(no subject)
it's funny how, no matter what i do or how busy i am, I find myself back here, in my brain's comfort zone. So many times over the last few weeks, I have wanted to write something down, to say something profound to myself if for no one else. And it's not that there's no thoughts in my brain, I am filled with little electric thoughts all day, but as soon as I sit down to give them a voice, it all falls to blankness and I end up just leaving well enough alone.
I do know this, life has a funny way of opening your eyes to new experiences and your mind to different courses of action. We all go through life thinking that we know the outcome of things, that we can somehow control uncontrollable things, but just when we get settled into that belief.......just as we become certain in our routine, you're blown off course, swept off your feet, knocked down to your core and yet we choose to do it again and again.
People do not like unpredictable life situations and the loss of control that comes with them, yet they cannot stop their curiosity for them. They cannot stop themselves from a severe level of intrigue. We are curious by nature and destructive by nature.
We do what we do in life because inevitably, we are all drawn to chaos. It is the nature of life and has been something that I am beginning to understand more and more.
So, while this post did not outline the many details of the last couple weeks of my life (which have been up and down, good and bad, but ALWAYS busy), it serves as a statement of why I come here in the first place. Because you see, this is something secure for me, something that has always been there for me to vent to and a machine (though chaotic in it's own nature) is relatively predictable. So, no matter who's upset with me, no matter how stressful things can get, no matter how busy......I am not judged here, I am not censored here, I do not expect compliments or validation and aside from the handful of you who really DO read these, I can easily have a moment to meditate on things and write to ease the electricity of thought in my brain. life will always be chaotic and full of uncontrollable things, but I like knowing that there's one place that has remained my own little peice of stability.
I do know this, life has a funny way of opening your eyes to new experiences and your mind to different courses of action. We all go through life thinking that we know the outcome of things, that we can somehow control uncontrollable things, but just when we get settled into that belief.......just as we become certain in our routine, you're blown off course, swept off your feet, knocked down to your core and yet we choose to do it again and again.
People do not like unpredictable life situations and the loss of control that comes with them, yet they cannot stop their curiosity for them. They cannot stop themselves from a severe level of intrigue. We are curious by nature and destructive by nature.
We do what we do in life because inevitably, we are all drawn to chaos. It is the nature of life and has been something that I am beginning to understand more and more.
So, while this post did not outline the many details of the last couple weeks of my life (which have been up and down, good and bad, but ALWAYS busy), it serves as a statement of why I come here in the first place. Because you see, this is something secure for me, something that has always been there for me to vent to and a machine (though chaotic in it's own nature) is relatively predictable. So, no matter who's upset with me, no matter how stressful things can get, no matter how busy......I am not judged here, I am not censored here, I do not expect compliments or validation and aside from the handful of you who really DO read these, I can easily have a moment to meditate on things and write to ease the electricity of thought in my brain. life will always be chaotic and full of uncontrollable things, but I like knowing that there's one place that has remained my own little peice of stability.