One Shot - Can't Cry Hard Enough
Title: Can’t Cry Hard Enough
Pairing: Broken!Yamapair (Sho x Ohno), Ohmiya (Nino x Ohno)
Genre: angst (fluff ending)
Rating: PG-13
Words count: 2,270
Warning: Unbeta’d, sorry for grammatical errors. Possible OOC.
Summary: The pain he felt from the past never seemed to fade. It pierced through his skin and left scars.
A/N: Happy Birthday, Ohno! Title shamelessly taken from Bellefire's song :)
CAN’T CRY HARD ENOUGH
Ohno’s heart raced, fast. His hands were shaking and trembling as he gripped tight his mobile phone, reading the text from his own best friend.
One simple word, but it was hurting him to the extent of him to shed a single tear.
He wiped it away, just to feel more miserable as another bead of tears followed. He let himself fall to the bed, let his mind float as he gazed at the ceiling above. Remembering how they first met…
Ohno grabbed his pen and a note, ready to take an order from the table near the Christmas tree.
“Didn’t notice you guys already here,” he said with a weak smile to his customer, friends from the same college. The tall guy with light brown hair was Aiba-chan, and sitting across him was the popular guy Matsumoto Jun.
“Oh-chan!” Aiba-chan beamed. “We just came!”
Right, ever since Ohno started working here, both of them seemed to appear here more often. Sometimes they worked on some projects here for hours, or just had a little chat, or played some card game until Ohno’s shift over.
That day, the two of them had informed him that they’d wait until he finished the job. That day was kind of different, since it was Aiba-chan’s birthday. A little celebration was planned at a bar nearby.
“So what do you wanna drink for the time being? My shift is about to finish in less than an hour, btw.”
“Anything is fine,” Aiba-chan said.
“Sho came!” Jun said suddenly, and he pointed out at someone wearing dark navy blue jacket heading his way to the café entrance.
The bell chimed, and Aiba-chan excitedly waving both of his hands towards the man.
“You guys,” The guy Jun called Sho started, “So cruel for calling me out here. It’s 30 kilometers away from my college!”
“Sorry, sorry!” Aiba apologized, and then Aiba realized how Ohno had stared at their new guest with curiosity. “Ah, right. Sho-chan, this is Oh-chan, our college friend. Oh-chan, this is Sho-chan, we met at high school.”
Sho smiled at Ohno and held out his hands to shake hands with Ohno.
Sho was really handsome, Ohno thought.
“Sho-kun…” Ohno whispered, feeling his lips trembling as the name slip out his mouth.
But no matter how many times he called for his name, Sho was far from his reach.
He cried more, as he recollected memories these past few years.
After their first encounter, strangely Sho visited the café quite often despite his whine that it was an hour trip from his college. He came to see Aiba-chan or Jun-kun at first. And gradually became comfortable to come alone and…
Wait, since when did Sho have this habit to wait for Ohno’s shift end?
And since when did it just normal to eat dinner somewhere just the two of them?
Well, whatever.
Ohno enjoyed Sho’s company so much. And he could tell Sho also enjoyed their time together too.
The two of them grew closer as the time went by. Too close, even.
“I wonder how’d you end up sticking to each other,” Aiba-chan asked one day, when they had a little gathering.
“It bothers me too, lately,” Jun admitted, “You guys are still… normal, are you not?”
Both Ohno and Sho laughed at that.
Ohno was somewhat relieved when Aiba-chan and Jun-kun laughed along with them.
But as he noticed how close he was sitting shoulder to shoulder next to Sho, noticed the way Sho had nonchalantly placed one of his hands on his lap, noticed how so casually Sho patted his head during the chat…
All those warms feeling…
Ohno’s chest was suddenly heaving.
Oh, it hurt as hell.
He clutched on his own shirt for strength, and couldn’t help the burst of tears flowing. He couldn’t control his own emotions. Everything was just screwed.
Both his love,
And his friendship.
Sleepover had become an unwritten rule between Ohno and Sho. When they spent the day together until it turned dark, they’d stay the night. They’d share the same bed, and seek warmth under the same blanket.
It was hell though, during Summer.
Ohno’s single bed was like a torture.
Just imagining two grown-up men sleeping on such a small bed, having their bodies pressed close to each other… oh the heat.
None of them ever complained, though.
Truth to be told, Ohno liked it, very much.
He started to feel tired. He could feel his eyes swollen.
Blindly searching for Sho’s presence that usually occupied the available space beside him, on the very same bed he’s lying on at this moment.
No one.
“Sho-kun,” Ohno brought the pillow which Sho always used onto his chest. He took a deep breathe, searching for the scent Sho’s left there.
Nothing.
And he blamed himself for doing the laundry yesterday.
“Sho-kun, you acted strange today.”
Sho just hummed in the dark. From his voice, Ohno could tell the other man was sleepy from the tough day.
But he tried again anyway, “Is something bothering you?”
“Satoshi-kun, can we just sleep?”
Ohno fell silent. Sho was always like that. Whenever he had a problem, never once did he ever tell Ohno. Sometimes Ohno doubted it that they’re really best friends, he wondered if he was trusted by Sho as much as he trusted the man?
Why couldn’t Sho just tell him everything, he might be able to help? At least he was sure that himself a good listener like Aiba-chan said.
He might not be able to give the best advices like Jun did, but he was sure he could do something to ease his mind…
“Listen, don’t think too much. It’s not about you,” Sho assured him.
Ohno knew it wasn’t particularly about him. But still, he couldn’t help but feeling he was useless for Sho.
“I know,” Ohno mumbled.
And it was Sho’s turn to be quiet.
Minutes passed and Sho shifted his body to face Ohno’s smaller figure. Slowly he circled his strong arms around Ohno. The hold tightened, as if Sho was afraid that Ohno would go away from him.
It felt as if… there would be no tomorrow for them.
By now, Ohno expected himself to be calm down, already got some peace of mind, and able to rest.
But what actually happened was otherwise. His cry was getting harder as he recalled how hard his life was after that night.
“Huh? I haven’t seen Sho-chan around much lately,” Aiba-chan remarked.
“Now that you mention it… you’re right. He is usually here, isn’t he?” Jun looked at Ohno who was busy taking a note of their orders.
“Where’s Sho-kun?”
“Maybe he’s busy,” Ohno replied. “I’ll repeat your order-.”
“Hmm, did you guys get into a fight or something?”
“Why would us!” Ohno didn’t know why he got so pissed by the question. Even though he was so sure that they didn’t actually fight. As far as he remembered, they really didn’t get into a major fight. They did argue over which coffee they should buy at the supermarket though, but that was all. And Ohno was giving up his choice and let Sho decide what to buy.
The only matter was that Sho had stopped talking to him.
It was the tenth day of Sho ignoring all his mails and calls. He’d been tempted to give his best friend’s house a visit, just to check on him that he was alright.
So he went to the address Aiba-chan gave him this morning.
He was surprised at how big the house before his eyes. Sakurai family was indeed no joke.
At this, he just realized something.
It was the first time he visited Sho’s house. After the years they had spent together (as best friends). It was Sho who had uncountable times of sleepovers. He vaguely having a memory though, that Sho had invited him over but he always refused.
And he suddenly felt bad about it.
And the thought of him not being nice enough to Sho, piercing through his skin and the feeling of guilt had taken over the anger he felt before towards Sho for being such a jerk not replying his mails or picking up his calls and also…
For making him lonely…
With a little courage he gathered, he pressed the intercom.
“Who is it?” the voice answered.
“I’m… Ohno Satoshi. Can I see Sakurai Sho-kun?”
He waited for about two minutes, and was told that Sho was going out and asked if he’d leave a message for young master.
Young master. Ohno laughed. What kind of person is Sho actually?
So he left Sakurai’s family house in disappointment.
The days passed without Sho’s presence in his life. Ohno was trying hard to live just fine.
But it’s just not fine.
It was different without Sho around. He needed Sho with him right now.
Why… why such a best friend could affect him badly. He had lost count of how many friends that come and go in his life, and he never bothered by their lack of presence or when they completely gone from his sight.
He wouldn’t care.
But Sho…
Ohno sat down on his bed after such a tiring day at work.
He took out his cell phone and looked up for Sho’s phone number on his list.
He sent a text message. Simply saying that he’d missed him a lot.
“I want you more than friend. I don’t know how to deal with my own feelings. This is just not right. It’s my decision that I won’t see you for the time being until I sort out my feelings for you and put them in the right place. Our friendship is beautiful, thus I don’t want to ruin anything. Please understand.”
He wanted Ohno more than friend. What’s the different now with Ohno’s real feelings?
But then he wanted to understand Sho. This kind of relationship, no one in this country would accept the fact that two guys were loving each other.
Let alone the whole nation, what about Sho’s family?
Seeing how well-brought Sho-kun was, there was no mistake he was from a wealthy, educated family. To have a son who dated a guy? It would only bring shame to his family, and knowing Sho-kun, Ohno knew that Sho couldn’t possibly turn against his own family just to fight for them.
But at least…
Ohno wanted to let Sho know his true feeling.
“Sho-kun, I think I feel the same way. I like you a lot, I love you a lot.”
“Just don’t. It’s… burdening.”
Burdening.
His love was a burden. He was a burden.
Sho-kun…
Sho-kun, Sho-kun, Sho-kun.
And Ohno fell asleep with his heart broken.
And he woke up just to remember that Sho was no longer here, for the time being.
For the time being… how long would it take?
Damn.
“Ohno, wake up. Hey, wake up.”
Ohno felt a warm hand touched his cheeks, stroking him gently.
When he woke up to a pair of arms circle around him tightly, pull him as close as they’re allowed, and try to make him calm as his tears flowing down uncontrollably.
“You’re not a kid anymore. Just don’t get so full of tears because you have a nightmare.”
His words were maybe wicked, but those hands never stopped stroking his back and soothing him the best they could.
“Nino…” he managed to whisper, inhaling some air to maintain his breathing.
“You alright?”
Ohno pulled away and saw Nino’s worried eyes fixed on him. He didn’t know what his face look like right now to cause Nino make such a face.
Awful, probably.
How long had it been since Sho confessed? Two years passed, if Ohno remembered correctly. But there was no sign of him to settle things between them. Ohno tried to move on, he had to live on.
And the guy in front of him right now was nothing but a perfect, ideal partner for him. He couldn’t be more grateful to heaven for sending Nino into his life.
Sho was something. Sho would last in his heart forever, buried deep down though, but Ohno would probably never able to erase him and all those sweet memories they had.
He would be sad, sometimes, when he walked down the street where he and Sho used to walk together. Or when he ate something Sho really liked. And when he sang the song he used to sing together with Sho.
Ohno, he knew he just couldn’t go on with those and avoid everything that could remind him of Sho’s presence.
Just like what people said, time will heal.
Ohno himself didn’t know since when did it become Nino’s favorite bread, Nino’s song, and just everything of Nino.
So he looked at Nino, smiling to assure him he was Ok.
“I’m Ok. You’re right, it was just a nightmare.”
“Idiot!” Nino said, “Don’t freak me out so early in the morning!”
Ohno chuckled, as he pushed Nino down against their bed and landed an innocent kiss on the other’s lips. “I’ll make it up to you, how does it sound?”
“Don’t start anything,” Nino warned, but the look on Ohno’s eyes playful now, and Nino just couldn’t help it. He just needed to make sure Ohno knew his place very well.
With a swift moment, he turned around their position that Ohno’s back was now against the bed.
“You are fully responsible for what happen down below here right now, you know that?” Nino smirked.
“I will take care of it.”
“You’d better.”
The two of them giggled and continued their business that’s need to be taken care of immediately.
END
Comments are so much ♥
Pairing: Broken!Yamapair (Sho x Ohno), Ohmiya (Nino x Ohno)
Genre: angst (fluff ending)
Rating: PG-13
Words count: 2,270
Warning: Unbeta’d, sorry for grammatical errors. Possible OOC.
Summary: The pain he felt from the past never seemed to fade. It pierced through his skin and left scars.
A/N: Happy Birthday, Ohno! Title shamelessly taken from Bellefire's song :)
CAN’T CRY HARD ENOUGH
Ohno’s heart raced, fast. His hands were shaking and trembling as he gripped tight his mobile phone, reading the text from his own best friend.
One simple word, but it was hurting him to the extent of him to shed a single tear.
He wiped it away, just to feel more miserable as another bead of tears followed. He let himself fall to the bed, let his mind float as he gazed at the ceiling above. Remembering how they first met…
Ohno grabbed his pen and a note, ready to take an order from the table near the Christmas tree.
“Didn’t notice you guys already here,” he said with a weak smile to his customer, friends from the same college. The tall guy with light brown hair was Aiba-chan, and sitting across him was the popular guy Matsumoto Jun.
“Oh-chan!” Aiba-chan beamed. “We just came!”
Right, ever since Ohno started working here, both of them seemed to appear here more often. Sometimes they worked on some projects here for hours, or just had a little chat, or played some card game until Ohno’s shift over.
That day, the two of them had informed him that they’d wait until he finished the job. That day was kind of different, since it was Aiba-chan’s birthday. A little celebration was planned at a bar nearby.
“So what do you wanna drink for the time being? My shift is about to finish in less than an hour, btw.”
“Anything is fine,” Aiba-chan said.
“Sho came!” Jun said suddenly, and he pointed out at someone wearing dark navy blue jacket heading his way to the café entrance.
The bell chimed, and Aiba-chan excitedly waving both of his hands towards the man.
“You guys,” The guy Jun called Sho started, “So cruel for calling me out here. It’s 30 kilometers away from my college!”
“Sorry, sorry!” Aiba apologized, and then Aiba realized how Ohno had stared at their new guest with curiosity. “Ah, right. Sho-chan, this is Oh-chan, our college friend. Oh-chan, this is Sho-chan, we met at high school.”
Sho smiled at Ohno and held out his hands to shake hands with Ohno.
Sho was really handsome, Ohno thought.
“Sho-kun…” Ohno whispered, feeling his lips trembling as the name slip out his mouth.
But no matter how many times he called for his name, Sho was far from his reach.
He cried more, as he recollected memories these past few years.
After their first encounter, strangely Sho visited the café quite often despite his whine that it was an hour trip from his college. He came to see Aiba-chan or Jun-kun at first. And gradually became comfortable to come alone and…
Wait, since when did Sho have this habit to wait for Ohno’s shift end?
And since when did it just normal to eat dinner somewhere just the two of them?
Well, whatever.
Ohno enjoyed Sho’s company so much. And he could tell Sho also enjoyed their time together too.
The two of them grew closer as the time went by. Too close, even.
“I wonder how’d you end up sticking to each other,” Aiba-chan asked one day, when they had a little gathering.
“It bothers me too, lately,” Jun admitted, “You guys are still… normal, are you not?”
Both Ohno and Sho laughed at that.
Ohno was somewhat relieved when Aiba-chan and Jun-kun laughed along with them.
But as he noticed how close he was sitting shoulder to shoulder next to Sho, noticed the way Sho had nonchalantly placed one of his hands on his lap, noticed how so casually Sho patted his head during the chat…
All those warms feeling…
Ohno’s chest was suddenly heaving.
Oh, it hurt as hell.
He clutched on his own shirt for strength, and couldn’t help the burst of tears flowing. He couldn’t control his own emotions. Everything was just screwed.
Both his love,
And his friendship.
Sleepover had become an unwritten rule between Ohno and Sho. When they spent the day together until it turned dark, they’d stay the night. They’d share the same bed, and seek warmth under the same blanket.
It was hell though, during Summer.
Ohno’s single bed was like a torture.
Just imagining two grown-up men sleeping on such a small bed, having their bodies pressed close to each other… oh the heat.
None of them ever complained, though.
Truth to be told, Ohno liked it, very much.
He started to feel tired. He could feel his eyes swollen.
Blindly searching for Sho’s presence that usually occupied the available space beside him, on the very same bed he’s lying on at this moment.
No one.
“Sho-kun,” Ohno brought the pillow which Sho always used onto his chest. He took a deep breathe, searching for the scent Sho’s left there.
Nothing.
And he blamed himself for doing the laundry yesterday.
“Sho-kun, you acted strange today.”
Sho just hummed in the dark. From his voice, Ohno could tell the other man was sleepy from the tough day.
But he tried again anyway, “Is something bothering you?”
“Satoshi-kun, can we just sleep?”
Ohno fell silent. Sho was always like that. Whenever he had a problem, never once did he ever tell Ohno. Sometimes Ohno doubted it that they’re really best friends, he wondered if he was trusted by Sho as much as he trusted the man?
Why couldn’t Sho just tell him everything, he might be able to help? At least he was sure that himself a good listener like Aiba-chan said.
He might not be able to give the best advices like Jun did, but he was sure he could do something to ease his mind…
“Listen, don’t think too much. It’s not about you,” Sho assured him.
Ohno knew it wasn’t particularly about him. But still, he couldn’t help but feeling he was useless for Sho.
“I know,” Ohno mumbled.
And it was Sho’s turn to be quiet.
Minutes passed and Sho shifted his body to face Ohno’s smaller figure. Slowly he circled his strong arms around Ohno. The hold tightened, as if Sho was afraid that Ohno would go away from him.
It felt as if… there would be no tomorrow for them.
By now, Ohno expected himself to be calm down, already got some peace of mind, and able to rest.
But what actually happened was otherwise. His cry was getting harder as he recalled how hard his life was after that night.
“Huh? I haven’t seen Sho-chan around much lately,” Aiba-chan remarked.
“Now that you mention it… you’re right. He is usually here, isn’t he?” Jun looked at Ohno who was busy taking a note of their orders.
“Where’s Sho-kun?”
“Maybe he’s busy,” Ohno replied. “I’ll repeat your order-.”
“Hmm, did you guys get into a fight or something?”
“Why would us!” Ohno didn’t know why he got so pissed by the question. Even though he was so sure that they didn’t actually fight. As far as he remembered, they really didn’t get into a major fight. They did argue over which coffee they should buy at the supermarket though, but that was all. And Ohno was giving up his choice and let Sho decide what to buy.
The only matter was that Sho had stopped talking to him.
It was the tenth day of Sho ignoring all his mails and calls. He’d been tempted to give his best friend’s house a visit, just to check on him that he was alright.
So he went to the address Aiba-chan gave him this morning.
He was surprised at how big the house before his eyes. Sakurai family was indeed no joke.
At this, he just realized something.
It was the first time he visited Sho’s house. After the years they had spent together (as best friends). It was Sho who had uncountable times of sleepovers. He vaguely having a memory though, that Sho had invited him over but he always refused.
And he suddenly felt bad about it.
And the thought of him not being nice enough to Sho, piercing through his skin and the feeling of guilt had taken over the anger he felt before towards Sho for being such a jerk not replying his mails or picking up his calls and also…
For making him lonely…
With a little courage he gathered, he pressed the intercom.
“Who is it?” the voice answered.
“I’m… Ohno Satoshi. Can I see Sakurai Sho-kun?”
He waited for about two minutes, and was told that Sho was going out and asked if he’d leave a message for young master.
Young master. Ohno laughed. What kind of person is Sho actually?
So he left Sakurai’s family house in disappointment.
The days passed without Sho’s presence in his life. Ohno was trying hard to live just fine.
But it’s just not fine.
It was different without Sho around. He needed Sho with him right now.
Why… why such a best friend could affect him badly. He had lost count of how many friends that come and go in his life, and he never bothered by their lack of presence or when they completely gone from his sight.
He wouldn’t care.
But Sho…
Ohno sat down on his bed after such a tiring day at work.
He took out his cell phone and looked up for Sho’s phone number on his list.
He sent a text message. Simply saying that he’d missed him a lot.
“I want you more than friend. I don’t know how to deal with my own feelings. This is just not right. It’s my decision that I won’t see you for the time being until I sort out my feelings for you and put them in the right place. Our friendship is beautiful, thus I don’t want to ruin anything. Please understand.”
He wanted Ohno more than friend. What’s the different now with Ohno’s real feelings?
But then he wanted to understand Sho. This kind of relationship, no one in this country would accept the fact that two guys were loving each other.
Let alone the whole nation, what about Sho’s family?
Seeing how well-brought Sho-kun was, there was no mistake he was from a wealthy, educated family. To have a son who dated a guy? It would only bring shame to his family, and knowing Sho-kun, Ohno knew that Sho couldn’t possibly turn against his own family just to fight for them.
But at least…
Ohno wanted to let Sho know his true feeling.
“Sho-kun, I think I feel the same way. I like you a lot, I love you a lot.”
“Just don’t. It’s… burdening.”
Burdening.
His love was a burden. He was a burden.
Sho-kun…
Sho-kun, Sho-kun, Sho-kun.
And Ohno fell asleep with his heart broken.
And he woke up just to remember that Sho was no longer here, for the time being.
For the time being… how long would it take?
Damn.
“Ohno, wake up. Hey, wake up.”
Ohno felt a warm hand touched his cheeks, stroking him gently.
When he woke up to a pair of arms circle around him tightly, pull him as close as they’re allowed, and try to make him calm as his tears flowing down uncontrollably.
“You’re not a kid anymore. Just don’t get so full of tears because you have a nightmare.”
His words were maybe wicked, but those hands never stopped stroking his back and soothing him the best they could.
“Nino…” he managed to whisper, inhaling some air to maintain his breathing.
“You alright?”
Ohno pulled away and saw Nino’s worried eyes fixed on him. He didn’t know what his face look like right now to cause Nino make such a face.
Awful, probably.
How long had it been since Sho confessed? Two years passed, if Ohno remembered correctly. But there was no sign of him to settle things between them. Ohno tried to move on, he had to live on.
And the guy in front of him right now was nothing but a perfect, ideal partner for him. He couldn’t be more grateful to heaven for sending Nino into his life.
Sho was something. Sho would last in his heart forever, buried deep down though, but Ohno would probably never able to erase him and all those sweet memories they had.
He would be sad, sometimes, when he walked down the street where he and Sho used to walk together. Or when he ate something Sho really liked. And when he sang the song he used to sing together with Sho.
Ohno, he knew he just couldn’t go on with those and avoid everything that could remind him of Sho’s presence.
Just like what people said, time will heal.
Ohno himself didn’t know since when did it become Nino’s favorite bread, Nino’s song, and just everything of Nino.
So he looked at Nino, smiling to assure him he was Ok.
“I’m Ok. You’re right, it was just a nightmare.”
“Idiot!” Nino said, “Don’t freak me out so early in the morning!”
Ohno chuckled, as he pushed Nino down against their bed and landed an innocent kiss on the other’s lips. “I’ll make it up to you, how does it sound?”
“Don’t start anything,” Nino warned, but the look on Ohno’s eyes playful now, and Nino just couldn’t help it. He just needed to make sure Ohno knew his place very well.
With a swift moment, he turned around their position that Ohno’s back was now against the bed.
“You are fully responsible for what happen down below here right now, you know that?” Nino smirked.
“I will take care of it.”
“You’d better.”
The two of them giggled and continued their business that’s need to be taken care of immediately.
END
Comments are so much ♥