❲ 01st angel; VOICE ❳
[ once he's further examined his surroundings , Kaworu settles down, exploring the functions of the device and familiarizing himself with as many aspects of it as he can. the locked section of it raised a brow once he tried to open it but he isn't very concerned presently, instead taking stock of the other pilgrims to this foreign prison
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We've had that part of this discussion before, haven't we, Izaya-san?
[ a smile quickly spreads across Kaworu's lips-- haha, this is already too amusing. there's too many possibilities! ]
You've discarded it before-- but hasn't that been proven wrong to you, by the Twelve's existence? Don't you think they could also be housed under that "general sense"? Faith in yourself...is that what you're saying? In your proof, your ideals, or something like that...almost like you're your own God, in a way. It's fascinating to contemplate.
--and yes, it's only logical to think so of myself, as well.
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We have, you're right. But I didn't want to leave anything out. There hasn't been any proof that the Twelve are omniscient, nothing concrete. It doesn't seem like it could be a coincidence for all of us to have the same or similar dreams but there could be an explanation for it that doesn't necessarily relate to godliness. Though, in truth, I do believe. And I think you knew that.
[ God in the general sense, gods... they were elusive things. it was irrational to place his disbelief on something that couldn't be proven but in the end, it boiled down to disbelief in that lack of proof -- ...and in fear.You'd be right, should such a nonsensical belief be proven to me. Even still, perhaps I'm too stubborn in my doubt to truly believe in anything. But I'd like to very much. And if I could see it for certain, I'd almost be at peace. For the time being, the only thing that truly exists as my God is myself, and my binds to this... to my world and the blood running through my veins ( ... )
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[ elusive indeed. how many scientists, test subjects, taboo and inhumane methods might have been employed in order to collect Adam's soul into his current form? that's his proof, if anything. ]
I'm surprised you'd like to, in all honesty. Maybe I guessed wrong, but I'd previously believed you to be the type who doesn't want to acknowledge something having the potential to be so entirely and irrevocably above you-- unless that's alright, given it's proven to be true?
[ he continues without pause for the answer, however, voice returning to neutral-- though Kaworu would rather let the brunt of his bitterness be heard.My faith is something of a conundrum. It's hard for me to explain to you without a plethora of other things, but-- it is more of a fact to me, rather than an idea I would necessarily place myself under the influence of...rather similar to our discussion on the idea of "destiny ( ... )
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what is his faith, though? maya-nee would tell him to have faith in others, wouldn't she; she's always been the type to believe that people are inherently good. and jun thinks so too, because isn't goodness subjective to following one's own dreams anyway? but there are times when he's not sure he has any faith in people, either. perhaps because he's been failed by them so many times, especially by the people who gave him life to begin with. ]
That's a strangely personal question. Why do you want to know?
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...if he even thought about things like luck in the first place, that is. ]
Is it?
[ he sounds surprised, honestly. ]
I'm simply curious. After all, there must be a plethora of reasons for everyone here to abide by the Twelve's will-- or even to decline to do so, and I find myself wondering what those reasons might be. If they're personal, I suppose the number of reasons could be even greater, should your words prove true...in which case, I find myself even more intrigued.
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...though if it meant a ticket home? he'd do whatever it took. painfully, begrudgingly. otherwise, he's entirely unsure how to approach this. ]I don't have faith in these Twelve, if that's what you want to know. Being asked to bear the fate of the cosmos makes us nothing more than ( ... )
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You're right-- we seem to be nothing but toys, or workers, as far as everything is concerned at the moment. I suppose the truest example of that is, if someone-- anyone here asked to return home; that they couldn't abide to this practice of worship...do you suppose they would be actually be granted leave? I doubt it. If they have such amazing power, it could be said it's only a matter of time before one bends to their wills by force.
[ he doesn't mean this badly, though-- says it like he's reading off the news, or something. it isn't much of a concern for him. ]
Your dreams? I see. So, for these friends you have faith in, and in order to have the chance again to attain those dreams-- would you bow to Their demands in order to do so?
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What does faith have to do with it? If you're bound to a place or a person with no means of escape but to engage in what is dictated worship, would you not take part in it for that means of escape regardless of believing in the source of your worship? I don't know what I believe. I'm skeptical at best. But there are things I would sacrifice those inclinations of beliefs for; there are no boundaries I would not cross to reach the place I belong.
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If you don't believe anything, how can you know which path leads forward?
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I assumed you meant faith in the Twelve "gods," in which case I would attest that faith in them is not required. Faith in myself is a different matter. As far as that is concerned, the latter -- the weight of the cosmos -- is not my prerogative. Whether it's faith that drives me or not, it's for my own life... for the sake of someone else.
I don't know about not believing in anything at all but moving forward does not rely only on the path presented to us here.
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[ well, the idea of "faith" in the way he's describing it could easily be swapped with "obsession"-- in the way that, should you devote yourself so single-mindedly and be lead on so deeply by someone else-- why, they might as well be called God, as well as your religion. ]
You're right, it doesn't. But in order for you to find those paths, you must be held by some sort of system of belief, whether it's in yourself or the strength of others...right? So it's a selfish reason, for you, rather than any act of heroism.
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And who are you to question others. If you can say words like 'faith' with any straight face, you're already the gods' toy.
[ he's almost tempted to leave it there, but after a pause, a slow inhalation of breath, he goes on: ]
Faith has nothing to do with it. Those fake gods might frame their desires with terms like 'belief' and 'worship' - no doubt to inspire others to consider their demands something less than degrading. And didn't you accept it quickly?
Bandying those words around won't make them gods. They're powerful enough to bring us here, but not to make it a pleasant place? [ a little snort. ] What a stupid notion. What sort of fool would believe it? A god is a god, a being without limits. What have they done to give me faith that they ( ... )
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--ah. this voice sounds rather different from the tone of his other replies, doesn't it? if anything, it only makes him more interested...! what a strong, sure stance he seems to possess.
leaning forward, device cradled in his hands excitedly, Kaworu responds with a calm tone: ]
Why, I have this device in my hand and a network of people willing to respond to me-- isn't that enough for me to be able to do so? As for whether I am the gods' plaything-- I would think that's a moot point considering all of our placement here.
I think the point and proving of their power is just that- they may call themselves whatever they like as long as they have power over us, correct? It isn't an issue of whether I myself agree with it. I can't prove it either way, just as I cannot disprove your words.
[ a beat-- Kaworu takes on a more amiable note, stifling a laugh ]
You realize you've just answered my question, right, stranger?
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that gets a strangled sound of aggravation out of him. he'd played right into the question in his tirade, and hearing the obvious sound of amusement from the other side... his tail puffs and thumps with irritation and his ears, unseen, flatten against his skull.
well. he can't let that stand. ]
Don't consider us so similar based on that alone. Being at the mercy of the gods is a choice you made the moment you fell to their terms. I am not their pawn, and I'd no sooner worship them than worship you.
... Belief in their godhood is beside the point. Even if their omnipotence is later proven, why would I permit them such power? Do they think simply being some deity is enough to make me bow their head?... It's the deities of my own land that let it go to ruin.
[ and like he fixed it there, he'll fix it here, if necessary. ]
Do you understand, now, why faith is meaningless?
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Oh, we aren't similar, are we? Were you able to avoid that dream, then? You surely weren't able to avoid being brought here, and I doubt that if they truly had the powers to do those things...would they really lack the power to force you to ingratiate yourself to them?
Perhaps they aren't gods, but they still have power over you. That much is clear.
[ as if to dismiss the tenseness in the conversation, he waves his hand to himself ]
Ah, but don't misunderstand me! I won't cower in fear, and I certainly won't pray to them as my own saviors. I'm not bowing to them with my consciousness, only acknowledging the obvious. If I ignored that, I wouldn't be a blasphemer, but a fool.
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Who says that faith has got to do with anything?
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[ wow rude ]
You don't think it does? Of course, I don't mean faith in the strict sense of a god or something of the like. I mean in a general sense, such as something you hold yourself by regardless of what happens in your life. You have something like that, don't you?
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Not really.
There's nothing in particular like that.
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...are you really so aimless?
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