five; take back now, my life you're stealing.
because i have no one to rant to properly or no one to make me feel better, i am going to rant here. i am supposed to be a happier person this year. i think it would have been possible if my sickness wasn't making me so irritated. i mean, who falls sick right at the start of the year? and i feel so incomplete in a way. see this sickness is ruining my mood, ruining my life and ruining my near-approaching-birthday. and yet i am still being stubborn and staying up to complain here. eeee. my temp is 38.8 maybe that is why i am so cranky. i want to go to church tomorrow still. means i have to wake up early if my dad doesn't want to send me. and maybe i will be sicker cause of lack of sleep. and i have a math test next week i can't even revise properly for the numbers are all over the place. and if i don't go church tmr i won't get the chance to go so much when homework etc kicks in. and no matter how much i want to go for training i can't.
on the other hand, i am confused. when talking to you1 didn't work, i felt maybe talking to you2 might work. and you2 actually appeared when i was thinking of that. now i don't know what to think. and honestly, ranting to you2 does help. and as for you1, everytime i talk to you1 i keep getting more and more disappointed and tired and less hopeful. like maybe you1're not who i used to need to talk to, or maybe its that i need to talk to you1 but we just can't. and i don't want to be feeling like this:
yesterday was over
today i'm fine without you
run away this time without you
and all i ever thought you'd be
that face is tearing holes in me
so won't you1 go ahead and prove me wrong?
dear god,
i place all my hope and faith in You.
and i know i will get well soon enough
and that You will help me to stop feeling so crappy because of my illness.
on the other hand, i am confused. when talking to you1 didn't work, i felt maybe talking to you2 might work. and you2 actually appeared when i was thinking of that. now i don't know what to think. and honestly, ranting to you2 does help. and as for you1, everytime i talk to you1 i keep getting more and more disappointed and tired and less hopeful. like maybe you1're not who i used to need to talk to, or maybe its that i need to talk to you1 but we just can't. and i don't want to be feeling like this:
yesterday was over
today i'm fine without you
run away this time without you
and all i ever thought you'd be
that face is tearing holes in me
so won't you1 go ahead and prove me wrong?
dear god,
i place all my hope and faith in You.
and i know i will get well soon enough
and that You will help me to stop feeling so crappy because of my illness.