Family

Mar 17, 2014 13:48

I saw my brother today. I was just out shopping and I saw him and his wife. She's pregnant. I told him I was excited, and asked if I could come visit to see my nephew and help with the new baby ( Read more... )

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shh_im_talking March 17 2014, 18:54:11 UTC
You shouldn't always listen to what idiots tell you. Especially opinionated idiots who have no idea what they're talking about. I would have punched them. I hope you did. Don't get upset. Get angry that these people think they have some say in what you do with your life. As for your 'brother', I'd be ashamed of him. No brother should speak like that. It makes me wonder if you were actually adopted and given to a bunch of assholes because you're a good guy. Seems strange for you to have come from that gene pool.

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zenzaip March 17 2014, 18:56:43 UTC
Part of me feels like they're right, though.

And I look like my mother and brother, so I don't think I'm adopted.

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shh_im_talking March 17 2014, 19:03:27 UTC
You should punch that part of yourself then because it's as much of an idiot as the people telling you that what you're doing is wrong.

That doesn't mean much. I look like people I'm not related to. But if it helps, a lot of us have had family that have hated us. I'm just lucky my parents were stupid enough to get drunk before getting behind the wheel of a car. I don't miss them. They were terrible people. I have a family now of my own choosing.

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zenzaip March 17 2014, 19:08:47 UTC
Ah...I guess I just...I miss them. Everything was good until high school, and I thought things were good with my brother...

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shh_im_talking March 17 2014, 19:16:26 UTC
Why do you miss them if they don't miss you? I'm sorry but that makes no sense. Why are you not more angry with them? I would be furious. I would tell them, in no uncertain terms, that they can go and fuck themselves and have nothing to do with them. Because why put yourself through that pain and suffering? You have people who love you and friends who love you, you have a bright future ahead of you. So why deliberately darken it with people who don't care about you?

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zenzaip March 17 2014, 19:22:01 UTC
Because they're my family. I love them...

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shh_im_talking March 17 2014, 19:25:40 UTC
Then you're an idiot too. They'll keep haunting you and keep hurting you until you realise that they're not worth your love. They might be your family but that doesn't matter at the end of the day. They've thrown you away easily enough. Why bother with them? It makes no sense.

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zenzaip March 17 2014, 19:30:01 UTC
I...I just...

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shh_im_talking March 17 2014, 19:37:32 UTC
Like being the cause of your own suffering?

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zenzaip March 17 2014, 19:39:08 UTC
NO! I just love them! Why is that so bad? Why is it so bad to be wanted by my parents?

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shh_im_talking March 17 2014, 19:43:44 UTC
It isn't a bad thing, when that love is returned.

You're not a child anymore, Zaizen-san. Your life is what you make of it. Do something about what is happening with your family or learn to get over it. Hurting and upsetting yourself over and over again doesn't help anyone. Least of all you.

But just a thought... All of this misplaced love you have for a family who doesn't give a shit about you, couldn't that energy and love be put to better use elsewhere? Say, your current family who actually love you back?

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zenzaip March 17 2014, 19:49:12 UTC
I...I know you're right. I know, but...I'm sorry, I know I must sound like a child. I didn't realize I was neglecting those with me.

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shh_im_talking March 17 2014, 19:53:20 UTC
Why are you apologising to me? If you know then stop, do something, grow up a bit and learn to tell the world where they can go when they do things to make you angry or upset. And I never said you were neglecting them, Zaizen-san. I said that you had misplaced love that could be put to better use elsewhere. You are expending too much energy on people who are not worth the time of day. If you learn to ignore the people who don't have your best interests at heart you'll find yourself able to enjoy life more, you will enjoy your lovers and your friends more. You will be a happier man. It took me a very long time to learn these lessons.

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zenzaip March 17 2014, 19:56:42 UTC
You're right...

I guess I just always hoped they would accept me again. I was so close with my mother when I was younger. I feel like I'm not good enough. And I fear if I call anyone else family, they'll throw me away, too.

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shh_im_talking March 17 2014, 20:08:34 UTC
I usually am.

There's always that hope. But no one can hold a grudge like family can. I have family I don't speak too and don't care to associate with. I have two aunts, my mothers sisters, who haven't spoken to each other in 30 years because of a falling out about a boy when they were in school. Family are the worst for that. But you have made a family for yourself, friends and lovers and even a child that love you. The fact they love you back tells you that they aren't about to throw you away. They are as invested in you as you are them. And I have no doubts they will tell you all of that themselves and you won't have to hear it from a stranger.

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zenzaip March 17 2014, 20:10:54 UTC
Yeah...thank you. They do love me...And I love them more than anything.

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