Heart Of The Sea: Chapter 18 - A Woman's Touch
ZeldaQueen: I must warn you all, I got very angry during this chapter
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 18: A Woman's Touch
Kate’s Point of View
The touch of his lips on mine had felt strangely familiar, as if it weren’t the first time we had shared a kiss. Yet it felt…alien.
ZeldaQueen: I love how she's supposed to be some tough pirate, yet one "shut up" kiss makes her go all aquiver
I growled darkly under my breath as I headed towards the portside of the stern.
ZeldaQueen: (Gethesemane) "LOOK, I KNOW SHIP TERMS!!!"
The game had ended and Will had bargained an eternity of servitude against Jones’s key. Of course, Will had lost the game, but apparently it wasn’t about winning or losing.
ZeldaQuen: OH MY EVER-LOVING GOD, YOU DID NOT!!!
Yes folks, take a look at that. She skipped the game. She completely skipped Will being clever and Bootstrap pitching in selling himself to an eternity of servitude on board the ship, just to save his son from that very fate. In fact, Will didn't lose. That was the only reason he was able to leave! Davy Jones technically had no claim on him! But no, it has to do with developing the characters of That Wuss Will and That Traitor Bootstrap, so Gethesemane has no time for it.
Actually...hold on a minute. When did this happen? Jones had to have been in involved because Will challenged him, and yet Jones was just there, tonguing the Sue! Did she spend twenty minutes brooding over that kiss or something? How inattentive is she, that she missed the entire game?
“The key,” said Bootstrap, looking at his son with an unmasked hint of admiration. “You just wanted to know where it was.”
I turned to Will. “Let me get the key from Jones.”
ZeldaQueen: Bluh, whut?
Will cocked an eyebrow. “Why?”
ZeldaQueen: That's a very good question. Why? Will got it back just fine in canon
I smirked and replied, “This sort of delicate situation needs a woman’s touch.”
ZeldaQueen: Which we'll see in a second.
So yeah, the translation is that she gets to do it to steal Will's thunder and throw in a soppy scene between herself and Jones. It's basically a variant of the contest scene with Pierelli in Salvation
Oh, and also - *slaps for using "smirked"* Holly Potter got me far too sensitive to that. *tips hat*
A few moments later, I found myself standing before the door of the captain’s stateroom. The entire façade was melded from parts of wrecked ships, figureheads, and the like. It was rather ominous, but I suppose it matched the beast inside.
ZeldaQueen: *rolls eyes* You know, for all she goes on about how monstrous Jones is, we get very little sign of that. He seems perfectly fine with letting her wander around on the ship, kissing her, and wangsting about how she looks like his Dearly Deceased Love
I knocked on the door, which opened a moment later. I stepped inside the dimly lit cabin, and shut the door behind me. Jones stood in a darkened corner, smoking his pipe, deep in thought. Upon sensing my presence, he looked up at me.
“Come to slap me?” he asked.
ZeldaQueen: Worse. She came to get giggity
I shook my head. “I came to return the favor.”
ZeldaQueen: Yep, who called it?
I crossed the room to him, and, without giving myself a chance to think twice, kissed him. This took him by surprise, but he slowly wrapped his arms around me. Slowly and seductively, I ran my hand along his chest until it came to rest just beneath his beard of tentacles. The warm metal of the key brushed my hand, and I saw an opportunity to deepen the kiss. Ever so gently, I pulled the key from the tentacle, still careful to conceal my true intentions. When I had last gotten the key free, I deepened the kiss slightly further before drawing away from him.
“That’s payback for earlier,” I said softly before turning and walking calmly out of the room.
ZeldaQueen: Right. I left that big block o' text there unsporked so you could admire it in all its idiotic glory. Go on, admire it.
Done? Alright, let's have a bit of a list here
First of all, I was right. There was no reason Will couldn't have done what he did in canon and stole the key while Jones slept. The Suethor only changed this to have a reason for another kiss between her stupid insert and Jones. Oh, and to steal Will's thunder of course. Lord forbid he do anything of any use in this fic
Second of all how does that work? So she somehow reaches into his beard and finds the key and yoinks it out without him noticing. Okaaaay, so how doesn't he notice her pulling it out? The tentacles were like fingers. They had feeling. In canon, he was asleep and will replaced the keys with something else, so he had the feeling of something else resting in there. It also gave Will time to escape because Jones didn't realize the theft until he woke up. As it is here, we're supposed to believe that the Sue stole the keys and then Jones went about his business for the rest of the day, not realizing that he no longer was holding what was literally the key to his heart until the Sue had conveniently escaped.
Third of all, it really doesn't make your "tough" female character look liberated when all she does to accomplish anything is ram her tongue down the throat of the guy who essentially has ownership of her
“How did you get it?” Will asked as I showed him the key moments later.
ZeldaQueen: She gave him a G-rated fuck. I kid you not
“Oh, just a little persuasion,” I answered as I placed the key around my neck.
ZeldaQueen: Bitch, you are not copying from Elizabeth
I turned to Bootstrap. “There has to be a way to get off this ship.”
ZeldaQueen: Full sentence there being "there has to be a way to get me off of this ship", seeing as Will has all but been forgotten again
He thought for a moment, and then nodded. “Wait until midnight. Jones will be asleep by then.”
ZeldaQueen: Why couldn't you have just waited until midnight to steal the key, like in the movie?
When midnight came, I draped a black cloak about my shoulders
ZeldaQueen: YET AGAIN!
as Bootstrap prepared Will to escape. Bootstrap handed his son a dagger, and the two spoke briefly before Will turned to me.
ZeldaQueen: Yep, no time for that silly parent-child bonding stuff. The Sue needs to reunite with Her Man!
“Let’s go, Kate,” he said. “Your husband’s waiting.”
ZeldaQueen: SEE WHAT I MEAN?
As Will carefully slipped into one of the waiting long boats, I turned to Bootstrap.
“Look, I know that I’ve not been all that nice to you, but I really owe you for this.”
ZeldaQueen: I hate her, I really do
He waved his hand. “Save Jack. Save yourself, and put in a good word for me to your children.”
ZeldaQueen: Yes, her children. Her children with Jack. Bootstrap's own children and theoretical grandchildren can just all go to Hell
I smiled, and embraced him. “Thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome. Now hurry!”
I slipped into the long boat with Will, and together we rowed out into the dark waves of the Caribbean night.
ZeldaQueen: And then the Kraken ate her. The end
(Author’s Note: I just posted a new story called Origin. It chronicles Davy and Sirena’s relationship, and sheds a little light on him.)
ZeldaQueen: Oh yeah, chronicles their relationship in exactly the same way all of her other Sues hooked up with their love interests
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Onward to: Chapter 19: A New Heading
Back to: Chapter 17: Davy Jones
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 18: A Woman's Touch
Kate’s Point of View
The touch of his lips on mine had felt strangely familiar, as if it weren’t the first time we had shared a kiss. Yet it felt…alien.
ZeldaQueen: I love how she's supposed to be some tough pirate, yet one "shut up" kiss makes her go all aquiver
I growled darkly under my breath as I headed towards the portside of the stern.
ZeldaQueen: (Gethesemane) "LOOK, I KNOW SHIP TERMS!!!"
The game had ended and Will had bargained an eternity of servitude against Jones’s key. Of course, Will had lost the game, but apparently it wasn’t about winning or losing.
ZeldaQuen: OH MY EVER-LOVING GOD, YOU DID NOT!!!
Yes folks, take a look at that. She skipped the game. She completely skipped Will being clever and Bootstrap pitching in selling himself to an eternity of servitude on board the ship, just to save his son from that very fate. In fact, Will didn't lose. That was the only reason he was able to leave! Davy Jones technically had no claim on him! But no, it has to do with developing the characters of That Wuss Will and That Traitor Bootstrap, so Gethesemane has no time for it.
Actually...hold on a minute. When did this happen? Jones had to have been in involved because Will challenged him, and yet Jones was just there, tonguing the Sue! Did she spend twenty minutes brooding over that kiss or something? How inattentive is she, that she missed the entire game?
“The key,” said Bootstrap, looking at his son with an unmasked hint of admiration. “You just wanted to know where it was.”
I turned to Will. “Let me get the key from Jones.”
ZeldaQueen: Bluh, whut?
Will cocked an eyebrow. “Why?”
ZeldaQueen: That's a very good question. Why? Will got it back just fine in canon
I smirked and replied, “This sort of delicate situation needs a woman’s touch.”
ZeldaQueen: Which we'll see in a second.
So yeah, the translation is that she gets to do it to steal Will's thunder and throw in a soppy scene between herself and Jones. It's basically a variant of the contest scene with Pierelli in Salvation
Oh, and also - *slaps for using "smirked"* Holly Potter got me far too sensitive to that. *tips hat*
A few moments later, I found myself standing before the door of the captain’s stateroom. The entire façade was melded from parts of wrecked ships, figureheads, and the like. It was rather ominous, but I suppose it matched the beast inside.
ZeldaQueen: *rolls eyes* You know, for all she goes on about how monstrous Jones is, we get very little sign of that. He seems perfectly fine with letting her wander around on the ship, kissing her, and wangsting about how she looks like his Dearly Deceased Love
I knocked on the door, which opened a moment later. I stepped inside the dimly lit cabin, and shut the door behind me. Jones stood in a darkened corner, smoking his pipe, deep in thought. Upon sensing my presence, he looked up at me.
“Come to slap me?” he asked.
ZeldaQueen: Worse. She came to get giggity
I shook my head. “I came to return the favor.”
ZeldaQueen: Yep, who called it?
I crossed the room to him, and, without giving myself a chance to think twice, kissed him. This took him by surprise, but he slowly wrapped his arms around me. Slowly and seductively, I ran my hand along his chest until it came to rest just beneath his beard of tentacles. The warm metal of the key brushed my hand, and I saw an opportunity to deepen the kiss. Ever so gently, I pulled the key from the tentacle, still careful to conceal my true intentions. When I had last gotten the key free, I deepened the kiss slightly further before drawing away from him.
“That’s payback for earlier,” I said softly before turning and walking calmly out of the room.
ZeldaQueen: Right. I left that big block o' text there unsporked so you could admire it in all its idiotic glory. Go on, admire it.
Done? Alright, let's have a bit of a list here
First of all, I was right. There was no reason Will couldn't have done what he did in canon and stole the key while Jones slept. The Suethor only changed this to have a reason for another kiss between her stupid insert and Jones. Oh, and to steal Will's thunder of course. Lord forbid he do anything of any use in this fic
Second of all how does that work? So she somehow reaches into his beard and finds the key and yoinks it out without him noticing. Okaaaay, so how doesn't he notice her pulling it out? The tentacles were like fingers. They had feeling. In canon, he was asleep and will replaced the keys with something else, so he had the feeling of something else resting in there. It also gave Will time to escape because Jones didn't realize the theft until he woke up. As it is here, we're supposed to believe that the Sue stole the keys and then Jones went about his business for the rest of the day, not realizing that he no longer was holding what was literally the key to his heart until the Sue had conveniently escaped.
Third of all, it really doesn't make your "tough" female character look liberated when all she does to accomplish anything is ram her tongue down the throat of the guy who essentially has ownership of her
“How did you get it?” Will asked as I showed him the key moments later.
ZeldaQueen: She gave him a G-rated fuck. I kid you not
“Oh, just a little persuasion,” I answered as I placed the key around my neck.
ZeldaQueen: Bitch, you are not copying from Elizabeth
I turned to Bootstrap. “There has to be a way to get off this ship.”
ZeldaQueen: Full sentence there being "there has to be a way to get me off of this ship", seeing as Will has all but been forgotten again
He thought for a moment, and then nodded. “Wait until midnight. Jones will be asleep by then.”
ZeldaQueen: Why couldn't you have just waited until midnight to steal the key, like in the movie?
When midnight came, I draped a black cloak about my shoulders
ZeldaQueen: YET AGAIN!
as Bootstrap prepared Will to escape. Bootstrap handed his son a dagger, and the two spoke briefly before Will turned to me.
ZeldaQueen: Yep, no time for that silly parent-child bonding stuff. The Sue needs to reunite with Her Man!
“Let’s go, Kate,” he said. “Your husband’s waiting.”
ZeldaQueen: SEE WHAT I MEAN?
As Will carefully slipped into one of the waiting long boats, I turned to Bootstrap.
“Look, I know that I’ve not been all that nice to you, but I really owe you for this.”
ZeldaQueen: I hate her, I really do
He waved his hand. “Save Jack. Save yourself, and put in a good word for me to your children.”
ZeldaQueen: Yes, her children. Her children with Jack. Bootstrap's own children and theoretical grandchildren can just all go to Hell
I smiled, and embraced him. “Thank you for everything.”
“You’re welcome. Now hurry!”
I slipped into the long boat with Will, and together we rowed out into the dark waves of the Caribbean night.
ZeldaQueen: And then the Kraken ate her. The end
(Author’s Note: I just posted a new story called Origin. It chronicles Davy and Sirena’s relationship, and sheds a little light on him.)
ZeldaQueen: Oh yeah, chronicles their relationship in exactly the same way all of her other Sues hooked up with their love interests
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter 19: A New Heading
Back to: Chapter 17: Davy Jones
Return to: Table of Contents