one positive thing about Facebook
I have mentioned before (perhaps not here, but definitely in person to my RL friends) what a real piece of work my only living grandmother is. Some moms think their kids can do no wrong. My grandma thinks her kids can do no right. Which explains why she once berated my father, calling him stupid etc., in front of his kids, at his 60th birthday party. While he was opening presents, no less.
My father, for some reason, gets the brunt of her hatred. She looks for reasons to hate him. One reason she came up with early on was his marriage--he picked a woman who wasn't lily-white as his bride. (Did I mention that my grandma is racist?) Then my dad (and mom) joined the LDS church, which was the final straw. My father did not talk to his parents much after that. I saw my grandparents once when I was 5 and once when I was 10. After this my grandparents divorced and I saw my grandfather every couple of years, but not my grandmother. She came to my wedding--because my father kindly offered to pay her plane ticket and lodging and hey, it was a free trip to Southern California. She came to dad's 60th birthday party--because he paid for her plane ticket and lodging and hey, it was a free trip to a resort in Southern California.
I never got a birthday card from my Grandma. We never talked on the phone. I never had a decent conversation with her, even when she visited. I never had any sort of relationship with her. After all, I was a child of "that woman" and her stupid son.
When my parents moved up north, they were suddenly near my grandmother again. Not too close, but not so far that they couldn't have her over to dinner a couple of times month, which they did. Because no matter how much his mom beats him up verbally, Dad will never stop trying to reach out to her.
A couple of years ago I got a Facebook account. I friended several family members, including my Aunt B, who lives closest to Grandma and makes sure she's all right. (Aunt B also happens to be my favorite relative on my dad's side.) What I didn't know was that Grandma was also on Facebook, and Aunt B was her friend. So then, of course, I showed up in Grandma's "friend finder" and she friended me. I waffled for several days before accepting the friend request. Grandma never, ever posted her status or commented on mine, so I figured she was one of those people who had an account but never used it.
But then, a few months ago, my mom called me on the phone. "Did you know," she asked, "that every time Grandma is over here for dinner, all she wants to talk about is you? How you do all this cool stuff and how you must have so much energy and things like that?"
I wish I'd had Facebook when I was a kid. Because then, just maybe, I would have grown up having a grandma who thought I was cool.
My father, for some reason, gets the brunt of her hatred. She looks for reasons to hate him. One reason she came up with early on was his marriage--he picked a woman who wasn't lily-white as his bride. (Did I mention that my grandma is racist?) Then my dad (and mom) joined the LDS church, which was the final straw. My father did not talk to his parents much after that. I saw my grandparents once when I was 5 and once when I was 10. After this my grandparents divorced and I saw my grandfather every couple of years, but not my grandmother. She came to my wedding--because my father kindly offered to pay her plane ticket and lodging and hey, it was a free trip to Southern California. She came to dad's 60th birthday party--because he paid for her plane ticket and lodging and hey, it was a free trip to a resort in Southern California.
I never got a birthday card from my Grandma. We never talked on the phone. I never had a decent conversation with her, even when she visited. I never had any sort of relationship with her. After all, I was a child of "that woman" and her stupid son.
When my parents moved up north, they were suddenly near my grandmother again. Not too close, but not so far that they couldn't have her over to dinner a couple of times month, which they did. Because no matter how much his mom beats him up verbally, Dad will never stop trying to reach out to her.
A couple of years ago I got a Facebook account. I friended several family members, including my Aunt B, who lives closest to Grandma and makes sure she's all right. (Aunt B also happens to be my favorite relative on my dad's side.) What I didn't know was that Grandma was also on Facebook, and Aunt B was her friend. So then, of course, I showed up in Grandma's "friend finder" and she friended me. I waffled for several days before accepting the friend request. Grandma never, ever posted her status or commented on mine, so I figured she was one of those people who had an account but never used it.
But then, a few months ago, my mom called me on the phone. "Did you know," she asked, "that every time Grandma is over here for dinner, all she wants to talk about is you? How you do all this cool stuff and how you must have so much energy and things like that?"
I wish I'd had Facebook when I was a kid. Because then, just maybe, I would have grown up having a grandma who thought I was cool.