Don't Eat the Shrimp
Title: Don’t Eat the Shrimp
Fandom: Husbands: the Series
Pairing: Cheeks/Brady Kelly
Author: i_amthecosmos
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,704
Summary: Cheeks and Brady go back to Vegas for their honeymoon. Things go horribly, horribly wrong.
Prompt: For hc_bingo’s May Challenge. Prompt is food poisoning.
Warnings: Detailed descriptions of food poisoning symptoms.
Disclaimer: I am making this up. I am not affiliated with Husbands: The Series and I make no profit from this fan fiction. This was done purely for fun. Do not Tweet this to anyone involved in the making of this awesome series, thank you. However Cheeks, if you read this anyway, I’m sorry.
Notes: Luckily I got a h/c prompt that still fits the humor of the series. So it’s funny hurt/comfort. I’m glad I didn’t have to work with something like “first transformation”, although I bet I could give it a try.
“Okay honey, hotel’s booked. We’re ready for our first aniversery . I got the same hotel as last time!” Brady managed to laugh and groan at the same time.
“Scene of the crime, huh? Sounds good. Okay, I’m packed, are you ready?”
“Well, I’ve got one bag filled. Ummm…I need to take this. And this. And I can’t forget my new shirt. Oh, and my gold eye shadow. Oh, and the robe I stole from the hotel last time.”
“I figured you’d just steal a second robe.” Brady stood in the doorway with his luggage, watching Cheeks overpack. Cheeks thought it was sweet-Brady never complained about him taking everything and the kitchen sink for a weekend trip. “Oh,” Brady said. “You made sure to tell Haley that she’s not coming to our honeymoon, right?” Cheeks paused.
“I’m sure I did, but we were really drunk at our Miserable Rich Kids watch party.” Cheeks wondered if any other minor TV celebs had watch parties for their own shows. “But I didn’t tell her where we were going, so I’m sure she won’t show up. I mean, what are the odds?” Cheeks zipped up his carry-on and turned to his husband.
“Considering she seems to stalk your every move, I’d say better than average. But okay, let’s go. I got us a limo-I think Denise still doesn’t trust us to drive anywhere. I mean, what are we gonna do, get married twice?” Brad put a hand out and led Cheeks to the door. “She’s already mad that we decided not to attend any of the first year celebrations of marriage equality gatherings.”
“Why go, most of them hate us anyway,” Cheeks said, putting on his sunglasses. He hadn’t forgotten what most of the gay press had to say about his marriage. He didn’t care what Fox News called them, but Out putting up a cover with their picture and the word ‘Shame’ didn’t make Cheeks feel like going to a pro-equality love-in. “Let’s go and have a good time instead. Political gatherings give me a rash.”
When they got to their hotel room, Cheeks barely had time to drop his bags before Brady crowded him against the door, hands on the side of his face. Cheeks put his arms around Brady as he kissed like he would never stop. When Brady finally did pull back, he was panting like he’d been running for a mile. Cheeks smiled-desperation looked good on Brady. “Want to take this to the bedroom, hubby?” That got a huge smile of gratitude out of Brady and Cheeks felt a little twinge looking at it. Brady still felt insecure, and Cheeks wasn’t sure what he could do to reassure him considering how their marriage started. “Come on,” he said instead. “Carry me.”
“Pushy,” Brady said, and Cheeks wanted to snark back that Brady loved having a bossy bottom in bed, but then he was flat on his back on the huge round bed, and he decided there was no reason to waste time talking. Instead he bit at Brady’s lip as pulled away from the kiss, making Brady groan and tug at his shirt. Cheeks pulled it off with a flourish, and Brady rolled his eyes. “Cute.”
“Maybe, but we’d get our clothes off faster if you didn’t comment on my methods. But thanks for giving me a head start.” Brady grinned and got up to undress and Cheeks had to fight not to roll his eyes. Brady was very proper about getting undressed. He even folded his clothes on a chair while Cheeks just threw his across the room, nearly getting his underwear hung on a lava lamp. Then Brady was in bed with him and Cheeks didn’t think about anything else.
Afterward when they were holding each other, sweaty and out of breath, Cheeks kissed his husband and then smiled. “One year. Can you believe it? Because it doesn’t seem that long, but so much has changed and I didn’t think anything like this would happen to me ever, and-“ Brady cut him off with a kiss.
“You could just say “I love you,” Brady teased, and Cheeks didn’t hold back from rolling his eyes this time. Brady kissed him again and rolled over. “I’m gonna order room service. I’m starving.” He grabbed the tiny menu on the nightstand and flipped through it. “Huh. There’s not much here. Oh, there’s a shrimp special. We could get that.”
“I don’t really like seafood that much.” Cheeks got up, heading for the bathroom wash off. “I mean, we can get something better than that, right? I mean, this hotel isn’t exactly five star, It’s kind of tacky. I mean, it’s good-tacky, but I still don’t know if I trust the kitchen.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” Brady said, and started dialing the number. “Come on, you don’t have to be on a diet all the time. Anyway, what’s the worst that could happen?”
A half-hour later, Cheeks started feeling it first. “I…oh god. Brady…” He looked over at his husband and from the ghost-pale face, he could tell that he wasn’t alone in this. “Fuck!” He stumbled toward the toilet on rubber legs and just barely made it. Cheeks heaved until he thought he was going to throw up his stomach lining. “I…shit! Brady!” He threw up again, cutting off anything else he was going to say.
“Baby! Get out of the way!” Brady shoved him to the side and oh fuck, Cheeks did not need to see his sweet, strong husband puking his guts out three inches away from his face. I don’t know if I signed up for this. Did I? Oh yeah, in sickness and in…shit!. Cheeks tried to make room next to Brady to puke again, but it was no use and he threw up on the floor. Brady moaned and looked over at him. “So…sorry. Shouldn’t have gotten…the shrimp.” Then he put his head back in the toilet.
Cheeks nodded his agreement even though it made his head swim. “Baby, I’m so sorry. We should’ve gone somewhere better.” He felt his stomach lurch again, and actually shoved Brady aside even as he flushed the toilet. It didn’t matter to him right now, he had to puke again. Then he looked over at Brady, and…oh God.
“Cheeks, get outta here!” And he stumbled halfway out of the bathroom before Brady’s ass hit the toilet. He covered his nose with a towel and breathed shallowly. “Don’t look!” Brady said, as if Cheeks wanted to. Then Cheeks heard the toilet flush again and he panted, towel still over his face. He opened the bathroom door and crawled out. “Oh fuck,” he heard Brady say, but it sounded like he was far away. Cheeks climbed on the bed and flopped on it, curling on his side. Brady stumbled after him and curled up next to him, the cold sweat on his body making Cheeks want to flinch.
“Jesus,” Brady said, his voice hoarse from all the puking he just did. “You’re right, I never should have ordered that. I felt like I was gonna die. I’m so sorry.”
“You’re not the one who puked on the floor,” Cheeks said. “I guess I have to clean that up.”
“Hell no,” Brady said. "We’re calling them up and telling them to clean it. They poisoned us, they get to clean it. I wanted to tell you to leave my baseball glove to Brent.”
Cheeks paused. “Isn’t that your brother who called me an abomination to the Lord?” Brady’s arm tightened around him.
“You’re right. Fuck him. You get everything.” The kiss on the back of his neck was cool and sweet, and Cheeks tried to relax. Then Brady was getting up and calling the front desk for a very heated discussion with the manager. Cheeks opened his eyes when Brady was done.
“They’re refunded our money and we can go to a decent hotel for the rest of the night. They even made reservations for us at the Hilton up the street. I know it’s not Caeser’s Palace, but it’s better than this shithole.” Cheeks just nodded, his body still weak. “Fuck, I should have told them to bring up a bottle of 7-Up.”
“I’m not taking another thing from this place,” Cheeks said as he sat up with effort. “They can keep their zebras this time. Fuck.” He stumbled to his feet and Brady caught him. “Well, we both survived our first illness together. That’s really not a first I wanted to experience, though.” Brady chuckled, and Cheeks felt warm hearing it.
“I love you, even when you’re puking,” Brady said, and Cheeks saw his warm smile that he seemed to show just to him.”Come on, at least we didn’t unpack.” They got their clothes back on and slowly made it to the door when they heard a knock. Cheeks stopped in his tracks. “Oh no.”
When they opened the door, Haley was there with an open bottle of Scotch, and Cheeks felt his stomach turn again. “Hi darlings!” I knew you’d be here!” She looked at their bags and wrinkled her nose. “Hey, why does it smell like puke in here? This hotel must not have much of a cleaning staff…”
Cheeks ran to the bathroom one more time as the scent of the alcohol filled his nose.
Fandom: Husbands: the Series
Pairing: Cheeks/Brady Kelly
Author: i_amthecosmos
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,704
Summary: Cheeks and Brady go back to Vegas for their honeymoon. Things go horribly, horribly wrong.
Prompt: For hc_bingo’s May Challenge. Prompt is food poisoning.
Warnings: Detailed descriptions of food poisoning symptoms.
Disclaimer: I am making this up. I am not affiliated with Husbands: The Series and I make no profit from this fan fiction. This was done purely for fun. Do not Tweet this to anyone involved in the making of this awesome series, thank you. However Cheeks, if you read this anyway, I’m sorry.
Notes: Luckily I got a h/c prompt that still fits the humor of the series. So it’s funny hurt/comfort. I’m glad I didn’t have to work with something like “first transformation”, although I bet I could give it a try.
“Okay honey, hotel’s booked. We’re ready for our first aniversery . I got the same hotel as last time!” Brady managed to laugh and groan at the same time.
“Scene of the crime, huh? Sounds good. Okay, I’m packed, are you ready?”
“Well, I’ve got one bag filled. Ummm…I need to take this. And this. And I can’t forget my new shirt. Oh, and my gold eye shadow. Oh, and the robe I stole from the hotel last time.”
“I figured you’d just steal a second robe.” Brady stood in the doorway with his luggage, watching Cheeks overpack. Cheeks thought it was sweet-Brady never complained about him taking everything and the kitchen sink for a weekend trip. “Oh,” Brady said. “You made sure to tell Haley that she’s not coming to our honeymoon, right?” Cheeks paused.
“I’m sure I did, but we were really drunk at our Miserable Rich Kids watch party.” Cheeks wondered if any other minor TV celebs had watch parties for their own shows. “But I didn’t tell her where we were going, so I’m sure she won’t show up. I mean, what are the odds?” Cheeks zipped up his carry-on and turned to his husband.
“Considering she seems to stalk your every move, I’d say better than average. But okay, let’s go. I got us a limo-I think Denise still doesn’t trust us to drive anywhere. I mean, what are we gonna do, get married twice?” Brad put a hand out and led Cheeks to the door. “She’s already mad that we decided not to attend any of the first year celebrations of marriage equality gatherings.”
“Why go, most of them hate us anyway,” Cheeks said, putting on his sunglasses. He hadn’t forgotten what most of the gay press had to say about his marriage. He didn’t care what Fox News called them, but Out putting up a cover with their picture and the word ‘Shame’ didn’t make Cheeks feel like going to a pro-equality love-in. “Let’s go and have a good time instead. Political gatherings give me a rash.”
When they got to their hotel room, Cheeks barely had time to drop his bags before Brady crowded him against the door, hands on the side of his face. Cheeks put his arms around Brady as he kissed like he would never stop. When Brady finally did pull back, he was panting like he’d been running for a mile. Cheeks smiled-desperation looked good on Brady. “Want to take this to the bedroom, hubby?” That got a huge smile of gratitude out of Brady and Cheeks felt a little twinge looking at it. Brady still felt insecure, and Cheeks wasn’t sure what he could do to reassure him considering how their marriage started. “Come on,” he said instead. “Carry me.”
“Pushy,” Brady said, and Cheeks wanted to snark back that Brady loved having a bossy bottom in bed, but then he was flat on his back on the huge round bed, and he decided there was no reason to waste time talking. Instead he bit at Brady’s lip as pulled away from the kiss, making Brady groan and tug at his shirt. Cheeks pulled it off with a flourish, and Brady rolled his eyes. “Cute.”
“Maybe, but we’d get our clothes off faster if you didn’t comment on my methods. But thanks for giving me a head start.” Brady grinned and got up to undress and Cheeks had to fight not to roll his eyes. Brady was very proper about getting undressed. He even folded his clothes on a chair while Cheeks just threw his across the room, nearly getting his underwear hung on a lava lamp. Then Brady was in bed with him and Cheeks didn’t think about anything else.
Afterward when they were holding each other, sweaty and out of breath, Cheeks kissed his husband and then smiled. “One year. Can you believe it? Because it doesn’t seem that long, but so much has changed and I didn’t think anything like this would happen to me ever, and-“ Brady cut him off with a kiss.
“You could just say “I love you,” Brady teased, and Cheeks didn’t hold back from rolling his eyes this time. Brady kissed him again and rolled over. “I’m gonna order room service. I’m starving.” He grabbed the tiny menu on the nightstand and flipped through it. “Huh. There’s not much here. Oh, there’s a shrimp special. We could get that.”
“I don’t really like seafood that much.” Cheeks got up, heading for the bathroom wash off. “I mean, we can get something better than that, right? I mean, this hotel isn’t exactly five star, It’s kind of tacky. I mean, it’s good-tacky, but I still don’t know if I trust the kitchen.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” Brady said, and started dialing the number. “Come on, you don’t have to be on a diet all the time. Anyway, what’s the worst that could happen?”
A half-hour later, Cheeks started feeling it first. “I…oh god. Brady…” He looked over at his husband and from the ghost-pale face, he could tell that he wasn’t alone in this. “Fuck!” He stumbled toward the toilet on rubber legs and just barely made it. Cheeks heaved until he thought he was going to throw up his stomach lining. “I…shit! Brady!” He threw up again, cutting off anything else he was going to say.
“Baby! Get out of the way!” Brady shoved him to the side and oh fuck, Cheeks did not need to see his sweet, strong husband puking his guts out three inches away from his face. I don’t know if I signed up for this. Did I? Oh yeah, in sickness and in…shit!. Cheeks tried to make room next to Brady to puke again, but it was no use and he threw up on the floor. Brady moaned and looked over at him. “So…sorry. Shouldn’t have gotten…the shrimp.” Then he put his head back in the toilet.
Cheeks nodded his agreement even though it made his head swim. “Baby, I’m so sorry. We should’ve gone somewhere better.” He felt his stomach lurch again, and actually shoved Brady aside even as he flushed the toilet. It didn’t matter to him right now, he had to puke again. Then he looked over at Brady, and…oh God.
“Cheeks, get outta here!” And he stumbled halfway out of the bathroom before Brady’s ass hit the toilet. He covered his nose with a towel and breathed shallowly. “Don’t look!” Brady said, as if Cheeks wanted to. Then Cheeks heard the toilet flush again and he panted, towel still over his face. He opened the bathroom door and crawled out. “Oh fuck,” he heard Brady say, but it sounded like he was far away. Cheeks climbed on the bed and flopped on it, curling on his side. Brady stumbled after him and curled up next to him, the cold sweat on his body making Cheeks want to flinch.
“Jesus,” Brady said, his voice hoarse from all the puking he just did. “You’re right, I never should have ordered that. I felt like I was gonna die. I’m so sorry.”
“You’re not the one who puked on the floor,” Cheeks said. “I guess I have to clean that up.”
“Hell no,” Brady said. "We’re calling them up and telling them to clean it. They poisoned us, they get to clean it. I wanted to tell you to leave my baseball glove to Brent.”
Cheeks paused. “Isn’t that your brother who called me an abomination to the Lord?” Brady’s arm tightened around him.
“You’re right. Fuck him. You get everything.” The kiss on the back of his neck was cool and sweet, and Cheeks tried to relax. Then Brady was getting up and calling the front desk for a very heated discussion with the manager. Cheeks opened his eyes when Brady was done.
“They’re refunded our money and we can go to a decent hotel for the rest of the night. They even made reservations for us at the Hilton up the street. I know it’s not Caeser’s Palace, but it’s better than this shithole.” Cheeks just nodded, his body still weak. “Fuck, I should have told them to bring up a bottle of 7-Up.”
“I’m not taking another thing from this place,” Cheeks said as he sat up with effort. “They can keep their zebras this time. Fuck.” He stumbled to his feet and Brady caught him. “Well, we both survived our first illness together. That’s really not a first I wanted to experience, though.” Brady chuckled, and Cheeks felt warm hearing it.
“I love you, even when you’re puking,” Brady said, and Cheeks saw his warm smile that he seemed to show just to him.”Come on, at least we didn’t unpack.” They got their clothes back on and slowly made it to the door when they heard a knock. Cheeks stopped in his tracks. “Oh no.”
When they opened the door, Haley was there with an open bottle of Scotch, and Cheeks felt his stomach turn again. “Hi darlings!” I knew you’d be here!” She looked at their bags and wrinkled her nose. “Hey, why does it smell like puke in here? This hotel must not have much of a cleaning staff…”
Cheeks ran to the bathroom one more time as the scent of the alcohol filled his nose.