Child Of Grace: Chapter 35 - C'est La Vie
ZeldaQueen: Okay folks, sorry for the delay
Projection Room Voices: You need to stop slacking
ZeldaQueen: Shut up and get things started
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 35: C'est La Vie
ZeldaQueen: Viewers, I really am sorry for the delays in this thing. I really am. But this abomination is so fucking boring! I mean horrendously boring! I found The Legend of Rah and the Muggles more entertaining to spork than this! I mean, there's the constantly reminds of how Slytherins can do no wrong, the Weasley bashing, and the arrogance, but then there's chapters where nothing happens. Where we get faux conflict to pad things out and this is quickly resolved and adds fuck all to the overarching plot. Chapters like this piece of shit.
So I'm going to do my best here. And again, I'm really sorry. I'm trying to make this funny and trying to do what I can with what I have, where I am. I really hope it works out.
If you recall in the last chapter, there was a cliffhanger in which Holly was grabbed by someone. This chapter reveals that it was Blaise, who just wants to talk. What, did you think there might actually be some plot, maybe a deviance from canon enough for Pettigrew to try to kidnap Holly, something resembling a climax? MY GOD SUETHOR, ARIANA BLACK HAD MORE CONFLICT THAN THIS!!!
*sigh* So Holly bitches at him for scaring her and he insists that he just wants to talk. We're treated to a description of how tired and thin he is, because not being in the Sue's good graces is just eating away at his life like that. Holly WAAAAAAAAANGSTS about how she deserves to hear him out (GOD!) and Blaise starts to WAAAAAAAANGST to Holly about how he had no friends before her and how he remembered his stepfather before Dante and how he loved him and misses him and GOD WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP???
*pants*
Sorry about that. So the upshot is that Blaise is wangsting because he knows that his family will die and leave him eventually and he is upset that Holly will leave him over this bonded thing. She is shocked shocked to discover gambling in this establishment that he would think such a thing and tells him so. They get all sappy, which is still creepy as hell because they're acting like they're dating and then there's a scene break. Thank God.
The suethor goes back into full-on summarizing mode, telling us how Sirius is tutoring the Sue and her friends, and how his lessons are so much more interesting than regular ones. Holly also gets a letter from Blaise's mother, inviting her to attend her child's birthing. That's...nice. Why's this important to the plot? Have these people forgotten about Pettigrew, all of a sudden?
We're told how Slytherin is going to win the Quiddich Cup if they beat Gryffindor in the next match because Slytherin can do no wrong and we then jump to Holly's Potion classes, where she bitches about how she still can't read Snape's mind. She also bitches about how the Prefects are still being nice and trying to look out for her. Yeah.
Malfoy starts teaching Holly to block spells with her Mind Magic (I hate that plot device) and she wonders if he gets perverse pleasure from throwing spells at her. Why? He's never shown wanting to attack her before. Granted, I wouldn't blame him, but still!!!
We then jump to Valentine's Day, and are told how relieved Holly is that there aren't any singing cherubs to embarrass her, this year. Why should she be embarrassed? Ginny was the one who was mocked, not her. Anyway, she gets an anonymous valentine and she gets all mushy and giggly over it. We're not told anything about this valentine though, so it's really hard to care or understand her enthusiasm. In fact...we jump ahead to March and don't find out a damned thing about the valentine. Hello? What was the point of that? To show that Holly was popular? We already knew that!!!
Going into March, we're told that, for no reason given, the first years are terrified that Sirius will try to break into the castle again. There's no rumors that he's around or anything, so it's really pointless. I, personally, am really irritated, because these mentions of panic over Sirius just come across as more smugness. Like the suethor is waving in our faces "Ha ha, my favorite characters know what's going on and the losers don't!" It reminds me of Bella laughing when Mike is worried about her relationship with Edward and says "He looks at you like you're something to eat". Also, Holly is more concerned with the prefects going back to full-on monitoring of her. Because she's a bitch who needs that much attention. And we get even more of her bitchiness a paragraph later.
"Buckbeak's trial swiftly approached, scheduled for the middle of April. Hagrid was beside himself with worry, his mind not on his classes at all. His students even spent one forgettable lesson doing nothing but tending to Fang. In all honesty, their books themselves were more interesting than anything else. That was even considering the fact that the things still insisted on biting and tearing into their owners."
ZeldaQueen: You know, suethor, the trial of Buckbeak decides on whether or not the poor thing is killed or not. Hagrid loves Buckbeak. And yet, you bash him for being worried about him dying or not. Holly is not sympathetic here in the slightest, nor is she really ever convincingly sorry. But that's alright, because the suethor raped canon so that Buckbeak really was at fault, so Malfoy could hate on him without being a jerk.
GAH!
Hermione, being infinitely more responsible and caring than Holly, is mentioned as spending her spare time researching things for Buckbeak's defense. This doesn't really paint that good a picture of Holly, suethor. After all, Hermione is taking all of the same classes Holly is, isn't abusing her Time Turner, and is devoting what little free time she has to saving an innocent creature. Holly is raping the laws of time and space to get plenty of free time, and yet we see her doing nothing of significance. And no, I won't accept "finding Pettigrew" as an answer, BECAUSE SHE NEVER MADE ANY SERIOUS EFFORT TO CAPTURE HIM, DAMMITT!!!
Ron, meanwhile, is bashed as the suethor takes care to mention that "[t]he redhead himself was caught between mourning the apparent loss of his beloved rat and plotting revenge against Crookshanks". *tiredly* Yes, suethor, his pet was a hidden Death Eater. He didn't know that! He's showing a perfectly normal response to one's pet seemingly dying and you're acting like he's being stupid because of something he doesn't know. I hate you!
And Neville?
"Neville stayed out of it for the most part, wisely keeping his mouth shut on the matter. He sat with Fred and George at mealtimes and other students during lessons. He had even started sharing a table with Holly and her friends in Divination, but she honestly didn't mind by this point. He had already apologised more than enough. Besides, he was rather enjoyable to be around most of the time, and he willingly distracted Trelawney whenever she started in on her death predictions. In recompense, the Slytherins even let him sit with them in Ancient Runes so that he wouldn't have to be near Hermione."
ZeldaQueen: List time!
First of all, what is up with this suethor's weird infatuation with Neville? She keeps treating him like he's the only one of the main Gryffindors who meshes with her weird Slytherin ideals. Is she ignoring the fact that he hates Malfoy and Death Eaters in general? Did she somehow forget that he was knocked out cold in the first book when he helped Ron fight Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy?
Second of all, yep, that right there pretty much sums up how a character is "right" and "wrong" in this fic. Neville apologized "more than enough" to Holly. He is entertaining enough and he makes life easier for her so she isn't pestered by Trelawney. Thus, he is considered "good" and allowed to bask in Holly's sacred presence. How nice. I guess we shouldn't be surprised though. It's no different than how Bella or Rose Potter see their friends, which makes sense since they're all Mary Sue fics of the worst order.
Finally, why does the suethor think we'll hate Hermione or find her annoying? She's done absolutely nothing to warrant this reputation, this idea that no one would want to even sit by her. We don't see it to Holly and we certainly don't see it to Neville. In fact, all I've seen is Hermione being far more gracious, kind, and studious than Holly is.
*sighs* So we then move on to Pettigrew. Remember him? He was supposed to be our main source of conflict, except that Our Heroes sat on their hands and let him get away? Well, they can't see him on the Maurader's Map anymore, which they take to mean that he's off school grounds. In other words, there is a man who has committed murder, was the reason Holly's parents died (which, by extension, means that he's the reason she lived with the Dursleys for all of those years), and was the reason that Sirius was in Azkaban running around in the world, with no one having any idea where he is or where he's headed. He can turn into a rat. As we see in the books, he does what he has to to survive. Like I said before, the last time he did that, it involved blowing up a street full of people. What do these people do about this situation?
Fuck-all nothing.
Do you really think I'm joking here?
Oh, and it gets better. Sirius here? Sirius Black, the guy who spent thirteen years in jail, plotting his revenge on Pettigrew, the guy who only broke out because he finally knew were Pettigrew was, the guy who loved his friends more than anything in the world and was furious that that trust was betrayed? Want to know how he reacts to losing, perhaps forever, his chance at protecting Holly from future harm and avenging his best friend?
"The Animagus was disheartened, to say the least, but he was holding up surprisingly well. Holly thought that perhaps he was somewhat relieved Pettigrew was gone since she and her friends were now safer for it. Still, Sirius' freedom was a steep price to pay for her security."
ZeldaQueen: He...just sits on his hands there. He's "disheartened". After all of those years in Azkaban, after so much effort put in to finding and catching him... he just...sits there. And he doesn't care that Pettigrew is somewhere out in the world, maybe trying to find Voldemort again or what, and definitely getting away with murder. No, just so long as Holly is alright...
[insert screaming bit here]
*rubs head* I really, really need to finish this. We then jump to how her Patronus lessons are going. Jesus Christ, this isn't a fanfic, it's a bullet list! Anyway, she whines about how tiring her lessons are, even though "[t]he indistinct mist was more defined now, vaguely resembling something with four legs, shades of white and silver instead of just a light grey haze". We then jump - for the love of God, suethor, PICK A TOPIC AND STICK TO IT FOR MORE THAN A PARAGRAPH - to her Mind Magic lessons with Malfoy, on the day of a Hogsemeade visit. You know, never once has she gone to one of those. I think she only bothered with the map because she's going to need it to find Pettigrew. Anyway, Malfoy tells her to work harder and she whines about how she's tired from her Patronus classes, OH WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THAT??? In all seriousness, Harry found Patronus to be difficult, but he didn't constantly whine!
Anyway, Malfoy stops the lesson because poor little Holly is getting strained, and he proceeds to shill her, specifically about how she can do this if she can kill a Basilisk and Holly replies that "Fawkes did most of the hard work. I just ran around and tried not to die". *raises eyebrows* You know, suethor, when your own Mary Sue is pointing out how useless she is, that probably is meaningful.
The two bash Lockhart a few times as they reminisce about that fun little jaunt, and specifically recall how she pulled the Sword of Gryffindor from the hat. It still was never explained how she did that, incidentally. If I ever do talk to the suethor, I'm asking how she explains that one. Malfoy suggests that she stop the Patronus lessons, because Holly hasn't mastered them by now, so clearly they're useless. Holly says no, Dementors are horrible, horrible, evil things (that's pretty much how she words it) and she must learn how to defend herself. They start talking about that night on the train, when they first ran into them, and Holly asks what Malfoy saw. She sees him get all upset and confesses that she heard her dead parents and FUCK ME, NOT MORE ANGST!!!
Yes, we get an angsty backstory about Draco, which is supposed to make him all sympathetic and whatnot. It involves his Uncle Arius, Lucius's younger brother. You know, the one who wasn't in canon? Here it is, in all of its wangsty glory
"He died when I was seven. My parents said that he fell down the stairs and broke his neck, but I know that's a lie." His hands knotted in his robe. "I saw Reznik Lestrange at our house that day. I'd slipped away from my tutor, you see. Didn't want to learn about the Goblin War of 1612." Draco let out a mirthless laugh, bitter and heartbroken. "I heard Uncle and Lestrange arguing and came over to see what was going on. Before I could round the corner, they started duelling. The next thing I know was that he's dead, but I didn't see it. I'm not sure what spell Lestrange used. I just hid in one of the secret passages until he was gone"
ZeldaQueen: Okay. Well then. *raises hand*
First of all, who the fuck is Reznik Lestrange? Why not use the Lestranges we get in canon? It was established that they were clearly both axe crazy and devoted to Voldemort. I'm starting to get a sinking feeling that the suethor will be trying to make excuses for Bellatrix in later chapters.
Second of all, the thing this fight was over? Rigging an election. That's all. Lucius and the other Death Eater employees do stuff like that on a regular basis in the books. They just slip various officers a lot of gold. Which leads to the question of why there's such a big stink over it. Seems to me that if someone tried to stop a group of former Death Eaters from doing something like that, they'd just laugh at him. What could this Arius guy have done? We saw in the fourth book how determined Fudge was to believe that the former Death Eaters he employed were now good people.
Third of all, okay, let's say that Arius somehow sufficiently pissed off a former Death Eater who is crazy enough to kill over something like that. And apparently the rest of the Malfoys are in the house, or at least Draco is. Why wouldn't this Reznik dude go and kill them as well? We see in the books that Voldemort and the nuttier Death Eaters are perfectly fine with killing off innocent family members, to teach a lesson or even just because they're in a bad mood. And no suethor, don't tell me that it's because he couldn't have gotten away with it. The Death Eaters pretty much got away with attacking Muggles at the Quiddich World Cup and this guy got away with murdering one person. I'm sure expanding that count to four, or at least two, wouldn't be that hard to explain away.
So yeah, the suethor beats us over the head with how Malfoy appears older than his years as he says this and he drops the name "Aunt Eren" as he finishes his tale. Of all of that tripe, Holly only latches on to that last bit, and learns that Arius was Eren's fifth husband. GAH! We finish the section as Holly says "No wonder everyone thinks that Eren Zabini is a Black Widow...Her husbands really do keep dying in horrible and suspicious manners". I can just hear the suethor jumping up and down, going "SEE? SEE? SHE'S NOT REALLY A GOLD-DIGGING FEMME FATAL! SHE JUST HAS REALLY BAD LUCK AND ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A MEANIE!!!"
We jump through March, being told about some Goblin Flu outbreak and get a laundry list of who gets sick from it. I really don't care. We're also told about how badly Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are doing in Quiddich because they're not Slytherin and thus suck, and we're also told that their match was one of the "most bizarre games anyone could recall in recent memory" and ended with Cedric catching the Snitch right before sunset. We're never actually told what is so bizarre about this game. What? Did you really think the suethor would describe something besides Holly making moon eyes at Malfoy or Theo or Blaise? Don't make me laugh.
There's a stop at Canon Station, as Holly mentions Hermione's telling off of Trelawny and dropping of the class. Of course, this is worded to make both Hermione and Trelawny sound like hysterical mad women. Holly bashes Hermione for being strained from all of her classes, because Hermione won't break the rules and use her Time Turner as she pleases to get more time. Hand to God, not making that up. For some reason, that is what gets Ron over the eating of Scabbers and he's friends with Hermione again. Neville, because the suethor wants to indoctrinate him, stays distant from his two friends.
Now we're at "Ostara", and are told that the Zabinis have sent Holly a lot of chocolate. Mrs. Weasley also sent huge, chocolate eggs, and again I can only conclude that she is doing all of this from the goodness of her heart.
Jumping ahead to God-knows-when, Holly is playing chess in the Common Room with one of her friends, when in comes Snape! Holly realizes that her opponent actually arranged for this and she gets pissy, despite the fact that Snape clearly has something important to tell her. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she is so nasty when people are going out of their way to look out for her and take care of her, or the fact that people feel the need to take such lengthy steps to shelter this little brat.
Snape tells Holly to come with him and she actually considers whether or not she can ditch him. I...I don't really know what to say. Anyway, Snape takes her to his office, locks the door, and tells her that she knows why she's here. I really hope it involves Death By One Thousand Sporks.
And now, time for the author's notes!
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AN: Wow! An update! What else can I say? I've been sick.
ZeldaQueen: No comment
And midterms really suck. Plus, this is my last semester of undergrad, so everything is absolutely insane. Especially since I'm taking both Biochem and Japanese.
ZeldaQueen: At least she's not a Writing major, with her terrible sense of pacing and all
Further, I'm still open to suggestions for the gender and name of Blaise's new sibling. If I happen across a name that I like better than the one I currently have, I will use it and change the baby's sex if necessary.
ZeldaQueen: I think that right there tells us how important the kid will be to the story
And there's a poll for this story on my author's page. So go and vote. Also, please remember that I've already mentioned one definite pairing, so no matter how many people vote to the contrary, it's still going to show up.
ZeldaQueen: So why are you asking?
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ZeldaQueen: On a scheduling note here, I may be a little slow for the time being. I'm in the process of switching jobs, which is keeping me pretty busy. Once next week is out though, it's goodbye Wendy's and hopefully more spare time! So yeah, sorry for being slow and thanks for being patient!
Onward to: Chapter 36: Solitary Serenade
Back to: Chapter 34: Poisoned Rationality
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: You need to stop slacking
ZeldaQueen: Shut up and get things started
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 35: C'est La Vie
ZeldaQueen: Viewers, I really am sorry for the delays in this thing. I really am. But this abomination is so fucking boring! I mean horrendously boring! I found The Legend of Rah and the Muggles more entertaining to spork than this! I mean, there's the constantly reminds of how Slytherins can do no wrong, the Weasley bashing, and the arrogance, but then there's chapters where nothing happens. Where we get faux conflict to pad things out and this is quickly resolved and adds fuck all to the overarching plot. Chapters like this piece of shit.
So I'm going to do my best here. And again, I'm really sorry. I'm trying to make this funny and trying to do what I can with what I have, where I am. I really hope it works out.
If you recall in the last chapter, there was a cliffhanger in which Holly was grabbed by someone. This chapter reveals that it was Blaise, who just wants to talk. What, did you think there might actually be some plot, maybe a deviance from canon enough for Pettigrew to try to kidnap Holly, something resembling a climax? MY GOD SUETHOR, ARIANA BLACK HAD MORE CONFLICT THAN THIS!!!
*sigh* So Holly bitches at him for scaring her and he insists that he just wants to talk. We're treated to a description of how tired and thin he is, because not being in the Sue's good graces is just eating away at his life like that. Holly WAAAAAAAAANGSTS about how she deserves to hear him out (GOD!) and Blaise starts to WAAAAAAAANGST to Holly about how he had no friends before her and how he remembered his stepfather before Dante and how he loved him and misses him and GOD WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP???
*pants*
Sorry about that. So the upshot is that Blaise is wangsting because he knows that his family will die and leave him eventually and he is upset that Holly will leave him over this bonded thing. She is shocked shocked to discover gambling in this establishment that he would think such a thing and tells him so. They get all sappy, which is still creepy as hell because they're acting like they're dating and then there's a scene break. Thank God.
The suethor goes back into full-on summarizing mode, telling us how Sirius is tutoring the Sue and her friends, and how his lessons are so much more interesting than regular ones. Holly also gets a letter from Blaise's mother, inviting her to attend her child's birthing. That's...nice. Why's this important to the plot? Have these people forgotten about Pettigrew, all of a sudden?
We're told how Slytherin is going to win the Quiddich Cup if they beat Gryffindor in the next match because Slytherin can do no wrong and we then jump to Holly's Potion classes, where she bitches about how she still can't read Snape's mind. She also bitches about how the Prefects are still being nice and trying to look out for her. Yeah.
Malfoy starts teaching Holly to block spells with her Mind Magic (I hate that plot device) and she wonders if he gets perverse pleasure from throwing spells at her. Why? He's never shown wanting to attack her before. Granted, I wouldn't blame him, but still!!!
We then jump to Valentine's Day, and are told how relieved Holly is that there aren't any singing cherubs to embarrass her, this year. Why should she be embarrassed? Ginny was the one who was mocked, not her. Anyway, she gets an anonymous valentine and she gets all mushy and giggly over it. We're not told anything about this valentine though, so it's really hard to care or understand her enthusiasm. In fact...we jump ahead to March and don't find out a damned thing about the valentine. Hello? What was the point of that? To show that Holly was popular? We already knew that!!!
Going into March, we're told that, for no reason given, the first years are terrified that Sirius will try to break into the castle again. There's no rumors that he's around or anything, so it's really pointless. I, personally, am really irritated, because these mentions of panic over Sirius just come across as more smugness. Like the suethor is waving in our faces "Ha ha, my favorite characters know what's going on and the losers don't!" It reminds me of Bella laughing when Mike is worried about her relationship with Edward and says "He looks at you like you're something to eat". Also, Holly is more concerned with the prefects going back to full-on monitoring of her. Because she's a bitch who needs that much attention. And we get even more of her bitchiness a paragraph later.
"Buckbeak's trial swiftly approached, scheduled for the middle of April. Hagrid was beside himself with worry, his mind not on his classes at all. His students even spent one forgettable lesson doing nothing but tending to Fang. In all honesty, their books themselves were more interesting than anything else. That was even considering the fact that the things still insisted on biting and tearing into their owners."
ZeldaQueen: You know, suethor, the trial of Buckbeak decides on whether or not the poor thing is killed or not. Hagrid loves Buckbeak. And yet, you bash him for being worried about him dying or not. Holly is not sympathetic here in the slightest, nor is she really ever convincingly sorry. But that's alright, because the suethor raped canon so that Buckbeak really was at fault, so Malfoy could hate on him without being a jerk.
GAH!
Hermione, being infinitely more responsible and caring than Holly, is mentioned as spending her spare time researching things for Buckbeak's defense. This doesn't really paint that good a picture of Holly, suethor. After all, Hermione is taking all of the same classes Holly is, isn't abusing her Time Turner, and is devoting what little free time she has to saving an innocent creature. Holly is raping the laws of time and space to get plenty of free time, and yet we see her doing nothing of significance. And no, I won't accept "finding Pettigrew" as an answer, BECAUSE SHE NEVER MADE ANY SERIOUS EFFORT TO CAPTURE HIM, DAMMITT!!!
Ron, meanwhile, is bashed as the suethor takes care to mention that "[t]he redhead himself was caught between mourning the apparent loss of his beloved rat and plotting revenge against Crookshanks". *tiredly* Yes, suethor, his pet was a hidden Death Eater. He didn't know that! He's showing a perfectly normal response to one's pet seemingly dying and you're acting like he's being stupid because of something he doesn't know. I hate you!
And Neville?
"Neville stayed out of it for the most part, wisely keeping his mouth shut on the matter. He sat with Fred and George at mealtimes and other students during lessons. He had even started sharing a table with Holly and her friends in Divination, but she honestly didn't mind by this point. He had already apologised more than enough. Besides, he was rather enjoyable to be around most of the time, and he willingly distracted Trelawney whenever she started in on her death predictions. In recompense, the Slytherins even let him sit with them in Ancient Runes so that he wouldn't have to be near Hermione."
ZeldaQueen: List time!
First of all, what is up with this suethor's weird infatuation with Neville? She keeps treating him like he's the only one of the main Gryffindors who meshes with her weird Slytherin ideals. Is she ignoring the fact that he hates Malfoy and Death Eaters in general? Did she somehow forget that he was knocked out cold in the first book when he helped Ron fight Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy?
Second of all, yep, that right there pretty much sums up how a character is "right" and "wrong" in this fic. Neville apologized "more than enough" to Holly. He is entertaining enough and he makes life easier for her so she isn't pestered by Trelawney. Thus, he is considered "good" and allowed to bask in Holly's sacred presence. How nice. I guess we shouldn't be surprised though. It's no different than how Bella or Rose Potter see their friends, which makes sense since they're all Mary Sue fics of the worst order.
Finally, why does the suethor think we'll hate Hermione or find her annoying? She's done absolutely nothing to warrant this reputation, this idea that no one would want to even sit by her. We don't see it to Holly and we certainly don't see it to Neville. In fact, all I've seen is Hermione being far more gracious, kind, and studious than Holly is.
*sighs* So we then move on to Pettigrew. Remember him? He was supposed to be our main source of conflict, except that Our Heroes sat on their hands and let him get away? Well, they can't see him on the Maurader's Map anymore, which they take to mean that he's off school grounds. In other words, there is a man who has committed murder, was the reason Holly's parents died (which, by extension, means that he's the reason she lived with the Dursleys for all of those years), and was the reason that Sirius was in Azkaban running around in the world, with no one having any idea where he is or where he's headed. He can turn into a rat. As we see in the books, he does what he has to to survive. Like I said before, the last time he did that, it involved blowing up a street full of people. What do these people do about this situation?
Fuck-all nothing.
Do you really think I'm joking here?
Oh, and it gets better. Sirius here? Sirius Black, the guy who spent thirteen years in jail, plotting his revenge on Pettigrew, the guy who only broke out because he finally knew were Pettigrew was, the guy who loved his friends more than anything in the world and was furious that that trust was betrayed? Want to know how he reacts to losing, perhaps forever, his chance at protecting Holly from future harm and avenging his best friend?
"The Animagus was disheartened, to say the least, but he was holding up surprisingly well. Holly thought that perhaps he was somewhat relieved Pettigrew was gone since she and her friends were now safer for it. Still, Sirius' freedom was a steep price to pay for her security."
ZeldaQueen: He...just sits on his hands there. He's "disheartened". After all of those years in Azkaban, after so much effort put in to finding and catching him... he just...sits there. And he doesn't care that Pettigrew is somewhere out in the world, maybe trying to find Voldemort again or what, and definitely getting away with murder. No, just so long as Holly is alright...
[insert screaming bit here]
*rubs head* I really, really need to finish this. We then jump to how her Patronus lessons are going. Jesus Christ, this isn't a fanfic, it's a bullet list! Anyway, she whines about how tiring her lessons are, even though "[t]he indistinct mist was more defined now, vaguely resembling something with four legs, shades of white and silver instead of just a light grey haze". We then jump - for the love of God, suethor, PICK A TOPIC AND STICK TO IT FOR MORE THAN A PARAGRAPH - to her Mind Magic lessons with Malfoy, on the day of a Hogsemeade visit. You know, never once has she gone to one of those. I think she only bothered with the map because she's going to need it to find Pettigrew. Anyway, Malfoy tells her to work harder and she whines about how she's tired from her Patronus classes, OH WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THAT??? In all seriousness, Harry found Patronus to be difficult, but he didn't constantly whine!
Anyway, Malfoy stops the lesson because poor little Holly is getting strained, and he proceeds to shill her, specifically about how she can do this if she can kill a Basilisk and Holly replies that "Fawkes did most of the hard work. I just ran around and tried not to die". *raises eyebrows* You know, suethor, when your own Mary Sue is pointing out how useless she is, that probably is meaningful.
The two bash Lockhart a few times as they reminisce about that fun little jaunt, and specifically recall how she pulled the Sword of Gryffindor from the hat. It still was never explained how she did that, incidentally. If I ever do talk to the suethor, I'm asking how she explains that one. Malfoy suggests that she stop the Patronus lessons, because Holly hasn't mastered them by now, so clearly they're useless. Holly says no, Dementors are horrible, horrible, evil things (that's pretty much how she words it) and she must learn how to defend herself. They start talking about that night on the train, when they first ran into them, and Holly asks what Malfoy saw. She sees him get all upset and confesses that she heard her dead parents and FUCK ME, NOT MORE ANGST!!!
Yes, we get an angsty backstory about Draco, which is supposed to make him all sympathetic and whatnot. It involves his Uncle Arius, Lucius's younger brother. You know, the one who wasn't in canon? Here it is, in all of its wangsty glory
"He died when I was seven. My parents said that he fell down the stairs and broke his neck, but I know that's a lie." His hands knotted in his robe. "I saw Reznik Lestrange at our house that day. I'd slipped away from my tutor, you see. Didn't want to learn about the Goblin War of 1612." Draco let out a mirthless laugh, bitter and heartbroken. "I heard Uncle and Lestrange arguing and came over to see what was going on. Before I could round the corner, they started duelling. The next thing I know was that he's dead, but I didn't see it. I'm not sure what spell Lestrange used. I just hid in one of the secret passages until he was gone"
ZeldaQueen: Okay. Well then. *raises hand*
First of all, who the fuck is Reznik Lestrange? Why not use the Lestranges we get in canon? It was established that they were clearly both axe crazy and devoted to Voldemort. I'm starting to get a sinking feeling that the suethor will be trying to make excuses for Bellatrix in later chapters.
Second of all, the thing this fight was over? Rigging an election. That's all. Lucius and the other Death Eater employees do stuff like that on a regular basis in the books. They just slip various officers a lot of gold. Which leads to the question of why there's such a big stink over it. Seems to me that if someone tried to stop a group of former Death Eaters from doing something like that, they'd just laugh at him. What could this Arius guy have done? We saw in the fourth book how determined Fudge was to believe that the former Death Eaters he employed were now good people.
Third of all, okay, let's say that Arius somehow sufficiently pissed off a former Death Eater who is crazy enough to kill over something like that. And apparently the rest of the Malfoys are in the house, or at least Draco is. Why wouldn't this Reznik dude go and kill them as well? We see in the books that Voldemort and the nuttier Death Eaters are perfectly fine with killing off innocent family members, to teach a lesson or even just because they're in a bad mood. And no suethor, don't tell me that it's because he couldn't have gotten away with it. The Death Eaters pretty much got away with attacking Muggles at the Quiddich World Cup and this guy got away with murdering one person. I'm sure expanding that count to four, or at least two, wouldn't be that hard to explain away.
So yeah, the suethor beats us over the head with how Malfoy appears older than his years as he says this and he drops the name "Aunt Eren" as he finishes his tale. Of all of that tripe, Holly only latches on to that last bit, and learns that Arius was Eren's fifth husband. GAH! We finish the section as Holly says "No wonder everyone thinks that Eren Zabini is a Black Widow...Her husbands really do keep dying in horrible and suspicious manners". I can just hear the suethor jumping up and down, going "SEE? SEE? SHE'S NOT REALLY A GOLD-DIGGING FEMME FATAL! SHE JUST HAS REALLY BAD LUCK AND ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A MEANIE!!!"
We jump through March, being told about some Goblin Flu outbreak and get a laundry list of who gets sick from it. I really don't care. We're also told about how badly Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are doing in Quiddich because they're not Slytherin and thus suck, and we're also told that their match was one of the "most bizarre games anyone could recall in recent memory" and ended with Cedric catching the Snitch right before sunset. We're never actually told what is so bizarre about this game. What? Did you really think the suethor would describe something besides Holly making moon eyes at Malfoy or Theo or Blaise? Don't make me laugh.
There's a stop at Canon Station, as Holly mentions Hermione's telling off of Trelawny and dropping of the class. Of course, this is worded to make both Hermione and Trelawny sound like hysterical mad women. Holly bashes Hermione for being strained from all of her classes, because Hermione won't break the rules and use her Time Turner as she pleases to get more time. Hand to God, not making that up. For some reason, that is what gets Ron over the eating of Scabbers and he's friends with Hermione again. Neville, because the suethor wants to indoctrinate him, stays distant from his two friends.
Now we're at "Ostara", and are told that the Zabinis have sent Holly a lot of chocolate. Mrs. Weasley also sent huge, chocolate eggs, and again I can only conclude that she is doing all of this from the goodness of her heart.
Jumping ahead to God-knows-when, Holly is playing chess in the Common Room with one of her friends, when in comes Snape! Holly realizes that her opponent actually arranged for this and she gets pissy, despite the fact that Snape clearly has something important to tell her. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she is so nasty when people are going out of their way to look out for her and take care of her, or the fact that people feel the need to take such lengthy steps to shelter this little brat.
Snape tells Holly to come with him and she actually considers whether or not she can ditch him. I...I don't really know what to say. Anyway, Snape takes her to his office, locks the door, and tells her that she knows why she's here. I really hope it involves Death By One Thousand Sporks.
And now, time for the author's notes!
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AN: Wow! An update! What else can I say? I've been sick.
ZeldaQueen: No comment
And midterms really suck. Plus, this is my last semester of undergrad, so everything is absolutely insane. Especially since I'm taking both Biochem and Japanese.
ZeldaQueen: At least she's not a Writing major, with her terrible sense of pacing and all
Further, I'm still open to suggestions for the gender and name of Blaise's new sibling. If I happen across a name that I like better than the one I currently have, I will use it and change the baby's sex if necessary.
ZeldaQueen: I think that right there tells us how important the kid will be to the story
And there's a poll for this story on my author's page. So go and vote. Also, please remember that I've already mentioned one definite pairing, so no matter how many people vote to the contrary, it's still going to show up.
ZeldaQueen: So why are you asking?
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ZeldaQueen: On a scheduling note here, I may be a little slow for the time being. I'm in the process of switching jobs, which is keeping me pretty busy. Once next week is out though, it's goodbye Wendy's and hopefully more spare time! So yeah, sorry for being slow and thanks for being patient!
Onward to: Chapter 36: Solitary Serenade
Back to: Chapter 34: Poisoned Rationality
Return to: Table of Contents