61F - 36F : Sunny
Last night the women from fannish widows told me they all got antidepressants when their husbands died. The schizoaffective group also told me they all have antidepressants. Thus, I suspect my doctor of negligence in not giving me one, and have written to the new lady to ask for one. If she says no, I will complain to the patient advocate and see about getting one anyway. This "well it's just grief, you gotta get through it" is apparently bullshit and literally everyone except for me was given an antidepressant for it. Why my doctor is trying to torture me, I don't know, but I am displeased.
Well, I went to bed at midnight last night, and although Tabby texted a few times, I was certainly asleep by 12:30. I woke up no problem at 8:15 and ate some pretzels in case there was no breakfast at the thing today. Then I got on my way, and got to temple promptly at 9:30. There were boxed breakfasts with fruit in them as well as (duh) bagels, so I ate one and looked at the schedule for today.
Guys, when they asked me to speak at temple I assumed everyone was going to get a brief thing to say. After all, I am no one special. Well we finished breakfast and went for services and only two of us had been asked to speak. I had the topic "welcoming" and someone else had the topic "freedom." We sang a few prayers and I gave my speech. Everyone laughed when I said Rabbi Lebow had introduced me to Vivian on my first visit to the temple, which I hadn't meant to be funny, but okay.
We went back into the social hall for a Torah study on the topic of Aaron's sons who got burned alive for fucking around in the tabernacle. We've decided this is another story that likely has some truth to it in that if you fuck around with fire and oil it's very easy to get burned to death, and the story can easily go around that god did it. We ate lunch, which was from Panera, but actually had sizeable portions, unlike actual food at Panera.
After that we broke into breakout groups. I went to one on self care. It wasn't very organized and was basically just people saying what they did for self care, or why they didn't do self care. The most notable part of it is that my doctor had told me when I skipped a year's worth of cycles, I could assume that was menopause and stop worrying about it. Today we're in month 14, and the flood gates opened, and that was apparently not menopause, just a year and a bit break. Because my doctor had told me I'd been through menopause I did not have any emergency supplies. So that was a ton of fun. Fortunately the bathroom had a vending machine. Unfortunately I didn't have a quarter, but that was more easily solved than it might have been.
After that problem, we went into the social hall to make hamsas (the little hands with eyes on them that ward off the evil eye) in picture frames to donate to JFCS to give to their Holocaust survivors group. Before we did that Addie had a little history of the hamsa, which we think comes from Islam through the Sephardic jews in Spain and then to Ashkenazim later. We finished that and then took a group picture, and said goodbye.
I got back in my car and drove to the pool to meet Donna. My "low gas" alarm went off as I was getting off 285 and onto 141, so I had to stop and buy gas. It is important to note that my credit card worked at this point, and it worked again at the pool.
Donna and I walked and talked in a very crowded pool for an hour. Then I came home to a very cranky dog. I let him out and then fed them. Then I got a message from my instacart driver saying "hey your payment has been declined." I tried to get ahold of someone at my bank but even trying to report the card stolen didn't get me a human being. Since I couldn't do anything about it I figured I just wouldn't get my groceries and that would be the end of it. But then... then I did get my groceries. So at this point I'm operating under the assumption that the instacart driver told me it wasn't working to try to get me to give her another credit card that she could then steal. I reported her to instacart.
Just to top off my frustration with her, though, she didn't find or replace a critical ingredient in this week's cooking and I had to find a replacement myself and then do a whole second order just to get some sweet potatoes. And how hard is it to find sweet potatoes? Literally any of them would do. I am certain that there were sweet potatoes somewhere in that store. (also the credit card worked for the 2nd instacart order).
Just to make sure my credit card was working, I used it to order some Mexican food. This also came with no problems. But when I opened my dinner, Jack didn't come running, so I had to go look for him, because that's really unusual behavior. He was found on the fucking bed eating Rogue's dinner. Great. Him getting up there to eat is even worse than him getting up there to be with me. If he gets up there to be with me, at least he's likely to stay up there unless someone knocks on the door or otherwise excites him. If he gets up there to eat Rogue's dinner, he'll jump down when he's done, and I don't want him to jump down.
So anyway, I need to buy a new bed. It'll come out of the new fridge/washer/dryer fund, and there is plenty there, so this isn't a problem other than that I have no idea where to go to buy a new bed affordably. And don't really have time to go there until maybe the 19th of next month. I really hope my dog doesn't hurt himself before then... I guess I can go on the 10th of next month if I don't go to the gym. That's only one more week that the dog is actually home.
I finished dinner, and checked on Zelensky (I'm late today). Then I read LJ and DW. That was apparently all the time I had for today and I started writing about 10 minutes early because I didn't want to get into something and forget.
I've set a new writing goal of 35k for the month, which will get me up to 108k, which isn't quite the 110 I'd like to have, but 110 still requires 1k per day, and I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to that. 35k requires 750 per day from now on, and I think I can hit that, especially if I actually sit down and write one day before the end of the month.