Blahzay Blahzay....
Grieving stages of a break-up are Gods lil joke on us!
The beginning where it all seems sooo logical why the break-up needs to occur but also feeling all the pain of what seems like "rejection" or the "oh my God no one will ever love me like that.. I will never connect like that again" DENIAL that this is really happening......Slowly I start figuring out that YES THIS IS HAPPENING.....This is usually where I start discovering all the reasons why the break up was all my fault... Im constantly hit with lil Epiphanies throughout the day in regard to everything that I did wrong (fancied or real)I get a case of the "Could've would've should've".. I start texting, apologizing for shit I did months ago..(usually in hopes that they will want to try and work things out again) Then somewhere in all that emotional hell anger starts manifesting.."That Fucken Bitch!!" I know with me, I start figuring out all the reasons why I should hate them.. (As if hating them somehow makes the pain go away??) Eventually I stop hating and start feeling all the reasons why I should be grateful for who they were in my life.... Sometimes this gratitude makes me feel as if I NEED them back again.... This doesn't last long because at the same time that Im in the process of grieving their absence.. I have also been living my life.... New routines, new forms of friendships.. The days have past and in their passing, I have managed to live life.. And then I recognize that the new life I've taken on has only come because of the break up.. ANd again, I start seeing exactly why the break-up needed to happen.. and by this phase, Im no longer missing them, hating them, NEEDING them.. And I can finally LET GO.. Which is what I set out to do in the very begining.. I guess the emotions just needed to be processed before I could..
WORD!!!!!!!!!!
Im soo happy this whole breaking up process is over with....
=)
Oooo... And for the first time EVER I find myself asking the question... Why were we ever together to begin with??? I've never thought this about anyone... In some ways.. the fact that im thinking that..has REALLY finalized the "its done" process
The beginning where it all seems sooo logical why the break-up needs to occur but also feeling all the pain of what seems like "rejection" or the "oh my God no one will ever love me like that.. I will never connect like that again" DENIAL that this is really happening......Slowly I start figuring out that YES THIS IS HAPPENING.....This is usually where I start discovering all the reasons why the break up was all my fault... Im constantly hit with lil Epiphanies throughout the day in regard to everything that I did wrong (fancied or real)I get a case of the "Could've would've should've".. I start texting, apologizing for shit I did months ago..(usually in hopes that they will want to try and work things out again) Then somewhere in all that emotional hell anger starts manifesting.."That Fucken Bitch!!" I know with me, I start figuring out all the reasons why I should hate them.. (As if hating them somehow makes the pain go away??) Eventually I stop hating and start feeling all the reasons why I should be grateful for who they were in my life.... Sometimes this gratitude makes me feel as if I NEED them back again.... This doesn't last long because at the same time that Im in the process of grieving their absence.. I have also been living my life.... New routines, new forms of friendships.. The days have past and in their passing, I have managed to live life.. And then I recognize that the new life I've taken on has only come because of the break up.. ANd again, I start seeing exactly why the break-up needed to happen.. and by this phase, Im no longer missing them, hating them, NEEDING them.. And I can finally LET GO.. Which is what I set out to do in the very begining.. I guess the emotions just needed to be processed before I could..
WORD!!!!!!!!!!
Im soo happy this whole breaking up process is over with....
=)
Oooo... And for the first time EVER I find myself asking the question... Why were we ever together to begin with??? I've never thought this about anyone... In some ways.. the fact that im thinking that..has REALLY finalized the "its done" process