Further Thoughts on Invitations to Dance
We thought that we had, in these pages, addressed all that needed to be said regarding invitations to dance; however, on occaision, we are reminded of the myriad other means of perhaps inadvertently offending one's desired partner.
At a dance this weekend, Miss J. sat on the sidelines, conversing with a new acquaintance. She chanced to glance up, and meet the eye of a perfect stranger, who approached her and asked "Do you need a partner?"
She responded, "No," and returned to her conversation.
If the truth were told, Miss J., another lover of dance, would have gladly taken a partner and joined the couples on the dancefloor; however, the implication that she might "need" a partner offended her. She was quite happy conversing with her new acquaintance, who had on other occasions been a perfectly satisfactory dance partner. Had the stranger asked is a less insulting manner (such as a simple "Would you care to dance?"), Miss J. might have agreed to dance with him.
Gentle Readers, please bear in mind that a dance partner is honouring you by consenting to dance with you, just as you are honouring a potential partner with an invitation to dance. Of course there is no need to grovel for a potential partner; however, neither is there any need to present yourself as the answer to the wallflower's prayers. Do recognise that sometimes a dancer may wish to sit out a dance, and enjoy the music or the company. Do recognise that it is insulting to imply that anyone might be unable to find a partner without your kind and gracious intervention.
At a dance this weekend, Miss J. sat on the sidelines, conversing with a new acquaintance. She chanced to glance up, and meet the eye of a perfect stranger, who approached her and asked "Do you need a partner?"
She responded, "No," and returned to her conversation.
If the truth were told, Miss J., another lover of dance, would have gladly taken a partner and joined the couples on the dancefloor; however, the implication that she might "need" a partner offended her. She was quite happy conversing with her new acquaintance, who had on other occasions been a perfectly satisfactory dance partner. Had the stranger asked is a less insulting manner (such as a simple "Would you care to dance?"), Miss J. might have agreed to dance with him.
Gentle Readers, please bear in mind that a dance partner is honouring you by consenting to dance with you, just as you are honouring a potential partner with an invitation to dance. Of course there is no need to grovel for a potential partner; however, neither is there any need to present yourself as the answer to the wallflower's prayers. Do recognise that sometimes a dancer may wish to sit out a dance, and enjoy the music or the company. Do recognise that it is insulting to imply that anyone might be unable to find a partner without your kind and gracious intervention.