Economics, comparisons, choice, and (un) happiness
About a week ago I downloaded the audio of a lecture entitled "How to Do Precisely the Right Thing at All Possible Times" (23MB mp3, 50 minutes), by Daniel Gilbert.
It's a very entertaining, very interesting lecture. I won't recap the whole thing, but did want to hit a few highlights because they spoke to me in the context of people and relationships (as well as foolish consumerism).
Turns out that when comparing options, people generally do it wrong. That is to say, they compare against inaccurate criteria. Often this means comparing against whatever else is in the store or on the shelf (or walking down the street), rather than against the actual context of use.
Insight: The above is why I generally congratulate people on break-ups. I assume that if they broke up there was good reason for it, want to support them in doing the right thing, etc. But I also realize that I'm comparing the state of being single to the state of being in a (real, available) sub-optimal relationship. On the other hand, the broken-up person is often comparing the state of being single to the state of being in a (not available) good relationship which wasn't actually an option in that situation.*
The other bit that struck me was the way people select which item to acquire or discard. We seem to select to have from many options based on the assets of a thing, and discard from many options based on the liabilities of a thing. Sometimes the same thing has the most assets and the most liabilities, making it the item we select to have and the item we select to discard. Sounds familiar... ( Parent post.)
While we're on the topic of choice, here's 8 minutes on why choice makes people unhappy. (Short answer: because every unselected option represents a potential loss. More choices = more potential to "miss out.")
So yeah. Go listen. Good stuff to occupy the brain on the commute, or somesuch.
Here's the happy note to finish it off with. I was relating bits of the lecture to a friend and quoted Gilbert saying "Hello, it's what 'favorite' means! It's the one I will like more!" He replied, "that's why I'm happy with monogamy; I have my favorite."** Very very sweet. Realizing (choosing!) that you have your favorite is the key to happiness, I think.
* I don't mean to discount the emotion involved, the sentimentality and nostalgia and loss. This is a simplification for illustrative purposes.
** Aside to C: he's talking about you. Go give him a big hug. :-)
It's a very entertaining, very interesting lecture. I won't recap the whole thing, but did want to hit a few highlights because they spoke to me in the context of people and relationships (as well as foolish consumerism).
Turns out that when comparing options, people generally do it wrong. That is to say, they compare against inaccurate criteria. Often this means comparing against whatever else is in the store or on the shelf (or walking down the street), rather than against the actual context of use.
Insight: The above is why I generally congratulate people on break-ups. I assume that if they broke up there was good reason for it, want to support them in doing the right thing, etc. But I also realize that I'm comparing the state of being single to the state of being in a (real, available) sub-optimal relationship. On the other hand, the broken-up person is often comparing the state of being single to the state of being in a (not available) good relationship which wasn't actually an option in that situation.*
The other bit that struck me was the way people select which item to acquire or discard. We seem to select to have from many options based on the assets of a thing, and discard from many options based on the liabilities of a thing. Sometimes the same thing has the most assets and the most liabilities, making it the item we select to have and the item we select to discard. Sounds familiar... ( Parent post.)
While we're on the topic of choice, here's 8 minutes on why choice makes people unhappy. (Short answer: because every unselected option represents a potential loss. More choices = more potential to "miss out.")
So yeah. Go listen. Good stuff to occupy the brain on the commute, or somesuch.
Here's the happy note to finish it off with. I was relating bits of the lecture to a friend and quoted Gilbert saying "Hello, it's what 'favorite' means! It's the one I will like more!" He replied, "that's why I'm happy with monogamy; I have my favorite."** Very very sweet. Realizing (choosing!) that you have your favorite is the key to happiness, I think.
* I don't mean to discount the emotion involved, the sentimentality and nostalgia and loss. This is a simplification for illustrative purposes.
** Aside to C: he's talking about you. Go give him a big hug. :-)