no this isn't about prom...yet
Random thought but I think that those double-dosage hippies we call guidance counselors should have told me like 4 years ago at least how expensive college is so that way I wouldn't have this monstrous fear of debt hanging over my head. Everything has been so procrastinated, at times even as late as this year I didn't know if college was even an option. Each time I try to talk to my parents about costs, we all end up leaving the room frusturated, barely getting at anything. So far I know 1) I have to pay for half of it 2) 10 year loans will be taken out. If I didn't have that big scholarship I probably wouldn't even be able to go. But I love that school and intuitively I know just out of providence that I'm meant to go. But it breaks my heart when I hear my mom say,"Why couldn't you have just gone to Concord Tech?" What?! Are you kidding me? Not to offend anyone who goes there but after how hard I've worked? Setting high standards for myself so I could be in NHS? Jesus Christ why can't you be proud and perhaps glad that my grades were good enough to get the Alta Petenda scholarship? But I guess pride doesn't buy you anything. It's not like I haven't considered a 2 year school, to get out quicker of course, but I NEED a 4 year degree to get into Peace Corps, which is the sort of thing I've always wanted to do. After that, there really is not much more that I could want to do in life. I love my parents very much, but I wish that we all had better guidance on this event.
Maybe I'll go and when I graduate in four years will just disappear into Andes.