White Trash Tuesday- Chapter Sixty
“Yay for white trash Tuesday!” June said to Carrie in
greeting as she and Max entered the appartment with their
weekly dinner.
“Chicken?” said Carrie.
“Check,” said June.
“Poutine?” said Carrie.
“Check,” said Max.
“Soap operas?” said June.
“Check,” said Carrie, switching on the television set.
“Is there anything else?” Max said.
“Check!” said Carrie and June, plopping onto the couch.
Max sat down beside them. They opened the paper bags and
spread the food out on the coffee table.
“You got the twonie meal!” Carrie said excitedly to
Max.
“He knows better now,” June said.
“I still don’t get the whole white trash Tuesday
thing,” Max said.
“What’s not to get?” Carrie asked as she nibbled at her
chicken.
“Well, isn’t it kinda like poor bashing?”
“You don’t have to be poor to be white trash,” June
said. “Look at Britney Spears.”
“So what defines ‘white trash’ then?”
“Chicken. Soap operas,” Carrie said.
“No, seriously,” said Max.
“I don’t know,” June said. “Bad hygeine. Teenage
pregnancy.”
“That green jello salad with the marshmellows,” Carrie
added.
“So Britney Spears has bad hygeine, is a pregnant
teenager and eats green jello salad?” Max asked.
“Well, no,” June said. “But she’s still white trash.”
“How?” Max said.
“Ignorance,” Carrie said.
“Yes!” June said. “Ignorance. Exactly.”
“So ignorance breeds white trash,” Max said.
“Yes,” Carrie said. “People who have no idea what’s
going on around them and right in front of them are white
trash. People who don’t try to do anything to improve a bad
situation because they don’t know or care that it’s bad are
white trash. People who learn right and wrong from watching
TV are white trash.”
“People who vote for George Bush are white trash,” June
said. Max laughed.
“And after they’re done watching Fox News and voting
for George Bush they pick up some cheap greasy chicken and
watch soap operas and talk shows,” he concluded.
“Exactly,” June said.
“So who would you vote for if you were white trash and
Canadian?” Max asked.
“Nobody,” June said.
“Nobody?” Max repeated.
“Nope,” June confirmed. “Because if you’re white trash
and Canadian, you have no idea that there’s an election
because all the good soap operas are on American channels.”
“And when you say ‘good’ you mean ‘crappy,’” Carrie
said.
“Of course,” June said. “But from their perspective,
the soap operas are good, and so is Fox television.”
“And every week we have a special day for them?” Max
said.
“Well,” June said.
“What?” Max said.
“I don’t know,” she admitted.
“Aha!” Max said. “You don’t understand white trash
Tuesday either!”
“I understand white trash Tuesday,” June said. “The
point is that on one day of the week, we can get cheap
chicken and hang out together and not care about what’s
going on around us for a couple hours. That’s all.”
“I see,” Max said.
greeting as she and Max entered the appartment with their
weekly dinner.
“Chicken?” said Carrie.
“Check,” said June.
“Poutine?” said Carrie.
“Check,” said Max.
“Soap operas?” said June.
“Check,” said Carrie, switching on the television set.
“Is there anything else?” Max said.
“Check!” said Carrie and June, plopping onto the couch.
Max sat down beside them. They opened the paper bags and
spread the food out on the coffee table.
“You got the twonie meal!” Carrie said excitedly to
Max.
“He knows better now,” June said.
“I still don’t get the whole white trash Tuesday
thing,” Max said.
“What’s not to get?” Carrie asked as she nibbled at her
chicken.
“Well, isn’t it kinda like poor bashing?”
“You don’t have to be poor to be white trash,” June
said. “Look at Britney Spears.”
“So what defines ‘white trash’ then?”
“Chicken. Soap operas,” Carrie said.
“No, seriously,” said Max.
“I don’t know,” June said. “Bad hygeine. Teenage
pregnancy.”
“That green jello salad with the marshmellows,” Carrie
added.
“So Britney Spears has bad hygeine, is a pregnant
teenager and eats green jello salad?” Max asked.
“Well, no,” June said. “But she’s still white trash.”
“How?” Max said.
“Ignorance,” Carrie said.
“Yes!” June said. “Ignorance. Exactly.”
“So ignorance breeds white trash,” Max said.
“Yes,” Carrie said. “People who have no idea what’s
going on around them and right in front of them are white
trash. People who don’t try to do anything to improve a bad
situation because they don’t know or care that it’s bad are
white trash. People who learn right and wrong from watching
TV are white trash.”
“People who vote for George Bush are white trash,” June
said. Max laughed.
“And after they’re done watching Fox News and voting
for George Bush they pick up some cheap greasy chicken and
watch soap operas and talk shows,” he concluded.
“Exactly,” June said.
“So who would you vote for if you were white trash and
Canadian?” Max asked.
“Nobody,” June said.
“Nobody?” Max repeated.
“Nope,” June confirmed. “Because if you’re white trash
and Canadian, you have no idea that there’s an election
because all the good soap operas are on American channels.”
“And when you say ‘good’ you mean ‘crappy,’” Carrie
said.
“Of course,” June said. “But from their perspective,
the soap operas are good, and so is Fox television.”
“And every week we have a special day for them?” Max
said.
“Well,” June said.
“What?” Max said.
“I don’t know,” she admitted.
“Aha!” Max said. “You don’t understand white trash
Tuesday either!”
“I understand white trash Tuesday,” June said. “The
point is that on one day of the week, we can get cheap
chicken and hang out together and not care about what’s
going on around us for a couple hours. That’s all.”
“I see,” Max said.