(no subject)
Well, things are going better and worse than I had anticipated, which I suppose is both good and bad. My wife keeps saying that she's surprised at how well I'm handling everything... and I don't know how to take that. On one hand, this could mean "I find how you're handling this an attractive feature, and I'm pleasantly surprised by this and this may indeed cut down the time in which I'm putting you through hell. It's easier to get my shit together when you're acting like this".
On the other hand, it could mean "wow.. I didn't know you could take this much abuse and not collapse. I'll start thinking of new ways to make your life miserable, as clearly you are an open vessel for everything that I don't like in my life". It's odd how one compliment can mean two so very different things.
Also a mixed bag... she says she likes the idea of the long distance relationship thing. On the other hand... she's not exactly acting like it. She's personable when she comes over, but distant. She's acting like a mediocre friend... the kind who is pleasant company but wouldn't be there if you needed them. I always thought the "distant" part of a long distance relationship was living quarters, not attitude. For all I know what she likes about the idea is that she can extend the entire divorce process, so in a couple months when she decides to go through with it anyway, I'll be too tired and broken to even move.
Also... she doesn't seem very happy. What's the point of making my life miserable if she gets no gain from it? I suppose there is a good way of looking at this... if leaving me offers her no happiness, then maybe she needed to do this to learn that it was not the move for her. But I don't think it will happen like that. She'll learn to adapt to her new environment, just like all humans tend to do, and then she'll think that she's happy now and it's because I'm not there. But she still won't really be any happier, she'll just have adapted... which is the worst possibility of all, because then my life will be decimated and hers will still not be much better.
On the other hand, it could mean "wow.. I didn't know you could take this much abuse and not collapse. I'll start thinking of new ways to make your life miserable, as clearly you are an open vessel for everything that I don't like in my life". It's odd how one compliment can mean two so very different things.
Also a mixed bag... she says she likes the idea of the long distance relationship thing. On the other hand... she's not exactly acting like it. She's personable when she comes over, but distant. She's acting like a mediocre friend... the kind who is pleasant company but wouldn't be there if you needed them. I always thought the "distant" part of a long distance relationship was living quarters, not attitude. For all I know what she likes about the idea is that she can extend the entire divorce process, so in a couple months when she decides to go through with it anyway, I'll be too tired and broken to even move.
Also... she doesn't seem very happy. What's the point of making my life miserable if she gets no gain from it? I suppose there is a good way of looking at this... if leaving me offers her no happiness, then maybe she needed to do this to learn that it was not the move for her. But I don't think it will happen like that. She'll learn to adapt to her new environment, just like all humans tend to do, and then she'll think that she's happy now and it's because I'm not there. But she still won't really be any happier, she'll just have adapted... which is the worst possibility of all, because then my life will be decimated and hers will still not be much better.