new stuff + a heartfelt moment...
really i was just kidding about the heartfelt moment, but i do have some new lyrics here to go along with my lil blog on todays thoughts. first off last night left a weird taste in my mouth. the people i was around were very boring and dull. the people im talking about are my buddy Zach's "other" band. all of em are much much older and really plain. i just didnt dig the vibes last night, it was just all around weird. okay so yeah it just made me think a lot, which of course is somthing im trying to cut down on lol. it made me wonder about how long our band is going to remain a no name thing. i honestly questioned this without reason. when i listen to the songs were doing 1 and a half a month in and the songs that bands been doing for literally months and months, id have to say we have a pretty strong upper hand. our dynamic is just so amazingly present this early on. so yeah enough about that, it was just a weird night. today was another story. now last night i was around those people it was very awkward, tonight and today after work i was alone. i cant stress the fact enough, that since ive gotten away from being bound to my room, i cant be alone. i felt like complete shit all afternoon. i wrote a pretty crazy song depicting my feelings this afternoon, that u can read at the end of this. i walked into the pizza place to pick up dinner for mom and i, just being friendly with the girl behind the counter. shes cool, always there when i pick up food. tonight though it just seemed like she was staring through me, like i wasnt there. now im not trying to pick up this girl at all. it was just weird how she was acting. then to top it off a bunch of people came in. everyone was a couple, very orange county and perfect. somthing that i am far from (proud and cursed by that fact, or so i feel). the problem wasnt that they came in, it just felt again that they didnt even acknowledge my being there. call it a form of reverse paranoia or whatever, i just hate not being noticed. i mean fuck im 6'6 370 lbs dammit lol. not that that matters of course, but my insecurities dont allow me to not notice it. i just want a lil lovin people, thats all im askin for lol (sound desperate enough? okay thats where i stop) lol. i love writing these blogs as if im having a convo, and confusing the hell outta you guys with the weird ways i write. every thought is spiratic and random. HA... okay enough insanity. alright so now to the music. first off with the first song, its dedicated to my brother. i hadnt seen or talked to Joe (brother) in 4 years, so needless to say when i saw him again i had so much to talk to him about. though it doesnt work that way, it was as if i couldnt think of the words to say. i loved seeing him and talking with him, but it was just like what do i say?. this song though was easy flowing. just take the words of it as lil emotions you get when ur re-entering a realationship of any kind. the second song was my feelings song from this afternoon.
_
never half
how can i find the time to rewind
where do i go to get back on to the road
is their time to heal the wounds have been set
will their mending fade away all the regret
sit and tell me now, ur here to stay
ul never go away, our bond will never stray
ill never have to worry, of losing you again
and ul be okay, at the end of the day
and though time just may, fade this away
we still have today, and for tomorrow we can pray
why would you wanna leave this bond
how could you rape this trust
where would you go if no one knew
like you did before, in hiding from the truth
now you know, just how precious time can be
and if you try to run again, im gonna be right there now...waiting
memories will run, far far away
but they will never hide their face
just take a closer look, at the picture in ur mind
my shadow standing there, ive never left your side
and i never will
ill always be right there waiting
to catch you again...
this feels so right
standing here tonight
the moon still grows
and fills my eyes with light
it fits so well, a little fairy tale
the hero wins again
and if even if we fail, we will never bail
and again and again and again
you can try and hide, all inside
but ill see right through that
just hold on tight, and enjoy the ride
never ever ever ever let go
and as our story ends
i feel a sense that never bends
a bond that never breaks and sorrow you have to fake
just let the song take you away to whatever dream you make
_
*Me*
tie me
break me
lie to me
fake me
cry for me
wake me
try me
take me
u dont know me
u would never hold me
ud never love me
so why dont you kill me
beat me
scare me
cheat me
dare me
treat me
delete me
declare me
defeat me
u dont know me
u would never hold me
ud never love me
so why dont you kill me
u dont
want me
and you
never ever will
even if
i tried to be
just like
them
ud pass me by
no wonder why
ur just
like them
u dont know me
u would never hold me
ud never love me
so why dont you kill me
they...
lied to me
fucked me
beat me
raped me
cut me
broke me
whipped me
choked me
spit on me
shit on me
came on me
pissed on me
and left me their to die
and ill tell you the reason if u wonder why
it was all because of me
a reason that eludes me
all i wanted was to see
why they forgot about me
_
never half
how can i find the time to rewind
where do i go to get back on to the road
is their time to heal the wounds have been set
will their mending fade away all the regret
sit and tell me now, ur here to stay
ul never go away, our bond will never stray
ill never have to worry, of losing you again
and ul be okay, at the end of the day
and though time just may, fade this away
we still have today, and for tomorrow we can pray
why would you wanna leave this bond
how could you rape this trust
where would you go if no one knew
like you did before, in hiding from the truth
now you know, just how precious time can be
and if you try to run again, im gonna be right there now...waiting
memories will run, far far away
but they will never hide their face
just take a closer look, at the picture in ur mind
my shadow standing there, ive never left your side
and i never will
ill always be right there waiting
to catch you again...
this feels so right
standing here tonight
the moon still grows
and fills my eyes with light
it fits so well, a little fairy tale
the hero wins again
and if even if we fail, we will never bail
and again and again and again
you can try and hide, all inside
but ill see right through that
just hold on tight, and enjoy the ride
never ever ever ever let go
and as our story ends
i feel a sense that never bends
a bond that never breaks and sorrow you have to fake
just let the song take you away to whatever dream you make
_
*Me*
tie me
break me
lie to me
fake me
cry for me
wake me
try me
take me
u dont know me
u would never hold me
ud never love me
so why dont you kill me
beat me
scare me
cheat me
dare me
treat me
delete me
declare me
defeat me
u dont know me
u would never hold me
ud never love me
so why dont you kill me
u dont
want me
and you
never ever will
even if
i tried to be
just like
them
ud pass me by
no wonder why
ur just
like them
u dont know me
u would never hold me
ud never love me
so why dont you kill me
they...
lied to me
fucked me
beat me
raped me
cut me
broke me
whipped me
choked me
spit on me
shit on me
came on me
pissed on me
and left me their to die
and ill tell you the reason if u wonder why
it was all because of me
a reason that eludes me
all i wanted was to see
why they forgot about me