SPN - 6.21 - 'Let It Bleed' - way to leave me traumatized, show!
I was wondering how on EARTH I could take watching TWO SPN eps in one night. The answer is: I CAN’T. The first hour left me downright TRAUMATIZED, by the time it was over, I was just at TOO MUCH TO PROCESS. And couldn’t even think about watching A FINALE after something like that. So I’m waiting until tonight to watch the second part. Because it feels weird to watch the show when it's not midnight. And because I seriously have to talk about this one first!!
TWO WORDS: DEAN’S FACE. GUYS, I CAN'T EVEN. I didn't even know I could still be so affected by his STUPID FACE! From Ben’s call onwards, the man was KILLING ME. AND SAM WATCHING AND WORRYING AND FRETTING FOR HIM. AND INSISTING NO MATTER WHAT HE WAS GOING WITH HIM. WAS THAT NOT ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER? Until later when Sam tried to make him take a rest from all the demon torturing, and then that was the new best things ever. I had so many hearts in my eyes seeing Sam stand up to Dean FOR Dean. There really is not much I love more. (Though in the twisting web that is this show, I couldn't help but think the added trauma between them that Dean went to them BECAUSE of Sam. When Dean said their deaths would be 100% on him, I couldn't escape from hearing the silent ringing that in actuality, Sam would share that guilt.) The call at the beginning, the camera was doing these erratic spins all over the place [brilliant choice, btw!], and rewound it twice just to watch Sam's face trying to follow the call behind Dean's shoulder. How CRAZILY old school S1 did that feel? I was instantly transported back to the end of 'Salvation' there.
Speaking of transported back to another time, Dean's torture scene in that shed was HIGHLY reminscient of 'Head on a Pin'. With one huge difference. Dean torturing Alistair as a favor for heaven and in stone-cold vengence was all blue. This? THERE WAS RED EVERYWHERE!
I figured we had to brace ourselves for Lisa dying by the end of the season even though I wasn’t quite sure how they could pull that off. Forget even the amount of pain for Dean in an episode that isn’t even the finale, but BEN! What do you do with Ben? I still couldn't believe the CW would let them kill a kid, so you have that logistical problem of what the show would do with him. So while it was on my mind, when demon!Lisa took that rod and skewered herself, I had the LOUDEST GASP in YEARS, instinctively paused it right away, my mouth like DETACHED FROM MY JAW, and Dean and Ben’s immediate reaction faces are staring back at me on the screen. I might have needed like five whole minutes to compose myself after that one. I did NOT see it coming like that, damn. Moreover, I realized I was just OUTRIGHT UNPREPARED to watch Dean and Ben’s react to this. When I finally did unpaused and watch the rest, WELL YES, IT TOTALLY TRAUMATIZED ME. Dean running to her, trying to access things when his mind was reeling off the deep end, slapping Ben to get him together, picking Lisa and telling Ben to take the gun, Ben having to shoot their way out? OH MY GOD THAT POOR BOY AND HIS FACE. Dean holding Lisa in the car and looking at his blood soaked hand a la AHBL I? DYINGGGGGG. I was sitting there thinking, this isn't just another women on teh show dying again, here is literally THE MOST IMPORTANT FEMALE FIGURE DEAN HAS EVER KNOWN (which really says a lot about this show and what it says about a world deprived of the female presence, but that‘s a post for another time), and here he’s gotta watch her die. To top it all off, the score was doing this rickety industrial sound with a mess of crazy out-of-tune trumpets that was so off-settlingly perfect, I didn't even know what to do with things.
The most surprising image was seeing Lisa in the hospital bed, because I was so swept up in it all, that was the last thing I though the next frame would be. There was a vague moment there with her laying there in a state reminiscent of coma!Dean while Dean sat by her bed looking like he'd aged forty years overnight reminiscent of his father, and Ben defiantly got up and left in a storm when Dean addressed him, and felt like I was transported right back into a missing scene of 'In My Time of Dying'. Then Cas came, I was kinda like, OH WAIT, DUDE, NO WAY, THAT’S LAME. Remember when this show had CONSEQUENCES?
BUT THEN DEAN ASKED FOR THE MEMORY WIPE AND I CAN’T EVEN. GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSS. HE FUCKIN WENT AND ANGELIFIED SHIT! I CAN’T EVEN! Ha, wait, he did an Angel, using an angel? OH SHOW, WHY YES I FIND THAT HYSTERICAL.
This made me CRY: “I’m the guy that hit you guys. I’m sorry, I just lost control for a minute” BAWLINGGGGG.
You could say that it’s a stupid fuckin move because now if something comes to get them, they won’t know Dean’s number to call, won’t know how to shoot a gun, or that the shotgun is in Lisa’s closet if they need it. But emotionally? THE WHOLE IDEA GUTS ME. As it has OBVIOUSLY gutted Dean. Because it’s literally the most painful thing in the world for him to do and yet the only thing he can think to make things right. To spare them that trauma and pain. Because he wants them to have normal. Enjoy normal. He couldn’t himself, even when he was in that world, remembering his past. He didn’t want the past to control them and ruin normal the same way it had for him.
The fact that Sam pushed the subject RIGHT AWAY made me draw hearts. BUT DEAN’S REACTION. UGHHH. There was a whole five seconds of JUST EYE-TALK THERE BETWEEN THEM THAT WAS AMAZING but I couldn’t even squee about it because I was just TRAUMATIZED LOOKING AT DEAN WINCHESTERS FACE! UGH! Between the teary bloodshot eyes and Sam wordlessly letting it go when he saw it, and LISA'S BLOOD STILL ON DEAN'S JACKET, I concluded there was no way I could deal with another episode after something like this.
I have to say, I give the show MAJORRRRR props for dealing with Lisa and Ben this way. From a logistical standpoint it is pretty perfect. Can we talk about the cuteness OVERLOAD of wardrobe putting Ben in a '67 t-shirt for the episode? That might be the most adorable wardrobe choice ever!
Speaking of major props, Cas was BREAKING MY HEART ALL OVER THE PLACE. That convo he had with Dean in the shed? I rewound it. TWICE. That’s how good it was. Cas's questioning of trust was excellent:
Cas: Shouldn’t trust run both ways?
Dean: Cas, I just can‘t
Cas: Look, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call and I am your friend. Still. Despite your lack of faith in me and your threats, I just saved you. Again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?
Looks like there’s still room to make me a Cas fan yet! Structure wise, it felt very much like the honeymoon suite scene between Sam and Dean in the end of 4.21. How Sam comes and gives the last olive branch to Dean, asking him to have his back on this. And then something he says SPRINGS back and hits Dean square in the eyes, and Dean reacts by lashing out and there goes any chance of reconciliation. I might have been alittle surprised Cas fixing Lisa did nothing to change Dean’s mind, but not much. It is how Dean roles, isn’t it? I might kindaaaaaa be hoping for Sam to broach the subject explicitly, but the allusions have been so excellent I might not want to actually hear it.
OH OH, AND BALTHAZAR SAYING HE IS THE VESSEL TO CONSUME THE SOULS? THAT IT’S ALL ABOUT POWER??? Why yes, my thoughts did go straight to AH-HA! THE SOULS ARE CAS'S DEMON BLOOD! But what is this about him possibly blowing up and taking out a huge chunk of the planet with him? BUZZZWHAAAAA????
Also, was it just me, or was that the prettiest episode in AGES. I was capping like crazy! John Showalter directed, he's fairly new, yes?? Unusual that they'd put a new guy on a second to last ep of the season.
I’m not watching the second part til tonight, but I’ll admit this one being so crazy has me scared shitless as to what else they have up their sleeve. PLEASE no comments, hints, illusions, or anything that might be construed as spoiling me for the second half. I am riding so blind and clueless in a way I haven't been for YEARS, it’s insane, and I LOVE IT. DON’T RUIN IT!
TWO WORDS: DEAN’S FACE. GUYS, I CAN'T EVEN. I didn't even know I could still be so affected by his STUPID FACE! From Ben’s call onwards, the man was KILLING ME. AND SAM WATCHING AND WORRYING AND FRETTING FOR HIM. AND INSISTING NO MATTER WHAT HE WAS GOING WITH HIM. WAS THAT NOT ONE OF THE BEST THINGS EVER? Until later when Sam tried to make him take a rest from all the demon torturing, and then that was the new best things ever. I had so many hearts in my eyes seeing Sam stand up to Dean FOR Dean. There really is not much I love more. (Though in the twisting web that is this show, I couldn't help but think the added trauma between them that Dean went to them BECAUSE of Sam. When Dean said their deaths would be 100% on him, I couldn't escape from hearing the silent ringing that in actuality, Sam would share that guilt.) The call at the beginning, the camera was doing these erratic spins all over the place [brilliant choice, btw!], and rewound it twice just to watch Sam's face trying to follow the call behind Dean's shoulder. How CRAZILY old school S1 did that feel? I was instantly transported back to the end of 'Salvation' there.
Speaking of transported back to another time, Dean's torture scene in that shed was HIGHLY reminscient of 'Head on a Pin'. With one huge difference. Dean torturing Alistair as a favor for heaven and in stone-cold vengence was all blue. This? THERE WAS RED EVERYWHERE!
I figured we had to brace ourselves for Lisa dying by the end of the season even though I wasn’t quite sure how they could pull that off. Forget even the amount of pain for Dean in an episode that isn’t even the finale, but BEN! What do you do with Ben? I still couldn't believe the CW would let them kill a kid, so you have that logistical problem of what the show would do with him. So while it was on my mind, when demon!Lisa took that rod and skewered herself, I had the LOUDEST GASP in YEARS, instinctively paused it right away, my mouth like DETACHED FROM MY JAW, and Dean and Ben’s immediate reaction faces are staring back at me on the screen. I might have needed like five whole minutes to compose myself after that one. I did NOT see it coming like that, damn. Moreover, I realized I was just OUTRIGHT UNPREPARED to watch Dean and Ben’s react to this. When I finally did unpaused and watch the rest, WELL YES, IT TOTALLY TRAUMATIZED ME. Dean running to her, trying to access things when his mind was reeling off the deep end, slapping Ben to get him together, picking Lisa and telling Ben to take the gun, Ben having to shoot their way out? OH MY GOD THAT POOR BOY AND HIS FACE. Dean holding Lisa in the car and looking at his blood soaked hand a la AHBL I? DYINGGGGGG. I was sitting there thinking, this isn't just another women on teh show dying again, here is literally THE MOST IMPORTANT FEMALE FIGURE DEAN HAS EVER KNOWN (which really says a lot about this show and what it says about a world deprived of the female presence, but that‘s a post for another time), and here he’s gotta watch her die. To top it all off, the score was doing this rickety industrial sound with a mess of crazy out-of-tune trumpets that was so off-settlingly perfect, I didn't even know what to do with things.
The most surprising image was seeing Lisa in the hospital bed, because I was so swept up in it all, that was the last thing I though the next frame would be. There was a vague moment there with her laying there in a state reminiscent of coma!Dean while Dean sat by her bed looking like he'd aged forty years overnight reminiscent of his father, and Ben defiantly got up and left in a storm when Dean addressed him, and felt like I was transported right back into a missing scene of 'In My Time of Dying'. Then Cas came, I was kinda like, OH WAIT, DUDE, NO WAY, THAT’S LAME. Remember when this show had CONSEQUENCES?
BUT THEN DEAN ASKED FOR THE MEMORY WIPE AND I CAN’T EVEN. GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSS. HE FUCKIN WENT AND ANGELIFIED SHIT! I CAN’T EVEN! Ha, wait, he did an Angel, using an angel? OH SHOW, WHY YES I FIND THAT HYSTERICAL.
This made me CRY: “I’m the guy that hit you guys. I’m sorry, I just lost control for a minute” BAWLINGGGGG.
You could say that it’s a stupid fuckin move because now if something comes to get them, they won’t know Dean’s number to call, won’t know how to shoot a gun, or that the shotgun is in Lisa’s closet if they need it. But emotionally? THE WHOLE IDEA GUTS ME. As it has OBVIOUSLY gutted Dean. Because it’s literally the most painful thing in the world for him to do and yet the only thing he can think to make things right. To spare them that trauma and pain. Because he wants them to have normal. Enjoy normal. He couldn’t himself, even when he was in that world, remembering his past. He didn’t want the past to control them and ruin normal the same way it had for him.
The fact that Sam pushed the subject RIGHT AWAY made me draw hearts. BUT DEAN’S REACTION. UGHHH. There was a whole five seconds of JUST EYE-TALK THERE BETWEEN THEM THAT WAS AMAZING but I couldn’t even squee about it because I was just TRAUMATIZED LOOKING AT DEAN WINCHESTERS FACE! UGH! Between the teary bloodshot eyes and Sam wordlessly letting it go when he saw it, and LISA'S BLOOD STILL ON DEAN'S JACKET, I concluded there was no way I could deal with another episode after something like this.
I have to say, I give the show MAJORRRRR props for dealing with Lisa and Ben this way. From a logistical standpoint it is pretty perfect. Can we talk about the cuteness OVERLOAD of wardrobe putting Ben in a '67 t-shirt for the episode? That might be the most adorable wardrobe choice ever!
Speaking of major props, Cas was BREAKING MY HEART ALL OVER THE PLACE. That convo he had with Dean in the shed? I rewound it. TWICE. That’s how good it was. Cas's questioning of trust was excellent:
Cas: Shouldn’t trust run both ways?
Dean: Cas, I just can‘t
Cas: Look, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call and I am your friend. Still. Despite your lack of faith in me and your threats, I just saved you. Again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?
Looks like there’s still room to make me a Cas fan yet! Structure wise, it felt very much like the honeymoon suite scene between Sam and Dean in the end of 4.21. How Sam comes and gives the last olive branch to Dean, asking him to have his back on this. And then something he says SPRINGS back and hits Dean square in the eyes, and Dean reacts by lashing out and there goes any chance of reconciliation. I might have been alittle surprised Cas fixing Lisa did nothing to change Dean’s mind, but not much. It is how Dean roles, isn’t it? I might kindaaaaaa be hoping for Sam to broach the subject explicitly, but the allusions have been so excellent I might not want to actually hear it.
OH OH, AND BALTHAZAR SAYING HE IS THE VESSEL TO CONSUME THE SOULS? THAT IT’S ALL ABOUT POWER??? Why yes, my thoughts did go straight to AH-HA! THE SOULS ARE CAS'S DEMON BLOOD! But what is this about him possibly blowing up and taking out a huge chunk of the planet with him? BUZZZWHAAAAA????
Also, was it just me, or was that the prettiest episode in AGES. I was capping like crazy! John Showalter directed, he's fairly new, yes?? Unusual that they'd put a new guy on a second to last ep of the season.
I’m not watching the second part til tonight, but I’ll admit this one being so crazy has me scared shitless as to what else they have up their sleeve. PLEASE no comments, hints, illusions, or anything that might be construed as spoiling me for the second half. I am riding so blind and clueless in a way I haven't been for YEARS, it’s insane, and I LOVE IT. DON’T RUIN IT!