Stir Crazy and a Metaphor
It's the end of January. It's cold. I'm bored with everything. My "No Sweets" resolution is over and I want to eat 12 cream puffs. But I won't. I won't really do anything about my boredom except grin and bear it.
I notice sometimes when there's a lot going in my life but it's all the same monotonous bull then I start looking for ways to shake things up. I realized that I look for ways to create imbalances because it gives me something to fix. It's why I imagine I like getting piercings some times. It's nice to have something to take care of. I have to fight the urge to go backwards. Because if I just mess things up to fix them then I never get to the next level, whatever that is.
I think part of me is scared of going to the next level.The level that I'm at is too familiar. I know all the cheats. It's simpler to keep on messing up and going back to the beginning of the level. I gotta learn to not be a coward and just charge forward. New levels are harder but I guess it can be fun to learn how to get through them.I keep on thinking about Mario Bros. It's the only video games I've had a sustained interest in and I think it's because I can keep doing the same levels over and over again until I get good enough to go to the next. A lot of times I'd have to watch other people play the levels in order for me to know what to do. But eventually, I got good enough that I could just figure it out on my own, at least enough that I could beat the level.
I know life isn't like a video game. It isn't so straight forward. But I just wonder, if life were a video game, how close am I to beating this level?
I notice sometimes when there's a lot going in my life but it's all the same monotonous bull then I start looking for ways to shake things up. I realized that I look for ways to create imbalances because it gives me something to fix. It's why I imagine I like getting piercings some times. It's nice to have something to take care of. I have to fight the urge to go backwards. Because if I just mess things up to fix them then I never get to the next level, whatever that is.
I think part of me is scared of going to the next level.The level that I'm at is too familiar. I know all the cheats. It's simpler to keep on messing up and going back to the beginning of the level. I gotta learn to not be a coward and just charge forward. New levels are harder but I guess it can be fun to learn how to get through them.I keep on thinking about Mario Bros. It's the only video games I've had a sustained interest in and I think it's because I can keep doing the same levels over and over again until I get good enough to go to the next. A lot of times I'd have to watch other people play the levels in order for me to know what to do. But eventually, I got good enough that I could just figure it out on my own, at least enough that I could beat the level.
I know life isn't like a video game. It isn't so straight forward. But I just wonder, if life were a video game, how close am I to beating this level?