(no subject)
Say hello and I will get back to you.
And I return from State College. I remember it being much cooler than it turned out to be, but/because it was mostly lame. There was lots of booze and loads of Caitlin Durante and at one point I flashed a small party. We were almost arrested and I don't like police officers. Romancing the Stone is by far the best movie ever created, okay, that's a lie. And Beth Barsky is pretty effing awesome. I can't wait to be bff. This one is true.
I'm glad to be back. If only for the free food and surplus isolation. I hate my father. Today he tried to convince me I don't have any black friends. I told him he was the stupidest person I would ever meet. He walked away. And my sister has too many opinions. Although I love her for not selling out and getting married to my caveman brother-in-law who isn't actually an in-law. My mom is pretty awesome but she loves to talk about money and how we don't have any. It's unsettling. Sis, maw, and JT saw The Pursuit of Happyness today. There's a reason Happyness is spelled incorrectly although it was pretty dumb and not significant enough to make a movie title. It should have been spelled correctly. I think it would have made more sense. Or maybe if it was like this:
/ \
The Pursuit of Happiness
The Pursuit of Happyness
\ /
Anyway, Will Smith is by far the best entertainer the world, or America, or our generation, or just for me, has ever seen, despite his absence from tabloid gossip and MIB(two). Although I recently rewatched MIB(one) and it is, indeed, a superior film. The dialogue is divine. I would quote it all day if only my memory worked that way. I also like Tom Cruise. He's a great actor, too. And he's a scientologist. Why is it okay for John Travolta to be a scientologist and not Tom Cruise? John Travolta is fat, old, and ugly. Tom Cruise is none of these things. I like Tom Cruise. If I were into jesus (lowercased) or god (lowercased) or anything of the sort I would definitely wish Tom Cruise were my Godfather (uppercased). Family get togethers would be so interesting.
I also don't like my cousin Jennifer. We used to be best friends if only for our mutual obsession for Power Rangers and Jurassic Park. I am still obsessed with Power Rangers and Jurassic Park. She has moved on to other things like car payments and country line-dancing. We don't get along. Also, everytime I see her she tries to save me. Not in a superman kind of way. THAT'D BE SWEET. No, she tries to save my mortal soul from eternal damnation. No thank you. We're hanging out this weekend and going to a bar where they allow people who are underage to come in and dance, I mean suffer... because they aren't old enough to drink, I mean enjoy themselves.
I did all the cooking this weekend. I sort of want to be a cook when I grow up. I also watched a lot of movies and then passed judgement on these movies. I also want to do that when I grow up. Here's the plan:
Step 1) Pick a minor and graduate. The minor is optional.
Step 2) Go to (a) grad school or (b) law school whichever picks me.
Step 3a) Graduate grad school.
Step 3b) Graduate law school.
Step 4a) Be a successful teacher and move on to reshape the curriculum for the entire country and eventually the world.
Step 4b) Be a successful lawyer who eventually gets his own reality tv show.
And then the options stop, but only for a second.
Step 5) Retire.
Step 6) Be bored of being retired.
And then the options restart, but only for a second (because all plots lead to death).
Step 7a) Open a hip, trendy bar and become an alcoholic.
Step 7b) Start a hip, trendy movie column and become a coke dealer.
All plots lead to death.
Step 8) Die.
And this one is just for fun.
Step 9) Haunt Damian.
Okay, I'm going to become a yoga master now. Ciao.
And I return from State College. I remember it being much cooler than it turned out to be, but/because it was mostly lame. There was lots of booze and loads of Caitlin Durante and at one point I flashed a small party. We were almost arrested and I don't like police officers. Romancing the Stone is by far the best movie ever created, okay, that's a lie. And Beth Barsky is pretty effing awesome. I can't wait to be bff. This one is true.
I'm glad to be back. If only for the free food and surplus isolation. I hate my father. Today he tried to convince me I don't have any black friends. I told him he was the stupidest person I would ever meet. He walked away. And my sister has too many opinions. Although I love her for not selling out and getting married to my caveman brother-in-law who isn't actually an in-law. My mom is pretty awesome but she loves to talk about money and how we don't have any. It's unsettling. Sis, maw, and JT saw The Pursuit of Happyness today. There's a reason Happyness is spelled incorrectly although it was pretty dumb and not significant enough to make a movie title. It should have been spelled correctly. I think it would have made more sense. Or maybe if it was like this:
/ \
The Pursuit of Happiness
The Pursuit of Happyness
\ /
Anyway, Will Smith is by far the best entertainer the world, or America, or our generation, or just for me, has ever seen, despite his absence from tabloid gossip and MIB(two). Although I recently rewatched MIB(one) and it is, indeed, a superior film. The dialogue is divine. I would quote it all day if only my memory worked that way. I also like Tom Cruise. He's a great actor, too. And he's a scientologist. Why is it okay for John Travolta to be a scientologist and not Tom Cruise? John Travolta is fat, old, and ugly. Tom Cruise is none of these things. I like Tom Cruise. If I were into jesus (lowercased) or god (lowercased) or anything of the sort I would definitely wish Tom Cruise were my Godfather (uppercased). Family get togethers would be so interesting.
I also don't like my cousin Jennifer. We used to be best friends if only for our mutual obsession for Power Rangers and Jurassic Park. I am still obsessed with Power Rangers and Jurassic Park. She has moved on to other things like car payments and country line-dancing. We don't get along. Also, everytime I see her she tries to save me. Not in a superman kind of way. THAT'D BE SWEET. No, she tries to save my mortal soul from eternal damnation. No thank you. We're hanging out this weekend and going to a bar where they allow people who are underage to come in and dance, I mean suffer... because they aren't old enough to drink, I mean enjoy themselves.
I did all the cooking this weekend. I sort of want to be a cook when I grow up. I also watched a lot of movies and then passed judgement on these movies. I also want to do that when I grow up. Here's the plan:
Step 1) Pick a minor and graduate. The minor is optional.
Step 2) Go to (a) grad school or (b) law school whichever picks me.
Step 3a) Graduate grad school.
Step 3b) Graduate law school.
Step 4a) Be a successful teacher and move on to reshape the curriculum for the entire country and eventually the world.
Step 4b) Be a successful lawyer who eventually gets his own reality tv show.
And then the options stop, but only for a second.
Step 5) Retire.
Step 6) Be bored of being retired.
And then the options restart, but only for a second (because all plots lead to death).
Step 7a) Open a hip, trendy bar and become an alcoholic.
Step 7b) Start a hip, trendy movie column and become a coke dealer.
All plots lead to death.
Step 8) Die.
And this one is just for fun.
Step 9) Haunt Damian.
Okay, I'm going to become a yoga master now. Ciao.