Trying shake these feelings....
I've been so depressed these last few days.. I stay up all night.. Unable to sleep.. I sleep a few hours during the day.. My mind is going a million thoughts a second...
The other nite I actually told my Mom that its her fault that my life is so fucked up.. If she hadn't abandon me as a child, then I wouldn't be so fucked in the head.. And because she did do what she did, Im permantly broken... Then my Aunt came over and asked why I don't blame any of this on my father.. I told her, "Really, you want me to blame this on your dead brother?"
Of course I don't really blame either one of my parents.. BUT sometimes it seems so easy to blame them.. I do believe that Im fucked emotionally because of all the abandonment issues... BUT.. I am an adult now and I have to take responsibility for my life.. Im just frustrated.. 27 years old and nothing to show for the last 10 years.. Every relationship has been a dead end.. Every job a dead end.. I just want stability somewhere..
The other nite I actually told my Mom that its her fault that my life is so fucked up.. If she hadn't abandon me as a child, then I wouldn't be so fucked in the head.. And because she did do what she did, Im permantly broken... Then my Aunt came over and asked why I don't blame any of this on my father.. I told her, "Really, you want me to blame this on your dead brother?"
Of course I don't really blame either one of my parents.. BUT sometimes it seems so easy to blame them.. I do believe that Im fucked emotionally because of all the abandonment issues... BUT.. I am an adult now and I have to take responsibility for my life.. Im just frustrated.. 27 years old and nothing to show for the last 10 years.. Every relationship has been a dead end.. Every job a dead end.. I just want stability somewhere..