Inquiry: Day Eight, 11 a.m. - James Wilson 8/8
Title: InquiryAuthor: zeppomarx
Characters: All the usual suspects, plus more.
Summary: When a panel is convened to review the facts of Gregory House’s life, his fellows (past and present), colleagues, patients and friends are called to testify.
Thanks: To Brigid45, for her infinite wisdom and advice.
Warnings, etc.: Possible character death.
Disclaimers: Don't own House or any of the show's characters. If I did, things might have gone a little differently.
Chapter Summary: Testimony of James Wilson, Part 8
Day Eight, 11 a.m.
After the panel, the reporter and Wilson had settled themselves back in following the break, the questioning continued.
“Before they broke up, would you say that Gregory House and Lisa Cuddy were a good couple, a happy couple?”
Wilson struggled to reconcile what he’d believed at the time with what he’d reflected upon since then. He remembered how unyielding Cuddy had been after the breakup, how unwilling she had been to try to rectify such a horrible situation. It wasn’t just that she wouldn’t get back together with Greg -- he hadn’t really expected that to happen, although he’d hoped she’d be more understanding and give him one more chance -- but she wouldn’t intervene when he was so clearly in trouble because of the way she’d broken up with him. “I… I don’t know. When they were together, I guess I thought they were happy. But now I’m not sure.”
“Why not?”
“When they first got together, she told him she didn’t want him to change. After they broke up, she admitted that she’d been wrong… she had wanted him to change. Even fairly early on in their relationship, that was pretty apparent. She couldn’t seem to accept him the way he was. She was constantly nagging him about something or other, forever on his case about things. Some of it was work -- she definitely brought their personal relationship into the workplace -- and some of it was personal between the two of them. I think, to be fair to her, her expectations were so high that no one could ever possibly live up them. And God knows Greg tried. He really, really tried.”
“Could you give us an example of how she brought their relationship into the workplace?”
“To do that, I’ll have to give a little history of how they had worked together before.”
“Proceed.”
“House had always played games with her, sometimes even lying to her so he could treat a patient the way he saw fit. I mean, if he suspected that she would turn down a specific test or treatment, he might lie to her about it and then do an end run. But after they got together, when he did exactly the same thing -- and, by the way, saved the patient doing it -- she behaved like a junior high princess about it. She got very worked up, really out of proportion to what he’d done. For days, she pouted and glared at him -- gave him the cold shoulder -- until he finally apologized and swore he’d never lie to her again. Of course, given his nature, that wasn’t very realistic.”
“So you might say that she expected him to behave differently at work once they were a couple than she had before they got together?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so.”
“Any other examples you’d care to share with us?”
“Of course, there was the whole thing with her mother.”
“We’ve heard a little about that, but would you give us the background?”
“Sure. Lisa had always believed her mother was a hypochondriac, and had dismissed her medical issues. Lisa assigned the case to Greg. At first, he felt it wasn’t his kind of case, and he accused her of being too emotionally invested. But she wouldn’t budge. She wanted him to treat her mother, and he gave in, but believed it was mostly hypochondria. Arlene -- that’s Cuddy’s mother -- got annoyed at House and refused to keep him on as her doctor. If I remember correctly, then her mother got genuinely sick, and no one knew why, so naturally, Lisa insisted that House stay on the case, but on the sly.”
“What happened then?”
“He was uncomfortable going behind Arlene’s back that way and didn’t want to stay on the case at all because he felt the emotions involved would create problems -- which they certainly did -- but Lisa insisted. Finally, when things got very bad, he confronted Lisa and told her she needed to come clean with her mother, which eventually led the two of them to reconcile and House to diagnose her illness.”
“It sounds as if you’re saying she used her position as his supervisor to influence their relationship… and used their relationship as a tool to get what she wanted from him at work.”
“I think that’s a fair assessment.”
“How would you describe the relationship as a whole?”
“I hate to say this, but it seemed like the longer they were together, the more she asked of him, and the more he had problems meeting her needs. I’m not saying he was perfect… God knows, he wasn’t. He was always unconventional, and anyone who expected him to be the typical boyfriend was in for a rude -- literally rude -- awaking. But this relationship meant so much to him that, as I understand it anyway, he actually told Lisa that if he had to, he would always choose her over his career… and his career had meant everything to him. He had really gone into the relationship 100 percent, and suddenly he was compromising and sublimating his own needs constantly, but she seemed unwilling to compromise on anything… she somehow felt she had to control absolutely everything. It was a recipe for disaster.”
“How did the relationship end?”
“Very unpleasantly. She had come to me after finding blood in her urine, and I had thought she had terminal cancer. House was absolutely terrified. I kept pressuring him to go be with her, but he was so afraid of losing her that he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He became immobilized by his fear. He made sure she was taken care of, sent his best people in to be with her, but he couldn’t seem to get it together to go sit by her side. I feel kind of responsible, because I just wouldn’t let up on him, and finally he did go to her.” Wilson felt his mind drift once again. Could this have been another time when his advice wasn’t presented in the best possible way? Was lecturing House to try to get him to Cuddy’s side really the best way to achieve the result he was after?
“Then what happened?”
He shook off the thoughts. “Somehow, she figured out that the only way he could have gotten himself to her side was if he had numbed himself out with Vicodin. Although he admitted that he had taken one pill -- just one pill -- she cut him loose, and was never willing to give him another chance after that. She simply cut him off with no warning. One minute they were together, and then, nothing. The ironic part was that he had taken that Vicodin, sacrificed his sobriety, because he was so very afraid of losing her. And then, because he had done so, that’s why he lost her. He had been completely invested in their relationship, even if he hadn't expressed it well. I don’t think she ever was. She expected him to stop being who he was, to compromise both personally and professionally.”
“Then what happened?”
“The downward spiral really began at that point.”
“Let me make sure I understand this. Despite his extreme leg pain, Dr. House had been able to stay off the Vicodin since he had been at Mayfield. Is that correct?”
“Yes, as far as I am aware.”
“And after, what, a year or so, under extreme duress, he had a relapse, which is not uncommon for people who have a dependence on drugs or for someone in that kind of extreme pain. Is that also correct?”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“But because of this one lapse, Dr. Cuddy ended their relationship?”
“Yes.”
“How did he react to the breakup, in your opinion?”
“He reacted badly. Very badly. He checked himself into a five-star hotel, got loaded on alcohol and Vicodin, spent days with assorted hookers, jumped off a balcony into the pool… I swear to God, I thought he was trying to kill himself… and then married one of those hookers in an attempt to see if Cuddy would stop him.”
“You say he married a hooker? From what we understand, his wife was a pastry chef at the hotel.”
Wilson couldn’t help himself. He gasped. What an idiot he was! Why had he automatically assumed that Domenika was a hooker? God, sometimes he was no better than Cuddy! “I’m sorry… I must have been under a mistaken impression.” He really needed to realign his thinking; it was obvious he’d made a lot of assumptions over the years without bothering to corroborate the facts.
“Did you contact Dr. Nolan about his relapse or self-destructive behavior?”
“No. I probably should have, but I didn’t.”
“Was there any other sort of intervention? Anything offered through the workplace to help him with his emotional turmoil and relapse?”
“No. Not really. I did try to talk to him about his behavior, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“You encouraged him to get help?”
“I-I… yes. Sort of. I tried to get him to move back in with me, tried to get him to see a counselor.”
“How did he respond?”
“Not well. He said he was talking to one of his hookers… I remember he called that baby steps. When I tried to get him to talk about things, he got really agitated. He yelled at me to leave him alone. Then, over the next few weeks, he seemed to increasingly resent my advice. Sometime later, he actually lost his temper and smashed the glass on a picture in my office with his cane.”
“Did it occur to you when he got upset that perhaps your approach might not have been the best way to deal with the situation? Or that his violent reaction might be indicative of more perilous emotional or physical difficulties?”
“At the time, no. I thought I was saying what he needed to hear and he was just resisting. I kept telling him he needed to deal with his feelings… that he would feel better if he did. I guess, in retrospect, though, I was pretty condescending toward him. And perhaps pushing him to deal with his feelings might have precipitated what happened afterward. I think maybe I could have handled it better. Much better.”
“What led up to the incident with Dr. Cuddy’s house?”
“I thought he was finally getting over her. One night, he and I were planning to go out, but he said he’d found her hairbrush at his place and wanted to return it. He seemed calm about it… he really did. But then, when we got there, something switched. He told me to get out of the car, and then he drove away like a bat out of hell down the street, turned around suddenly and drove up her driveway at full speed, right into her dining room.”
“What happened then?”
“He looked stunned. I remember he thanked me, and said he did feel better. After that, he just disappeared for a long time. The next thing I knew he was in prison. I was so angry with him for what he had done -- when he drove into her house, I’d jumped out of the way and broken my wrist -- I made no attempt to see him. We didn’t reconcile until after he was paroled and back at work.”
“But no one was hurt at Dr. Cuddy’s house?”
“No. Apparently, they had all left the dining room just before he crashed into it. I guess maybe he knew that, but I’m not sure.”
“Did anyone visit him in prison?”
“I don’t know. I was still pretty angry.”
“Did you know that he had turned himself in? That he had refused legal counsel and had willingly accepted a more severe sentence than his actions warranted?”
He had? “No, I wasn’t aware of that.”
“Let’s move forward and talk about what happened when you found out you had cancer.”
“It wasn’t very rational of me, but I decided I wanted to try a radical and dangerous treatment, and Greg helped me with it at his apartment.”
“So although he had been unable to be there for Dr. Cuddy during her cancer scare, he was there for you.”
Wow. He was, wasn’t he? “Yes, he was, although he didn’t want to do it -- he felt my chances were extremely good without it… and it turns out he was right -- as he so often was -- so he argued against the treatment. But when I insisted, he agreed. I was amazed. He actually gave up some of his Vicodin so I could get through it more easily. For the first time, I think I understood his pain and why he needed relief from it.”
“And then, afterward?”
“You know the rest.” Wilson dropped his head. “I’ve been such an idiot. For years, I treated him so badly, and yet he always hung in there with me. He was always a friend when I really… and I mean really… needed it. And I just couldn’t see it. I wish I had appreciated him more when I had the chance.”
Wilson felt tears pricking behind his eyes. His nemesis looked at him with something that appeared to sympathy. This time when she spoke up, her voice was soft. “I’m so sorry, Dr. Wilson. Sometimes it’s awfully hard to see ourselves objectively, isn’t it? Or to see our friends that way.”
Wilson nodded mutely, a lump caught in his throat. He chest felt tight.
She went on. “Why do you think you and Dr. House were friends, Dr. Wilson?”
It took Wilson a moment to pull himself together enough to speak. The panel waited patiently for him. “Despite his obvious flaws, he was always interesting, always entertaining, always unexpected. And I think Greg allowed me to be myself, warts and all. He always accepted me… even though I’m pretty sure that I was at least as bad as Lisa was about not really accepting him. I have no idea why he wanted to be friends with me, but in retrospect, I’m awfully glad he did.”
The woman nodded sympathetically. “Anything more you’d care to add?”
Wilson nodded again. “I genuinely think he was a tormented man. I believe he thought the only value he had was his medical mind. He always claimed that people don’t change, but I’d have to say, having watching him over many years, that he did change. In time, he became more closed off, more angry… more crazy, maybe… less focused on the medicine. And yet I think he tried so hard to change in positive ways, but I never really saw it while it was happening. I was too caught up in my preconceptions of him. Maybe…” His voice caught. He drew a long, shaky breath. “Maybe… if I had encouraged him instead of lecturing him, we might not be here now.”
“Anything else?”
“Just one more thing. I guess I spent years thinking House was a selfish bastard. I… I think… no, I know… I really underestimated him. A lot. I guess the truth of the matter is that, when it really counted, he was a far better friend to me than I was to him.”
“Thank you, Dr. Wilson,” said the woman he had perceived as his nemesis, “for your help in this matter, and for your honesty. We wish you well, both with your health and with your conscience.”
The panel chair added, “Let’s take a lunch break and see the next witness at 1 p.m.”
Day Eight, 1 p.m. - Rachel Cuddy