Married With Singles
[rant]
I'm tired of the artificial division we make between singles, married people, and people with kids. I'm married, I love the hell out of Kate, but I'm perfectly capable of interacting with people on a one-on-one basis. When I got married, I didn't abandon everything of my own identity to become Katematt, I just became a member of something important. I still need friendships with people, and socially-approved "couples' activities" just don't cut it sometimes.
I don't like the way that single people automatically assume they can't hang out with us (or just me) because we're married, especially if there's other married people around at the same time. I understand you're single, sometimes it sucks, but why would you let that take away from your ability to have one-on-one frienships with people? It's not like Kate and I drop trou and do it on the coffee table at group gatherings, or even withdraw and focus on each other exclusively. Most of the time we're around people, we're not even sitting together - we're talking to people we don't have sitting one room away during 90% of our free time.
It really makes me frustrated that singles just can't cope with two people doing something as unintrusive as sitting together during a movie. I know that most everyone wants to be in a relationship, I'm being sensitive to that, please be sensitive to me as well. I didn't get married to sacrifice all my old friendships, I just made a commitment to put one friend above all the others.
And while I'm on the subject, Kate and I don't plan to have kids for a long, long time. We're not going to fit the "married with kids" role anytime soon either. "Traditional" just never described us, and it probably never will.
[/rant]
I love you guys. I have some of the best friends in the world, and I don't ever want to lose any of them, especially over preconceptions that aren't really true. I might rant more often than some, but hopefully that can assure you I'm upfront and honest about things that irk me, rather than hiding it and bottling it up.
I'm tired of the artificial division we make between singles, married people, and people with kids. I'm married, I love the hell out of Kate, but I'm perfectly capable of interacting with people on a one-on-one basis. When I got married, I didn't abandon everything of my own identity to become Katematt, I just became a member of something important. I still need friendships with people, and socially-approved "couples' activities" just don't cut it sometimes.
I don't like the way that single people automatically assume they can't hang out with us (or just me) because we're married, especially if there's other married people around at the same time. I understand you're single, sometimes it sucks, but why would you let that take away from your ability to have one-on-one frienships with people? It's not like Kate and I drop trou and do it on the coffee table at group gatherings, or even withdraw and focus on each other exclusively. Most of the time we're around people, we're not even sitting together - we're talking to people we don't have sitting one room away during 90% of our free time.
It really makes me frustrated that singles just can't cope with two people doing something as unintrusive as sitting together during a movie. I know that most everyone wants to be in a relationship, I'm being sensitive to that, please be sensitive to me as well. I didn't get married to sacrifice all my old friendships, I just made a commitment to put one friend above all the others.
And while I'm on the subject, Kate and I don't plan to have kids for a long, long time. We're not going to fit the "married with kids" role anytime soon either. "Traditional" just never described us, and it probably never will.
[/rant]
I love you guys. I have some of the best friends in the world, and I don't ever want to lose any of them, especially over preconceptions that aren't really true. I might rant more often than some, but hopefully that can assure you I'm upfront and honest about things that irk me, rather than hiding it and bottling it up.