[Voice message transcribed by Siri] I AM GOING TO DIE

[zengodchild]

I do not know how the [edited for profanity] I have the presence of mind to yank my phone out and start shouting at it, but if I'm going to either fly off into the sky ([edited for profanity]ing impossible, I know, but try pinwheeling somewhere in the [edited for profanity] atmosphere with a parasail and no tow rope; it radically alters your world

Comments

[transcribed by Siri]

[zengodchild]

I'm hallucinating. I didn't think I was high enough to go into oxygen deprivation. Okay, looking at the map--this thing isn't exactly to scale--I may be able to hit that beach.

Waitaminute. Siri, how are we even communicating? Your 4G is nonexistent.

I found this for you.



Connecting to Island Wi-fi

Re: [transcribed by Siri]

[island_hitman]

....do that.

(BWAHAHAHHAHA...I'm dying here)