dont be so niave.
my heart hurts and hopes all at the same time. a very drunk justin admited that the reason this has been so fucked up is that he's afraid of getting hurt, while a very sober sierra told him that he'll never stop hurting if he doesnt let himself go.
but whatever. life isnt so bad. things are really good, except for that whole "i'll never be loved back" thing. and maybe he will love me. maybe he does? who knows. i've decided to take a leave of abscence for a week or two, based on the afore mentioned "we need time to think this shit through" stuff and also cause i start manditory seven days a week overtime as of today.
as he was sobering up though, he said something about needing a few days to sort things out in our heads and for the first time i said to him "you mean to figure out what YOU want. I already know what i want. the ball's in your court, justin." and he said "see, that's one of the things i love about you. you know what you want but you still want me to be happy." and then he kissed me. albiet it was drunk and sloppy and aweful, but sweet none the less, and i have never in my life been so terrified that i'm not good enough for someone, or that he'll decide he'd rather fuck around then take the chance that i might not hurt him.
fuck every girl who ever dumped a boy or outright hurt him for no reason.
and fuck me for even thinking for a second that this might go the way i want it to.
but whatever. life isnt so bad. things are really good, except for that whole "i'll never be loved back" thing. and maybe he will love me. maybe he does? who knows. i've decided to take a leave of abscence for a week or two, based on the afore mentioned "we need time to think this shit through" stuff and also cause i start manditory seven days a week overtime as of today.
as he was sobering up though, he said something about needing a few days to sort things out in our heads and for the first time i said to him "you mean to figure out what YOU want. I already know what i want. the ball's in your court, justin." and he said "see, that's one of the things i love about you. you know what you want but you still want me to be happy." and then he kissed me. albiet it was drunk and sloppy and aweful, but sweet none the less, and i have never in my life been so terrified that i'm not good enough for someone, or that he'll decide he'd rather fuck around then take the chance that i might not hurt him.
fuck every girl who ever dumped a boy or outright hurt him for no reason.
and fuck me for even thinking for a second that this might go the way i want it to.