Reasons My M.A. Was A Miraculous Achievement
Recent events:
- Cleaned out computer with can of compressed air
- Read can, including the warning "contains bitterant to discourage inhalant abuse"
- Discovered turning can over produces ultra-cold liquid spray
- Sprayed shoe, touched shoe, noticed crackling sound
- Sprayed palm of hand, coldest thing ever
- Noticed palm continued to feel funny, frostbite?
- Thought of warmest, wettest thing available to wipe palm with
- Discarded idea of getting a warm washcloth, used tongue
- Discovered what concentrated "bitterant" tastes like
- Spit several times, gargled several times, taste ameliorated
- As a good-measure afterthought, wiped tongue with palm of hand
- Repeat
- Cleaned out computer with can of compressed air
- Read can, including the warning "contains bitterant to discourage inhalant abuse"
- Discovered turning can over produces ultra-cold liquid spray
- Sprayed shoe, touched shoe, noticed crackling sound
- Sprayed palm of hand, coldest thing ever
- Noticed palm continued to feel funny, frostbite?
- Thought of warmest, wettest thing available to wipe palm with
- Discarded idea of getting a warm washcloth, used tongue
- Discovered what concentrated "bitterant" tastes like
- Spit several times, gargled several times, taste ameliorated
- As a good-measure afterthought, wiped tongue with palm of hand
- Repeat