Late Night Brawl
I should never stay up late at night. I don't like to speak of angels and demons but I believe demons dwell and thrive in the dark of night and well angels flourish in the fresh rays of dawn. I find I think not-so-great-things at night. It doesnt help that I just watched the Virigin Suicides, maybe this is why i read at night, to direct my thoughts to the positive. The only reason Im up is because Im supposed to do homework....its due in 7 hours. But yeah I cut two small cuts into my lower back about a week ago. No jumping to conclusions it wasnt for the normal reason I cut myself. I have a scar from a cyst and it was hurting and itching so I was worried it was coming back, so I cut to see if there was cystic fluid or blood. There was blood, and I cut no deeper. But yeah idk up until now I got in my mind that it would be so hard to break my skin, like my skin was iron and nothing could break it. Mind you for some odd reason thats only for me, I totally expect outside forces to be able to break my skin. Besides the point, the point is that I found out how easy it is to break my skin. And ugh there was such a satisfying feeling to it. Not the same feeling I used to have, frenzied euphoria, its the same satisfying feeling of peeing.
LOL, its probably not helping me to write this down. I should just do my homework and go to bed.
PS No worries I'm not falling back into old habits, its just something something evil planted in my brain to dwell on and I'm aware of that.
Quierdo Dios,
Dame fuerzas superar estos pensiamentos. Gracias.
LOL, its probably not helping me to write this down. I should just do my homework and go to bed.
PS No worries I'm not falling back into old habits, its just something something evil planted in my brain to dwell on and I'm aware of that.
Quierdo Dios,
Dame fuerzas superar estos pensiamentos. Gracias.