Seriously thinking about going back on Zoloft.

[zoloft]

I hate that I'm never motivated to do anything until after 5pm (wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have a day job). I hate having to be in bed by 10pm, or be miserable the next day. I hate that even though I've had 2 raises in the last year, I still make a dollar less an hour than the dishwashers at the restaurant where Squeezums works. I hate that people are making me hate my job. I hate that despite the fact that Squeezums & I have 3 jobs between us (not counting his job he doesn't get paid for), we still barely make ends meet. I hate the fact that my Squeezypet works so much, I never see him. I hate that I already want another vacation. I hate that we busted our ass all day at work today to take over 20 people out on 3 rides, & we made a whopping $10 in tips, total. I hate that I didn't even get my $2.50 in tip money. I hate that I care about $2.50. I hate that we've got an account with a bank which does every sneaky, underhanded, how-can-this-be-legal thing they can think of to rape us of money we don't have, yet nobody can explain to me why we don't just bank with somebody else. I hate that we live in this fabulous house when I can barely be bothered to unpack, much less clean. I hate that Squeezums & I have this great idea for a new business, but I feel so friggin overwhelmed I'm moving at a snail's pace to get the thing off the ground. I hate that I rarely see most of my friends. I hate that I'm not better at keeping in touch with people. I hate the fact that I haven't talked to my aunt & uncle since shortly after my mom died (3 years in December), & they probably think I'm a complete waste of skin. I hate that my brother is struggling, & I can't do anything to help, except maybe get his cat spayed, which I've been meaning to do for about a year now but just haven't gotten around to it.

I'm so tired of living in my head.