this is why you are mad.
dear self:
good morning.
you are angry.
you should still be angry, although after sleeping your mind has probably become rational and forgiving. you are not a pushover, but you get over things much too quickly. holding grudges teaches lessons. this is why you are angry:
1. rich gets mad and takes it out on you, while lying about his anger and consequently lashing out even further.
2. rich's bouts of anger last much longer for reasons much less valid than your own (and when do you get mad? never... your anger towards erica lasted all of 5 seconds).
3. rich was angry because you were talking. to people. people talk with people. is that a hard concept to grasp?
4. the guys talking to you begun conversations.. because you're a girl.. you can't help that. they're dumb guys and you're a girl that's good at pool. you made no effort in talking to them previously and showed no actual interest in them. you were merely being nice to them, not a bitch, because you are not a bitch.
5. rich doesn't like going to the pool hall with you. you "distract" him because you talk to people.
6. rich thinks you are a slut and has said that on numerous occasions.
7. rich treats you like shit 80% of the time you are together.
8. it is not uncommon for rich to tell you to be quiet (shh, shut up)
9. rich does not appreciate you or the things you do, he only takes advantage of you. for example: a) christmas-- he got you nothing; you spent five hours on a miniature replica of a pool hall and $100 on cheapcues.com. b) he makes NO effort most of the time to please you... instead you fall all over him to please him and receive no thanks... ETC x 100.
11. rich acts annoyed with you for no reason, or just if he's in a bad mood. for example: sometimes rich completely ignores you, and then you tell him not to, and he replies all annoyed as fuck like there's a problem with you.
12. rich also tells you you only want attention and lumps you in with his "image" of girls.
13. when you don't do something you say you will do, do something you say you won't, or otherwise change your mind / have a change of heart, you are "lying". for example: you said you quit smoking, then decided you didn't want to anymore. therefore you were "lying to him" when you said you quit, when really all you did was change your mind about quitting. another example: you said you wanted to go to get your laptop from the car to work on his cue website YOU ARE MAKING FOR HIM FOR FREE thanyouverymuch. when he asks later if you worked on the website, you didn't. therefore you were "lying" before when you said you intended to work on it, because you didn't do it. ETC x 100.
14. rich shows NO SIGN OF AFFECTION for you around other people. it's like you're poisonous in public.
15. rich still hasn't told his best friend he is dating you, and his relationship status is still set to single on both myspace and facebook.
16. when you are mad, you are afraid of upsetting him by being mad and afraid of doing/saying anything too drastic to scare him off. when rich is mad, you ride your bike 45 minutes to his house, only to be greeted by a locked door and eventually a rich that uninvites you from being on his property.
so self, you need to stop forgiving so easily. it's absolutely ridiculous how much shit he's giving you that you have to deal with on a regular basis. stop being so nice to him, and stop falling all over the place to please him. he doesn't give a shit. and even if he does, you're better and more powerful than that. so, seriously, suck it up.
bye.
renee
good morning.
you are angry.
you should still be angry, although after sleeping your mind has probably become rational and forgiving. you are not a pushover, but you get over things much too quickly. holding grudges teaches lessons. this is why you are angry:
1. rich gets mad and takes it out on you, while lying about his anger and consequently lashing out even further.
2. rich's bouts of anger last much longer for reasons much less valid than your own (and when do you get mad? never... your anger towards erica lasted all of 5 seconds).
3. rich was angry because you were talking. to people. people talk with people. is that a hard concept to grasp?
4. the guys talking to you begun conversations.. because you're a girl.. you can't help that. they're dumb guys and you're a girl that's good at pool. you made no effort in talking to them previously and showed no actual interest in them. you were merely being nice to them, not a bitch, because you are not a bitch.
5. rich doesn't like going to the pool hall with you. you "distract" him because you talk to people.
6. rich thinks you are a slut and has said that on numerous occasions.
7. rich treats you like shit 80% of the time you are together.
8. it is not uncommon for rich to tell you to be quiet (shh, shut up)
9. rich does not appreciate you or the things you do, he only takes advantage of you. for example: a) christmas-- he got you nothing; you spent five hours on a miniature replica of a pool hall and $100 on cheapcues.com. b) he makes NO effort most of the time to please you... instead you fall all over him to please him and receive no thanks... ETC x 100.
11. rich acts annoyed with you for no reason, or just if he's in a bad mood. for example: sometimes rich completely ignores you, and then you tell him not to, and he replies all annoyed as fuck like there's a problem with you.
12. rich also tells you you only want attention and lumps you in with his "image" of girls.
13. when you don't do something you say you will do, do something you say you won't, or otherwise change your mind / have a change of heart, you are "lying". for example: you said you quit smoking, then decided you didn't want to anymore. therefore you were "lying to him" when you said you quit, when really all you did was change your mind about quitting. another example: you said you wanted to go to get your laptop from the car to work on his cue website YOU ARE MAKING FOR HIM FOR FREE thanyouverymuch. when he asks later if you worked on the website, you didn't. therefore you were "lying" before when you said you intended to work on it, because you didn't do it. ETC x 100.
14. rich shows NO SIGN OF AFFECTION for you around other people. it's like you're poisonous in public.
15. rich still hasn't told his best friend he is dating you, and his relationship status is still set to single on both myspace and facebook.
16. when you are mad, you are afraid of upsetting him by being mad and afraid of doing/saying anything too drastic to scare him off. when rich is mad, you ride your bike 45 minutes to his house, only to be greeted by a locked door and eventually a rich that uninvites you from being on his property.
so self, you need to stop forgiving so easily. it's absolutely ridiculous how much shit he's giving you that you have to deal with on a regular basis. stop being so nice to him, and stop falling all over the place to please him. he doesn't give a shit. and even if he does, you're better and more powerful than that. so, seriously, suck it up.
bye.
renee