The Short Second Life Of Bree Tanner: Part 10
ZeldaQueen: Getting it wound up now!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Part 10
ZeldaQueen: So Riley starts telling the newborns that if they can get their act together, together then can end this shit! And everyone starts to buy into this and start going "Yes we can! Yes we can!" and Bree notes that they're being given four days to get ready for battle and that Victoria (who she keeps calling "our creator", damn it all) must not want to cut things close. And it turns out the idiot is just staring at the door to watch for Diego to come in. Look hon, just come to grips, and I'll try to put this in the most sensitive way possible - he's dead. He's passed on. Diego is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff. Bereft of live, he rests in peace. If he hadn't been torn to bits and set aflame, he'd be pushing up the daisies. His metabolic process is now history. He's off the twig. He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible. THIS IS AN EX-DIEGO!!!!
*sigh* Back with Riley, he tells everyone that there's only seven enemy vampires and the newborns are all "SEVEN? Oh yes, but seven?" and Riley assures them that the enemies are tricky hobbitses and fight through deception. Kristie asks about what they'll need to know, and of course Meyer has it phrased so we know that Kristie is just a bitch who's trying to one-up Raoul. Riley tells them that they don't know everything about vampire life yet and says that he only didn't tell them this stuff at first because "I didn't want to overwhelm you in the beginning". I would dearly love for there to be at least one vampire in the group with common sense, who smacks Riley and shouts "If you knew that this area was already laid claim to by tough vampires, why not brief us from the start you idiot?!?" but we all know that doesn't happen. Instead, we get Riley trying to use Fred as an example of vampires with talents, except that Fred hates being made an example of and really turns up the stink so no one can look towards him at all (except for Bree, who's also being protected). I do love Fred. Oh, and Riley says that about one in fifty vampires have powers and that they're rare. Um, yeah they're about as rare as superpowers in an X-men comic. That's why we get contrived powers like "compassion" or "the ability to sense relationships in others". Gag me. This, of course, goes to everyone's heads and they all start trying to figure out if they have powers or not. Kristie is the first to catch on that the Cullens (yes, we all know that's who the "enemy coven" is) have special powers of their own. Is it just me, or are all the women that Meyer actively tries to write as bitches the ones who show the most sense?
Riley goes on to explain about the Cullen who has the power to read minds and that this is why they never told the newborns anything about Victoria! It's for their own protection of course! Because...if the Cullens found one of the newborns and didn't know that they were connected to her, of course they'd leave the newborn alone! In a very rare case, Bree shows a modicum of sense and realizes that this seems to serve more as protection to Victoria than them. I guess even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Riley goes on to say that once they take out the Cullens, they can feed as much as they want. Everyone cheers at this, apparently not realizing that at the rate they all go at, Seattle would pretty much be empty within three days, not even taking into account people moving out for their own safety or the government sticking its nose in to figure out why there's such a suspiciously high death toll. Bree doesn't buy into it and Fred doesn't either, though she can't figure out why. I guess he's not a psychotic lowlife who gets off on killing people? For her part, Bree doesn't go along with it all because either Riley is a lying bastard or her logic is off. Because he says they can feed all they want, but other vampires must be discreet anyway. Sorry, hold on a second.
DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN IN YOUR SKULL???
Yeah, like I said, sorry about that. But lord almighty, with all she's seen and heard, with all the evidence that they're just being considered pawns and being played for all they're worth, that is the thing that tips her off to what's wrong? The fact that Riley might just be an idiot who can't think ahead? (Well, he is but you know what I mean)
Anyway, Bree can't concentrate to figure this out, because Diego still has not yet come back. *rubs head* Meyer, please just stop with this. Please. We all know Diego's dead. Everyone. Even my pet German Shepherd could figure it out by now. Repeating over and over "Oh, Diego will be back any second, where could he be?" is not making any tension. Heck, just because I know how Eclipse ends, I know that there's no hope for Bree's run-away-with-Diego happily ever after.
Riley, meanwhile, is going off on his lecture about how they're going out to train just as soon as it's dark and by God if they don't do as he says he'll "take you to her...and hold you while she tears off your legs and then slowly, slowly burns off your fingers, ears, lips, tongue, and every other superfluous appendage one by one". Scary threat there. Why didn't he make it back at the beginning, when they were even more impressionable? And if everyone including Bree are so terrified of Victoria, why are they so thrilled to go to war for her? Anyway, Riley is all calm and cool and threatening, and I hate to beat a dead horse, but this means nothing to me since I've never seen how he normally acts around the newborns.
The newborns are splint into groups for Kristie and Raoul to train and Riley goes over to Bree and tells her that Diego left her a message about "a ninja thing". It's mentioned that Riley is using the same nicey-nicey voice he used before, when he got Bree her cheeseburger and then kidnapped her. So, you'd think that this would set off warning bells, wouldn't you? And hey, Bree's still hidden by Fred's aura of stink, so she just has to keep quiet and hidden, right?
Yeah, right. Bree promptly murmurs Diego's name as a reaction and gives away her location. I'm reminded of a bit from Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame, when Esmeralda is hiding splendidly in a cell and avoiding the guards, only to run to a window and start screaming Phoebus's name when she hears his voice. Bree decides that even though she's perfectly safe with Fred, she's going to go alone to the upper level with Riley because Diego has a message for her from beyond the grave and by god she's going to hear it! There's a lot of pointless descriptions of them walking through the dark house and out to the garage, and Riley comments on how Bree is "brave" to go upstairs when the sun's up. Riley starts in on how he knows that Bree and Diego are "tight", and how he thinks Diego is so smart. That's what she said. He then goes on to tell how he sent Diego out to spy for their upcoming battle.
Riley then explains to Bree about how he needs her to help convince Fred to lend his...talents to the upcoming battle. Now this is actually kind of interesting and acceptable as a reason for Riley to be keeping Bree around instead of just offing her as well - she's friends with Fred (or at least the only vampire he seems to give a damn about) and Riley figures that she's the best they have for leverage. Shame nothing really comes of it. Bree notes that Fred doesn't seem to really care about the newborns and that it's dubious as to whether or not he could be convinced to save them. I don't blame him. These people are all horrible! And I'm including Bree and Diego in that statement! Oh, and Bree goes and asks where, exactly Diego is. He's six feet under, dear. Riley feeds her the same cock-and-bull story about how he's out scouting and there's no time to lose, yadda , yadda, yadda. She goes on about how she misses him and wishes she were with him. Oh, you will be. You will be.
And dear God, are they still talking? Riley says that Diego brought up the secret handshake nonsense and how he figured one out. Why, WHY would Bree think that Diego would tell Riley that? Hmm? But she instantly loses all brain functions when Riley lets it "slip" that "I think that kid likes you a lot more than you like him". Somehow, Bree sees this all as potential proof that Diego is trying to tell her that Riley is trustworthy, but then she can't figure out why Riley doesn't know she knows about the sunlight thing. I'm really sorry folks, I'm going for two.
MAYBE RILEY IS LYING TO YOU, YOU STUPID, STUPID GIRL, AND YOU'RE BUYING IT HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER! GOD!!!
I guess very narrowly to her credit, Bree continues to believe that it's unwise to trust Riley. But if that's the case, then why does she believe him about Diego being alive? *rubs head*
Bree goes back downstairs, where everyone is practicing fighting. She does not partake in this and instead opts to hide next to Fred some more. She just goes on and on about how she's just going to find Diego and the two will make a break for it before the fighting starts, but oh no what if he wants to stay and fight? Because it's not like Bree could just leave on her own! I...I'm losing my will to go on.
There's a whole lot of talk of them training for three days and two nights, but of course we're never given any descriptions of said training. Meyer then hilariously gives us this sentence.
"Still, it was mostly repetition...It was kind of ridiculous, really, and made the group seem exceptionally stupid...Constant repetition"
ZeldaQueen: Riley's fighting tactics or Meyer's writing style? You decide!
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ZeldaQueen: And I'd best leave off here, before I fall asleep. God!
Onward to: Part 11
Back To: Part 9
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Part 10
ZeldaQueen: So Riley starts telling the newborns that if they can get their act together, together then can end this shit! And everyone starts to buy into this and start going "Yes we can! Yes we can!" and Bree notes that they're being given four days to get ready for battle and that Victoria (who she keeps calling "our creator", damn it all) must not want to cut things close. And it turns out the idiot is just staring at the door to watch for Diego to come in. Look hon, just come to grips, and I'll try to put this in the most sensitive way possible - he's dead. He's passed on. Diego is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff. Bereft of live, he rests in peace. If he hadn't been torn to bits and set aflame, he'd be pushing up the daisies. His metabolic process is now history. He's off the twig. He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible. THIS IS AN EX-DIEGO!!!!
*sigh* Back with Riley, he tells everyone that there's only seven enemy vampires and the newborns are all "SEVEN? Oh yes, but seven?" and Riley assures them that the enemies are tricky hobbitses and fight through deception. Kristie asks about what they'll need to know, and of course Meyer has it phrased so we know that Kristie is just a bitch who's trying to one-up Raoul. Riley tells them that they don't know everything about vampire life yet and says that he only didn't tell them this stuff at first because "I didn't want to overwhelm you in the beginning". I would dearly love for there to be at least one vampire in the group with common sense, who smacks Riley and shouts "If you knew that this area was already laid claim to by tough vampires, why not brief us from the start you idiot?!?" but we all know that doesn't happen. Instead, we get Riley trying to use Fred as an example of vampires with talents, except that Fred hates being made an example of and really turns up the stink so no one can look towards him at all (except for Bree, who's also being protected). I do love Fred. Oh, and Riley says that about one in fifty vampires have powers and that they're rare. Um, yeah they're about as rare as superpowers in an X-men comic. That's why we get contrived powers like "compassion" or "the ability to sense relationships in others". Gag me. This, of course, goes to everyone's heads and they all start trying to figure out if they have powers or not. Kristie is the first to catch on that the Cullens (yes, we all know that's who the "enemy coven" is) have special powers of their own. Is it just me, or are all the women that Meyer actively tries to write as bitches the ones who show the most sense?
Riley goes on to explain about the Cullen who has the power to read minds and that this is why they never told the newborns anything about Victoria! It's for their own protection of course! Because...if the Cullens found one of the newborns and didn't know that they were connected to her, of course they'd leave the newborn alone! In a very rare case, Bree shows a modicum of sense and realizes that this seems to serve more as protection to Victoria than them. I guess even a stopped clock is right twice a day. Riley goes on to say that once they take out the Cullens, they can feed as much as they want. Everyone cheers at this, apparently not realizing that at the rate they all go at, Seattle would pretty much be empty within three days, not even taking into account people moving out for their own safety or the government sticking its nose in to figure out why there's such a suspiciously high death toll. Bree doesn't buy into it and Fred doesn't either, though she can't figure out why. I guess he's not a psychotic lowlife who gets off on killing people? For her part, Bree doesn't go along with it all because either Riley is a lying bastard or her logic is off. Because he says they can feed all they want, but other vampires must be discreet anyway. Sorry, hold on a second.
DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN, DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN IN YOUR SKULL???
Yeah, like I said, sorry about that. But lord almighty, with all she's seen and heard, with all the evidence that they're just being considered pawns and being played for all they're worth, that is the thing that tips her off to what's wrong? The fact that Riley might just be an idiot who can't think ahead? (Well, he is but you know what I mean)
Anyway, Bree can't concentrate to figure this out, because Diego still has not yet come back. *rubs head* Meyer, please just stop with this. Please. We all know Diego's dead. Everyone. Even my pet German Shepherd could figure it out by now. Repeating over and over "Oh, Diego will be back any second, where could he be?" is not making any tension. Heck, just because I know how Eclipse ends, I know that there's no hope for Bree's run-away-with-Diego happily ever after.
Riley, meanwhile, is going off on his lecture about how they're going out to train just as soon as it's dark and by God if they don't do as he says he'll "take you to her...and hold you while she tears off your legs and then slowly, slowly burns off your fingers, ears, lips, tongue, and every other superfluous appendage one by one". Scary threat there. Why didn't he make it back at the beginning, when they were even more impressionable? And if everyone including Bree are so terrified of Victoria, why are they so thrilled to go to war for her? Anyway, Riley is all calm and cool and threatening, and I hate to beat a dead horse, but this means nothing to me since I've never seen how he normally acts around the newborns.
The newborns are splint into groups for Kristie and Raoul to train and Riley goes over to Bree and tells her that Diego left her a message about "a ninja thing". It's mentioned that Riley is using the same nicey-nicey voice he used before, when he got Bree her cheeseburger and then kidnapped her. So, you'd think that this would set off warning bells, wouldn't you? And hey, Bree's still hidden by Fred's aura of stink, so she just has to keep quiet and hidden, right?
Yeah, right. Bree promptly murmurs Diego's name as a reaction and gives away her location. I'm reminded of a bit from Victor Hugo's The Hunchback of Notre Dame, when Esmeralda is hiding splendidly in a cell and avoiding the guards, only to run to a window and start screaming Phoebus's name when she hears his voice. Bree decides that even though she's perfectly safe with Fred, she's going to go alone to the upper level with Riley because Diego has a message for her from beyond the grave and by god she's going to hear it! There's a lot of pointless descriptions of them walking through the dark house and out to the garage, and Riley comments on how Bree is "brave" to go upstairs when the sun's up. Riley starts in on how he knows that Bree and Diego are "tight", and how he thinks Diego is so smart. That's what she said. He then goes on to tell how he sent Diego out to spy for their upcoming battle.
Riley then explains to Bree about how he needs her to help convince Fred to lend his...talents to the upcoming battle. Now this is actually kind of interesting and acceptable as a reason for Riley to be keeping Bree around instead of just offing her as well - she's friends with Fred (or at least the only vampire he seems to give a damn about) and Riley figures that she's the best they have for leverage. Shame nothing really comes of it. Bree notes that Fred doesn't seem to really care about the newborns and that it's dubious as to whether or not he could be convinced to save them. I don't blame him. These people are all horrible! And I'm including Bree and Diego in that statement! Oh, and Bree goes and asks where, exactly Diego is. He's six feet under, dear. Riley feeds her the same cock-and-bull story about how he's out scouting and there's no time to lose, yadda , yadda, yadda. She goes on about how she misses him and wishes she were with him. Oh, you will be. You will be.
And dear God, are they still talking? Riley says that Diego brought up the secret handshake nonsense and how he figured one out. Why, WHY would Bree think that Diego would tell Riley that? Hmm? But she instantly loses all brain functions when Riley lets it "slip" that "I think that kid likes you a lot more than you like him". Somehow, Bree sees this all as potential proof that Diego is trying to tell her that Riley is trustworthy, but then she can't figure out why Riley doesn't know she knows about the sunlight thing. I'm really sorry folks, I'm going for two.
MAYBE RILEY IS LYING TO YOU, YOU STUPID, STUPID GIRL, AND YOU'RE BUYING IT HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER! GOD!!!
I guess very narrowly to her credit, Bree continues to believe that it's unwise to trust Riley. But if that's the case, then why does she believe him about Diego being alive? *rubs head*
Bree goes back downstairs, where everyone is practicing fighting. She does not partake in this and instead opts to hide next to Fred some more. She just goes on and on about how she's just going to find Diego and the two will make a break for it before the fighting starts, but oh no what if he wants to stay and fight? Because it's not like Bree could just leave on her own! I...I'm losing my will to go on.
There's a whole lot of talk of them training for three days and two nights, but of course we're never given any descriptions of said training. Meyer then hilariously gives us this sentence.
"Still, it was mostly repetition...It was kind of ridiculous, really, and made the group seem exceptionally stupid...Constant repetition"
ZeldaQueen: Riley's fighting tactics or Meyer's writing style? You decide!
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ZeldaQueen: And I'd best leave off here, before I fall asleep. God!
Onward to: Part 11
Back To: Part 9
Back to: Table of Contents