Inquiry: Day Eight, 9 a.m. - James Wilson 7
Title: InquiryAuthor: zeppomarx
Characters: All the usual suspects, plus more.
Summary: When a panel is convened to review the facts of Gregory House’s life, his fellows (past and present), colleagues, patients and friends are called to testify.
Thanks: To Brigid45, for her infinite wisdom and advice.
Warnings, etc.: Possible character death.
Disclaimers: Don't own House or any of the show's characters. If I did, things might have gone a little differently.
Chapter Summary: Testimony of James Wilson, Part 7
Day Eight, 9 a.m. -- Wednesday
During a long, sleepless night, the sheets hot and clammy against his skin, Wilson just couldn’t get comfortable, no matter what he did. By the time Tuesday’s miserable day of testifying had ended, Wilson was so stressed out that he could barely remember his own name, much less some of the details of what had taken place years ago.
He hated being put on the spot. When under pressure, he never seemed to think of the things he might have said in his own defense. Instead, his mind went blank, his heart pounded, and he just couldn’t pull his thoughts together. Of course, after testifying, once he got home, had some dinner and relaxed a bit, he began the whole “What I should have said was...” conversation in his head. He’d had the same problem with oral exams in school.
Throughout the endless night, his mind was whirling, and his stomach wasn’t too far behind. He’d always tried to do what was right for House, to help him, but what if his help wasn’t actually all that helpful? What if some of the things he’d done and said had instead been harmful? And what if he’d gotten so caught up in his own perceptions of things that he couldn’t see what was right in front of his nose?
These revolutionary ideas made him desperately uneasy. As he tossed and turned, Wilson came to the realization that he couldn’t keep ignoring this nagging voice inside… the one telling him that, just because you loved someone like a brother, it didn’t mean you always knew what was right for that person. Sometimes you could do or say something with the best of intentions… and it could turn out terribly wrong, damaging the person you loved most. Or you could overlook the positive in someone because you had become so convinced of the negative. Once again, he thought: The road to hell.
Maybe his view of House had gotten skewed over the years… and maybe his view of himself had, also. Maybe he hadn’t been the better person, at least not all the time, and maybe his attempts at “improving” House hadn’t been particularly constructive… or even very nice. Maybe… just maybe… he’d let House down as often as House had let him down. The difference was… and this was another new idea for Wilson… that House usually hadn’t kept rubbing his face in it when he, Wilson, was being an unmitigated jerk. House had just acknowledged it -- or ignored it -- and moved on.
It’s never easy to have to face ourselves as others see us, but this panel and its difficult questions had put Wilson in just that position. They held up a mirror in front of him, and the image he saw reflected in it wasn’t the person he thought he was. In fact, he found some of what he was being forced to revisit painfully unflattering. It was deeply disturbing to be forced to review some of those moments in his past when he’d felt so confident of his beliefs and actions… and to find that maybe… just maybe… he had made some serious errors in judgment.
After a restless night, consumed by these disconcerting thoughts and regrets, Dr. Wilson dragged himself back into the dark, stuffy room and reseated himself on the hard chair across from the panel. He felt wrung out emotionally, and hoped today’s proceedings would go better than yesterday’s.
It started out innocently enough. “Dr. Wilson, could you tell us about anything you might have observed about how Dr. House and Dr. Cuddy came to be involved in a sexual relationship?”
Whew, he thought. This was safe enough. “House had been interested in Cuddy for a long time… and it appeared to be mutual. After he was released from Mayfield, I encouraged him to pursue her more seriously. Of course, neither of us knew that she was already involved with Lucas Douglas.”
“She didn’t tell Dr. House about her relationship?”
“No, she didn’t. She didn’t tell me, either. In fact, I thought she kept flirting with House for quite some time after he left Mayfield, and then, all of a sudden, she seemed to cut him off once he returned to work.” Yet another thing he’d failed to notice while it was happening. Wilson saw several of the panel members making notes.
“How did Dr. House find out about her relationship with Mr. Douglas?”
“Well, that was really embarrassing. I was speaking at a conference, and I felt he wasn’t safe to be on his own, so I insisted that he come along. He was hesitant until he found out that Cuddy was going to be there, too. At one of the events, the two of them shared a romantic dance, but afterward, when I talked to Lisa about it, she told me that she couldn’t see getting involved with House, because she felt he would never be responsible enough to be a good father figure for her little girl. She never mentioned Lucas.”
“Then what happened?”
“I suggested that House offer to babysit, as a way to show her he could, indeed, be responsible. When he got to her hotel room, he found Lucas there, playing with little Rachel.”
“That must have been awkward, to say the least.”
“I’m sure it was. Greg really didn’t want to talk about it when he returned to our room, but I think he felt humiliated.”
“Was he angry with you for encouraging him?”
“No, he didn’t seem to be.”
“Did anything else happen on that trip?”
“Well, he drugged me.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“He drugged me. He’d found out that I was planning to speak about euthanasia… about the hard choices doctors are sometimes forced to make, using my own patients’ end-of-life issues as case studies. Apparently, he thought I would destroy my career if I made the presentation, so he drugged me, and then gave my speech under a pseudonym.”
“So, in essence, in a peculiar sort of way, it sounds as if he was trying to save your reputation and your career, and still get your message out to those attending the conference.”
“Yes, although initially, I didn’t see it that way. I was quite angry with him.”
“Did anything else happen on that trip?”
“The following morning, we had breakfast with Cuddy and Lucas.”
“How did that go?”
“Surprisingly well, actually, at least up to a point. House was on particularly good behavior. He was actually quite civil to Lucas.”
“Would you say he was taking the high road?”
“I… I guess he was. I know it doesn’t look particularly good for me, but I have tended to see House as someone who was incapable of functioning as an adult, someone who needed constant advice and supervision. The questions you asked during the last two days of proceedings have gotten me thinking about things… I may have… no… I did misjudge him. For a really long time, in fact.”
“It’s good of you to admit that, Dr. Wilson. Now, you said the breakfast went well up to a point. Did something occur during that meal you think might be pertinent?”
Wilson hesitated, because he didn’t care to implicate Cuddy. But it was pertinent, so he went ahead. “I hate to have to mention this, because I consider Lisa Cuddy a friend, but during breakfast, Lucas tried to provoke House by talking about his commitment to Mayfield and that delusion he’d had about Cuddy.”
“How would Mr. Douglas have known about that?”
“There was just one way he could have found out, especially about the delusion, and that was from Lisa. She and I were the only ones who knew about that, other than the staff at Mayfield.”
“Are you saying that she told her boyfriend -- who was, in a way, Dr. House’s romantic rival -- about confidential medical information pertaining to House’s psychiatric history?”
“I’m sorry to say that I am. There’s no way to avoid saying that Lisa had violated HIPAA regulations. She never should have shared House’s private medical information for nonmedical reasons, and she certainly knew better, because she administrated the HIPAA statutes for PPTH.”
Several panel members made notes again as he spoke; he felt vaguely sick for bringing it up. The penalties for a HIPAA violation of this type were extreme: Cuddy faced a potential fine of as much as $1.5 million and possibly even a jail sentence. Fortunately, the panel didn’t give him time to dwell.
“Moving forward… How did you discover that Dr. Cuddy and Dr. House had entered into a relationship?”
“It was a couple of days after the Trenton accident. They came into my office and announced it to me.”
“What was your reaction to this news?”
“I was surprised, to say the least. They hadn’t exactly been getting along lately, so at first I thought House was pulling my leg, but then Lisa confirmed it.” He’d been quite sure, in fact, that they were pranking him. The day before, after he had entered House’s apartment through the kitchen window, he had even been concerned House was having another breakdown when he had insisted he and Cuddy were involved.
“How would you describe their relationship?”
“House had always had a romantic streak in him… he tended to fall hard when he fell in love. For him, it was all or nothing. I mean, he and Stacy had started living together almost as soon as they met, and he was clearly thrilled to finally have a relationship with Lisa. For a few weeks, he seemed almost dazed by his good fortune.”
“You say he was romantic. Could you give us some examples of this romanticism?”
Wilson felt tightness settle in his chest as he thought back on House’s romantic gestures. Why had it always ended so badly for him? “The first thing that comes to mind,” he said, “was when Lisa was having her office redone, years before they got together as a couple. He arranged with her mother to have her desk from college restored and shipped to PPTH as a surprise.”
“That is pretty romantic. How did she react?”
“I don’t know. Neither of them ever mentioned it.”
“Any other romantic gestures that you can think of?”
“Well, let’s see… he had spent literally years tracking down a book written by her great-grandfather, who was also a doctor. It was something about the ‘Acute Abdomen’ -- I can’t recall the exact title. He held onto that book for a very long time, waiting for just the right time to present it to her. He finally gave it to her as a gift when he believed that she and Lucas were moving in together. Turns out they’d actually gotten engaged that morning… the morning of the Trenton building collapse.”
“That’s a pretty magnanimous gesture from someone who must have seen himself as a failed suitor, don’t you think? Do you know how she reacted to that gift?”
“I never heard anything from Greg about it. At the time, Lisa never mentioned it to me either. Later on, after she broke up with House, she told me that when he gave it to her, she was distracted by the details pertaining to the Trenton crash. And then during the day, as she thought about it, she hadn’t been sure that he might not be scamming her in some way… somehow using the book as a way to break up her relationship.”
“How could she perceive such a thoughtful gift was a scam?”
“I really don’t know. It doesn’t make much sense. I just know that’s what she told me.”
“So you would definitely describe Dr. House as a romantic,” the panel chair reiterated.
“Yes. Absolutely. He might not have believed in God or the afterlife, but he definitely believed in love. I think some small part of him always hoped he would finally be loved in return, loved unconditionally. The only problem was that he never seemed destined to find that kind of love. He was always let down, always betrayed. Even in his friendships -- and I have to include myself in that category -- he was always let down. And the more he was let down, the more closed off and hard-edged he became.”
“Thank you, Dr. Wilson. Let’s take a quick break, and meet back here in 15 minutes.”
Day Eight, 11 a.m. - Dr. James Wilson 8/8