Aaaand, this one is really just stupid crack

[000_hester_000]

Title: Two-Man Teams
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Akatsuki, plus Orochimaru, minus Deidara. Kindasorta Kakuzu/Hidan, except for . . . not . . . really.
Genre: Crack
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 4091
Warnings: Hidan's mouth. Various character deaths and injuries. Also, miscellaneous innuendo. Misuse of fanon tropes. Some screwing up of the canon

Comments

[indira14]

Ahaha, this was hilarious I'm convinced this is how both Hidan and Sasori found their partners - through a dating service run by their bosses! 8D

I'm also convinced that that this is canon.

Hidan and Kakuzu were so freakin' amusing all the way through - in an extremely convoluted way, they're totally made for each other<33

You know, I was snorting bemusedly all the way through it, but I didn't actually laugh until Itachi showed up:

“He’s gone swimming with the fishes,” replied Itachi coldly. A mysterious icy breeze came racing out of the forest and ruffled his midnight black hair. An owl called eerily from a nearby tree. - ahaha, Itachi plus Godfather reference? 8D Just plain awesome.

Orochimaru was such a diva in this - a PMS-ing diva<3 He totally left Akatsuki like this and not because he was scared of Itachi.

“Anyway, I’m not sure what happened in the intervening time, but a few hours after that he showed up at some strip club, still drunk off his ass, it seems, and started harassing the strippers. Apparently he kept saying

[000_hester_000]

Well, at least Sasori and Deidara have more common interests than Hidan and Kakuzu do. So I guess that Pain and Konan's personality-matching skillz improved a bit with time?

It may be canon.

Every time I see Oro, I feel like he's a diva. He's just such a diva; I can't really picture him otherwise. He just knows that he's ~*~special~*~. Although, granted, that could be said for most of Akatsuki.

Yes, this is how it really went down. 8D

I am quite convinced of this.

Somehow, I am not surprised in the least that you've read . . . pretty much everything ever, actually?

You have to be careful with stripper!Itachi, though. If you don't tip him enough, he'll barf up blood all over you.

P.S. I just realized: you wrote Itachi. You should do it more often, hester<3

I'd like to, but it's so damn scary! D: D: D:

[chlothar]

Excellent! I like this, and I don't even know much about the characters.

Why is there so little good crackfic?

[000_hester_000]

The characters, however, know a lot about you.

I think because people have no idea what's funny. So then the whole genre gets a bad label put on it.

I mean, I've read some absolutely horrible, offensive, unfunny crackfic in my time. So.