(no subject)
down day today, I know I said I will forgive Anfey and I will I just having a bad day.
I got hardly any sleep last night cause I kept going over in my head what has happened, did I do something wrong to make him want someone else? Did I push too hard to make him want this when he said he would be faithful to me?
I feel sick at the thought of what he was saying to that girl.....the thoughts that were going thru his head at the time when he was doing it. He says he didnt follow thru with the talk and I believe him but I keep thinking what if he had? How would I handle this rejection? How would I go on with things when I know I wouldnt be able to have him.
I have seen woman forgive me of cheating and I always said I would never do that, but now I am scared that I cant live with out him and would forgive too much.
I am concerned now as to wether or not I need to keep worrying about him going out to poker is he gonna do it again? is he thinking about doing it again?
He says he wont but how can I be sure how can he be sure??
If it was just for a fuck for some one night stand thing where he was horny I would be able to handle this chatting up someone better but I dont know if it was jsut for that.
If he is lonely and needs intamacy he isnt going to get it off a one night stand, should I have him come to me instead?
Would I be fine with that? Could I have him come to me for comfort for intamacy for sex and know that we are not back together? Would I be able to handle that? I know I would prefer that to him going to find it else where. but he said he wouldnt do it again so do I trust that or put myself in a position I not sure if I would be comfortable with to save our future?
I got hardly any sleep last night cause I kept going over in my head what has happened, did I do something wrong to make him want someone else? Did I push too hard to make him want this when he said he would be faithful to me?
I feel sick at the thought of what he was saying to that girl.....the thoughts that were going thru his head at the time when he was doing it. He says he didnt follow thru with the talk and I believe him but I keep thinking what if he had? How would I handle this rejection? How would I go on with things when I know I wouldnt be able to have him.
I have seen woman forgive me of cheating and I always said I would never do that, but now I am scared that I cant live with out him and would forgive too much.
I am concerned now as to wether or not I need to keep worrying about him going out to poker is he gonna do it again? is he thinking about doing it again?
He says he wont but how can I be sure how can he be sure??
If it was just for a fuck for some one night stand thing where he was horny I would be able to handle this chatting up someone better but I dont know if it was jsut for that.
If he is lonely and needs intamacy he isnt going to get it off a one night stand, should I have him come to me instead?
Would I be fine with that? Could I have him come to me for comfort for intamacy for sex and know that we are not back together? Would I be able to handle that? I know I would prefer that to him going to find it else where. but he said he wouldnt do it again so do I trust that or put myself in a position I not sure if I would be comfortable with to save our future?