't read it.
A/N: Many thanks to germansoulmate, because she was the first one who asked for Lij's POV and because she's wonderful anyway. And, saura_ - I hope this makes you smile. You still can do this!! You CAN!
Probably worse than the first one. Unbeta'd.
I love it when Dom is happy.
He is beautiful then, even more than usually. His eyes are shining like a sun would have broken through these grey clouds and his whole body is humming a silent song of bliss, only audible to me.
I wish for nothing more than that he’s happy - I would do everything to make him happy.
I’d leave my home and move to England, or to Syria, or to China.
I’d come out at once.
I’d throw my career away.
But he doesn’t ask me to do this.
He doesn’t need this to be happy.
“All I want is you, Lij”, he says and my heart bursts from joy as he kisses me gently, hands uniting on my hips.
“You always make me happy, baby.”
His whispered words are low and loving, but they cut painfully deep into my heart, because I know that there’s one thing he wants, and needs - one thing I’ll never be able to give him…
I love it to watch Dom when he is happy.
I love it how his hands drum onto the armchair when he’s waiting for his favourite movie to begin.
I love it to hold his hand and see how a huge grin pulls at the corner of his mouth when Billy leaves the plane and is already running before he has actually spotted us in the crowd, just because he knows that we are there.
I love it when I see how his face wrinkles up in smiles when I’m fucking excited about the tiny, old tea pot he just gave to me - because he thinks that it looks awful and I obviously don’t.
I hate it to watch Dom when he’s around babies. He loves them so deeply that it almost hurts - no, it does hurt - that I will never be able to give him this one thing he longs for so much.
It hurts so much to know that the love of your life would be happier with someone else than you.
Around babies, it is so clear that Dom would be the best father in the world - no other man I can think of is so easy with them. He is just in love them.
And always he turns around to me. In the second I meet his eyes I know that he wants this to be happy. And he is so used to me being the one who gives him all that makes him happy that he expects me mentally to give him that, too.
“One day… maybe”, I say because I don’t want to lie at him, but because I don’t want him to get hurt either.
His eyes darken and the sun that has been shining through the grey clouds leaves again.
And I break.
*
We’re at Matt’s house to meet Dom’s new nephew. He is the sweetest human being in the world and even as everyone leaves the room for dinner, Dom stays in there, around him.
But I leave too, because I couldn’t stand hurting him again with my words.
At the table, the people are all happy and corny. Too happy, too corny when I feel so miserable. I manage it to congratulate Matt and his wife honestly for this gift of God and ask them for the name of the little one.
“His name is Luke. Dom always wanted to have a son called Luke, it was the only one of his names he liked. But since he… since he won’t have any children forever now, we thought that he would want his godchild to carry the name he wanted for his son.”
My heart is ripped apart.
I am scum.
How can I refuse Dom thisgift? How egoistic can I possibly be?
And I break and break and break until there is nothing left of me than sharp shades.
I turn and go to the room I know Dom is in. The baby’s room.
As soon as I enter, I feel how tensed he is. How sad, how broken. I want to take him into my arms and tell him that everything will be all right, though I know that it won’t. Ever.
Dom is shaking - only lightly, but I can see it anyway. I can hear his body’s song, the song of misery, running on repeat.
The little Luke is clutching to Dom’s finger, flailing his legs around in uncontrollable movements. Both my lover and his godchild are almost crying, and the look is involuntarily funny. A snicker escapes my throat.
The baby reacts to me. He lifts his head as high up in the air as he can and looks, and he somehow figures that my giggling is a sign of happiness. So he smiles too, not knowing how else to show his feelings - a toothless sweet baby-smile.
It’s in this second that I notice that I long for a child too. It’s not only Dom. It’s me who shares the wish.
I walk up to Dom, encircle his waist with my arms and stroke his navel gently. I will hold him until he stops shaking, until he is strong enough to stand alone again.
I kiss his neck right on the sore spot where his necklace usually lays. I feel how he moves his head, and in the next second I meet his grey eyes. So loving, so sad.
My hand searches for his and laces them, almost automatically.
“One day, Dom.” …because together, we can do everything…
To salogel42 and saura_: I printed both, Home 8 and The Wedding 2 and will read (*whispers* freak out by happiness and drool over it *coughs*) them tonight! You're so wonderful for writing this!! Keeping me connected with the fandom. ♥
~
Title: Longing for the impossible (Kill me for it, it's crap)
Author: 0corona0
Rating: PG
Summary: Elijah's POV of Baby Blue Eyes - Elijah would do everything to make Dom happy, but there's one thing he believes he will never be able to give to him...
Feedback: Living and breathing from it!
Still dedicated to elfellon111, though she can't read it.
A/N: Many thanks to germansoulmate, because she was the first one who asked for Lij's POV and because she's wonderful anyway. And, saura_ - I hope this makes you smile. You still can do this!! You CAN!
Probably worse than the first one. Unbeta'd.
I love it when Dom is happy.
He is beautiful then, even more than usually. His eyes are shining like a sun would have broken through these grey clouds and his whole body is humming a silent song of bliss, only audible to me.
I wish for nothing more than that he’s happy - I would do everything to make him happy.
I’d leave my home and move to England, or to Syria, or to China.
I’d come out at once.
I’d throw my career away.
But he doesn’t ask me to do this.
He doesn’t need this to be happy.
“All I want is you, Lij”, he says and my heart bursts from joy as he kisses me gently, hands uniting on my hips.
“You always make me happy, baby.”
His whispered words are low and loving, but they cut painfully deep into my heart, because I know that there’s one thing he wants, and needs - one thing I’ll never be able to give him…
I love it to watch Dom when he is happy.
I love it how his hands drum onto the armchair when he’s waiting for his favourite movie to begin.
I love it to hold his hand and see how a huge grin pulls at the corner of his mouth when Billy leaves the plane and is already running before he has actually spotted us in the crowd, just because he knows that we are there.
I love it when I see how his face wrinkles up in smiles when I’m fucking excited about the tiny, old tea pot he just gave to me - because he thinks that it looks awful and I obviously don’t.
I hate it to watch Dom when he’s around babies. He loves them so deeply that it almost hurts - no, it does hurt - that I will never be able to give him this one thing he longs for so much.
It hurts so much to know that the love of your life would be happier with someone else than you.
Around babies, it is so clear that Dom would be the best father in the world - no other man I can think of is so easy with them. He is just in love them.
And always he turns around to me. In the second I meet his eyes I know that he wants this to be happy. And he is so used to me being the one who gives him all that makes him happy that he expects me mentally to give him that, too.
“One day… maybe”, I say because I don’t want to lie at him, but because I don’t want him to get hurt either.
His eyes darken and the sun that has been shining through the grey clouds leaves again.
And I break.
*
We’re at Matt’s house to meet Dom’s new nephew. He is the sweetest human being in the world and even as everyone leaves the room for dinner, Dom stays in there, around him.
But I leave too, because I couldn’t stand hurting him again with my words.
At the table, the people are all happy and corny. Too happy, too corny when I feel so miserable. I manage it to congratulate Matt and his wife honestly for this gift of God and ask them for the name of the little one.
“His name is Luke. Dom always wanted to have a son called Luke, it was the only one of his names he liked. But since he… since he won’t have any children forever now, we thought that he would want his godchild to carry the name he wanted for his son.”
My heart is ripped apart.
I am scum.
How can I refuse Dom thisgift? How egoistic can I possibly be?
And I break and break and break until there is nothing left of me than sharp shades.
I turn and go to the room I know Dom is in. The baby’s room.
As soon as I enter, I feel how tensed he is. How sad, how broken. I want to take him into my arms and tell him that everything will be all right, though I know that it won’t. Ever.
Dom is shaking - only lightly, but I can see it anyway. I can hear his body’s song, the song of misery, running on repeat.
The little Luke is clutching to Dom’s finger, flailing his legs around in uncontrollable movements. Both my lover and his godchild are almost crying, and the look is involuntarily funny. A snicker escapes my throat.
The baby reacts to me. He lifts his head as high up in the air as he can and looks, and he somehow figures that my giggling is a sign of happiness. So he smiles too, not knowing how else to show his feelings - a toothless sweet baby-smile.
It’s in this second that I notice that I long for a child too. It’s not only Dom. It’s me who shares the wish.
I walk up to Dom, encircle his waist with my arms and stroke his navel gently. I will hold him until he stops shaking, until he is strong enough to stand alone again.
I kiss his neck right on the sore spot where his necklace usually lays. I feel how he moves his head, and in the next second I meet his grey eyes. So loving, so sad.
My hand searches for his and laces them, almost automatically.
“One day, Dom.” …because together, we can do everything…