(no subject)
Had an awesome day and even an awesome night...
Went to the coffee shop open mic! Hung out with John, John, Evy.. talked a lil with RJ, Luke, Katy.. I was having a good time.. Then outta no where.. All those seasonal ales started looking really good.. All I wanted was a fucken beer! I hate when that feeling kicks in.. Then Evy starts talking about a party over at the queer house.. And Im thinking about going with her... Then I question, "Can I really go without drinking?" Then we all head down to Reyna's and everyone is taking shots of whiskey.. And my mind is going.. FUCK!!!!
So yeah.. thats the first time thats happened in oh so long.. So, I called Jarod.. And then the feeling passed.. So I stayed and hung out til open mic was over.. Didn't drink..
Came home.. all was well, getting ready to read and go to bed.. Then the fucken feeling comes back.. then I see on a friends page Olivia's new facebook picture.. of her and her girlfriend.. And the NEED to drink came back.. I fucken hate that feeling... Its almost like.. I can't breath.. and anxiety surges through me.. And im like fuck I dont want to drink.. I dont need to drink.. GO AWAY!
I dont know if that feeling ever goes away??
Anyhow.. saw that amtrak is hiring for another position, so, I applied... Not giving up on this damn amtrak thing.. I think I was BORN to work on a train!! =)
Almost done with my 4th step.. Damn, there are a lot of people out there who have pissed me off.. but im sure there are even more that I've pissed off..
Fingers crossed that magic will happen soon.. Getting bored again.. and when Im bored.. nothing good comes out of it.. Christmas, new years eve.. then bam 2010!! Meaning, 10 years since I graduated high school.. Thats weird.. My early twenties were a success.. dont know what happened after I turned 24.
Went to the coffee shop open mic! Hung out with John, John, Evy.. talked a lil with RJ, Luke, Katy.. I was having a good time.. Then outta no where.. All those seasonal ales started looking really good.. All I wanted was a fucken beer! I hate when that feeling kicks in.. Then Evy starts talking about a party over at the queer house.. And Im thinking about going with her... Then I question, "Can I really go without drinking?" Then we all head down to Reyna's and everyone is taking shots of whiskey.. And my mind is going.. FUCK!!!!
So yeah.. thats the first time thats happened in oh so long.. So, I called Jarod.. And then the feeling passed.. So I stayed and hung out til open mic was over.. Didn't drink..
Came home.. all was well, getting ready to read and go to bed.. Then the fucken feeling comes back.. then I see on a friends page Olivia's new facebook picture.. of her and her girlfriend.. And the NEED to drink came back.. I fucken hate that feeling... Its almost like.. I can't breath.. and anxiety surges through me.. And im like fuck I dont want to drink.. I dont need to drink.. GO AWAY!
I dont know if that feeling ever goes away??
Anyhow.. saw that amtrak is hiring for another position, so, I applied... Not giving up on this damn amtrak thing.. I think I was BORN to work on a train!! =)
Almost done with my 4th step.. Damn, there are a lot of people out there who have pissed me off.. but im sure there are even more that I've pissed off..
Fingers crossed that magic will happen soon.. Getting bored again.. and when Im bored.. nothing good comes out of it.. Christmas, new years eve.. then bam 2010!! Meaning, 10 years since I graduated high school.. Thats weird.. My early twenties were a success.. dont know what happened after I turned 24.