(no subject)
I love the way Buzzy sleeps. She sleeps hard, like a kitten or a very small child, heavy with total relaxation and with dreams. She fell asleep curled around me maybe an hour ago, which made me feel warmfuzzy and cozy, but still I can't seem to drift off.
Maybe it was the one cup of black tea I had today when I was breaking in the orange teapot Lois gave me for my birthday. Okay, I'm sure it's not still affecting me, but it did make me jumpy and stomach-achy all afternoon. My caffeine tolerance is embarrassingly low.
We are at B's family's house again for the weekend, since Steph had to make a trip up here anyway. I enjoy being able to spend so much time with them, walking the dog downtown, playing Pictionary. My new boss emailed me today and said he doesn't actually want me to start until February 2nd, so I will be poorer in money but richer in experience for the time being. I have a lot of plans for this coming week. I hope I can make the extra time count by deeply enjoying myself fully while also laying plans for the future.
B's family has introduced me to The Story of Painting, a BBC series written and hosted by Sister Wendy Beckett. I am enthralled, and not just because I happen to be getting fascinated by art history lately (though in a very casual, interest-driven, beavers-do-what? sort of way rather than the torturous way Buzzy had to learn it in school). But even if I didn't care about art, Sister Wendy is a joy to watch. You can tell that she is fully fulfilled as a human being, full of love for God and for life. Plus her analyses, apart from being educated, are heartfelt and beautiful; one feels that she cares deeply about each artist and will greet them in Heaven with a big hug and a hearty thanks for their contribution to Creation. I only hope I become half that good at spreading joy in my lifetime.
Funny that I have been exposed to so many positive examples of the monastic life just in the last few weeks (Monsigneur Bienvenu in Les Miserables, Thomas Merton, and now Sister Wendy). I do feel kind of attracted to such a lifestyle, in a way. I think I'm suited to it, particularly because it's so hard for me to achieve success on many conventional terms. But it's becoming increasingly clear to me that my love for Buzzy and hers for me is a sacred thing which I must never take for granted, a love that can multiply and create a bigger and bigger extended family as I have always wanted to do. So I guess monasticism is not my particular lot in life for now. But Thomas Merton says actual physical seclusion is not the important part anyway...
There was more in my head, but my typing is loud in this quiet house and I should try to go to bed finally. But right now, I feel excited about several things I am working toward and confident that I am, if not on exactly the right path, at least capable of finding my way.
Maybe it was the one cup of black tea I had today when I was breaking in the orange teapot Lois gave me for my birthday. Okay, I'm sure it's not still affecting me, but it did make me jumpy and stomach-achy all afternoon. My caffeine tolerance is embarrassingly low.
We are at B's family's house again for the weekend, since Steph had to make a trip up here anyway. I enjoy being able to spend so much time with them, walking the dog downtown, playing Pictionary. My new boss emailed me today and said he doesn't actually want me to start until February 2nd, so I will be poorer in money but richer in experience for the time being. I have a lot of plans for this coming week. I hope I can make the extra time count by deeply enjoying myself fully while also laying plans for the future.
B's family has introduced me to The Story of Painting, a BBC series written and hosted by Sister Wendy Beckett. I am enthralled, and not just because I happen to be getting fascinated by art history lately (though in a very casual, interest-driven, beavers-do-what? sort of way rather than the torturous way Buzzy had to learn it in school). But even if I didn't care about art, Sister Wendy is a joy to watch. You can tell that she is fully fulfilled as a human being, full of love for God and for life. Plus her analyses, apart from being educated, are heartfelt and beautiful; one feels that she cares deeply about each artist and will greet them in Heaven with a big hug and a hearty thanks for their contribution to Creation. I only hope I become half that good at spreading joy in my lifetime.
Funny that I have been exposed to so many positive examples of the monastic life just in the last few weeks (Monsigneur Bienvenu in Les Miserables, Thomas Merton, and now Sister Wendy). I do feel kind of attracted to such a lifestyle, in a way. I think I'm suited to it, particularly because it's so hard for me to achieve success on many conventional terms. But it's becoming increasingly clear to me that my love for Buzzy and hers for me is a sacred thing which I must never take for granted, a love that can multiply and create a bigger and bigger extended family as I have always wanted to do. So I guess monasticism is not my particular lot in life for now. But Thomas Merton says actual physical seclusion is not the important part anyway...
There was more in my head, but my typing is loud in this quiet house and I should try to go to bed finally. But right now, I feel excited about several things I am working toward and confident that I am, if not on exactly the right path, at least capable of finding my way.