(no subject)
Development of the month. I'm a tool. soo...
So I went to the doctor and got put on Strattera for depression and ADD. After a a week of being on it I felt like a lazy, confused, angry zombie. Fuck that. I quit taking after I beat the shit out of my car. At least the drug and I agree on one thing... my car sucks and deserves to die. My mood went from being a feeling okay-zombie to an angry-zombie at least 5 times an hour. I couldn't sleep through the night, i'd wake up several times in the night. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow and telling them that I refuse to take any more strattera and see that they suggest.
I have homework due tuesday... but I was so fucked up on strattera when it was assigned I have no idea what the assignment is... all I know is that it's a "major grade" so that's awesome. *shrug* I'm sure it wont kill me. Maybe if I tell my instructor that I was on drugs he'll give me more time... and the assignment...
Went to downtown rocks with Alice and Chris yesterday. It started off kinda slow and blah because it was hot. But the party definatly picked up when weezer came on stage. We ran into brian in the crowd and managed to get pretty deep into the crowd. Chris pointed out that the guy right next to us was smoking pot. So i just looked at the guy and gave him a knowing grin... next thing I know he taps me on the arm and hands it to me. YAY! Score! So he shares his J with alice and I (chris doesn't smoke). This guy was soooooo gone man lol. the whole time he only said two words to me.. he said "keep it". double score! So, last time I get jipped and end up with a $12 beer and this time I get free pot. mmmm yin-yang. Saw brian, brianna, and sarah there.
So after the concert we attempt to board the marta. That was fun. We can't get on the first two, I make it onto the third one... but chris and alice couldn't make it. so I push through all the people and go out the other side of the train. I run around back to them... I'm glad I have a sense of direction. It appears that even when stoned my sense of direction stays crisp. which is good lol. I stay high for so long! it's annoying sometimes. Like everyone else can be down and i'll be high as a kite still. I finally came down at steak 'n' shake (about 4 hours after smoking). Chris got a cute girl's number there. wooot.
So, right now I guess i'm ok in most major aspects of life. The Alice and I situation is complex and difficult. I feel like I shouldn't see anyone else even though we aren't together. Sometimes I think Alice and I could work. Then sometimes I feel like I have to see other people because I don't want it to be a problem later in life. Makes me want a "what-if" machine. I just have to know. And I don't want her to just wait around for me... I mean do, but obviously that not fair. And I would feel like total shit all the time. I just know that in the current situation I'm always hurting her. And I just can't keep doing that. So something must be figured out... because it hurts me so bad to see her cry.
Booo, can't end this on a bad note. Alice had locked her keys in her car before the concert. So after steak 'n' shake we come back to my house so I can get stuff to stay at chris' houss... and a coat hanger. we go back to Alice's car and try to get it unlocked with no luck. We asked the cops in the police station (walking distance) if they could help us and they said they couldn't pop people's car door locks anymore because sometimes it damages the lock mechanism, and people had been suing the county for damages. omg. So we give up, and I take alice home telling her not to worry that my dad would be able to open it tomorrow (which he did). Chris and I went back out to his house (paulding) and watched "boogeyman" lol. it wasn't that good of a movie... espically it's plot. But it did manage to give me chills, something no other movie has succeded in doing.
So I went to the doctor and got put on Strattera for depression and ADD. After a a week of being on it I felt like a lazy, confused, angry zombie. Fuck that. I quit taking after I beat the shit out of my car. At least the drug and I agree on one thing... my car sucks and deserves to die. My mood went from being a feeling okay-zombie to an angry-zombie at least 5 times an hour. I couldn't sleep through the night, i'd wake up several times in the night. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow and telling them that I refuse to take any more strattera and see that they suggest.
I have homework due tuesday... but I was so fucked up on strattera when it was assigned I have no idea what the assignment is... all I know is that it's a "major grade" so that's awesome. *shrug* I'm sure it wont kill me. Maybe if I tell my instructor that I was on drugs he'll give me more time... and the assignment...
Went to downtown rocks with Alice and Chris yesterday. It started off kinda slow and blah because it was hot. But the party definatly picked up when weezer came on stage. We ran into brian in the crowd and managed to get pretty deep into the crowd. Chris pointed out that the guy right next to us was smoking pot. So i just looked at the guy and gave him a knowing grin... next thing I know he taps me on the arm and hands it to me. YAY! Score! So he shares his J with alice and I (chris doesn't smoke). This guy was soooooo gone man lol. the whole time he only said two words to me.. he said "keep it". double score! So, last time I get jipped and end up with a $12 beer and this time I get free pot. mmmm yin-yang. Saw brian, brianna, and sarah there.
So after the concert we attempt to board the marta. That was fun. We can't get on the first two, I make it onto the third one... but chris and alice couldn't make it. so I push through all the people and go out the other side of the train. I run around back to them... I'm glad I have a sense of direction. It appears that even when stoned my sense of direction stays crisp. which is good lol. I stay high for so long! it's annoying sometimes. Like everyone else can be down and i'll be high as a kite still. I finally came down at steak 'n' shake (about 4 hours after smoking). Chris got a cute girl's number there. wooot.
So, right now I guess i'm ok in most major aspects of life. The Alice and I situation is complex and difficult. I feel like I shouldn't see anyone else even though we aren't together. Sometimes I think Alice and I could work. Then sometimes I feel like I have to see other people because I don't want it to be a problem later in life. Makes me want a "what-if" machine. I just have to know. And I don't want her to just wait around for me... I mean do, but obviously that not fair. And I would feel like total shit all the time. I just know that in the current situation I'm always hurting her. And I just can't keep doing that. So something must be figured out... because it hurts me so bad to see her cry.
Booo, can't end this on a bad note. Alice had locked her keys in her car before the concert. So after steak 'n' shake we come back to my house so I can get stuff to stay at chris' houss... and a coat hanger. we go back to Alice's car and try to get it unlocked with no luck. We asked the cops in the police station (walking distance) if they could help us and they said they couldn't pop people's car door locks anymore because sometimes it damages the lock mechanism, and people had been suing the county for damages. omg. So we give up, and I take alice home telling her not to worry that my dad would be able to open it tomorrow (which he did). Chris and I went back out to his house (paulding) and watched "boogeyman" lol. it wasn't that good of a movie... espically it's plot. But it did manage to give me chills, something no other movie has succeded in doing.