Sore Wa Yappari Kimi Deshita - An Arashi Story - Chapter 8
Title : Sore Wa Yappari Kimi Deshita - An Arashi Story - Chapter 8
Author :
zeon_avalanthe
Rating : G
Genre : Angst ; Friendship
Pairing : Gen
Disclaimer : Everyone knows that I don't own any of those boys, sadly.. And title is shamelessly taken from one of Nino's solo.. You'll know why..
Summary : It was a normal day with their last concert of this year's tour to come.. But why Aiba suddenly say he wants to quit Arashi ?
~Chapter 8~
Aiba’s Side
I just spent a whole day with the other Arashi members, performing 5x10 on the stage one last time, had a trip to Hakone and visit the most famous hotspring there with my family, and simply living life when I had to go back to the hospital. Everything had been okay, I didn’t do much but to sit around the corner and dazing out, when out of nowhere I felt a sharp pain on my chest.
My parents rushed me to the hospital at the first gasp I made, and the doctor told me that I will have to stay because of the sudden deterioration of my condition. I nodded at him, knowing that it’s best this way. After all, I have my last wish fulfilled already, I don’t have a regret.
I suppose my mum told the other Arashi members about this because they’re suddenly here the next time I woke up from my nap. They looked overly worried and I had to give them my absolute assurance for them to believe me that I’m okay now. We talked for a while, before they excused themselves because they still have dance rehearsals to attend. I bid them good luck as their figure disappearing behind the door.
I sighed as soon as they’re out of sights. I noticed that something is off with the four of them. Ever since that day they came over and led me to the stage to sing, I felt like they’re plotting something behind my back. And from what I noticed, I fear that they will do something I wish they never do.
I fished out my phone from the drawer and type a mail to my ex-manager. Ryu-chan is now working with some new talent, but we’ve known each other for so long that he’s more like a brother to me than a manager. I just hope he will listen to my request one last time. A buzz came from my phone, signaling me that a mail is coming. Quickly reading the content, I smiled as I finished.
I really hope this will work somehow.
***
“Thanks, Ryu-chan. I owe you a lot.”
I thanked my ex-manager as he collected the stuffs he brought with him.
“Don’t mind it, Aiba-chan. You were the very first talent I took care of, and you’d helped me a lot when I still don’t know much about the showbiz. It’s the least I could do to repay you.” The slightly older man smiled at me as he packed the camera into the bag.
“Have the date been decided yet ?” I asked him.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I heard that it will be held exactly on the anniversary day, but it still can change.”
“I hope you won’t have to use it, though.” I stared at the video record on Ryu-chan’s hands. “I hope this is just me over-thinking things.”
“Me, too.” Ryu-chan replied as he carefully put the record inside the bag. “Things won’t be easy and a lot will change from now on, but I believe that they can overcome it. It would be too sad if what you said were to happen for real.”
“Let’s just hope for the best, okay ?” I smiled, giving the man encouragement. But more than anything, it was myself I tried to encourage. Because truth to be told, I’m the one who feared it the most. Especially since I will be the cause of it all. And it’s painful whenever I thought about it.
“Let’s believe in those guys.”
***
Tomorrow is my birthday and I silently congratulate myself for surviving until today. The doctor was pleased to see me overcoming the time they had set for me, but also worried because my condition is keep on worsening each day. They told me that my body is already at it’s limit, and it’s a miracle that I could live this long. My dad came one day and told me that the reason I still live until today might be because I still have something to linger on. He told me to keep on clutching onto that string for as long as I can, that he and my mum and Yuusuke are fighting along with me.
The four Arashi members rarely come as of lately and I can’t blame them because they’re busy preparing for their concerts, which ends today. I don’t expect anyone to come today, as I stare blankly outside the window, mind wandered to the four Arashi members and what they might be doing now.
A soft knock came on my door, and I wondered as to who might be visiting at this time of hour. It’s almost six in the afternoon, almost the end of visiting time. I tell the visitor to come in though, and was surprised to see Johnny-san and his niece, Julie-san, with Ryu-chan standing a little behind them, on the doorstep. I quickly rise my bed so that I could face the man properly, and bow my head slightly as the old man enter the room.
Ryu-chan pulled a chair for Johnny-san and Julie-san to sit on as he, too, took a seat on the opposite of them, before Johnny-san began to speak.
“How are you feeling, Aiba-kun ?” The man smiled, his voice as serene as I remembered.
“It’s just as you can see, Sir.” I told him sheepishly, waving my hands to the many tubes and wires connected to my body.
“I’m sorry, it was insensitive of me to ask.” The man realized his words and said apologetically.
“Please don’t be.” I assured him. “It’s okay, Johnny-san.”
“If you said so.” The man smiled. “Though I’m concerned about your condition, my purpose of coming here is actually not that, Aiba-kun.” He said slowly. “Do you know that today Arashi is having their last concert for this year ?”
I nodded at him. Of course I know.
“The truth is, the four boys asked me a favour concerning today’s concert. And I just can’t say no.” He motioned Ryu-chan who immediately took out many stuffs from inside the suitcase they brought along. He pulled out a white screen and placing it across me, before taking out a laptop which he connected to a projector and showed the images to the white screen. I immediately noticed the faces of my ex-groupmates looking back at me, wearing the t-shirts I gave them as their birthday presents.
“Aiba-kun, happy birthday !” The four of them chorused.
“We are sorry we can’t be there for you now. But you know what ? We’ve prepared a special present for you !” Sho-chan begin with a wide smile.
“We are going to film today’s concert and show them to you live ! Isn’t it great ?” Riida followed soon after.
“We specially dedicated today’s concert just for you, Aiba-kun. We hope you like it !” MatsuJun waved his hand with a wink.
“We call it ‘Aiba-shi’s Birthday Celebration Special Concert’ ! You better like it because we worked our asses off for this, you know !” Nino throw in with his usual bratty remarks.
“Without further ado, let’s get on to the main thing.” Sho-chan said, signaling the three of them to sync with him. “Please enjoy !”
The screen blacked out and I turned to face Johnny-san tearfully.
“Johnny-san, this can’t be- ?” I gasped, still unable to believe the whole situation.
“We’ve asked the hospital’s permission to do this, and everything has been settled. The only thing left to do is to watch the show and enjoy them to our fullest, right ? Your parents and brother will be coming as well. They’re still talking with your doctor as of the moment. And as soon as they’re here, we will watch the concert together. Okay ?” The man looked at me, his eyes warm and his voice gentle. And all I could do is to nod my head gratefully, heart overflowing with emotions that I almost cried.
I was so happy that the four Arashi members prepared and dedicated this concert just for me. Each of them sang one of my solo songs, and the rest which is not sung individually were sang by the four of them. They also played a medley of songs which are used at the dramas I played at. Even the seniors and juniors from our agency who came as viewers came up on stage and perform a song or two in my sake.
During the MC, they talked like they usually did. But they each had my uchiwa on their hands and keep on telling me that they wish I can get better soon. I noticed Nino teared up, because perhaps, he felt the irony of the words for knowing that there is no way I can ever get better. They sang and danced to the song Friendship after that, all clad in greenish outfits. I almost choked on my tears as I saw the VTR of that last song we sang together were being played on the screen. The four of them returned to stage with the same outfits they wore when we sang that song, forming a line on the middle stage.
“Everyone, thank you for coming to our concert today. We are very grateful.” Sho-chan was the first to give the speech. “Today’s concert is dedicated to our dearest friend, Aiba Masaki, to celebrate his birthday and in hope that it will give him energy even just a tiny bit more to keep on fighting.” He paused for a moment. “As you have known from the news this prior month, Aiba-kun is currently fighting with an incurable disease, and is suffering each days from the disease. We could only imagine how much pain he has to endure every day, but Aiba-kun is so strong he never showed the pain to anyone else. He never want others to worry about him, thus he hide the pain deep inside him. But you know, Aiba-kun, you don’t have to pretend you’re okay when you’re around us. You don’t have to act strong. We are your family and families share burdens with each others. We want you to know that it’s okay for you to lean on us sometimes. That it’s okay for you to be weak and cry to us. That it’s okay...” Sho-chan stumbled, lips quivering as he looked down to hide the tears. “That it’s okay, for a sunshine to be down sometimes, too. Because then we can cry together, be down together, and then get up stronger together. You are not alone in this, Aiba-chan. We’re here with you.”
Sho-chan stared at the camera, hard, that it feels like he’s standing right there and looking right into me. I felt a tear sliding down my cheeks as Sho-chan’s words shot right at my heart.
“Everyone, I thank you for coming despite the snow today.” Riida’s voice is suddenly heard, telling me that the spotlight had changed now. “Aiba-chan, happy birthday ! How was it ? Do you like our present ?” Riida smiled and I nodded my head frantically at him though I know he won’t be able to see me. “At first, we weren’t sure we can do this with so little time left. But seeing how you are always able to smile despite everything, gave us the strength to finish this. After all, we want to see Aiba-chan smile because his smile is always beautiful. Aiba-chan, do you remember what you said when you first us told us about your sickness ? You told us that you’re afraid things will be different between us, and that we will start looking at you differently.” Riida paused, closing his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. “While indeed, that things won’t be the same without you here with us, but please rest assure that our view about you will never change. You will always be our bubbly, carefree, and giggly Aiba-chan. You’re still the Aiba-chan who will always do silly things to melt the tension between us. You’re still the Aiba-chan who can make us laugh just by laughing yourself. You’re still the Aiba-chan who always think positively even in the most difficult times. You’re still the Aiba-chan we know, the Aiba-chan everyone loves, the Aiba-chan that we treasured. You’re still our Aiba-chan and that will never change.”
Riida’s eyes spoke more of the words he voiced out as he looked at the camera. A wrecked sob came from my mouth as I saw Riida cried when he the spotlight around him dimmed.
“Everyone, thank you for coming here today. Thank you, we are grateful.” Nino greeted the audience and moving in circle to give his gratitudes. “Well, as you can see, everyone, Aiba-san is stupid no matter what. That’s a fact.” The crowd laughed a bit, and I pouted at Nino’s comment. “The moment this whole nation knew about Aiba-san’s current condition, was also the time we found out ourselves. We were only told the news the day before the official announcement was spread out across the country. That’s how stupid Aiba-san is. He’s scared for no reason but acting brave when he didn’t have to. But that’s the charm of Aiba-san, I believe. And that’s what makes him who he is. And I learnt to tolerate. I mean, do you really think I will be able to stick with him for so long if I don’t like it ? I would’ve kicked his ass since a long time ago if I wanted to.” Nino commented brattily and the crowd laughed again. “But I didn’t. Because I like him the way he is. I wouldn’t want it any other way. Aiba-chan, you’re the reason why I could stand here now, why I could put up with the harshness of the showbiz, why I decided that I won’t quit many years ago, why I could push myself and give it my all in everything I do. Truthfully, I couldn’t picture a future without you because no matter what path I want to take, you’re always in the picture. That’s how much you meant to my life. And to know that you won’t be there in reality, I was at lost.” Nino’s voice trailed off, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. It’s like he’s seeing something no one else can see. “Aiba-shi, there are so many stories I have yet to tell you, so many things I should thank you for or apologized to. There are so many things I want to do together with you. Do you know that I’ve learnt new magic tricks lately ? I bet you don’t know because I haven’t touched the subject in a long time. I want to do some pranks like I used to do, with, or at you. Damn, I even want to do those stupid experiment of yours ! So stay, you stupid ! Stay right where you are and don’t go to a place I can’t reach ! Didn’t you promise me that we will always be together until we’re old and spent ? Didn’t you tell me that you will play games with me forever ? Aiba-shi, didn’t you-?”
Nino’s wails were cut off as Riida came to his side and pulled him to a tight embrace. And suddenly, the only thing I want is to run to wherever they are and tell them that everything is alright and that the five of us will continue creating storms across the world. But that would only mean I will make another empty promise, so I stop the urge and gripping on the bedsheet as tight as I could instead.
The echo of Nino’s cries is still heard when MatsuJun took the spotlight and bowed his head while voicing out his gratitude towards the audience who are also crying along with them.
“This is a difficult time for us, I have to say.” MatsuJun started. “To be suddenly shoved by the knowledge that someone dear to us is suffering from something unimaginable, we were struck, hard. We are angry. At Aiba-kun for not telling us a thing until now, at the world for not being fair and did this to him, at everyone and anyone for no apparent reason, but most of all, we are angry at ourselves, for not noticing the pain Aiba-kun had to endure all this time. We are angry at ourselves, and disappointed. We claimed to the world that we’re good friends, while in fact we can’t even see the change on one of us where we should. We know that we cannot do a thing to things which is fated to happen in this world, but we couldn’t help but to blame ourselves for what had happened to Aiba-kun. We were a complete idiots. We still are.” MatsuJun bit his lips as his thumb wiped over the rim of his eyes. “This concert, is the least we could do for Aiba-chan. We know how much he desired to be able to stand here with us, performing songs on the stage as Arashi, and while we can’t grant him that wish, at the very least, we want to dedicate this concert for him instead, in hope that he will feel less sad, and to make him think that he’s standing here with us today, having the greatest day of his life.” MatsuJun put out his mic for a moment, controlling his breaths as he did so. “The VTR we showed before this, was the very last song we recorded as five. And the song we sung, probably will never be sung again. The title 5x10 can only exist if there’s five of us. Without one of us, we can never sing it again.”
MatsuJun looked like he has more to say, but he stopped himself from saying any further because he probably thought he will break down if he were to continue. So he prompted instead: “Please listen to this last song, ‘Season’.”
The melody then started to flew through and I found myself humming along to the song. As seconds passed, I feel my strength leaving me, but I smile wider. I called out softly for my mum and my dad, feeling them coming closer to me. And then I whispered:
“Mum, Dad, I’m sorry for everything you have to went through because of me. I know that you must have suffered more than I was this whole time, but you tried to be strong for me, and I can’t be grateful enough.”
“Masaki, dear, please don’t say something like that.” My mum cooed me, her eyes knowing. “You won’t-“
“Mum, please know that I will always watch over you even after I’m gone. Please remember that I love you guys from the depth of my heart, that I don’t know what to say aside from thank you to show you how much I’m grateful towards you.”
My mum is openly crying by now, and I tried to lift my hand up to wipe her tears away.
“Mum, dad, you know that it’s alright to cry. It’s alright to show the world that you’re sad. But you have to move on afterwards and stop lingering to the past. I don’t want to be the chain who kept you from taking a step forward. I won’t be able to rest peacefully knowing that you will be drowned in sorrow because of me. Please promise me you won’t.”
Both my mum and dad shook their heads. And then I felt my dad’s hand gripping mine strongly.
“You don’t worry a thing about us, son. We’re going to be alright.” Is what he told me.
“Thanks, dad.” I smiled at him. “And mum, dad, please give my messages to the four of them.”
My parents nodded, knowing without asking who the four are.
“Tell Sho-chan I’m sorry. I’m sorry I have to make him wait for so long before telling him the truth. Sho-chan knows from the beginning that I hid something from them, but he told me he will wait until I’m ready, and I’m thankful he is.” I smiled again. “And tell MatsuJun, tell MatsuJun he can stop worrying over me now. That I am alright now, and so that he should start worrying for himself instead. Because I know MatsuJun, he cares too much about other people, but sometimes neglected his own self. We can’t have our diva to collapse, can we ?” I chuckled at imagining MatsuJun’s reaction to this. “Tell Riida that he’s the awesomest riida there is. He sometimes worried that he’s not good enough as a leader, but he should give himself more credit to it because he’s more than good at what he does. He should have faith more in himself and know that he worth more than he thought he is.” I closed my eyes, before re-opening them slowly. “And tell Nino I’m sorry I broke our promise to stay together forever. Tell Nino that he shouldn’t stop giving his best even when I’m no longer here.” I feel my consciousness fading away, but I forced myself to stay awake. “Tell Nino that I will always be his number one fan. Tell Nino ‘thank you’, for putting up with me and for deciding to give Arashi a chance. Tell Nino...”
Flashes of images come and gone in my head. It’s as if a special movie of my life is being replayed in front of me. Showing me how I was born and grew up and be the man I am now. It shows the many trips I went to with my family. The many concerts I did with Arashi. That time Sho-chan patted my head with that encouraging smile of his. That time I snapped at MatsuJun and seeing him glower in fear. That time I cried together with Riida, just the two of us. That time I came to Nino’s house drenched in rain, crying out silently of the broken heart, seeking for comfort and warmth to ease me off of the pain.
“Tell Arashi...”
And I know that even if I were given a chance to relive my life all over again, I won’t ever choose a different path. I love my life and I won’t exchange it for the world.
“that they’re the best of friends I’ve ever know of...”
~End Of Chapter 8~
It's almost the climax everyone !
Somehow I'm nervous.. >,<
Please drop your thoughts about this~