Singin' In The Rain Fanfic: Lina Lamont's Big Revenge
Title: Lina Lamont's Big Revenge
Fandom: Singin In The Rain
Summary: Written for Yuletide, for
kannaophelia
Seeing Stars with Dora Bailey - March, 1930
Of all the beloved stars who’ve left the screen since the introduction of sound pictures, few have made a more spectacular exit than my dear friend, Miss Lina Lamont. Loyal readers of this column will surely remember the exciting events at the premier of The Dancing Cavalier, when a curtain was suddenly pulled aside to reveal a then-unknown actress who appeared to be singing in Miss Lamont’s place.
Those of us who are fortunate enough to be acquainted with Miss Lamont personally know that she has a sweet, melodious voice, never to be confused with the soulful depths of the voice we had heard in the film. Clearly, this was some new invention from those clever men in the sound department. Monumental Pictures chose this humorous demonstration to showcase their pioneering technique of “dubbing” or “looping” sound, which has proven so useful in creating the films we love.
Foolishly, some newspapers failed to see this publicity event for what it was. A few overexcited reports claimed that a hoax had been exposed, and a great star brought low. Much ink was wasted on droll, scurrilous articles, which their authors surely came to regret later.
Miss Lamont recently invited me into her gracious home, which some readers may remember profiled in the August edition. Over tea, I asked Miss Lamont about the affair.
“Of course, it was all arranged in advance,” she said, laughing at the gullibility of some reporters. “It was my last film, and the studio wanted to give me a really memorable send-off, something they’ll be talking about for years.”
But wouldn’t she have preferred something more dignified?
“Oh Dora,” she said charmingly, “only a deeply insecure actor would insist on always maintaining their dignity. A star of my caliber doesn’t have to worry about that. Nobody makes a fool out of Lina Lamont.”
But why retire at all? Doesn’t she know that her fans have been heartbroken at her departure? Or does she agree with Mr Chaplin, (who has insisted that the Little Tramp will never speak,) that talking pictures have destroyed the art of film, and that beauty belongs solely in the realm of pantomime?
“I couldn’t possibly comment,” she said demurely.
What does she say to those who refuse to believe that the Dancing Cavalier incident was planned, and insist that a stagehand must have accidentally pulled the curtain?
“Believe me,” she said, with a passionate intensity that brooked no argument, “that was no accident.”
She seemed annoyed at the question, but after a moment, she laughed with real amusement.
“Anyway, what studio would sabotage their biggest star like that? Even if they had no sense of loyalty, or respect for a player’s earnings, surely they would know that any actor with a decent lawyer could sue for breach of contract? After all, I controlled my own publicity. Oh, we used to joke about how I could have changed the name of the studio to “Lamont Pictures” if they wrote something about me I didn’t like. Imagine if they had pulled something so outrageous, unthinkable, unforgivable…” She threw up her hands, smiling. “Well, what couldn’t I do?”
So, how did she like being a producer?
“It’s great. I always thought R.F. just went around telling people what to do, and as it turns out, I’m pretty good at that myself.”
That’s R.F. Simpson, the head of Monumental Pictures?
“Yes. My partner.”
Isn’t it difficult, being a lady producer in Hollywood?
“Everyone always asks me that,” she frowned. “Listen, when I started in pictures, half the directors in this town were women, and plenty of big stars had their own production companies. What do they think I am? If little Mary Pickford can do it, so can I.”
Still, it must be helpful to have old friends around to support her. The Dancing Cavalier himself, Don Lockwood, and Cosmo Brown, Monumental’s musical director, have been close friends with Miss Lamont since her earliest days in films. They must be delighted to now be working for such a charming employer.
“Don’t worry,” she said earnestly, “ I remember who my friends are.”
And that brings us back to the girl behind the curtain: Kathy Selden, one of Monumental Pictures’ hottest talents.
“We’re like sisters,” Lina confirms.
They’re much more than that. Lina has been a friend and mentor to young Kathy, and has closely followed and guided her career.
“Oh, yes. I insisted, “ Lina told me. “When I agreed to take my current position, I was very clear about that little point.”
Miss Selden herself acknowledged the influence of Miss Lamont in a recent interview.
“It’s true. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for Lina Lamont. I’m very aware of her interest in my career. I feel like she’s always watching me.”
When asked how she first met her benefactor, Miss Selden seemed unsure how to answer. Then she smiled.
“Like everyone else - in a darkened theater, on the screen. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Who would have thought she would turn out to be such a lovely person?”
It must be a dream come true to be working so closely with her idol.
“At times, I could just pinch myself,” she admitted. “It’s certainly like nothing I ever imagined.”
Miss Selden has thrived under her friend’s tutelage. From small parts in the chorus line, she has become one of the most adventurous actresses in film, taking parts that many less confident players would never dare. To the delight of all, the gamble has paid off, and Kathy Selden has emerged as one of the most exciting new voices in talking pictures.
No stranger to unusual stunts or exotic locations, Miss Selden has proven herself in a variety of roles so diverse as to make Lon Chaney balk. Most beloved for her roles in musical comedy, she seems determined to challenge herself in every film she makes. All of it, many attest, is due to the gentle encouragement of her mentor.
“My life has definitely taken an interesting turn since I met Lina Lamont,” Miss Selden asserted. “But if she can think of it, I can do it. Snake charming? Cliff diving? I can’t wait so see what she will come up with next.”
“I’m delighted with her success, naturally,” Lina told me. “Monumental wants all it’s employees to do well.”
“Since I got my pilot’s license, (during the filming of “Up In The Air”, a role Miss Lamont had commissioned especially for her friend,) I’ve offered to take her flying, in appreciation for all she’s done for me. Please tell Miss Lamont I will be happy to take her up any time.”
“She said that, did she?” Lina asked, grinning. “Well, I would love to go, of course. I understand she’s gotten very good at the loop-de-loops. Unfortunately, I’m afraid she won’t have time. There’s a lion-tamer scene that’s just been added to her upcoming film, and I expect she’ll be busy.”
Miss Lamont may have no fear of sending her protégé to the lions, but she has recently proven much more protective about the press. When a certain well-known critic ridiculed Miss Selden in his column, Lina Lamont came down on him with all the fury that we in the press remember only too well from her own days in film.
“My feelings about Miss Selden, whatever they may be, have nothing to do with it,” she insisted. “It’s my job to protect the interests of Monumental Pictures. That’s all.” She seemed uncomfortable with the subject. Then she added, “Anyway, I’m her mentor. It says so in all the papers. I’m supposed to look after her, aren’t I?”
None doubt the generosity of Miss Lamont, or that the collaboration has worked out well for both of them. In fact, there is a rumor that the entire Dancing Cavalier affair was arranged, by Miss Lamont, as a favor to help launch her friend’s career. Confronted with this, Miss Lamont seemed nonplussed. “That’s what they’re saying?” she asked, shaking her head. Then she shrugged. “Ok. Sure. You got me. The whole thing was my big-hearted gift to Kathy Selden. I hope she’s grateful.” She seemed put out that her scheme had been exposed, but then chuckled. “It worked out, didn’t it? I guess I have a voice in film after all.”
Fandom: Singin In The Rain
Summary: Written for Yuletide, for
kannaophelia
Seeing Stars with Dora Bailey - March, 1930
Of all the beloved stars who’ve left the screen since the introduction of sound pictures, few have made a more spectacular exit than my dear friend, Miss Lina Lamont. Loyal readers of this column will surely remember the exciting events at the premier of The Dancing Cavalier, when a curtain was suddenly pulled aside to reveal a then-unknown actress who appeared to be singing in Miss Lamont’s place.
Those of us who are fortunate enough to be acquainted with Miss Lamont personally know that she has a sweet, melodious voice, never to be confused with the soulful depths of the voice we had heard in the film. Clearly, this was some new invention from those clever men in the sound department. Monumental Pictures chose this humorous demonstration to showcase their pioneering technique of “dubbing” or “looping” sound, which has proven so useful in creating the films we love.
Foolishly, some newspapers failed to see this publicity event for what it was. A few overexcited reports claimed that a hoax had been exposed, and a great star brought low. Much ink was wasted on droll, scurrilous articles, which their authors surely came to regret later.
Miss Lamont recently invited me into her gracious home, which some readers may remember profiled in the August edition. Over tea, I asked Miss Lamont about the affair.
“Of course, it was all arranged in advance,” she said, laughing at the gullibility of some reporters. “It was my last film, and the studio wanted to give me a really memorable send-off, something they’ll be talking about for years.”
But wouldn’t she have preferred something more dignified?
“Oh Dora,” she said charmingly, “only a deeply insecure actor would insist on always maintaining their dignity. A star of my caliber doesn’t have to worry about that. Nobody makes a fool out of Lina Lamont.”
But why retire at all? Doesn’t she know that her fans have been heartbroken at her departure? Or does she agree with Mr Chaplin, (who has insisted that the Little Tramp will never speak,) that talking pictures have destroyed the art of film, and that beauty belongs solely in the realm of pantomime?
“I couldn’t possibly comment,” she said demurely.
What does she say to those who refuse to believe that the Dancing Cavalier incident was planned, and insist that a stagehand must have accidentally pulled the curtain?
“Believe me,” she said, with a passionate intensity that brooked no argument, “that was no accident.”
She seemed annoyed at the question, but after a moment, she laughed with real amusement.
“Anyway, what studio would sabotage their biggest star like that? Even if they had no sense of loyalty, or respect for a player’s earnings, surely they would know that any actor with a decent lawyer could sue for breach of contract? After all, I controlled my own publicity. Oh, we used to joke about how I could have changed the name of the studio to “Lamont Pictures” if they wrote something about me I didn’t like. Imagine if they had pulled something so outrageous, unthinkable, unforgivable…” She threw up her hands, smiling. “Well, what couldn’t I do?”
So, how did she like being a producer?
“It’s great. I always thought R.F. just went around telling people what to do, and as it turns out, I’m pretty good at that myself.”
That’s R.F. Simpson, the head of Monumental Pictures?
“Yes. My partner.”
Isn’t it difficult, being a lady producer in Hollywood?
“Everyone always asks me that,” she frowned. “Listen, when I started in pictures, half the directors in this town were women, and plenty of big stars had their own production companies. What do they think I am? If little Mary Pickford can do it, so can I.”
Still, it must be helpful to have old friends around to support her. The Dancing Cavalier himself, Don Lockwood, and Cosmo Brown, Monumental’s musical director, have been close friends with Miss Lamont since her earliest days in films. They must be delighted to now be working for such a charming employer.
“Don’t worry,” she said earnestly, “ I remember who my friends are.”
And that brings us back to the girl behind the curtain: Kathy Selden, one of Monumental Pictures’ hottest talents.
“We’re like sisters,” Lina confirms.
They’re much more than that. Lina has been a friend and mentor to young Kathy, and has closely followed and guided her career.
“Oh, yes. I insisted, “ Lina told me. “When I agreed to take my current position, I was very clear about that little point.”
Miss Selden herself acknowledged the influence of Miss Lamont in a recent interview.
“It’s true. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for Lina Lamont. I’m very aware of her interest in my career. I feel like she’s always watching me.”
When asked how she first met her benefactor, Miss Selden seemed unsure how to answer. Then she smiled.
“Like everyone else - in a darkened theater, on the screen. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Who would have thought she would turn out to be such a lovely person?”
It must be a dream come true to be working so closely with her idol.
“At times, I could just pinch myself,” she admitted. “It’s certainly like nothing I ever imagined.”
Miss Selden has thrived under her friend’s tutelage. From small parts in the chorus line, she has become one of the most adventurous actresses in film, taking parts that many less confident players would never dare. To the delight of all, the gamble has paid off, and Kathy Selden has emerged as one of the most exciting new voices in talking pictures.
No stranger to unusual stunts or exotic locations, Miss Selden has proven herself in a variety of roles so diverse as to make Lon Chaney balk. Most beloved for her roles in musical comedy, she seems determined to challenge herself in every film she makes. All of it, many attest, is due to the gentle encouragement of her mentor.
“My life has definitely taken an interesting turn since I met Lina Lamont,” Miss Selden asserted. “But if she can think of it, I can do it. Snake charming? Cliff diving? I can’t wait so see what she will come up with next.”
“I’m delighted with her success, naturally,” Lina told me. “Monumental wants all it’s employees to do well.”
“Since I got my pilot’s license, (during the filming of “Up In The Air”, a role Miss Lamont had commissioned especially for her friend,) I’ve offered to take her flying, in appreciation for all she’s done for me. Please tell Miss Lamont I will be happy to take her up any time.”
“She said that, did she?” Lina asked, grinning. “Well, I would love to go, of course. I understand she’s gotten very good at the loop-de-loops. Unfortunately, I’m afraid she won’t have time. There’s a lion-tamer scene that’s just been added to her upcoming film, and I expect she’ll be busy.”
Miss Lamont may have no fear of sending her protégé to the lions, but she has recently proven much more protective about the press. When a certain well-known critic ridiculed Miss Selden in his column, Lina Lamont came down on him with all the fury that we in the press remember only too well from her own days in film.
“My feelings about Miss Selden, whatever they may be, have nothing to do with it,” she insisted. “It’s my job to protect the interests of Monumental Pictures. That’s all.” She seemed uncomfortable with the subject. Then she added, “Anyway, I’m her mentor. It says so in all the papers. I’m supposed to look after her, aren’t I?”
None doubt the generosity of Miss Lamont, or that the collaboration has worked out well for both of them. In fact, there is a rumor that the entire Dancing Cavalier affair was arranged, by Miss Lamont, as a favor to help launch her friend’s career. Confronted with this, Miss Lamont seemed nonplussed. “That’s what they’re saying?” she asked, shaking her head. Then she shrugged. “Ok. Sure. You got me. The whole thing was my big-hearted gift to Kathy Selden. I hope she’s grateful.” She seemed put out that her scheme had been exposed, but then chuckled. “It worked out, didn’t it? I guess I have a voice in film after all.”