Breaking Dawn: Chapter 9 - Sure As Hell Didn't See That One Coming

[zelda_queen]

Projection Room Voices: Beginning Chapter 9 of Breaking Dawn!

ZeldaQueen: Get in here, you!

Comments

[mibamonster]

'Midna: I want to finish sometime today. Billy and Jacob have a bit of conversation which leads them to talking about Rachael being home for the summer despite the Black household being painful because she and her sister Rebbecca were older and can better remember their mother dying in a car crash.'
First time in the entire sodding Saga that this is mentioned. We know Billy's in a wheelchair, we know Jacob's mum is dead - and this is the first. Fucking. Time. Smeyer bothers to tell us why. Just because Bella knows doesn't mean we do as well.

'Midna: *peers at the screen* And he takes time to worry about getting broken bones while driving because those would take days to heal and thus slow him down for revenge. Lovely.'
This doesn't make sense. When Jacob and Paul have a fight in New Moon, Paul gets hurt; the wound looks like its weeks old after only a couple of minutes. Broken bones shouldn't take more than 30 minutes. Smeyer, I know writers can't do math, but IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE MAGIC LIKE THIS, YOU'D BETTER MAKE SURE IT WORKS, YOU LAZY FUCK!

'ZeldaQueen: Carlisle answers the door and Jacob is a bit disarmed by this and remembers how the vampire doctor made a house call to him "last spring when [he] got busted up" and something about that bothers me besides the fact that we once more only get any backstory about the characters when the plot demands it. Link, flip through the series notes. Tell me what was going on in the "last spring".'
I have to admit; this is about the end of Eclipse (which might count as summer, though). Jacob got hurt after he - completely unnecessarily, I might add - 'saved' Leah.

'The Cullens were around for a few good decades there, shouldn't that have triggered it?'
No. They moved away again after a couple of years, because otherwise people notice they don't age.

'Was there ever a time when Bella indicated that she disliked Rosalie? '
No. Bella didn't talk about the Cullens in New Moon, because it hurt too much. In Eclipse... Everything was messed-up in Eclipse, but I doubt she mentioned Rosalie.

'"'Just back up a second. She won't let you.' The sarcasm was acid on my tongue. 'Did you ever notice that she's exactly as strong as a normal hundred-and-ten-pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Hold her down and knock her out with drugs.''
GAHHH WHY ARE YOU SO SCARY?!
'"'I don't care about anything but keeping her alive,” he said, suddenly focused now. “If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants.” He paused for one beat. “She can have puppies, if that's what it takes.'"'
HOW CAN MEYER ALWAYS MAKE IT WORSE?!

'And thinks how great the sight of Bella pregnant with his child would be.'
Meyer. Jacob. Is. Sixteen. I was sixteen a year ago, and I know a lot of sixteen year old boys. NONE of them think, 'Man, it would be awesome if my girlfriend had my child.' They think, 'That's something I'll worry about when I'm older. Thank God for condoms and the pill.' THEY DON'T WANT CHILDREN YET! NO! NO NO NO NO NO!