(no subject)
This has nothing to do with any of you and with no one you've proabbly ever met...just felt i needed to vent. read if you want, it's just an outburst
It's terribly sad and tragic when a person needs attention so badly that they'll do anything and everything to get it including hurting and using the people that they should love the most, their own family. Even when I was younger and less mature (though still more mature than you) I could tell even then that you were not someone to be respected, and since then you've never proven yourself in any positive way, only ways that are subversive to your own reputation and, worse, to your family.
So many of us have tried so many times to help you because you are our family and we love you regardless of your actions, we don't try to help you for any self satisfaction or for the sake of notoriety among each other, it is soley for the sake of keeping others we love from getting hurt. All you seem to be able to do is charge back at us with hate. When did you forget how to love, Auntie? When did you forget what it meant to love unconditionally and to be one to help others around you just because you know it's right and because it feels good to know that you've helped. It makes me want to cry that I have an aunt that I can't talk to, and not because I've been told not to but because I can't bring myself to want to talk to someone who could be so hurtful and so tyrannical to their own family members.
In the Philippines they have almost nothing and you know that! But instead of giving to them and helping them and expecting nothing back, you give to them and expect everything and more back. Why would you do such a thing to your own family? What did they ever do to you to deserve such horrid treatment? Do you see the way they treat you back? Do they do things for you and then expect things back? NO! They simply do as you ask because they LOVE YOU. I wish I could say the same about you. How is it that you could be so willing to alienate yourself every chance you get? I'm glad you have a lot of money, but is it really worth anything when you're alone? If you have no one to share it with and no one to appreciate you because all you've ever done is hurt them, is it really worth it? Does it really make a difference if you had all the money in the world, or just enough to get by, or even less than that, if you have no one to share all of your best and worst times with? You may say you still have your husband(s) but how long do you really think that will last? The way you treat them is intolerable and any decent, and even less than decent, person would easily know that you are not worth staying with. No one should ever be treated the way that you treat them, ESPECIALLY not your family!
If you want to talk about blessings why don't you start with the great and extensive family you have! There are SO many people you are able to share your life with and to smile and cry and laugh with but how can you now? All that you have now is a group of siblings who cry and hurt as you smile and feel so great about yourself, or do you? Maybe it is that for some reason unknown to us you feel you have to compensate for something and the only way you know how is through malicious acts that only cause pain, you might as well be one of the 10 plagues of egypt the way you treat your family. Hell, I know I avoid you like the plague.
It was along time ago when we were in Hawaii together but I still, very vividly remember one thing: for one reason or another you had made me angry and I treated you very disrespectfully and you said to me "I'm your elder, you're supposed to treat me with respect!" and my only response was "how could I respect someone like you?!" Even though I apologized back then and did my best to hold my tongue and be nice, just as I have all the years since then, it seems that I was right. You're not one to be respected, how could you be? You have no respect for anyone but yourself. But the one thing I can give you is Love, I promise you that I still Love you Auntie, because we are family and that's the way it should be. But for my own sake I do not want to have a relationship with you for fear of how I may hurt others in my family, because I love them too, no more or less than I you, but they've never done anything as unforgivable as the many things you've done. But I bet if you were to change they would forgive you, if you started trying to help and only helping I'm sure they would take you right back, but that's up to you.
You know what hurts me most about all of this? That as I write this letter I feel absolutely nothing towards you. And I hate that, because you are my family and I should be able to feel SOMETHING towards you...but you have been this way for far too long and now I have blocked all feelings for you out of my heart. Though I would be willing to break that barricade in a heart beat if you proved to be worth letting back in.
Anyways...I just figured I had been silent for long enough. It won't make one bit of difference to me if you take the things I've said to heart, but I had to say something.
Love,
Ben
It's terribly sad and tragic when a person needs attention so badly that they'll do anything and everything to get it including hurting and using the people that they should love the most, their own family. Even when I was younger and less mature (though still more mature than you) I could tell even then that you were not someone to be respected, and since then you've never proven yourself in any positive way, only ways that are subversive to your own reputation and, worse, to your family.
So many of us have tried so many times to help you because you are our family and we love you regardless of your actions, we don't try to help you for any self satisfaction or for the sake of notoriety among each other, it is soley for the sake of keeping others we love from getting hurt. All you seem to be able to do is charge back at us with hate. When did you forget how to love, Auntie? When did you forget what it meant to love unconditionally and to be one to help others around you just because you know it's right and because it feels good to know that you've helped. It makes me want to cry that I have an aunt that I can't talk to, and not because I've been told not to but because I can't bring myself to want to talk to someone who could be so hurtful and so tyrannical to their own family members.
In the Philippines they have almost nothing and you know that! But instead of giving to them and helping them and expecting nothing back, you give to them and expect everything and more back. Why would you do such a thing to your own family? What did they ever do to you to deserve such horrid treatment? Do you see the way they treat you back? Do they do things for you and then expect things back? NO! They simply do as you ask because they LOVE YOU. I wish I could say the same about you. How is it that you could be so willing to alienate yourself every chance you get? I'm glad you have a lot of money, but is it really worth anything when you're alone? If you have no one to share it with and no one to appreciate you because all you've ever done is hurt them, is it really worth it? Does it really make a difference if you had all the money in the world, or just enough to get by, or even less than that, if you have no one to share all of your best and worst times with? You may say you still have your husband(s) but how long do you really think that will last? The way you treat them is intolerable and any decent, and even less than decent, person would easily know that you are not worth staying with. No one should ever be treated the way that you treat them, ESPECIALLY not your family!
If you want to talk about blessings why don't you start with the great and extensive family you have! There are SO many people you are able to share your life with and to smile and cry and laugh with but how can you now? All that you have now is a group of siblings who cry and hurt as you smile and feel so great about yourself, or do you? Maybe it is that for some reason unknown to us you feel you have to compensate for something and the only way you know how is through malicious acts that only cause pain, you might as well be one of the 10 plagues of egypt the way you treat your family. Hell, I know I avoid you like the plague.
It was along time ago when we were in Hawaii together but I still, very vividly remember one thing: for one reason or another you had made me angry and I treated you very disrespectfully and you said to me "I'm your elder, you're supposed to treat me with respect!" and my only response was "how could I respect someone like you?!" Even though I apologized back then and did my best to hold my tongue and be nice, just as I have all the years since then, it seems that I was right. You're not one to be respected, how could you be? You have no respect for anyone but yourself. But the one thing I can give you is Love, I promise you that I still Love you Auntie, because we are family and that's the way it should be. But for my own sake I do not want to have a relationship with you for fear of how I may hurt others in my family, because I love them too, no more or less than I you, but they've never done anything as unforgivable as the many things you've done. But I bet if you were to change they would forgive you, if you started trying to help and only helping I'm sure they would take you right back, but that's up to you.
You know what hurts me most about all of this? That as I write this letter I feel absolutely nothing towards you. And I hate that, because you are my family and I should be able to feel SOMETHING towards you...but you have been this way for far too long and now I have blocked all feelings for you out of my heart. Though I would be willing to break that barricade in a heart beat if you proved to be worth letting back in.
Anyways...I just figured I had been silent for long enough. It won't make one bit of difference to me if you take the things I've said to heart, but I had to say something.
Love,
Ben