(no subject)
Well I just finished my Milton Midterm. I pretty much bombed it. Awesome. I was shaking out of control for the majority of the test, and all the questions seemed very funny to me, and sort of caused me to giggle nervously under my breath throughout the 45 minutes of Christmas tree-ing. My near-hysteria was probably the two hours of sleep and 1600 cups of coffee.
This cycle of staying up all night cramming for an exam that I end up failing anyways because I'm completely disoriented by the time I actually take it has got to stop. So around 6:30 this morning I decided to drop 2 of my 5 classes. I'm seriously killing myself, and there's no way I can keep doing this for another three months. I spend like 6 hours a day on homework, yet I am never ever caught up. The amount of caffeine I've been pumping into my body is kind of disgusting. I never feel really normal anymore because I'm either running on no sleep and copious amounts of coffee, or I've slept for like 14 hours (this usually happens on my day off), and then I'm completely groggy and disoriented. So needless to say, this whole 5 English LIt. classes + job idea has once again proven to be total bullshit, and I'm over it. I start every semester feeling turbo-ambitious and thinking that I am capable of pulling off the kind of ridiculous shit my mom tells me I am, and usually I end up ruining my grades so badly that by the time midterms come around I'm just praying that I can pull myself up to a C average. And every semester I have the pleasure of hearing my Mom say that she "doesn't understand what is so difficult about going to school. I must be doing something wrong. I'm spending too much time working on websites and not enough time studying. I spend too much time hanging out with my boyfriend (who I fucking live with...) and watching movies. I should go to the library and study during my free time... etc. So I'm sure she's going to (once again) be livid that I'm not taking the maximum allowable number of credits, and she's going to freak out that I may not graduate 2 years ahead of schedule. Because obviously taking your time in college to figure out what will make you happy for the rest of your life = doing the Devil's work. Gaaaah. I love my Mom. But Gaaaah.
Anyhow, I'm probably still going to be unhealthy and get no sleep most nights, but now I'll be working on Travis' website, which I'm really looking forward to. I have a love/hate relationship with Travis over his website, because he expects the impossible from me and I love to bitch about it, but secretly I'm kind of excited to see if I can meet this challenge. Now I'll actually get to find out. I have class in fifteen minutes. I need to leave the bookstore. I'm so out of it I completely forgot that I bought a bagel, and now I have no time to eat it. LAME.
Sorry for the excessive amount of boring updates lately. Apparently I just see LJ as a place to get mad... about everything from my job and school to nursing homes and racism.
This cycle of staying up all night cramming for an exam that I end up failing anyways because I'm completely disoriented by the time I actually take it has got to stop. So around 6:30 this morning I decided to drop 2 of my 5 classes. I'm seriously killing myself, and there's no way I can keep doing this for another three months. I spend like 6 hours a day on homework, yet I am never ever caught up. The amount of caffeine I've been pumping into my body is kind of disgusting. I never feel really normal anymore because I'm either running on no sleep and copious amounts of coffee, or I've slept for like 14 hours (this usually happens on my day off), and then I'm completely groggy and disoriented. So needless to say, this whole 5 English LIt. classes + job idea has once again proven to be total bullshit, and I'm over it. I start every semester feeling turbo-ambitious and thinking that I am capable of pulling off the kind of ridiculous shit my mom tells me I am, and usually I end up ruining my grades so badly that by the time midterms come around I'm just praying that I can pull myself up to a C average. And every semester I have the pleasure of hearing my Mom say that she "doesn't understand what is so difficult about going to school. I must be doing something wrong. I'm spending too much time working on websites and not enough time studying. I spend too much time hanging out with my boyfriend (who I fucking live with...) and watching movies. I should go to the library and study during my free time... etc. So I'm sure she's going to (once again) be livid that I'm not taking the maximum allowable number of credits, and she's going to freak out that I may not graduate 2 years ahead of schedule. Because obviously taking your time in college to figure out what will make you happy for the rest of your life = doing the Devil's work. Gaaaah. I love my Mom. But Gaaaah.
Anyhow, I'm probably still going to be unhealthy and get no sleep most nights, but now I'll be working on Travis' website, which I'm really looking forward to. I have a love/hate relationship with Travis over his website, because he expects the impossible from me and I love to bitch about it, but secretly I'm kind of excited to see if I can meet this challenge. Now I'll actually get to find out. I have class in fifteen minutes. I need to leave the bookstore. I'm so out of it I completely forgot that I bought a bagel, and now I have no time to eat it. LAME.
Sorry for the excessive amount of boring updates lately. Apparently I just see LJ as a place to get mad... about everything from my job and school to nursing homes and racism.