The Gas Station Lady
A couple days ago I went late at night to buy cigarettes from the nearby Chevron. I'm usually there in the evening, where there's a nice Asian kid who chats me up then ruins it by telling me I should quit smoking. Grr. But this time, going so late, they had locked the doors and I had to buy cigarettes through a drawer in the wall between the attendant and myself.
On duty was an older white woman I had never seen before. I told her what I wanted and she asked for ID. I still have my Wisconsin ID and I slid it to her in the drawer along with my money. She took a look at it and said, "Wisconsin, eh? Long drive to buy cigarettes, ha-ha!" I politely laughed with her. Seeing this, she took it as her cue to go into a Wisconsin monologue.
"You hear that guy they got for the mailbox bombs? HE was from Wisconsin. Did you know him? No? Well, that's good. What kind of crazy person would do a thing like that? You wouldn't expect it out of Wisconsin, no. Salt of the earth, Wisconsin people are. Cheeseheads! Ha-ha! You got all those people, you know, the...yes! Scandinavians. And Germans. Beer and cheese! Ha-ha! Where you from? Kenosha? Oh, Happy Days, ha-ha! That's funny! I liked the Fonz. Yeah, down to earth people. What do you think of California? Ha-ha, a real switch! Well, good night!"
I didn't remind her of Dahmer.
On duty was an older white woman I had never seen before. I told her what I wanted and she asked for ID. I still have my Wisconsin ID and I slid it to her in the drawer along with my money. She took a look at it and said, "Wisconsin, eh? Long drive to buy cigarettes, ha-ha!" I politely laughed with her. Seeing this, she took it as her cue to go into a Wisconsin monologue.
"You hear that guy they got for the mailbox bombs? HE was from Wisconsin. Did you know him? No? Well, that's good. What kind of crazy person would do a thing like that? You wouldn't expect it out of Wisconsin, no. Salt of the earth, Wisconsin people are. Cheeseheads! Ha-ha! You got all those people, you know, the...yes! Scandinavians. And Germans. Beer and cheese! Ha-ha! Where you from? Kenosha? Oh, Happy Days, ha-ha! That's funny! I liked the Fonz. Yeah, down to earth people. What do you think of California? Ha-ha, a real switch! Well, good night!"
I didn't remind her of Dahmer.