there's a place on my arm where I've written her name next to mine
Man, okay, so: I just got back from yoga. I am usually a very tense, twitchy little thing, yet I have a lifetime of sort of sneering at yoga as not being hardcore enough to waste my time on. I also snickered at it for being a kind of "girl" thing, like pilates-lite classes. Because, you know, uh, it's very feminist to divide things into gender fields and then consider girl activities beneath you, right? (silly, silly me)
If it doesn't fucking hurt, I probably don't think it's a workout. My default activity is running a minimum of three miles and I first got used to gyms by being into crossfit for a few months; scattered throughout this is weight lifting and BJJ or mauy thai. I want to feel wasted, sore as hell, and drained after I work out, or I don't feel it was worth a damn.
MAN.
This was amazing. I honestly feel tons better, and a lot of my hovering stress-unhappy-stress cloud of the past few weeks has dissipated. I can feel the tension creeping in bit by bit to reclaim my shoulders, back, and engulf the whole of my tiny angry little body--but for now I feel glorious loose and relaxed and light.
And alert and totally capable of beating ass if I had to, so: great.
I've tried yoga once or twice before and always felt terribly out of place. Before class today I did as well--I walked in, toed off my sneakers, and my first instinct was to punch my boyfriend.
What? I was in a gym space--not a weight room, but a gym space--with my usual sparring partner. Actually, my first instinct was to kick him. I twitched in place instead and then got a yoga mat and feel vaguely bad about my, uh...tendencies.
Have I mentioned that we play fight/mime out fighting constantly? And anytime we're on mats and not supposed to be doing anything specific, it takes, like, two minutes before someone tackles someone and we're wrestling on the floor? Mind you, this isn't to suggest that we are at all evenly matched: we are not.
You know how sometimes two mismatched dogs are really used to each other, and one dog is a sleek, muscled specimen, a glory to the species? And the other dog is a small gamy little thing that constantly throws itself at the bigger, better dog to gnaw on its ears and make happy irritating little yip yip yip yappy sounds? And the bigger dog could easily rip the small stubby dog open and gut it like a fish, but instead they just wrestle around some, and small gamy dog chews on bigger better dog with a expression of squinty eyed bliss, and bigger dog tolerates it?
It's like that. I am a small gamy yappy dog.
But where was I?
So yeah, yoga was awesome. Maybe because the class was in a dark room, or maybe because the instructor was wonderfully calm herself (without being all mystical mumbo jumbo about it), something just clicked for me and class was GREAT.
Also, this is, like, the only physical activity I have ever done in a social setting that I am better at than magical karate boyfriend. I think this is just the magical female anatomy and my superior hip flexy parts, or something, but regardless.
It's also a lot of being strong enough to hold poses in weird positions, and if it's a strength and endurance game, my friends, I am going to be AWESOME (if I can use my core and my thighs).
I have a lifetime of being stronger than I am graceful, so getting to do something where strength helps rather than hinders is fantastic.
(Well, perhaps not a lifetime. I used to be the type of nerdyartsy that sneered at physical activity for being...not cerebral enough? But mind/body dichotomy is so ridiculous and rather Western. And you'd think I'd know better as a Batman fan, no?)
Hilariously, today was also the day I was running around to get supplies to make krishna food ("ASAFOETIDA! ASAFOETIDA! I NEED IT WHERE IS IT WHEEEEREEE GIVE IT TO ME," is what I was doing a half hour before yoga, while tearing through an Indian grocery at high speeds--most definitely not serene), so, like...
Go India? ILU, India. You are great. Culture at me harder.
Coincidently, if you have some hare-krishnas running a center near you: go there on one of their feast days. Their food is healthy and delicious and COME ON, a major tenant of their religion is feeding the hungry cruelty free food. Krishnas are GREAT. I used to live in the FL city that is one of the major hare-krishnas in the US, and they do this amazing all you can eat $3 lunch on campus during the week. God. It's wonderful.
I love everything. I think I can manage to be productive again soon.
Thanks to everyone who is patient with me, day in and day out, while I sulk and while I don't.
I'm still gonna go running later today, though.
I feel like I should note somewhere that this mauy thai class has taught me that I apparently find the stomach conditioning drill hilarious. This drill, okay, is:
1) you put your arms over your head
2) your partner punches you in the stomach for two minutes
I laugh the whole time. I don't know, guys. I just don't know. It's not like people go easy--though of course it's not full force--but, I, just...I have a strong core, and...
...it's really fun?
I mean, obviously, it's a whole different deal in a fight when you're caught off guard and you need your breath, but--
Fun.
In conclusion, variety of physical activity = AWESOME.
This entry is basically here to remind me that I should go to yoga again instead of talking myself out of it in favor of just running another couple of miles. Self: it's totally not the same thing!
DOING STUFF IS GREAT.
If it doesn't fucking hurt, I probably don't think it's a workout. My default activity is running a minimum of three miles and I first got used to gyms by being into crossfit for a few months; scattered throughout this is weight lifting and BJJ or mauy thai. I want to feel wasted, sore as hell, and drained after I work out, or I don't feel it was worth a damn.
MAN.
This was amazing. I honestly feel tons better, and a lot of my hovering stress-unhappy-stress cloud of the past few weeks has dissipated. I can feel the tension creeping in bit by bit to reclaim my shoulders, back, and engulf the whole of my tiny angry little body--but for now I feel glorious loose and relaxed and light.
And alert and totally capable of beating ass if I had to, so: great.
I've tried yoga once or twice before and always felt terribly out of place. Before class today I did as well--I walked in, toed off my sneakers, and my first instinct was to punch my boyfriend.
What? I was in a gym space--not a weight room, but a gym space--with my usual sparring partner. Actually, my first instinct was to kick him. I twitched in place instead and then got a yoga mat and feel vaguely bad about my, uh...tendencies.
Have I mentioned that we play fight/mime out fighting constantly? And anytime we're on mats and not supposed to be doing anything specific, it takes, like, two minutes before someone tackles someone and we're wrestling on the floor? Mind you, this isn't to suggest that we are at all evenly matched: we are not.
You know how sometimes two mismatched dogs are really used to each other, and one dog is a sleek, muscled specimen, a glory to the species? And the other dog is a small gamy little thing that constantly throws itself at the bigger, better dog to gnaw on its ears and make happy irritating little yip yip yip yappy sounds? And the bigger dog could easily rip the small stubby dog open and gut it like a fish, but instead they just wrestle around some, and small gamy dog chews on bigger better dog with a expression of squinty eyed bliss, and bigger dog tolerates it?
It's like that. I am a small gamy yappy dog.
But where was I?
So yeah, yoga was awesome. Maybe because the class was in a dark room, or maybe because the instructor was wonderfully calm herself (without being all mystical mumbo jumbo about it), something just clicked for me and class was GREAT.
Also, this is, like, the only physical activity I have ever done in a social setting that I am better at than magical karate boyfriend. I think this is just the magical female anatomy and my superior hip flexy parts, or something, but regardless.
It's also a lot of being strong enough to hold poses in weird positions, and if it's a strength and endurance game, my friends, I am going to be AWESOME (if I can use my core and my thighs).
I have a lifetime of being stronger than I am graceful, so getting to do something where strength helps rather than hinders is fantastic.
(Well, perhaps not a lifetime. I used to be the type of nerdyartsy that sneered at physical activity for being...not cerebral enough? But mind/body dichotomy is so ridiculous and rather Western. And you'd think I'd know better as a Batman fan, no?)
Hilariously, today was also the day I was running around to get supplies to make krishna food ("ASAFOETIDA! ASAFOETIDA! I NEED IT WHERE IS IT WHEEEEREEE GIVE IT TO ME," is what I was doing a half hour before yoga, while tearing through an Indian grocery at high speeds--most definitely not serene), so, like...
Go India? ILU, India. You are great. Culture at me harder.
Coincidently, if you have some hare-krishnas running a center near you: go there on one of their feast days. Their food is healthy and delicious and COME ON, a major tenant of their religion is feeding the hungry cruelty free food. Krishnas are GREAT. I used to live in the FL city that is one of the major hare-krishnas in the US, and they do this amazing all you can eat $3 lunch on campus during the week. God. It's wonderful.
I love everything. I think I can manage to be productive again soon.
Thanks to everyone who is patient with me, day in and day out, while I sulk and while I don't.
I'm still gonna go running later today, though.
I feel like I should note somewhere that this mauy thai class has taught me that I apparently find the stomach conditioning drill hilarious. This drill, okay, is:
1) you put your arms over your head
2) your partner punches you in the stomach for two minutes
I laugh the whole time. I don't know, guys. I just don't know. It's not like people go easy--though of course it's not full force--but, I, just...I have a strong core, and...
...it's really fun?
I mean, obviously, it's a whole different deal in a fight when you're caught off guard and you need your breath, but--
Fun.
In conclusion, variety of physical activity = AWESOME.
This entry is basically here to remind me that I should go to yoga again instead of talking myself out of it in favor of just running another couple of miles. Self: it's totally not the same thing!
DOING STUFF IS GREAT.