Ghosts Of The Abyss: Chapter 27
ZeldaQueen: We return to the Sporking Theater, everyone! I'm sorry, but these last few chapters are just boring. Nothing happens besides Kate repeating how Calypso is a monstrous baby-killer so Gethesemane is justified in killing her. No thank you
Joining us for the first time is Midna, who shall be playing Calypso!
Midna: I hope this is worth it. I learned the accent and everything
ZeldaQueen: Shouldn't have bothered. Gethesemane didn't
THE CURTAIN RISES FOR...
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Chapter 27
Kate: Oh look, here comes Calypso with a cutlass! Even though her eyes are filled "with the familiar hellish fire of rage and pure hatred" and even though most of the readers are probably rooting for my death, I am not afraid! I draw my own cutlass!
Calypso: Ha, you really think you can win? Canon is on my side, beyotch!
Kate: Joke's on you! I killed canon and I shall do the same to you! I strike so quickly and so well that I take you by surprise and get the tip of the cutlass to your throat! Ha ha, I care not for the rest of the battle! Even though I kept pretending to take the higher moral ground, this is, after all, all I care about. "The battle raged incessantly all around us, yet I could see only my hated quarry before me. Nothing else existed around us. There was no battle raging except our own. My chance at revenge, the chance to avenge the murder of my unborn child, was in front of me. I would end this. It would end now". I stab you now!
Calypso: Well I somehow grab the blade and push it backwards without you noticing at first. This is all worded like we're doing some teamwork exercise in camp instead of trying to kill each other. Apparently I'm now a Jedi Knight, as I lift my hand and send you flying backwards
Kate: I pull fighting skills out of my ass and jump back in the fray! Ha, look at how good I am, beating a goddess in combat! Aren't I fantastic? Don't you wish you were me? I channel Ramona Flowers and kick Calypso off her feet
Calypso: It's not over yet, accursed fool! I change in a foreign language, which apparently makes me Savage and Evil. Unfortunate implications ahoy! I somehow begin to make the storm even more violent, even though canon clearly states that I can only control the ocean when in goddess form. IF YOU CAN DISREGARD CANON TO SUIT YOUR OWN NEEDS, SO CAN I!!!
Kate: Oh shit! I'm knocked overboard by a wave! I drown!
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ZeldaQueen: And there was much rejoicing, only not really because we all know that Gethesemane would never let her pet Sue die. Anyway, this is when we run into the other Sue of this fanfic series, so let's troop back to the Sporking Chamber for a look
When I awoke, I found that I was lying on the surface of a glassy sea. Above me, numerous stars danced and twinkled in a black sky, while the surface on which I was lying reflected the sky like a mirror. Everything around me was tranquil and serene.
ZeldaQueen: Huh, now why does that sound familiar? Ten bucks says that Gethesemane has seen Contact
I looked about, confused. Where was the battle? Where were the ships, the armada? Where had everybody gone?
ZeldaQueen: Now I'm getting vibes of AI
Where had I gone?
ZeldaQhee: Hell
"Katherine."
The voice startled me, and I jumped to my feet, looking about the darkened, starlit silence. It was slightly colder here than in the Caribbean; I could not have gone anywhere else...could I?
ZeldaQueen: *dodges the Dead Herring*
I turned round to find a familiar woman with waist-length blonde hair emerging from the darkness. She was clothed in a lovely white flowing gown, her skin radiant. She looked at me with piercing ocean-blue eyes. I recognized this woman almost immediately.
ZeldaQueen: Marilyn Monroe!
"Sirena?"
She smiled and nodded. "Yes."
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because Kate wasn't a big enough Sue we had to bring her in. Fantastic! *rolls eyes*
I looked about me once more, and then at her.
"Where am I?" I asked. "Am I...dead?"
She shook her head. "Not yet."
ZeldaQueen: OH GOD DAMN IT, stop taunting me with hope, Gethesemane!
"What? What do you mean, 'not yet?'"
"It is not your time to die. Not yet.
ZeldaQueen: Oh yes, this cliche. This hasn't been done to dea
But you are no longer in the Caribbean, Katherine. You are no longer in your own world. You are in mine; you are in the realm of death."
ZeldaQueen: And that has what to do with what they were just talking about?
She motioned towards the sky in which the stars twinkled.
"Those stars are the souls of the dead who have moved on," she continued. "What you are seeing are the Ghosts of the Abyss."
ZeldaQueen: (Gethesemane): "Dur, title drop!"
Which is stupid. Why are they called the Ghosts of the Abyss if they are in the freaking sky?
I looked at her. "But you're not a star."
ZeldaQueen: Of course not. She's not Marilyn Monroe!
"Because I have not moved on," she answered. "My life was stolen from me before I could truly live it. You know this from my husband."
ZeldaQueen: Oh for the love of -
What I love is how she conveniently is the only one here. Is she the only one recently who died without being able to move on?
I nodded slowly. "Yes."
She walked forward, and gently placed her hand on my shoulder.
"It is not your time to die. You are to return to the Land of the Living. You are not part of Death's design."
ZeldaQueen: Bluh, HOW? I'm serious! What makes Kate so special that she can go back to life! Why couldn't Sirena have gone back if she died before it was her time or whatever?
"What...?"
She placed her hand atop my head, and slowly pushed me to the glassy surface. I tried to protest as I realized what she was going to do, yet my struggles were in vain, for I was soon fully submerged in icy blackness. The water came rushing over my body in one large, icy wall, until I could no longer feel my own body and was chilled to my very soul.
ZeldaQueen: And this rips off The Frighteners (start at 2:39). Is Gethesemane incapable of writing a near-death scene without totally stealing from elsewhere?
"Kate? Kate, wake up!"
ZeldaQueen: Time to plaaaaaaaay! *waves knife and grins*
I stirred, opening my eyes. My eyes took a moment to adjust as I slowly returned to my own body. I felt as if I were choking; I was not getting air.
ZeldaQueen: Um yeah, you tend to not get air when you choke
Water begun to sputter from my mouth as I coughed heavily, my chest heaving with each racking cough until there was a small puddle of water next to my head.
ZeldaQueen: Given that you're on a boat in the middle of the ocean during a storm, I'd imagine that there'd be puddles of water everywhere
Above me, the familiar deep, chocolate eyes
ZeldaQueen: Oh, of course!
of my husband were staring into mine, his eyes worried and frantic.
"Jack...?"
"Oh, thank God," he breathed as he took me into his arms. "I thought I'd lost you."
ZeldaQueen: I love how he can take time out of a very hectic battle to moon over her.
Actually, how did she get on the ship again? She fell in the ocean!
"Lost me?"
"You were thrown overboard by a rogue wave," said Mr. Gibbs, who stood behind Jack. "The captain here dived in and saved you just before you were sucked into the maelstrom."
ZeldaQueen: Oh, that's how.
Gethesemane, did you see the maelstrom in the movie? Even in the unlikely event that Jack would her go overboard in the first place, there's no way he would have gotten to her before she drowned. And even if he did, he even more certainly would have drowned himself before he could have gotten her back to the ship
I looked at my husband. Sure enough, he was soaked from head to toe, his chest heaving.
ZeldaQueen: Because it's not like there's a storm going on or anything!
I looked around.
ZeldaQueen: Stop, hey, what's that sound?
"Where's Calypso?"
"Lost sight of her," replied Jack.
ZeldaQueen: He seems rather blase about the fact that a psycho goddess is on the loose. And where would she go?
I jumped to my feet. "I have to find her. She must die today or else she will escape punishment as she has for the last century!"
ZeldaQueen: Go right ahead. We all know Gethesemane's getting off on the idea of punishing her for being Davy Jones' sweetie in the movie
Despite Jack's protest, I ran into the pandemonium of the melee with only one intention: to kill the murdering beast.
ZeldaQueen: Dear lord, shut up!
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Onward to: Chapter 28
Back to: Chapter 26
Return to: Table of Contents
Joining us for the first time is Midna, who shall be playing Calypso!
Midna: I hope this is worth it. I learned the accent and everything
ZeldaQueen: Shouldn't have bothered. Gethesemane didn't
THE CURTAIN RISES FOR...
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Chapter 27
Kate: Oh look, here comes Calypso with a cutlass! Even though her eyes are filled "with the familiar hellish fire of rage and pure hatred" and even though most of the readers are probably rooting for my death, I am not afraid! I draw my own cutlass!
Calypso: Ha, you really think you can win? Canon is on my side, beyotch!
Kate: Joke's on you! I killed canon and I shall do the same to you! I strike so quickly and so well that I take you by surprise and get the tip of the cutlass to your throat! Ha ha, I care not for the rest of the battle! Even though I kept pretending to take the higher moral ground, this is, after all, all I care about. "The battle raged incessantly all around us, yet I could see only my hated quarry before me. Nothing else existed around us. There was no battle raging except our own. My chance at revenge, the chance to avenge the murder of my unborn child, was in front of me. I would end this. It would end now". I stab you now!
Calypso: Well I somehow grab the blade and push it backwards without you noticing at first. This is all worded like we're doing some teamwork exercise in camp instead of trying to kill each other. Apparently I'm now a Jedi Knight, as I lift my hand and send you flying backwards
Kate: I pull fighting skills out of my ass and jump back in the fray! Ha, look at how good I am, beating a goddess in combat! Aren't I fantastic? Don't you wish you were me? I channel Ramona Flowers and kick Calypso off her feet
Calypso: It's not over yet, accursed fool! I change in a foreign language, which apparently makes me Savage and Evil. Unfortunate implications ahoy! I somehow begin to make the storm even more violent, even though canon clearly states that I can only control the ocean when in goddess form. IF YOU CAN DISREGARD CANON TO SUIT YOUR OWN NEEDS, SO CAN I!!!
Kate: Oh shit! I'm knocked overboard by a wave! I drown!
---------------------------------
ZeldaQueen: And there was much rejoicing, only not really because we all know that Gethesemane would never let her pet Sue die. Anyway, this is when we run into the other Sue of this fanfic series, so let's troop back to the Sporking Chamber for a look
When I awoke, I found that I was lying on the surface of a glassy sea. Above me, numerous stars danced and twinkled in a black sky, while the surface on which I was lying reflected the sky like a mirror. Everything around me was tranquil and serene.
ZeldaQueen: Huh, now why does that sound familiar? Ten bucks says that Gethesemane has seen Contact
I looked about, confused. Where was the battle? Where were the ships, the armada? Where had everybody gone?
ZeldaQueen: Now I'm getting vibes of AI
Where had I gone?
ZeldaQhee: Hell
"Katherine."
The voice startled me, and I jumped to my feet, looking about the darkened, starlit silence. It was slightly colder here than in the Caribbean; I could not have gone anywhere else...could I?
ZeldaQueen: *dodges the Dead Herring*
I turned round to find a familiar woman with waist-length blonde hair emerging from the darkness. She was clothed in a lovely white flowing gown, her skin radiant. She looked at me with piercing ocean-blue eyes. I recognized this woman almost immediately.
ZeldaQueen: Marilyn Monroe!
"Sirena?"
She smiled and nodded. "Yes."
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because Kate wasn't a big enough Sue we had to bring her in. Fantastic! *rolls eyes*
I looked about me once more, and then at her.
"Where am I?" I asked. "Am I...dead?"
She shook her head. "Not yet."
ZeldaQueen: OH GOD DAMN IT, stop taunting me with hope, Gethesemane!
"What? What do you mean, 'not yet?'"
"It is not your time to die. Not yet.
ZeldaQueen: Oh yes, this cliche. This hasn't been done to dea
But you are no longer in the Caribbean, Katherine. You are no longer in your own world. You are in mine; you are in the realm of death."
ZeldaQueen: And that has what to do with what they were just talking about?
She motioned towards the sky in which the stars twinkled.
"Those stars are the souls of the dead who have moved on," she continued. "What you are seeing are the Ghosts of the Abyss."
ZeldaQueen: (Gethesemane): "Dur, title drop!"
Which is stupid. Why are they called the Ghosts of the Abyss if they are in the freaking sky?
I looked at her. "But you're not a star."
ZeldaQueen: Of course not. She's not Marilyn Monroe!
"Because I have not moved on," she answered. "My life was stolen from me before I could truly live it. You know this from my husband."
ZeldaQueen: Oh for the love of -
What I love is how she conveniently is the only one here. Is she the only one recently who died without being able to move on?
I nodded slowly. "Yes."
She walked forward, and gently placed her hand on my shoulder.
"It is not your time to die. You are to return to the Land of the Living. You are not part of Death's design."
ZeldaQueen: Bluh, HOW? I'm serious! What makes Kate so special that she can go back to life! Why couldn't Sirena have gone back if she died before it was her time or whatever?
"What...?"
She placed her hand atop my head, and slowly pushed me to the glassy surface. I tried to protest as I realized what she was going to do, yet my struggles were in vain, for I was soon fully submerged in icy blackness. The water came rushing over my body in one large, icy wall, until I could no longer feel my own body and was chilled to my very soul.
ZeldaQueen: And this rips off The Frighteners (start at 2:39). Is Gethesemane incapable of writing a near-death scene without totally stealing from elsewhere?
"Kate? Kate, wake up!"
ZeldaQueen: Time to plaaaaaaaay! *waves knife and grins*
I stirred, opening my eyes. My eyes took a moment to adjust as I slowly returned to my own body. I felt as if I were choking; I was not getting air.
ZeldaQueen: Um yeah, you tend to not get air when you choke
Water begun to sputter from my mouth as I coughed heavily, my chest heaving with each racking cough until there was a small puddle of water next to my head.
ZeldaQueen: Given that you're on a boat in the middle of the ocean during a storm, I'd imagine that there'd be puddles of water everywhere
Above me, the familiar deep, chocolate eyes
ZeldaQueen: Oh, of course!
of my husband were staring into mine, his eyes worried and frantic.
"Jack...?"
"Oh, thank God," he breathed as he took me into his arms. "I thought I'd lost you."
ZeldaQueen: I love how he can take time out of a very hectic battle to moon over her.
Actually, how did she get on the ship again? She fell in the ocean!
"Lost me?"
"You were thrown overboard by a rogue wave," said Mr. Gibbs, who stood behind Jack. "The captain here dived in and saved you just before you were sucked into the maelstrom."
ZeldaQueen: Oh, that's how.
Gethesemane, did you see the maelstrom in the movie? Even in the unlikely event that Jack would her go overboard in the first place, there's no way he would have gotten to her before she drowned. And even if he did, he even more certainly would have drowned himself before he could have gotten her back to the ship
I looked at my husband. Sure enough, he was soaked from head to toe, his chest heaving.
ZeldaQueen: Because it's not like there's a storm going on or anything!
I looked around.
ZeldaQueen: Stop, hey, what's that sound?
"Where's Calypso?"
"Lost sight of her," replied Jack.
ZeldaQueen: He seems rather blase about the fact that a psycho goddess is on the loose. And where would she go?
I jumped to my feet. "I have to find her. She must die today or else she will escape punishment as she has for the last century!"
ZeldaQueen: Go right ahead. We all know Gethesemane's getting off on the idea of punishing her for being Davy Jones' sweetie in the movie
Despite Jack's protest, I ran into the pandemonium of the melee with only one intention: to kill the murdering beast.
ZeldaQueen: Dear lord, shut up!
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Onward to: Chapter 28
Back to: Chapter 26
Return to: Table of Contents