[Fic]: To None But Us: Lies
Title: Lies
Fandom: D.Gray-Man
Rating: T
Genre: AngstCharacters/Pairing: Alma/Kanda.
Wordcount: 960
Disclaimer: Not mine. Hoshino-sensei owns D. Gray-Man!Summary: Lying doesn't suit Alma; Yuu could tell. Alma wished that he knew if Yuu was lying.
Note: Alma Arc. This is not for Yullen Week, but it falls within the verse that I'm writing these last few snippets in, so I thought it would be more logical to put it here than in a separate fic.
Yuu tightened his grip on Alma as they fell into the crumbling remains where he had his first mission with Allen. He shielded Alma as much as he could when they landed roughly in the sand, dust and dirt clogging his nose and mouth.
The gate shattered into pieces above them, scattering like falling snow.
"I'm glad," Alma gasped, his vision growing blurry but he tried to fight against it. He wanted to take as much of Yuu's image as he could with him. "I'm glad that you still have people waiting for you when I'm not here anymore."
Yuu was silent at first. Then, "Lying doesn't suit you."
"Ah, but I'm not….I'm not lying," Alma wanted to cry in shame because even though Yuu was here for him, he still wanted to be selfish.
"You don't have to lie," said Yuu. "Not to me, ever."
Alma wanted to hold Yuu, but he couldn't move his arms. Yuu must have understood because he gently wrapped one of Alma's arms around his shoulder.
Yuu.
He was going to lose Yuu, wasn't he?
"I don't want to die," Alma blurted out because in the end, he was still selfish. "But I will, and I'm going to lose you, aren't I?"
Yuu didn't say anything. He wouldn't lie. Yuu was a fighter, not a liar.
Yuu was going to live because he had something important he must do. Alma could see it when he saw the horror on Yuu's face as he watched the Noah awakened within Allen, prompted by Mugen piercing his body.
They were parting ways here. Alma would have to walk the path of death alone.
Alma was used to walking alone.
He didn't want to be used to that.
"I could go with you," Yuu said, and Alma wanted to believe him, but Alma remembered Yuu's fierce declaration, 'I want to live!' as he slashed Alma into pieces.
I'll wait forever.
Even if we're old and gray?
He could ask Yuu to die with him, but he wouldn't. Alma didn't know if this was because he couldn't let Yuu die or because he was afraid of what Yuu's answer would be if he had asked. Maybe a little of both.
"You can't die with me," Alma said. "You still have to help that boy, don't you?"
Yuu didn't reply, but his silence was enough of an answer.
"Don't die with me," Alma said. The sky above them was so bright even though everything was crumbling. Alma forgot how much he missed the sky.
Even if he died, life went on. Yuu had to move forward because there was still somebody waiting for him, someone who needed him.
"That child is a Noah," Alma said sadly. "And I…the Earl…ARGGG!" His body was beginning to fall apart, just like the ruins around them.
Alma still wanted to see it-Yuu's smile among the lotus blossoms, sunlight brushing over his hair, blue sky wide and endless above them.
"Don't speak anymore," Yuu said gently.
"Yuu," Alma said, clinging on to life for as long as he could because he still had to tell Yuu-"Yuu-"
"Just watch…."
"Don't use the innocence."
"I know."
"Until my soul is crushed by dark matter," Alma gasped. "I can't forgive the organization, even now. But…I should sink into mud…."
The lotus…
shining like light….
eventually will wither and drown into the mud.
"I killed…so many." Even if he closed his eyes, he couldn't dispel that image of bloodied bodies strewn all around him. "Even lending my power to the Earl…."
"I know." Yuu rubbed soothing circles on his back. "I know, so I'll see you off to the very end."
"I'm…I'm glad…that you could still live," Alma said, and that wasn't a lie. "I've…I've killed so many….I can't..can't bear it if you were one of the people I killed too."
"I know," Yuu said softly.
"I'm sorry," Alma said because he had to say it, even if it would never be enough.
"I know," Yuu said. "I'm sorry too," because he also needed to say it. Alma could feel Yuu's shoulders relaxed, as if a weight that had been dragging him down for decades had finally lifted. Alma wished that they had said this to each other sooner, wished that love would have been enough to stop the blood stained path that Alma chose, but it was too late for that.
"Will he replace me?" Alma asked. He had to know; he felt terrible for being selfish, but he had to know.
Alma didn't have to say who 'he' was.
"Never," Yuu answered, and that was enough for Alma. It didn't matter if it was a lie or not.
Alma wished that he knew if Yuu was lying, but a part of him didn't because he didn't know which truth he was going to see.
"Do you love him?" Alma asked. 'Do you love him as much as you love me?' he thought, but didn't dare to say aloud. He didn't think he could handle Yuu's answer.
"I can," Yuu replied.
"Save him," Alma whispered, and everything felt so heavy. Maybe if he closed his eyes and rest a little, his cracking body wouldn't feel as painful. Alma had made his choice and he had to pay for it. He wondered what Allen would choose. "Don't let him go."
"I won't."
There was a shining light at the edge of his vision, a path lined with blossoming lotuses. Alma knew that this was the end, knew that he had to say it now before he lost his chance.
"I love you, Yuu," Alma whispered, using all of his last remaining strength.
"Yeah," Yuu said, stroking Alma's back even though Alma was no longer breathing. "I know."
<<< Fingertips
Doors And Keys >>>
Fandom: D.Gray-Man
Rating: T
Genre: AngstCharacters/Pairing: Alma/Kanda.
Wordcount: 960
Disclaimer: Not mine. Hoshino-sensei owns D. Gray-Man!Summary: Lying doesn't suit Alma; Yuu could tell. Alma wished that he knew if Yuu was lying.
Note: Alma Arc. This is not for Yullen Week, but it falls within the verse that I'm writing these last few snippets in, so I thought it would be more logical to put it here than in a separate fic.
Yuu tightened his grip on Alma as they fell into the crumbling remains where he had his first mission with Allen. He shielded Alma as much as he could when they landed roughly in the sand, dust and dirt clogging his nose and mouth.
The gate shattered into pieces above them, scattering like falling snow.
"I'm glad," Alma gasped, his vision growing blurry but he tried to fight against it. He wanted to take as much of Yuu's image as he could with him. "I'm glad that you still have people waiting for you when I'm not here anymore."
Yuu was silent at first. Then, "Lying doesn't suit you."
"Ah, but I'm not….I'm not lying," Alma wanted to cry in shame because even though Yuu was here for him, he still wanted to be selfish.
"You don't have to lie," said Yuu. "Not to me, ever."
Alma wanted to hold Yuu, but he couldn't move his arms. Yuu must have understood because he gently wrapped one of Alma's arms around his shoulder.
Yuu.
He was going to lose Yuu, wasn't he?
"I don't want to die," Alma blurted out because in the end, he was still selfish. "But I will, and I'm going to lose you, aren't I?"
Yuu didn't say anything. He wouldn't lie. Yuu was a fighter, not a liar.
Yuu was going to live because he had something important he must do. Alma could see it when he saw the horror on Yuu's face as he watched the Noah awakened within Allen, prompted by Mugen piercing his body.
They were parting ways here. Alma would have to walk the path of death alone.
Alma was used to walking alone.
He didn't want to be used to that.
"I could go with you," Yuu said, and Alma wanted to believe him, but Alma remembered Yuu's fierce declaration, 'I want to live!' as he slashed Alma into pieces.
I'll wait forever.
Even if we're old and gray?
He could ask Yuu to die with him, but he wouldn't. Alma didn't know if this was because he couldn't let Yuu die or because he was afraid of what Yuu's answer would be if he had asked. Maybe a little of both.
"You can't die with me," Alma said. "You still have to help that boy, don't you?"
Yuu didn't reply, but his silence was enough of an answer.
"Don't die with me," Alma said. The sky above them was so bright even though everything was crumbling. Alma forgot how much he missed the sky.
Even if he died, life went on. Yuu had to move forward because there was still somebody waiting for him, someone who needed him.
"That child is a Noah," Alma said sadly. "And I…the Earl…ARGGG!" His body was beginning to fall apart, just like the ruins around them.
Alma still wanted to see it-Yuu's smile among the lotus blossoms, sunlight brushing over his hair, blue sky wide and endless above them.
"Don't speak anymore," Yuu said gently.
"Yuu," Alma said, clinging on to life for as long as he could because he still had to tell Yuu-"Yuu-"
"Just watch…."
"Don't use the innocence."
"I know."
"Until my soul is crushed by dark matter," Alma gasped. "I can't forgive the organization, even now. But…I should sink into mud…."
The lotus…
shining like light….
eventually will wither and drown into the mud.
"I killed…so many." Even if he closed his eyes, he couldn't dispel that image of bloodied bodies strewn all around him. "Even lending my power to the Earl…."
"I know." Yuu rubbed soothing circles on his back. "I know, so I'll see you off to the very end."
"I'm…I'm glad…that you could still live," Alma said, and that wasn't a lie. "I've…I've killed so many….I can't..can't bear it if you were one of the people I killed too."
"I know," Yuu said softly.
"I'm sorry," Alma said because he had to say it, even if it would never be enough.
"I know," Yuu said. "I'm sorry too," because he also needed to say it. Alma could feel Yuu's shoulders relaxed, as if a weight that had been dragging him down for decades had finally lifted. Alma wished that they had said this to each other sooner, wished that love would have been enough to stop the blood stained path that Alma chose, but it was too late for that.
"Will he replace me?" Alma asked. He had to know; he felt terrible for being selfish, but he had to know.
Alma didn't have to say who 'he' was.
"Never," Yuu answered, and that was enough for Alma. It didn't matter if it was a lie or not.
Alma wished that he knew if Yuu was lying, but a part of him didn't because he didn't know which truth he was going to see.
"Do you love him?" Alma asked. 'Do you love him as much as you love me?' he thought, but didn't dare to say aloud. He didn't think he could handle Yuu's answer.
"I can," Yuu replied.
"Save him," Alma whispered, and everything felt so heavy. Maybe if he closed his eyes and rest a little, his cracking body wouldn't feel as painful. Alma had made his choice and he had to pay for it. He wondered what Allen would choose. "Don't let him go."
"I won't."
There was a shining light at the edge of his vision, a path lined with blossoming lotuses. Alma knew that this was the end, knew that he had to say it now before he lost his chance.
"I love you, Yuu," Alma whispered, using all of his last remaining strength.
"Yeah," Yuu said, stroking Alma's back even though Alma was no longer breathing. "I know."
<<< Fingertips
Doors And Keys >>>