Portland Came to town...
Today Shayla and Jen came to Parkland and we met for coffee. And it all happened in perfect timing! Talking with them helped me put things into perspective. Reminded me of what I set out to do months ago.... They are both such beautiful spirits and hanging out with them today totally inspired me to get going and make magic happen in my life. Shayla has been inspiring and encouraging me on the daily since back in October. I had put myself in a number of sordid situations since October and Im so grateful for the many "therapy sessions" and words of wisdom that girl has given me. From girl problems to drinking problems she totally helped me out! And she didn't hold back either... She told me the fucken truth. I'd bitch and cry to her about whatever seemingly tragic event was happening in my life and she'd say... "yeah, they're so fucked up BUT you're just as fucked up because you allow them to treat you that way. " Whatever the situation was, she was quick to let me know when I was in the wrong and what things I needed to change in my life....If you're reading this, Thanks Shayla I appreciate it!
The creative intelligence of the universe always has such perfect timing in manifesting amazing things in my life....
This last week was spent in a meditative state. I felt very tuned in with life and all the surrounding beauty. In doing so, I had a few realizations about my life...
One of the most beneficial revelations was in regard to my goals... Prior to getting sober, I was all about heading to Portland. Being intensely inspired, I actively sought employment, schooling and housing. I had even networked with a number of like minded people- people who enjoy the same simple pleasures in life that I enjoy.. Writing, Poetry, Theater, Meditation, Spirituality.. I was attempting to construct a healthy life for myself so by the time I made the move, everything would be in place... The only thing that I needed to do for myself before heading down there, was get clean and sober.... And heres where I got hung up
I came to A.A to get well... To create a healthy mental and emotional foundation for myself... I desired to get well so I could be a daughter to my mother, a sister to my siblings, and a friend to my friends... I needed to get well so I could have healthy relationships with the people who are in my life.... ULTIMATELY, I got sober so I could have a life worth living! Truth is, Im worthless as a drunk... I didn't intend on going to A.A to meet a new bestfriend or fall for a girl. But, these things happened... And as they evolved, deepened, and expanded, I lost sight of the path that I was on.... BUT.. Its all good.. Now that I recognize this, I can easily get back to what I set out to do months ago....... Make the fucken goals take the fucken step needed to achieve it!! And in the mean time, don't get distracted!! =)
The creative intelligence of the universe always has such perfect timing in manifesting amazing things in my life....
This last week was spent in a meditative state. I felt very tuned in with life and all the surrounding beauty. In doing so, I had a few realizations about my life...
One of the most beneficial revelations was in regard to my goals... Prior to getting sober, I was all about heading to Portland. Being intensely inspired, I actively sought employment, schooling and housing. I had even networked with a number of like minded people- people who enjoy the same simple pleasures in life that I enjoy.. Writing, Poetry, Theater, Meditation, Spirituality.. I was attempting to construct a healthy life for myself so by the time I made the move, everything would be in place... The only thing that I needed to do for myself before heading down there, was get clean and sober.... And heres where I got hung up
I came to A.A to get well... To create a healthy mental and emotional foundation for myself... I desired to get well so I could be a daughter to my mother, a sister to my siblings, and a friend to my friends... I needed to get well so I could have healthy relationships with the people who are in my life.... ULTIMATELY, I got sober so I could have a life worth living! Truth is, Im worthless as a drunk... I didn't intend on going to A.A to meet a new bestfriend or fall for a girl. But, these things happened... And as they evolved, deepened, and expanded, I lost sight of the path that I was on.... BUT.. Its all good.. Now that I recognize this, I can easily get back to what I set out to do months ago....... Make the fucken goals take the fucken step needed to achieve it!! And in the mean time, don't get distracted!! =)