FIC: Dream Boy (Kirk/Spock) Part 1
Title: Dream Boy
Rating: R/NC-17
Word Count: 9,800
Pairings: Kirk/Spock. There are some moments between Gary Mitchell/Kirk, as well as some minor moments of flirtation between Kirk/Pike because that's just how I see their canon relationship. Kirk just flirts with everyone.
Warning: Underage (Kirk is 17, Spock is a few years older)
Summary: A prequel to The Perfect Man. Spock is a cadet on his way to becoming a professor, Jim is a troublesome teen sent to live with Captain Christopher Pike for the summer, this is the story of how they meet and fall for each other. Miscommunications abound.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or it's characters, nor do I claim to.
Author's Notes:
1) The "NOW" sections are in Spock's point of view, the "THEN" sections are from Kirk's perspective. Other than switching between those two times it's all chronological. There is significantly more Kirk perspective than Spock perspective.
2) There are a few minor ( hopefully ignorable) continuity errors between this and The Perfect Man, this story just worked better that way.
3) You don't need to be familiar with The Perfect Man to read this. Like really. You don't. I cringed a lot re-reading it.
4) This is written for
biomath. I am so sorry this is over a year late. Hopefully the fact the I finally delivered and also wrote close to 10,000 words when I only promised 2,000 makes up for it at least a little bit *hides in shame.*
LINK TO PART TWO (because stupid word limit)
NOW
When Spock awoke, it took him a moment to orient himself. The high ceiling above him was not the ceiling of Starfleet Academy housing. The space next to him was still warm. Jim could not have gone far.
Spock pushed the blankets off of himself and his eyes caught on the mark near his hipbone that Jim had left with his mouth. Flushing to the tips of his ears from the memories of the night before, Spock brushed his fingers over the mark. Jim had promised him.
Spock found his clothes from the day before scattered on the floor. He dressed himself slowly, the worn out feel of the day-old outfit distasteful to him. He was glad to have spent the night with Jim, but wished that he could have woken up in his own rooms.
Spock went to Jim’s window and climbed out onto the roof.
Spock found Jim sitting there, watching as the sunrise lit up the city. Jim’s back was to Spock, his arms wrapped around bent legs, chin resting on his knees. Spock took a seat beside Jim. Jim turned his head so his cheek was flat against his knees.
“I don’t think I can do this.”
THEN
Jim let out a long breath and leaned back against the wall of the shuttle station. Captain Christopher Pike, was late. The most recent in the long list of people his mother had guilted into looking after Jim, Pike wasn’t close to being the latest. Jim would give him another two hours, if only because finding a place to stay in a strange new city, plus being underage was a bitch. He was almost eighteen, he shouldn’t have to put up with this crap.
Jim straightened up slightly. One of the nicest cars he’d seen in a long time pulled up to the curb. The tinted window was rolled down, revealing an attractive man with dark hair going silver at the temples. He was also wearing a black Starfleet uniform. This had to be Christopher Pike.
“Get in, kid,” the Pike said, popping the trunk.
“Do you have candy? Because I was told never to get in the cars of strange men with candy.”
The Pike’s eyes crinkled up at the edges as he smirked up at Jim. “But you like candy, don’t you, Jim?”
“Yeah, I like it a lot.”
Pike chuckled. Jim slung his duffle and backpack into the trunk.
Jim slid into the front seat. “Where we headed, Captain?”
“Starfleet Academy. It’s the first day of the summer program for high school students.”
“That’s nice.” Jim said.
“Got you signed up for a couple of classes from your transcripts. As long as you don’t start any trouble you should do just fine.”
Jim leaned his forehead against the window and watched the fog from his breath quickly evaporate in the summer heat.
-----
Jim woke up with a start, he rolled to look at his clock. Seven in the morning. He didn’t have to be up for classes for another two hours. Just as he was closing his eyes again, the doorbell rang.
Jim groaned. It was probably that Amanda Grayson woman. She was conducting research of some sort, of which Pike was somewhat involved. She was really a nice woman, but she had a habit of coming over very early in the morning when Pike was still out on his morning jog, forcing Jim to answer the door. This was probably the third time this had happened.
Jim dragged himself out of bed and pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. Amanda Grayson didn’t need to know he slept in poka-dot boxers.
But when he flung open the door it was a stunningly attractive young man--a Vulcan he surmised from his looks--in a Starfleet Uniform. He was carrying a pile of PADDs and looked rather put out for someone who belong to race who claimed to have complete control over their emotions.
“You aren’t Amanda Grayson,” Jim said, not quite awake yet.
The Vulcan raised one eyebrow at him. “Your powers of observation are quite astute.”
Jim pointed a finger at him. “Hey now, you aren’t allowed to make fun of me. I just woke up a minute ago. From your doorbell ringing, I might add. You dropping those off for Pike?”
“I was not, as you claimed, making fun of you, I was merely stating a fact. And yes these are for Pike.”
Jim took the PADDs.
“I apologize for waking you.”
“You’re not a bad sight to wake up to, so don’t worry about it.” Jim winked at him and closed the door on a mildly scandalized Vulcan.
NOW
I don’t think I can do this.
Spock had heard words with a similar sentiment from all four of his previous sexual partners. Usually these words were uttered when they came to the realization that what Spock wanted from a relationship wasn’t something they could give. The level of commitment he needed-- it wasn’t the type of relationship that was suited to most people.
And Spock shouldn’t be surprised. Jim was the type he usually avoided. Someone with half-formed goals, a shameless flirt. He had heard the talk. He had had his own concerns that Jim was too capricious in his affections, too young.
But it wasn’t that simple. Spock had seen Jim’s fierce intelligence, his intensity and drive to follow through to the best of his abilities once he had committed to something. He had seen how the constant stream of innuendo was a protective shield as much as it was a way of communication.
And Jim had promised. Even though Spock had worried that he would be asking too much of Jim too quickly, which was the main reason why he had initially turned Jim down, Jim had assured Spock that he could handle it. He had looked Spock in the eyes, said he understood what Spock wanted and that he would be willing to give it to him.
Spock turn to look at Jim. Jim who was determinedly gazing off the roof, into the distance.
“Explain and clarify, please.”
THEN
The stone walls echoed with the chatter of the students as they spilled out of the classroom into the halls of Starfleet Academy. Lost in thought about the lesson Jim let himself be pushed along with the flow of the crowd. He had forgotten how good it felt to have a teacher who actually took him seriously. To be in a classroom full of people just as engaged and interested as him.
Oh wait, he hadn’t forgotten, it had never happened before.
A hand on his shoulder, startled him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see brown eyes set in a face framed by a mass of curls. Riley, a girl from his class.
“Hey, Jim. Coming to the bonfire Friday?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” He leveled a smile he knew was charming at her, she blushed, nodded, and scurried back to her friends.
Gary walked up behind him. “You going to that thing?”
Jim had gravitated to Gary rather quickly. Gary was a smart, attractive kid raised on an expensive exclusive private school education, but was rough around the edges in a way that was extremely familiar to Jim.
“Why not? Know you are.”
“I’m not one to pass up a party. You however have only been to one or two since classes started.”
“I’m trying this new thing, where I actually try in school.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to limit your partying. You’re only in two classes. Just study during the day.”
“I try. But people are always dropping by the house, talking at me for hours. Stupid Pike and his popularity and his tendency not to be around whenever anyone wants to see him.”
Gary ran his hand through his hair, suddenly strangely hesitant. “You could always come up to my dorm room, study there. I’ve got a single, so there wouldn’t be anyone to bug you.”
“Except you, you mean.”
“Shut up,” Gary grinned and playfully pushed him. Jim just laughed.
-----
Jim was scrambling himself some eggs this time when the doorbell rang. He opened it to find the same Vulcan as the day before, holding a different stack of PADDs.
“I remain not Amanda Grayson.”
Jim grinned at him. “Who are you then?”
“I am Spock.”
Jim took the PADDs from him. “Just Spock, no rank?”
“I am a cadet, I am currently in training to become a professor.”
“Nice. I’m Jim, by the way. Jim Kirk.”
“It is nice to meet you, Jim Kirk.”
Jim smiled, a little bit charmed. “Likewise.”
“What are you studying Jim?”
“Uhh, my mom dropped me here for the summer because she thought Pike would whip me into shape. I think she’s hoping it’ll be the first summer since I was 12 that I don’t get arrested. Pike enrolled me in a couple of classes for high school students in pursuit of the of same goal.”
Spock looked at Jim with an expression he couldn’t read.
“Sorry. Too honest for the first meeting?”
“This is our second meeting. And in my opinion, honesty is always a positive quality to posses.”
“Oh, okay.” Jim willed himself not to stare at the guy’s mouth.
“Until next time, Jim.”
“Yeah.”
Jim exhaled. A party would be good, he needed to get in some good old fashioned flirting and possibly hooking up with someone who might actually return the interest.
-----
Pike looked up as Jim walked through the room towards the door, in worn jeans, that managed to hang low on his hips but still hug his ass paired with a t-short that stretched just right over his shoulders. It had gotten late, dark, and cool outside, so he grabbed his jacket on his way out.
“Have fun, Jim. Behave yourself,” Pike called after him.
“When do I not?” He grinned at Pike’s skeptical raised brow and exited.
-----
Jim winked at the cadet who handed him a shot. He downed it neatly in one swallow, as the cadet watched him with interest. He closed his eyes briefly as he felt the alcohol settle into his system; a warm pleasant buzz that matched nicely with the low pulse of music and the way the flames from the bonfire danced, throwing shadows over everyone.
Just as the cadet leaned into Jim, Jim felt an arm being slung over his shoulder and he was yanked deeper into the crowd. He tilted his head back to rest on the arm around his shoulders. Gary Mitchell grinned down at him.
“Didn’t think you’d make it, Jimmy.”
“If you think I’d miss a somewhat illegal party on the edge of Starfleet property, then you don’t know me very well.”
“We should fix that.”
It wasn’t a very good line, but Jim liked Gary. He pressed a little closer against Gary. Jim grinned up at him when his eyes flicked over Jim’s face, trying to read him. Gary smiled hesitantly and opened his mouth to speak.
“Hi guys!” It was Riley, impressively balancing more than a couple beers in her arms.
The two boys abruptly turned slightly away from each other. Not entirely deterred, Gary’s arm dropped down from around Jim’s shoulders to around his waist, hand settled just inside his jacket, at his hip. Jim licked his lips.
Riley handed them both beers. “Thanks,” said Jim, popping it open.
“Aren’t you underage? Where did you get these?” Gary asked.
“Some cadet gave them to me. He must have thought I was cute.” She shrugged and grinned, taking a hearty swig of her beer. “I was lucky. I don’t really have any connections here and I didn’t want to be sober at this crazy thing,” she gestured towards the center of the gathering, where people were already hollering and dancing around the bonfire.
“I hear you,” Jim agreed.
“You guys have any alcohol?” she asked.
“I’m living with Captain Motherfucking Pike, I don’t have anything. When I got here though a cadet gave me a shot of something really strong. They also must have thought I was cute.”
Riley and Jim clinked their beers together in solidarity.
“Aww poor Gary. No one wanted to get him drunk,” Riley teased.
“Hey,” said Gary, “I’m hanging out with not one but two hot underaged pieces of ass that other people wanted to get drunk and take advantage of. Don’t feel sorry for me, I’ve got both of you to myself.”
“You make a good point,” Jim said. Riley nodded, laughing.
They turned as a few booms went off, showering the sky with multi-colored sparks. “Fireworks!” Riley squealed. She grabbed the two boys by their arms, tugging them towards the spectacle.
-----
A few weeks studying instead of cutting loose and looking for trouble and Jim’s tolerance was shot. Either that or he just wasn’t familiar with the Starfleet cadets’ brands of choice. It had only been a couple of hours and not that many drinks. But when Jim stood still everything tilted around him.
Gary was off getting more drinks or possibly some kind of drug. Jim couldn’t remember. Couldn’t remember how long he had been gone. Riley clung to his side. Jim shifted his weight, using her for balance as much as he was using him.
“Ooh, that last drink was strong,” she said.
Jim nodded.
“Was the fire always purple?”
“No, I think that’s new,” Jim said. Or maybe it had been like that for hours. Fuck, what was time?
A tall cadet sauntered over to them. “This party is getting old. I’m having a thing in my room. You guys should come. It’s over past the South campus.”
“Oh, I don’t really know the campus, that well,” Riley said.
The cadet’s smile suddenly got predatory. “Oh, are you summer program kids?”
They nodded stupidly, Jim thought. “Oh, then you should definitely come,” the cadet insisted.
“No thanks,” said Riley.
“No, nope, can’t,” Jim said, on the same page, both teenagers getting the creepy vibes even through their drunk haze.
“Aww, come on,” the cadet insisted. “It’ll be fun. Other people are already there. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know the campus, I’ll walk you there.”
“Oh, but our friend--” started Riley.
“--is over there,” Jim finished for her, sensing she was wavering.
“Oh good. You see Gary?” Riley asked.
“Yup,” Jim lied, nodding in a vague direction.
“Oh good, Gary.” Riley said.
“Yeah, let’s go over there. To him,” Jim said, starting to tug Riley along, stumbling slightly.
“You can bring your friend too,” the cadet said, starting to following them.
“Oh no, he...hates parties,” Jim finished awkwardly, dragging them into the crowd.
“I don’t see Gary,” said Riley.
“No, I lied.”
She laughed, making them trip slightly. “Oh good.”
“Come on,” Jim said, leading them away from the party, “let’s be drunk and fuckable somewhere away from creeps.”
Riley nodded in agreement.
-----
Jim and Riley laid on their backs on a stretch of grass under a statue of some famous woman who had had great achievements. They had drunkenly stumbled along until they could no longer hear the party. Riley hadn’t wanted to face her floor monitor this drunk and Jim wasn’t sober to recognize which of the nearly identical houses at the edge of the campus belong to Pike so they had collapsed on the grass instead, drunkenly discussing which components made up the most appealing starships and why.
Sharp, quick footsteps suddenly approached. They both got quiet and tried to project being not drunk without getting up or sprawling less. The footsteps paused. Jim looked up.
“Hey Spock!” Perfect. Smart, studious, professional Spock was here and Jim was wasted. What if he reported them?
“Jim,” Spock said slowly.
Jim couldn’t read him at all. He propped himself up on his elbows. For some reason he decided starting a conversation would help. “So what are you doing out here so late?”
“I could ask the same of you and your--.”
“If you were going to finish that sentience with girlfriend, you’d be wrong,” said Riley.
“Indeed?”
“Boys are for friendships, just girls are for girlfriending...That’s not a verb.”
“It is not,” Spock agreed.
“It is, however, a limited worldview,” Jim said.
“You girlfriend--excuse me--boyfriend the girls and the boys?” Riley asked.
“And everyone else too.”
“That’s too many people,” Riley said, laughing.
“No. You are wrong. She is wrong,” Jim said turning to Spock, who was starting to look a little amused, but probably Jim was just wasted and projecting. “She is wrong about so many things. Aesthetics of a starship are just as important as functionality!”
“This again! They are minimally important!”
“Spock, you seem intelligent, back me up!”
“I am gratified that you think so.”
“Jokes!” Proclaimed Jim, turning to Riley, “you noticed that too, yeah?”
“Yeah, for sure. But he is wrong,” Riley told Spock. “Tell him he’s wrong.”
“Both of your arguments have merit.”
“No! You have to choose,” Riley said.
“Yes! Chose! Tell her she’s wrong,” Jim said.
“Most academy buildings are closed. You should both be in your rooms,” Spock said.
“Mine is right there,” Riley pointed to the building across the path from them. “It’s too far.”
“I barely know which house is Pike’s when I’m sober,” Jim said.
“I can take you,” Spock said.
“Oh, he’s nice.” Riley said, struggling to get up. Jim followed.
Jim waved cheerfully at Riley as she crossed to her building.
“Bye! That was fun! Let’s do it again!” She called.
“Yes!” Jim agreed.
“You know I’m right though,” Jim said bumping companionably into Spock.
“About the merits of dating any person regardless of gender or that you and her should attend another party together?” Spock asked.
“No! That the aesthetics of a starship match functionality in importance.”
“Ah. An interesting argument. In construction a large focus is often put on aesthetics, although many argue that it is the vanity of Starfleet and the Federation rather than a tactically important feature as you seem to be arguing it is.”
“It may have started as a vanity thing, maybe,” Jim said. “But now it’s brand. We’re recognized throughout for having pretty ships. Not just pretty though! Sleek and impressive and intimidating without being dark and spiky. And pride and recognizability--is that a word?”
“Yes.”
“And who wants to live in an ugly ship for years? Who wants to be represented by that? If our ships weren’t attractive we’d have far less recruits for Starfleet.”
“I do not believe that the aesthetics of a starship match functionality in importance.”
“Spock, no! How you can you even say that to me?!” Jim clutched at his heart in betrayal.
“However,” Spock said, “You do make a unique argument that has a lot of merit. Aesthetic do have an important place in the construction of Starships, however functionally still outweighs that importance.”
“I guess I can live with that.” Jim smiled widely up at Spock.
NOW
Jim looked up at Spock with those shockingly blue eyes. “What exactly do you need to be explained or clarified about me realizing I don’t want you.”
Spock carefully kept his expression neutral “I understand.”
“Good.” The word was spat out. Spock couldn’t entirely recognize the nuances in Jim’s expression in that moment, but he could detect disgust.
Spock stood up fast and left the roof, not caring about the impression he left and more about getting away from Jim and his the disgust in his gaze.
Spock had opened up to Jim--the words whispered into skin, the emotions he had let slip through--and Jim was not even interested in him. He had used him.
THEN
Jim was shaken awake. He opened his eyes to see Chris Pike decked out in workout gear.
“What? No. No classes today.”
Jim pulled his sheet over his head only to have it yanked away.
“Nooo. Get someone else to be your terrible early morning jogging buddy.”
Pike leaned over him, face deadly serious. “James Kirk. Explain to me why you smell like alcohol and why one of my best and most promising students and the son of a current research partner is sleeping downstairs on my couch.”
“The first part is because party last night. I didn’t do anything bad though! Or get caught! The second part is...Who? What are you talking about?”
“Spock. Cadet Spock. What did you do?”
“He’s Amanda Grayson’s son?”
Pike frowned at him. “That is not what I was hoping you would get from that. Do I need to do damage control? What did drunk irresponsible Jim do to Spock and Why. Is. He. Here.”
“Oh uh, I ran into him after the party and we talked about starship construction. And I couldn’t remember where you lived so he walked me here. I didn’t know he stayed. Or maybe I did, I honestly can’t remember.”
Pike just stared at Jim. “Your intelligence is off the charts, you’ve been here for over two weeks and you couldn’t remember where I live?”
“If you want me to remember where you live, get a house that isn’t identical to all the other ones next to it. I didn’t want to accidentally go in the wrong one. You’re the one who said I shouldn’t get arrested. I was merely trying to honor that.”
Pike crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “Go back to sleep.”
“Gladly.”
Pike left grumbling to himself. For someone who exercised so much he sure was carrying around a lot of stress, Jim thought.
When he finally woke up for the second time, he walked downstairs to see Spock sitting cross-legged on the floor, reading a PADD.
“Hey, thanks for walking for home last night.”
“It was not a problem. I fear that otherwise you and your friend would spent the night on the grass.”
“Yeah, I think we might’ve. You totally saved us. Oh and sorry for anything I said or did. I drank more than I should’ve. Wasn’t expecting the drinks to be that strong.”
Spock nodded. “Cadets often add extra substances to strengthen their drinks. And do not worry. I found your conversation intriguing, despite your level of inebriation.”
“Ach.” Jim made a face and went to get some coffee before returning. Spock was still in the house, presumably for no reason other than Jim.
“From what I gathered you are interested in construction and engineering.”
“It’s a strong interest, yeah. But if I were to actually attend Starfleet, I’d probably choose the command track.”
“I notice your verb choice. Most of those in the summer program plan on entering Starfleet, yet you are unsure? Do you have other potential plans as well?”
“Umm well, no. There was never really a plan, beyond not getting boxed in by other people’s expectations.”
Spock nodded, as if this made sense to him.
“But I’m mostly in this program to keep me out of trouble. But I’m actually enjoying it a lot. So we’ll see... Do you play 3D chess?”
“I do indeed.”
“Great!” Jim was glad to have something to do, to keep the conversation from getting too deep.
Spock left after he had won two games and Jim had won one. They had all been really close. It had been fun. Jim groaned. Spock was probably way off limits.
Jim checked his messages to find that Gary was wondering where he had gone last night and also that he wanted help on the homework. Jim sent him a quick message and headed off to his rooms.
NOW
The research labs had finally closed for the night, so Spock was forced to go home. When he entered his rooms, he froze--listening. He could not yet identify it, but something was out of place.
Spock crept through his front room, looking for the threat.
Jim Kirk was sprawled out on his couch, sleeping. Spock immediately relaxed. Spock considered what it would be like to run his hand through Jim’s soft hair, to watch him stir sleepily. He turned on the lights instead.
Jim blinked awake. “Hey, Spock.” His voice was soft, sleepy.
“Do you get intoxicated and break into my rooms? I could report you to the authorities for illegal consummation of alcohol on StarFleet premises, not to mention breaking and entering.”
Jim’s soft expression gave way to one of anguish. He rolled up into a sitting position and dropped his face into his hands. Spock didn’t quite feel the vindication he had hoped for.
“Please don’t report me, I’m sorry. I was being a dumbass. I just wanted to talk to you and I thought you were ignoring me. So then I...yeah and you weren’t even here and your couch looked so comfortable. I didn’t mean to be here when you get back. I’m sorry. Please don’t report me. I can’t afford that with my record. Agh I promised myself I wasn’t going to be stupid.” All of this Jim muttered into his hands.
“What reason could you have had for wanted to speak to me?”
Jim looked up at him. “I just wanted to know something. I was on my way to pretty wasted, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense.”
Part of Spock appreciated the non-answer he was not sure he wanted to know the truth. “If you do not wish for me to alert the authorities, now would be a good time for you to vacate my rooms.”
Jim stood up. ‘I--I really enjoyed the time we spent together. I’m sorry that--”
“Get. Out.” Jim’s eyes widened at the barely controlled fury in his voice. He tripped over his own feet in his hurry to leave.
Spock sank down into his couch. If Jim truly felt the way he had said he had when he rejected Spock then he would have no logical reason for wanting to see him now, even heavily intoxicated. Most likely things would have been easier for Spock had he not developed an attachment to an emotionally confused teenaged human boy.
THEN
Jim was lying flat on his stomach on the floor in Gary’s room, looking over the assigned work from their xenobiology course. Gary was lying on the floor across from him.
Normally Jim would take advantage of the Gary was sneaking glances him, or more specifically--his ass. But he wasn’t sure what he wanted from Gary and he was still hoping Spock was a possibility.
Gary was cool though and he might genuinely like Jim though. He got a shy look in his eyes when Jim leaned into his personal space. That would make it nicer than a lot of the quick hookups Jim had had in the past.
Just as Gary began to inch further in Jim’s space, Jim’s comm chimed. It was a message from Pike telling Jim that dinner would be soon. Saved.
“Do you really have to go?” Gary asked, looking up at him with puppy eyes.
“Yeah, sorry. Dinner with the Captain, you know. We’ll hang again soon though.”
“Yeah, I hope so.”
“We will.” Jim shot him a charming smile and Gary grinned back.
-----
The table was set for two and was laid out with pasta and salad.
“Aww, Chris did you make dinner just for me? You told your students and admirers not to come so you could have time alone with just me, didn’t you?” Jim waggled his eyebrows in a way that made Pike pull his patented ‘concerned yet amused’ look. Jim had practiced in the mirror but he still wasn’t sure how the guy made his face do that.
“Sit down, Jim.”
“Yes, sir.” Jim pulled out the chair adjacent to Pike’s at the head of the table.
“Now, Jim,” began Pike, serving up Jim a hearty helping of spaghetti and meatballs, “You’re enrolled in two of the longer and most rigorous courses that are offered to summer students and it’s still very early on but--”
“If this is about that party, it was one time and I’ve turned in all my coursework and--”
“Don’t talk with food in your mouth.”
“My hand is in front of my mouth, you can’t even see anything.”
Pike gave him an unimpressed look. “Sometimes I don’t even know why I bother with you.”
“It’s my natural charm.”
“Something like that.”
They chewed in silence for a while because curiosity finally got the better of Jim.
“What were you going to yell at me about?”
Pike sighed. “I wasn’t going to yell at you about anything. You’ve been putting forward quite an impressive effort so far. I wanted to talk to you because both of your teachers were shocked and surprised to learn that you were the only summer student who hasn’t marked an interest in Starfleet. And like I said it’s still early but from what you’ve shown so far they’re both predicting that you’ll be near the top of both classes.”
“And these classes are known are for being super hard.”
“Right, so you can see where I’m going with this.”
“You want me to think about my future and my goals and all that I can achieve,” Jim gestured dramatically with his fork.
“Precisely,” Pike grinned like a shark. “You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it. Joing Starfleet, going out into the black. Do you have any life plans, Jim?”
“Not especially. I’ve thought about being a mechanic of some kind.”
“The Federation is a peacekeeping organization. It’s important. Plus you’d be exploring new worlds, making new discoveries, you can’t tell me that doesn’t appealing to you. Can you honestly tell me that you’d prefer being a mechanic? That’s nowhere near being challenging or interesting enough for someone like you. In Starfleet you could be a officer in four years, have your own ship in eight. Would you really be satisfied with the life of a mechanic?”
“I’d have a higher chance of surviving passed thirty.”
Pike leveled him with a considering look. “Your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved eight hundred lives, including your mother's and yours. I dare you to do better.”
Jim sat back in his chair. “Wow. This just got really heavy for a spaghetti dinner.”
Pike gave him a wry grin. “For the record I considered steak for a while.”
“Yeah, that’s--yeah. Can I be excused?”
“Of course.” Pike looked like he was about to say something else, but he just took a bite of pasta instead.
Jim went up the stairs to his room, but he was struck by a sudden wave of claustrophobia. This wasn’t his real room, wasn’t his real home. He opened the window to his room and look out at the wide, flat expanse of roof. That would work.
Jim lay back on the roof looking up at the stars. Could he really go up there, leave everything behind. Not that he had anything to leave behind besides vague ideas of a life and future here on Earth, far away from everything Starfleet. His brother was already somewhere out there and his mom was up there every chance she got.
His dad had given his life for Starfleet, for the federation and was up there too, in a way. Stardust and a tragic legacy that shadowed the remaining three Kirks, was all that was left of George Kirk.
So it wasn’t like Jim would be leaving his family behind, if anything he would be getting closer to them.
Jim would be good at it. He knew he would. But it was everything he had always sworn he would never be a part of.
The window behind him creaked. He looked back, it was Spock.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
“I am working on an important project that will define my future at Starfleet, I was seeking counsel from Captain Pike.”
“I meant on the roof.”
“My mother enjoys both viewing Terran entertainment vids and forcing me to view them with her. The ones she enjoys the most, are considered quite melodramatic in nature. The characters regularly commit quite illogical actions. One of which involved no less than four suicides by falling; purportedly all in the name of love. Ever since viewing that particular vid, I must admit to feeling a large amount of concern for any solitary person located on a roof.”
Jim laughed. “I don’t think you need to be concerned until someone is actually standing at the ledge.”
“Ah, I will remember that. Now that I have ascertained your safety, I will continue my conference with Captain Pike.”
“Hey, wait. Why did you decide to leave Vulcan?” Jim asked. “Sorry if that’s too personal. Just--just thinking about the future.”
Spock climbed through the window, much more gracefully than Jim had managed. He sat beside Jim, who was still laying on his back, and elegantly pretzeled his legs beneath himself.
“You are considering Starfleet?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“I wished to work at a place where I would be challenged, where I could learn, make discoveries, and do important scientific work.”
“Makes sense.”
“Starfleet was not my first choice.”
“No?”
“When I applied here, I never expected that I would attend. I merely applied as it is logical to cultivate multiple options and I was not sure of acceptance into my first choice.”
“Did your other choice not accept you then? Because if they didn’t they are way crazy. I’ve seen your work, and the things you’re doing are really amazing.”
“No, I was accepted. I merely came to realize that Starfleet was the only true option for me.”
“Why?”
Spock looked down from the night sky and met Jim’s eyes. “It is the only place where I would be given respect and the freedom to grow into myself and my ideas. Without that all my other goals would have been moot.”
Jim smiled at Spock. “Well then I’m glad you chose Starfleet then. You deserve to be happy Spock.”
“I do not believe I said anything about happiness.”
“No? My mistake.”
“The decision rests on you, however, I can not think of any other institution besides Starfleet better suited to your talents and interests.”
Jim sat up and carefully reached out and put his hand on Spock’s shoulder. “Thanks, Spock.”
Spock nodded once. Jim slowly withdrew his hand.
“Have you really read my work?”
“Yeah, Pike just leaves it lying around. You might want to talk to him about that if you don’t want jealous cadets stealing it.”
“It is encrypted. Captain Pike leaves it unlocked?”
Jim ducked his head, embarrassed at being caught. “Oh yeah. I forgot about the encryption. I uh, may have hacked it.”
“You hacked it.” Jim couldn’t read Spock at all.
“Sorry. I was curious. I didn’t steal anything or mess with it all, promise.”
“Do not worry yourself. I am merely impressed that you managed to hack it. And you understood all the concepts in my paper?”
“I had to work through some of them but you explained it all pretty well. And hacking is kind of my unofficial talent.”
“I am beginning to understand why your mother and Captain Pike may have been worried about you being arrested.”
Jim laughs. “Yeah. The ways that I entertain myself aren’t always appreciated by the authorities.”
“No, I don’t suppose that they would be.”
Something about the way that Spock was looking at him was making Jim feel warm all over. If Spock were anyone else, Jim would be flirting. But he had no idea what Spock’s boundaries were and didn’t want to upset him. He couldn’t just follow his normal method of getting into his personal space, leaning against his side, touching his shoulder or arm as they talked, anything he could get.
Jim involuntarily licked his lips and felt himself flush as Spock’s eyes tracked the movement.
“I’m hungry. I mean I never finished dinner and my pasta’s still there. So I’m gonna go. Do that.” Jim was impressed with how smooth he always managed to be around really good looking, immaculately put together, older, soon to be professor, cadets.
“I should get back to my meeting with Pike as well. He should be done reading through the changes I have made to the draft by now.”
“Great.”
Spock exited through the window before Jim. Jim took the opportunity to check out his ass. Mmm, yes. That was exactly the kind of ass that Jim would love to get his hands...and mouth on. And those thighs. Spock was lean but he still looked like he’d have an effortless kind of strength. Like he’d find it really easy to push Jim around to exactly where he wanted him, be able to pin Jim down and cage him with his body and just make him take it.
Jim stumbled climbing through the window and Spock caught him. He steadied Jim, once hand at his hip and one higher up, against his ribs. And then he just left his hands there. They were warm against his skin, through his thin t-shirt.
Jim forced himself to meet Spock’s eyes. They were warm and dark.
Spock let out a breath and started to let go of Jim. Jim wasn’t having any of that. He wanted more of Spock’s hands on him, not less. He got a hand around the back of Spock’s neck and leaned in.
Just as their lips brushed, Spock gently pushed Jim back by the shoulders. He left the room abruptly without saying a word.
“Fuck.”
Jim’s stomach grumbled at him and he went downstairs in search of the pasta. He really was hungry. He found Pike in the kitchen, wrapping up their leftovers.
“Hey, Jim. Sorry if I got a little intense earlier. I just really need you to think seriously about this and it’s so hard to tell what’s getting through to you.”
Jim shrugged and grabbed the pasta from him and began to make himself a plate. “No worries.”
“So. Any thoughts?”
“Yeah. You said four years?”
Pike nodded, wary.
“I’ll do it in three.”
Pike shook his head and grinned. “Sure you will, kid.”
“Oh, where’d Spock go?”
“He left right after talking to you.”
Jim twirled spaghetti around a fork. “Huh.”
“Should I be worried?”
“Nope.”
He grabbed his plate and left.
Huh. Spock just had left right away. There was no way Jim had been misreading those signals. Spock wanted him. He was just running because of some reason.
Jim considered it. He was just a summer student, Spock was older, a cadet soon to be professor he was probably looking for someone more serious and stable. But now that Jim was going to actually be around and join Starfleet, and yes that was something he was going to commit himself to, there wasn’t really anywhere else that he belonged as much as here, he could maybe be that sort of person.
Not that he had any real sort of idea on how to become that type of person. But for Spock he could try. And Jim was reasonably sure that he probably wasn’t supposed to feel this strongly for another person yet. But whatever, maybe that meant something. Jim wasn’t one to ignore his instincts. He would find Spock and make him realize that Jim was someone he could be with.
NOW
Momentarily disoriented, Spock awoke on his couch, head resting on the pillow that still smelled faintly of Jim Kirk. Spock internally raised on eyebrow at himself before getting up to meditate.
THEN
Jim was early to his xenobiology class. He was standing in the hall reading over his notes for the test. He felt someone watching him and looked up expecting to see Gary.
“Spock. Hi.”
“Hello, Jim.” Spock stepped in closer. Jim’s stomach flipped and he immediately forgot everything he had wanted to say to Spock. “I would like to apologize for my behavior the other night.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“No,” Spock looked around them and spoke more quietly. “The way I touched you was inappropriate for our relationship to each other and I apologize.”
“Um, okay.”
Spock nodded, apparently satisfied and disappeared before Jim had a chance formulate a response.
He was distracted during his entire test.
Afterwards he immediately went to find Spock. He found him alone in a research lab.
“Jim,” said Spock, apparently surprised to see him.
Jim pointed an accusing finger at him. “What the fuck was that earlier?”
“I do not unders--”
“You don’t get to just come up and apologize for touching me. Which I liked, by the way. And what did you mean by it being inappropriate for our relationship to each other? And how can we change our relationship so that we can including touching and hopefully kissing and fucking?”
Jim was gratified to see that Spock was flushed a light green high along his cheekbones.
“I--I don’t engage in relationships such as that.”
“What? Are you one of those no sex until marriage people?”
“No, but I still require a certain level of commitment.”
“And what? You just decided that I can be committed?”
“I need someone who is going to be here for longer than just the summer.”
“Well, I’m joining Starfleet, so...”
“I am glad it hear it, I just hope you made the decision for the right reason.”
“The right reason? No, no. I’m doing it to be closer to you. Fuck that. I mean I’m glad that I will be. But Starfleet is where I want to be and not because of you. I just want you to give me a chance.”
“Jim--”
“I know you want me. So why not try this?”
Spock didn’t say anything. Jim leaned in, bracing his arms on either side of the chair Spock was sitting in. This time when he pressed his lips to Spock’s, he was met with no resistance. Jim parted his lips and slid his mouth against Spock’s.
Spock kissed him back, slowly and gently. They were barely touching but Jim felt it though his whole body. He needed Spock. Wanted to feel him all over. Spock sucked Jim’s lower lip into his mouth and bit at it gently before releasing Jim’s mouth. Jim leaned their foreheads together, Spock’s hands at his waist.
“Was that a yes?”
Spock sighed. “Give me the night to think on it.”
Jim, pulled back, slightly disappointed. “Just remember to put my hot body in the ‘pros’ column.”
“I will do so.”
Jim smiled, despite himself. He left before he got down on his knees and begged for Spock to just decide to date him already.
Part Two (because stupid word limit)
Rating: R/NC-17
Word Count: 9,800
Pairings: Kirk/Spock. There are some moments between Gary Mitchell/Kirk, as well as some minor moments of flirtation between Kirk/Pike because that's just how I see their canon relationship. Kirk just flirts with everyone.
Warning: Underage (Kirk is 17, Spock is a few years older)
Summary: A prequel to The Perfect Man. Spock is a cadet on his way to becoming a professor, Jim is a troublesome teen sent to live with Captain Christopher Pike for the summer, this is the story of how they meet and fall for each other. Miscommunications abound.
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or it's characters, nor do I claim to.
Author's Notes:
1) The "NOW" sections are in Spock's point of view, the "THEN" sections are from Kirk's perspective. Other than switching between those two times it's all chronological. There is significantly more Kirk perspective than Spock perspective.
2) There are a few minor ( hopefully ignorable) continuity errors between this and The Perfect Man, this story just worked better that way.
3) You don't need to be familiar with The Perfect Man to read this. Like really. You don't. I cringed a lot re-reading it.
4) This is written for
biomath. I am so sorry this is over a year late. Hopefully the fact the I finally delivered and also wrote close to 10,000 words when I only promised 2,000 makes up for it at least a little bit *hides in shame.*
LINK TO PART TWO (because stupid word limit)
NOW
When Spock awoke, it took him a moment to orient himself. The high ceiling above him was not the ceiling of Starfleet Academy housing. The space next to him was still warm. Jim could not have gone far.
Spock pushed the blankets off of himself and his eyes caught on the mark near his hipbone that Jim had left with his mouth. Flushing to the tips of his ears from the memories of the night before, Spock brushed his fingers over the mark. Jim had promised him.
Spock found his clothes from the day before scattered on the floor. He dressed himself slowly, the worn out feel of the day-old outfit distasteful to him. He was glad to have spent the night with Jim, but wished that he could have woken up in his own rooms.
Spock went to Jim’s window and climbed out onto the roof.
Spock found Jim sitting there, watching as the sunrise lit up the city. Jim’s back was to Spock, his arms wrapped around bent legs, chin resting on his knees. Spock took a seat beside Jim. Jim turned his head so his cheek was flat against his knees.
“I don’t think I can do this.”
THEN
Jim let out a long breath and leaned back against the wall of the shuttle station. Captain Christopher Pike, was late. The most recent in the long list of people his mother had guilted into looking after Jim, Pike wasn’t close to being the latest. Jim would give him another two hours, if only because finding a place to stay in a strange new city, plus being underage was a bitch. He was almost eighteen, he shouldn’t have to put up with this crap.
Jim straightened up slightly. One of the nicest cars he’d seen in a long time pulled up to the curb. The tinted window was rolled down, revealing an attractive man with dark hair going silver at the temples. He was also wearing a black Starfleet uniform. This had to be Christopher Pike.
“Get in, kid,” the Pike said, popping the trunk.
“Do you have candy? Because I was told never to get in the cars of strange men with candy.”
The Pike’s eyes crinkled up at the edges as he smirked up at Jim. “But you like candy, don’t you, Jim?”
“Yeah, I like it a lot.”
Pike chuckled. Jim slung his duffle and backpack into the trunk.
Jim slid into the front seat. “Where we headed, Captain?”
“Starfleet Academy. It’s the first day of the summer program for high school students.”
“That’s nice.” Jim said.
“Got you signed up for a couple of classes from your transcripts. As long as you don’t start any trouble you should do just fine.”
Jim leaned his forehead against the window and watched the fog from his breath quickly evaporate in the summer heat.
-----
Jim woke up with a start, he rolled to look at his clock. Seven in the morning. He didn’t have to be up for classes for another two hours. Just as he was closing his eyes again, the doorbell rang.
Jim groaned. It was probably that Amanda Grayson woman. She was conducting research of some sort, of which Pike was somewhat involved. She was really a nice woman, but she had a habit of coming over very early in the morning when Pike was still out on his morning jog, forcing Jim to answer the door. This was probably the third time this had happened.
Jim dragged himself out of bed and pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. Amanda Grayson didn’t need to know he slept in poka-dot boxers.
But when he flung open the door it was a stunningly attractive young man--a Vulcan he surmised from his looks--in a Starfleet Uniform. He was carrying a pile of PADDs and looked rather put out for someone who belong to race who claimed to have complete control over their emotions.
“You aren’t Amanda Grayson,” Jim said, not quite awake yet.
The Vulcan raised one eyebrow at him. “Your powers of observation are quite astute.”
Jim pointed a finger at him. “Hey now, you aren’t allowed to make fun of me. I just woke up a minute ago. From your doorbell ringing, I might add. You dropping those off for Pike?”
“I was not, as you claimed, making fun of you, I was merely stating a fact. And yes these are for Pike.”
Jim took the PADDs.
“I apologize for waking you.”
“You’re not a bad sight to wake up to, so don’t worry about it.” Jim winked at him and closed the door on a mildly scandalized Vulcan.
NOW
I don’t think I can do this.
Spock had heard words with a similar sentiment from all four of his previous sexual partners. Usually these words were uttered when they came to the realization that what Spock wanted from a relationship wasn’t something they could give. The level of commitment he needed-- it wasn’t the type of relationship that was suited to most people.
And Spock shouldn’t be surprised. Jim was the type he usually avoided. Someone with half-formed goals, a shameless flirt. He had heard the talk. He had had his own concerns that Jim was too capricious in his affections, too young.
But it wasn’t that simple. Spock had seen Jim’s fierce intelligence, his intensity and drive to follow through to the best of his abilities once he had committed to something. He had seen how the constant stream of innuendo was a protective shield as much as it was a way of communication.
And Jim had promised. Even though Spock had worried that he would be asking too much of Jim too quickly, which was the main reason why he had initially turned Jim down, Jim had assured Spock that he could handle it. He had looked Spock in the eyes, said he understood what Spock wanted and that he would be willing to give it to him.
Spock turn to look at Jim. Jim who was determinedly gazing off the roof, into the distance.
“Explain and clarify, please.”
THEN
The stone walls echoed with the chatter of the students as they spilled out of the classroom into the halls of Starfleet Academy. Lost in thought about the lesson Jim let himself be pushed along with the flow of the crowd. He had forgotten how good it felt to have a teacher who actually took him seriously. To be in a classroom full of people just as engaged and interested as him.
Oh wait, he hadn’t forgotten, it had never happened before.
A hand on his shoulder, startled him out of his thoughts. He looked up to see brown eyes set in a face framed by a mass of curls. Riley, a girl from his class.
“Hey, Jim. Coming to the bonfire Friday?”
“I wouldn’t miss it.” He leveled a smile he knew was charming at her, she blushed, nodded, and scurried back to her friends.
Gary walked up behind him. “You going to that thing?”
Jim had gravitated to Gary rather quickly. Gary was a smart, attractive kid raised on an expensive exclusive private school education, but was rough around the edges in a way that was extremely familiar to Jim.
“Why not? Know you are.”
“I’m not one to pass up a party. You however have only been to one or two since classes started.”
“I’m trying this new thing, where I actually try in school.”
“That doesn’t mean you have to limit your partying. You’re only in two classes. Just study during the day.”
“I try. But people are always dropping by the house, talking at me for hours. Stupid Pike and his popularity and his tendency not to be around whenever anyone wants to see him.”
Gary ran his hand through his hair, suddenly strangely hesitant. “You could always come up to my dorm room, study there. I’ve got a single, so there wouldn’t be anyone to bug you.”
“Except you, you mean.”
“Shut up,” Gary grinned and playfully pushed him. Jim just laughed.
-----
Jim was scrambling himself some eggs this time when the doorbell rang. He opened it to find the same Vulcan as the day before, holding a different stack of PADDs.
“I remain not Amanda Grayson.”
Jim grinned at him. “Who are you then?”
“I am Spock.”
Jim took the PADDs from him. “Just Spock, no rank?”
“I am a cadet, I am currently in training to become a professor.”
“Nice. I’m Jim, by the way. Jim Kirk.”
“It is nice to meet you, Jim Kirk.”
Jim smiled, a little bit charmed. “Likewise.”
“What are you studying Jim?”
“Uhh, my mom dropped me here for the summer because she thought Pike would whip me into shape. I think she’s hoping it’ll be the first summer since I was 12 that I don’t get arrested. Pike enrolled me in a couple of classes for high school students in pursuit of the of same goal.”
Spock looked at Jim with an expression he couldn’t read.
“Sorry. Too honest for the first meeting?”
“This is our second meeting. And in my opinion, honesty is always a positive quality to posses.”
“Oh, okay.” Jim willed himself not to stare at the guy’s mouth.
“Until next time, Jim.”
“Yeah.”
Jim exhaled. A party would be good, he needed to get in some good old fashioned flirting and possibly hooking up with someone who might actually return the interest.
-----
Pike looked up as Jim walked through the room towards the door, in worn jeans, that managed to hang low on his hips but still hug his ass paired with a t-short that stretched just right over his shoulders. It had gotten late, dark, and cool outside, so he grabbed his jacket on his way out.
“Have fun, Jim. Behave yourself,” Pike called after him.
“When do I not?” He grinned at Pike’s skeptical raised brow and exited.
-----
Jim winked at the cadet who handed him a shot. He downed it neatly in one swallow, as the cadet watched him with interest. He closed his eyes briefly as he felt the alcohol settle into his system; a warm pleasant buzz that matched nicely with the low pulse of music and the way the flames from the bonfire danced, throwing shadows over everyone.
Just as the cadet leaned into Jim, Jim felt an arm being slung over his shoulder and he was yanked deeper into the crowd. He tilted his head back to rest on the arm around his shoulders. Gary Mitchell grinned down at him.
“Didn’t think you’d make it, Jimmy.”
“If you think I’d miss a somewhat illegal party on the edge of Starfleet property, then you don’t know me very well.”
“We should fix that.”
It wasn’t a very good line, but Jim liked Gary. He pressed a little closer against Gary. Jim grinned up at him when his eyes flicked over Jim’s face, trying to read him. Gary smiled hesitantly and opened his mouth to speak.
“Hi guys!” It was Riley, impressively balancing more than a couple beers in her arms.
The two boys abruptly turned slightly away from each other. Not entirely deterred, Gary’s arm dropped down from around Jim’s shoulders to around his waist, hand settled just inside his jacket, at his hip. Jim licked his lips.
Riley handed them both beers. “Thanks,” said Jim, popping it open.
“Aren’t you underage? Where did you get these?” Gary asked.
“Some cadet gave them to me. He must have thought I was cute.” She shrugged and grinned, taking a hearty swig of her beer. “I was lucky. I don’t really have any connections here and I didn’t want to be sober at this crazy thing,” she gestured towards the center of the gathering, where people were already hollering and dancing around the bonfire.
“I hear you,” Jim agreed.
“You guys have any alcohol?” she asked.
“I’m living with Captain Motherfucking Pike, I don’t have anything. When I got here though a cadet gave me a shot of something really strong. They also must have thought I was cute.”
Riley and Jim clinked their beers together in solidarity.
“Aww poor Gary. No one wanted to get him drunk,” Riley teased.
“Hey,” said Gary, “I’m hanging out with not one but two hot underaged pieces of ass that other people wanted to get drunk and take advantage of. Don’t feel sorry for me, I’ve got both of you to myself.”
“You make a good point,” Jim said. Riley nodded, laughing.
They turned as a few booms went off, showering the sky with multi-colored sparks. “Fireworks!” Riley squealed. She grabbed the two boys by their arms, tugging them towards the spectacle.
-----
A few weeks studying instead of cutting loose and looking for trouble and Jim’s tolerance was shot. Either that or he just wasn’t familiar with the Starfleet cadets’ brands of choice. It had only been a couple of hours and not that many drinks. But when Jim stood still everything tilted around him.
Gary was off getting more drinks or possibly some kind of drug. Jim couldn’t remember. Couldn’t remember how long he had been gone. Riley clung to his side. Jim shifted his weight, using her for balance as much as he was using him.
“Ooh, that last drink was strong,” she said.
Jim nodded.
“Was the fire always purple?”
“No, I think that’s new,” Jim said. Or maybe it had been like that for hours. Fuck, what was time?
A tall cadet sauntered over to them. “This party is getting old. I’m having a thing in my room. You guys should come. It’s over past the South campus.”
“Oh, I don’t really know the campus, that well,” Riley said.
The cadet’s smile suddenly got predatory. “Oh, are you summer program kids?”
They nodded stupidly, Jim thought. “Oh, then you should definitely come,” the cadet insisted.
“No thanks,” said Riley.
“No, nope, can’t,” Jim said, on the same page, both teenagers getting the creepy vibes even through their drunk haze.
“Aww, come on,” the cadet insisted. “It’ll be fun. Other people are already there. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know the campus, I’ll walk you there.”
“Oh, but our friend--” started Riley.
“--is over there,” Jim finished for her, sensing she was wavering.
“Oh good. You see Gary?” Riley asked.
“Yup,” Jim lied, nodding in a vague direction.
“Oh good, Gary.” Riley said.
“Yeah, let’s go over there. To him,” Jim said, starting to tug Riley along, stumbling slightly.
“You can bring your friend too,” the cadet said, starting to following them.
“Oh no, he...hates parties,” Jim finished awkwardly, dragging them into the crowd.
“I don’t see Gary,” said Riley.
“No, I lied.”
She laughed, making them trip slightly. “Oh good.”
“Come on,” Jim said, leading them away from the party, “let’s be drunk and fuckable somewhere away from creeps.”
Riley nodded in agreement.
-----
Jim and Riley laid on their backs on a stretch of grass under a statue of some famous woman who had had great achievements. They had drunkenly stumbled along until they could no longer hear the party. Riley hadn’t wanted to face her floor monitor this drunk and Jim wasn’t sober to recognize which of the nearly identical houses at the edge of the campus belong to Pike so they had collapsed on the grass instead, drunkenly discussing which components made up the most appealing starships and why.
Sharp, quick footsteps suddenly approached. They both got quiet and tried to project being not drunk without getting up or sprawling less. The footsteps paused. Jim looked up.
“Hey Spock!” Perfect. Smart, studious, professional Spock was here and Jim was wasted. What if he reported them?
“Jim,” Spock said slowly.
Jim couldn’t read him at all. He propped himself up on his elbows. For some reason he decided starting a conversation would help. “So what are you doing out here so late?”
“I could ask the same of you and your--.”
“If you were going to finish that sentience with girlfriend, you’d be wrong,” said Riley.
“Indeed?”
“Boys are for friendships, just girls are for girlfriending...That’s not a verb.”
“It is not,” Spock agreed.
“It is, however, a limited worldview,” Jim said.
“You girlfriend--excuse me--boyfriend the girls and the boys?” Riley asked.
“And everyone else too.”
“That’s too many people,” Riley said, laughing.
“No. You are wrong. She is wrong,” Jim said turning to Spock, who was starting to look a little amused, but probably Jim was just wasted and projecting. “She is wrong about so many things. Aesthetics of a starship are just as important as functionality!”
“This again! They are minimally important!”
“Spock, you seem intelligent, back me up!”
“I am gratified that you think so.”
“Jokes!” Proclaimed Jim, turning to Riley, “you noticed that too, yeah?”
“Yeah, for sure. But he is wrong,” Riley told Spock. “Tell him he’s wrong.”
“Both of your arguments have merit.”
“No! You have to choose,” Riley said.
“Yes! Chose! Tell her she’s wrong,” Jim said.
“Most academy buildings are closed. You should both be in your rooms,” Spock said.
“Mine is right there,” Riley pointed to the building across the path from them. “It’s too far.”
“I barely know which house is Pike’s when I’m sober,” Jim said.
“I can take you,” Spock said.
“Oh, he’s nice.” Riley said, struggling to get up. Jim followed.
Jim waved cheerfully at Riley as she crossed to her building.
“Bye! That was fun! Let’s do it again!” She called.
“Yes!” Jim agreed.
“You know I’m right though,” Jim said bumping companionably into Spock.
“About the merits of dating any person regardless of gender or that you and her should attend another party together?” Spock asked.
“No! That the aesthetics of a starship match functionality in importance.”
“Ah. An interesting argument. In construction a large focus is often put on aesthetics, although many argue that it is the vanity of Starfleet and the Federation rather than a tactically important feature as you seem to be arguing it is.”
“It may have started as a vanity thing, maybe,” Jim said. “But now it’s brand. We’re recognized throughout for having pretty ships. Not just pretty though! Sleek and impressive and intimidating without being dark and spiky. And pride and recognizability--is that a word?”
“Yes.”
“And who wants to live in an ugly ship for years? Who wants to be represented by that? If our ships weren’t attractive we’d have far less recruits for Starfleet.”
“I do not believe that the aesthetics of a starship match functionality in importance.”
“Spock, no! How you can you even say that to me?!” Jim clutched at his heart in betrayal.
“However,” Spock said, “You do make a unique argument that has a lot of merit. Aesthetic do have an important place in the construction of Starships, however functionally still outweighs that importance.”
“I guess I can live with that.” Jim smiled widely up at Spock.
NOW
Jim looked up at Spock with those shockingly blue eyes. “What exactly do you need to be explained or clarified about me realizing I don’t want you.”
Spock carefully kept his expression neutral “I understand.”
“Good.” The word was spat out. Spock couldn’t entirely recognize the nuances in Jim’s expression in that moment, but he could detect disgust.
Spock stood up fast and left the roof, not caring about the impression he left and more about getting away from Jim and his the disgust in his gaze.
Spock had opened up to Jim--the words whispered into skin, the emotions he had let slip through--and Jim was not even interested in him. He had used him.
THEN
Jim was shaken awake. He opened his eyes to see Chris Pike decked out in workout gear.
“What? No. No classes today.”
Jim pulled his sheet over his head only to have it yanked away.
“Nooo. Get someone else to be your terrible early morning jogging buddy.”
Pike leaned over him, face deadly serious. “James Kirk. Explain to me why you smell like alcohol and why one of my best and most promising students and the son of a current research partner is sleeping downstairs on my couch.”
“The first part is because party last night. I didn’t do anything bad though! Or get caught! The second part is...Who? What are you talking about?”
“Spock. Cadet Spock. What did you do?”
“He’s Amanda Grayson’s son?”
Pike frowned at him. “That is not what I was hoping you would get from that. Do I need to do damage control? What did drunk irresponsible Jim do to Spock and Why. Is. He. Here.”
“Oh uh, I ran into him after the party and we talked about starship construction. And I couldn’t remember where you lived so he walked me here. I didn’t know he stayed. Or maybe I did, I honestly can’t remember.”
Pike just stared at Jim. “Your intelligence is off the charts, you’ve been here for over two weeks and you couldn’t remember where I live?”
“If you want me to remember where you live, get a house that isn’t identical to all the other ones next to it. I didn’t want to accidentally go in the wrong one. You’re the one who said I shouldn’t get arrested. I was merely trying to honor that.”
Pike crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “Go back to sleep.”
“Gladly.”
Pike left grumbling to himself. For someone who exercised so much he sure was carrying around a lot of stress, Jim thought.
When he finally woke up for the second time, he walked downstairs to see Spock sitting cross-legged on the floor, reading a PADD.
“Hey, thanks for walking for home last night.”
“It was not a problem. I fear that otherwise you and your friend would spent the night on the grass.”
“Yeah, I think we might’ve. You totally saved us. Oh and sorry for anything I said or did. I drank more than I should’ve. Wasn’t expecting the drinks to be that strong.”
Spock nodded. “Cadets often add extra substances to strengthen their drinks. And do not worry. I found your conversation intriguing, despite your level of inebriation.”
“Ach.” Jim made a face and went to get some coffee before returning. Spock was still in the house, presumably for no reason other than Jim.
“From what I gathered you are interested in construction and engineering.”
“It’s a strong interest, yeah. But if I were to actually attend Starfleet, I’d probably choose the command track.”
“I notice your verb choice. Most of those in the summer program plan on entering Starfleet, yet you are unsure? Do you have other potential plans as well?”
“Umm well, no. There was never really a plan, beyond not getting boxed in by other people’s expectations.”
Spock nodded, as if this made sense to him.
“But I’m mostly in this program to keep me out of trouble. But I’m actually enjoying it a lot. So we’ll see... Do you play 3D chess?”
“I do indeed.”
“Great!” Jim was glad to have something to do, to keep the conversation from getting too deep.
Spock left after he had won two games and Jim had won one. They had all been really close. It had been fun. Jim groaned. Spock was probably way off limits.
Jim checked his messages to find that Gary was wondering where he had gone last night and also that he wanted help on the homework. Jim sent him a quick message and headed off to his rooms.
NOW
The research labs had finally closed for the night, so Spock was forced to go home. When he entered his rooms, he froze--listening. He could not yet identify it, but something was out of place.
Spock crept through his front room, looking for the threat.
Jim Kirk was sprawled out on his couch, sleeping. Spock immediately relaxed. Spock considered what it would be like to run his hand through Jim’s soft hair, to watch him stir sleepily. He turned on the lights instead.
Jim blinked awake. “Hey, Spock.” His voice was soft, sleepy.
“Do you get intoxicated and break into my rooms? I could report you to the authorities for illegal consummation of alcohol on StarFleet premises, not to mention breaking and entering.”
Jim’s soft expression gave way to one of anguish. He rolled up into a sitting position and dropped his face into his hands. Spock didn’t quite feel the vindication he had hoped for.
“Please don’t report me, I’m sorry. I was being a dumbass. I just wanted to talk to you and I thought you were ignoring me. So then I...yeah and you weren’t even here and your couch looked so comfortable. I didn’t mean to be here when you get back. I’m sorry. Please don’t report me. I can’t afford that with my record. Agh I promised myself I wasn’t going to be stupid.” All of this Jim muttered into his hands.
“What reason could you have had for wanted to speak to me?”
Jim looked up at him. “I just wanted to know something. I was on my way to pretty wasted, it didn’t make a whole lot of sense.”
Part of Spock appreciated the non-answer he was not sure he wanted to know the truth. “If you do not wish for me to alert the authorities, now would be a good time for you to vacate my rooms.”
Jim stood up. ‘I--I really enjoyed the time we spent together. I’m sorry that--”
“Get. Out.” Jim’s eyes widened at the barely controlled fury in his voice. He tripped over his own feet in his hurry to leave.
Spock sank down into his couch. If Jim truly felt the way he had said he had when he rejected Spock then he would have no logical reason for wanting to see him now, even heavily intoxicated. Most likely things would have been easier for Spock had he not developed an attachment to an emotionally confused teenaged human boy.
THEN
Jim was lying flat on his stomach on the floor in Gary’s room, looking over the assigned work from their xenobiology course. Gary was lying on the floor across from him.
Normally Jim would take advantage of the Gary was sneaking glances him, or more specifically--his ass. But he wasn’t sure what he wanted from Gary and he was still hoping Spock was a possibility.
Gary was cool though and he might genuinely like Jim though. He got a shy look in his eyes when Jim leaned into his personal space. That would make it nicer than a lot of the quick hookups Jim had had in the past.
Just as Gary began to inch further in Jim’s space, Jim’s comm chimed. It was a message from Pike telling Jim that dinner would be soon. Saved.
“Do you really have to go?” Gary asked, looking up at him with puppy eyes.
“Yeah, sorry. Dinner with the Captain, you know. We’ll hang again soon though.”
“Yeah, I hope so.”
“We will.” Jim shot him a charming smile and Gary grinned back.
-----
The table was set for two and was laid out with pasta and salad.
“Aww, Chris did you make dinner just for me? You told your students and admirers not to come so you could have time alone with just me, didn’t you?” Jim waggled his eyebrows in a way that made Pike pull his patented ‘concerned yet amused’ look. Jim had practiced in the mirror but he still wasn’t sure how the guy made his face do that.
“Sit down, Jim.”
“Yes, sir.” Jim pulled out the chair adjacent to Pike’s at the head of the table.
“Now, Jim,” began Pike, serving up Jim a hearty helping of spaghetti and meatballs, “You’re enrolled in two of the longer and most rigorous courses that are offered to summer students and it’s still very early on but--”
“If this is about that party, it was one time and I’ve turned in all my coursework and--”
“Don’t talk with food in your mouth.”
“My hand is in front of my mouth, you can’t even see anything.”
Pike gave him an unimpressed look. “Sometimes I don’t even know why I bother with you.”
“It’s my natural charm.”
“Something like that.”
They chewed in silence for a while because curiosity finally got the better of Jim.
“What were you going to yell at me about?”
Pike sighed. “I wasn’t going to yell at you about anything. You’ve been putting forward quite an impressive effort so far. I wanted to talk to you because both of your teachers were shocked and surprised to learn that you were the only summer student who hasn’t marked an interest in Starfleet. And like I said it’s still early but from what you’ve shown so far they’re both predicting that you’ll be near the top of both classes.”
“And these classes are known are for being super hard.”
“Right, so you can see where I’m going with this.”
“You want me to think about my future and my goals and all that I can achieve,” Jim gestured dramatically with his fork.
“Precisely,” Pike grinned like a shark. “You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it. Joing Starfleet, going out into the black. Do you have any life plans, Jim?”
“Not especially. I’ve thought about being a mechanic of some kind.”
“The Federation is a peacekeeping organization. It’s important. Plus you’d be exploring new worlds, making new discoveries, you can’t tell me that doesn’t appealing to you. Can you honestly tell me that you’d prefer being a mechanic? That’s nowhere near being challenging or interesting enough for someone like you. In Starfleet you could be a officer in four years, have your own ship in eight. Would you really be satisfied with the life of a mechanic?”
“I’d have a higher chance of surviving passed thirty.”
Pike leveled him with a considering look. “Your father was captain of a starship for twelve minutes. He saved eight hundred lives, including your mother's and yours. I dare you to do better.”
Jim sat back in his chair. “Wow. This just got really heavy for a spaghetti dinner.”
Pike gave him a wry grin. “For the record I considered steak for a while.”
“Yeah, that’s--yeah. Can I be excused?”
“Of course.” Pike looked like he was about to say something else, but he just took a bite of pasta instead.
Jim went up the stairs to his room, but he was struck by a sudden wave of claustrophobia. This wasn’t his real room, wasn’t his real home. He opened the window to his room and look out at the wide, flat expanse of roof. That would work.
Jim lay back on the roof looking up at the stars. Could he really go up there, leave everything behind. Not that he had anything to leave behind besides vague ideas of a life and future here on Earth, far away from everything Starfleet. His brother was already somewhere out there and his mom was up there every chance she got.
His dad had given his life for Starfleet, for the federation and was up there too, in a way. Stardust and a tragic legacy that shadowed the remaining three Kirks, was all that was left of George Kirk.
So it wasn’t like Jim would be leaving his family behind, if anything he would be getting closer to them.
Jim would be good at it. He knew he would. But it was everything he had always sworn he would never be a part of.
The window behind him creaked. He looked back, it was Spock.
“Hey, what are you doing here?”
“I am working on an important project that will define my future at Starfleet, I was seeking counsel from Captain Pike.”
“I meant on the roof.”
“My mother enjoys both viewing Terran entertainment vids and forcing me to view them with her. The ones she enjoys the most, are considered quite melodramatic in nature. The characters regularly commit quite illogical actions. One of which involved no less than four suicides by falling; purportedly all in the name of love. Ever since viewing that particular vid, I must admit to feeling a large amount of concern for any solitary person located on a roof.”
Jim laughed. “I don’t think you need to be concerned until someone is actually standing at the ledge.”
“Ah, I will remember that. Now that I have ascertained your safety, I will continue my conference with Captain Pike.”
“Hey, wait. Why did you decide to leave Vulcan?” Jim asked. “Sorry if that’s too personal. Just--just thinking about the future.”
Spock climbed through the window, much more gracefully than Jim had managed. He sat beside Jim, who was still laying on his back, and elegantly pretzeled his legs beneath himself.
“You are considering Starfleet?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“I wished to work at a place where I would be challenged, where I could learn, make discoveries, and do important scientific work.”
“Makes sense.”
“Starfleet was not my first choice.”
“No?”
“When I applied here, I never expected that I would attend. I merely applied as it is logical to cultivate multiple options and I was not sure of acceptance into my first choice.”
“Did your other choice not accept you then? Because if they didn’t they are way crazy. I’ve seen your work, and the things you’re doing are really amazing.”
“No, I was accepted. I merely came to realize that Starfleet was the only true option for me.”
“Why?”
Spock looked down from the night sky and met Jim’s eyes. “It is the only place where I would be given respect and the freedom to grow into myself and my ideas. Without that all my other goals would have been moot.”
Jim smiled at Spock. “Well then I’m glad you chose Starfleet then. You deserve to be happy Spock.”
“I do not believe I said anything about happiness.”
“No? My mistake.”
“The decision rests on you, however, I can not think of any other institution besides Starfleet better suited to your talents and interests.”
Jim sat up and carefully reached out and put his hand on Spock’s shoulder. “Thanks, Spock.”
Spock nodded once. Jim slowly withdrew his hand.
“Have you really read my work?”
“Yeah, Pike just leaves it lying around. You might want to talk to him about that if you don’t want jealous cadets stealing it.”
“It is encrypted. Captain Pike leaves it unlocked?”
Jim ducked his head, embarrassed at being caught. “Oh yeah. I forgot about the encryption. I uh, may have hacked it.”
“You hacked it.” Jim couldn’t read Spock at all.
“Sorry. I was curious. I didn’t steal anything or mess with it all, promise.”
“Do not worry yourself. I am merely impressed that you managed to hack it. And you understood all the concepts in my paper?”
“I had to work through some of them but you explained it all pretty well. And hacking is kind of my unofficial talent.”
“I am beginning to understand why your mother and Captain Pike may have been worried about you being arrested.”
Jim laughs. “Yeah. The ways that I entertain myself aren’t always appreciated by the authorities.”
“No, I don’t suppose that they would be.”
Something about the way that Spock was looking at him was making Jim feel warm all over. If Spock were anyone else, Jim would be flirting. But he had no idea what Spock’s boundaries were and didn’t want to upset him. He couldn’t just follow his normal method of getting into his personal space, leaning against his side, touching his shoulder or arm as they talked, anything he could get.
Jim involuntarily licked his lips and felt himself flush as Spock’s eyes tracked the movement.
“I’m hungry. I mean I never finished dinner and my pasta’s still there. So I’m gonna go. Do that.” Jim was impressed with how smooth he always managed to be around really good looking, immaculately put together, older, soon to be professor, cadets.
“I should get back to my meeting with Pike as well. He should be done reading through the changes I have made to the draft by now.”
“Great.”
Spock exited through the window before Jim. Jim took the opportunity to check out his ass. Mmm, yes. That was exactly the kind of ass that Jim would love to get his hands...and mouth on. And those thighs. Spock was lean but he still looked like he’d have an effortless kind of strength. Like he’d find it really easy to push Jim around to exactly where he wanted him, be able to pin Jim down and cage him with his body and just make him take it.
Jim stumbled climbing through the window and Spock caught him. He steadied Jim, once hand at his hip and one higher up, against his ribs. And then he just left his hands there. They were warm against his skin, through his thin t-shirt.
Jim forced himself to meet Spock’s eyes. They were warm and dark.
Spock let out a breath and started to let go of Jim. Jim wasn’t having any of that. He wanted more of Spock’s hands on him, not less. He got a hand around the back of Spock’s neck and leaned in.
Just as their lips brushed, Spock gently pushed Jim back by the shoulders. He left the room abruptly without saying a word.
“Fuck.”
Jim’s stomach grumbled at him and he went downstairs in search of the pasta. He really was hungry. He found Pike in the kitchen, wrapping up their leftovers.
“Hey, Jim. Sorry if I got a little intense earlier. I just really need you to think seriously about this and it’s so hard to tell what’s getting through to you.”
Jim shrugged and grabbed the pasta from him and began to make himself a plate. “No worries.”
“So. Any thoughts?”
“Yeah. You said four years?”
Pike nodded, wary.
“I’ll do it in three.”
Pike shook his head and grinned. “Sure you will, kid.”
“Oh, where’d Spock go?”
“He left right after talking to you.”
Jim twirled spaghetti around a fork. “Huh.”
“Should I be worried?”
“Nope.”
He grabbed his plate and left.
Huh. Spock just had left right away. There was no way Jim had been misreading those signals. Spock wanted him. He was just running because of some reason.
Jim considered it. He was just a summer student, Spock was older, a cadet soon to be professor he was probably looking for someone more serious and stable. But now that Jim was going to actually be around and join Starfleet, and yes that was something he was going to commit himself to, there wasn’t really anywhere else that he belonged as much as here, he could maybe be that sort of person.
Not that he had any real sort of idea on how to become that type of person. But for Spock he could try. And Jim was reasonably sure that he probably wasn’t supposed to feel this strongly for another person yet. But whatever, maybe that meant something. Jim wasn’t one to ignore his instincts. He would find Spock and make him realize that Jim was someone he could be with.
NOW
Momentarily disoriented, Spock awoke on his couch, head resting on the pillow that still smelled faintly of Jim Kirk. Spock internally raised on eyebrow at himself before getting up to meditate.
THEN
Jim was early to his xenobiology class. He was standing in the hall reading over his notes for the test. He felt someone watching him and looked up expecting to see Gary.
“Spock. Hi.”
“Hello, Jim.” Spock stepped in closer. Jim’s stomach flipped and he immediately forgot everything he had wanted to say to Spock. “I would like to apologize for my behavior the other night.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“No,” Spock looked around them and spoke more quietly. “The way I touched you was inappropriate for our relationship to each other and I apologize.”
“Um, okay.”
Spock nodded, apparently satisfied and disappeared before Jim had a chance formulate a response.
He was distracted during his entire test.
Afterwards he immediately went to find Spock. He found him alone in a research lab.
“Jim,” said Spock, apparently surprised to see him.
Jim pointed an accusing finger at him. “What the fuck was that earlier?”
“I do not unders--”
“You don’t get to just come up and apologize for touching me. Which I liked, by the way. And what did you mean by it being inappropriate for our relationship to each other? And how can we change our relationship so that we can including touching and hopefully kissing and fucking?”
Jim was gratified to see that Spock was flushed a light green high along his cheekbones.
“I--I don’t engage in relationships such as that.”
“What? Are you one of those no sex until marriage people?”
“No, but I still require a certain level of commitment.”
“And what? You just decided that I can be committed?”
“I need someone who is going to be here for longer than just the summer.”
“Well, I’m joining Starfleet, so...”
“I am glad it hear it, I just hope you made the decision for the right reason.”
“The right reason? No, no. I’m doing it to be closer to you. Fuck that. I mean I’m glad that I will be. But Starfleet is where I want to be and not because of you. I just want you to give me a chance.”
“Jim--”
“I know you want me. So why not try this?”
Spock didn’t say anything. Jim leaned in, bracing his arms on either side of the chair Spock was sitting in. This time when he pressed his lips to Spock’s, he was met with no resistance. Jim parted his lips and slid his mouth against Spock’s.
Spock kissed him back, slowly and gently. They were barely touching but Jim felt it though his whole body. He needed Spock. Wanted to feel him all over. Spock sucked Jim’s lower lip into his mouth and bit at it gently before releasing Jim’s mouth. Jim leaned their foreheads together, Spock’s hands at his waist.
“Was that a yes?”
Spock sighed. “Give me the night to think on it.”
Jim, pulled back, slightly disappointed. “Just remember to put my hot body in the ‘pros’ column.”
“I will do so.”
Jim smiled, despite himself. He left before he got down on his knees and begged for Spock to just decide to date him already.
Part Two (because stupid word limit)